One

No, not the movie, although Jet Li always rocks! One more day until I take to the skies and head out to Las Vegas. City of Sin. Unless your a retarded n00b like me who thinks all those friendly girls just want to chat with him.

Apparently Peacecorn has a nice twitter thing going for you twits. Fun to see people in various states of travel. Sample below:

thisisnotapril
oh i COULD make it fit if i wanted to, but it's just so much easier this way. don't have to think now, just grab and toss

I have no idea what she could make fit or what she is grabbing but good times.

How about the frozen Minnesota Crew. Minus thirteen. Ouch. I can not support the pussyness of OhCaptain though. Pocket Purell? Really? Why don't you just grow a set and man up. Germs are afraid of real men. They feast on Pocket Purell women like you. Bitch.

What else. I am so confused. Is Isildur1 Blom? I read that Blom denied it. However several sites have confirmed it and even high stakes poker blog refers to him as Blom all the time. Check this shit out:

Hastings Torches Isildur1 for up to $4.2 Million in Epic Poker Match - Poker News - CardPlayer.com: "At the end of a five-hour session that saw the two players battle at $500-$1,000 pot-limit Omaha, Hastings was up anywhere from $3.2 million to $4.2 million. (That discrepancy comes from the tenuous poker tracking sites out there, which give a good sense of what’s going on but fail to be completely accurate.) While the exact amount may not be known, it is clear that Hastings crushed him."

Is Isildur1 going to commit suicide before we find out who he REALLY is? If you want to give me the exclusive interview man I am here. I will even teach you how to play break even poker. It seems you need some lessons. I do like his responses in chat though. Shows that he might have the skills I have in playing breakeven poker:

Brian Hastings: i feel bad quitting tho
Brian Hastings: would be be cool w/ playing someone else?
Isildur1: just f off
Isildur1: wåfä’qqqqqqqnhjwe4nm
Isildur1: dW
Isildur1: GFE4¨ÅN,K N,KN,KN,KN,KN,KN,KN,KN,KN,KN,KN,KN,KN,K3
Isildur1: Q
Isildur1: u know how lucky u are ?
Brian Hastings: yes i know
Isildur1: i can promise this is the worst Brian Hastings: ill give you 30 more min if you want
Isildur1: luck anyone had
Brian Hastings: but im rly tired
Isildur1: k 30 mins more
Isildur1: take my last $$
Isildur1: i dont want it
Isildur1: ::S:S

The middle part is either a mental breakdown or some weird Icelandic or Nordic language. Not sure which but I think I would recognize it if it was a mental breakdown.

I fly out tomorrow and will be in Vegas around 8:00 Vegas time. I will head to the MGM. I might possibly stash my bag in my Hooters room otherwise I will give it to the MGM bag check people. They are really nice. You just say you are playing in the casino and they put your bag behind the desk. I am a little scared to see my Hooters room. Peace out.

Your Not the Only One

Blargh you retard your not the only one who can do Photoshop! How you like that you fucktard!

Blaaargggghh

I am not sure if his name is a noun, verb, or whatthefuck. Moron. Has nothing to do with the post. I just wanted to call him a fucking moron.

Life has been busy and not so busy. I was going to write a little about Thanksgiving. However there was nothing better to write. My sister is up to her old tricks opening credit cards in my name. So I told her I am calling the cops on her AGAIN. She then yelled at me and said I was a bad father and did not provide for my family yadda yadda. It is kind of funny to be told your a bad parent by someone who ignores their kid when he is having brain seizures and ships him off to Granma's so often he calls Grandma "mom". It is impossible to win a fight with a retard but I try. Internet poker has been good for SOMETHING at least.

Finally took care of that little court thing I mentioned before. I skipped the first two meetings then they finally said "WE ARE GOING TO ARREST YOU IF YOU MISS THIS ONE!".. so, reluctantly I went, and told the creditor to fuck off basically and so I am done with this bullshit. It did get interesting though. You borrow 6K. The creditor then says you owe them 12K. After they go to court and get it jacked up to 21K. You then get your own lawyer and owe 0K. Gotta love our system.

I miss CarmenSinCity blog posts. I talked to her last week or so and she said she is having computer problems. She said she is doing fine otherwise. Hopefully I will get to see her next weekend.

I am sort of looking forward to Vegas. Sometimes I get excited and other times I just can not. I know this is because I am depressed and nothing in life gets me very excited. I am sure I will have a good time though. I am staying at Hooters Hotel and doing the MGM Friday Night at the Bar, Saturday Blogger Tourney, and Sunday at the Sports Book. In between those activities I am totally free. If anyone needs my cell number again let me know. I probably have yours if you went to the last meeting. I will charge my phone up for the trip for sure. Will this be the year I finally see a hooker? I have never noticed one in Vegas. Will I finally get to a strip club? Never been to one in Vegas. Will a hooker Al-Roll me? Will I become handicapped from alcohol like Drizz? Will I step on little Iggy? All these fun questions will be answered soon enough. Until then enjoy.

Vegas Baby!

In response to "The Wife's" post. First off I don't see what goodness and light have to do with that time of the month. Totally opposite in my opinion. I am trying to get into an excited mood for this trip. Her post has helped a little. So here are my answers to her questions:

A. Drink until you have a tendency to say (or do) inappropriate things?

Umm.. Do I ever say anything appropriate?

B. Throw money around a table with friends without regard to probability, necessarily?

Not this year. Some years I like the pokering. This year I am thinking about hitting the bar and socializing whatever that might be. Apologies to Dawn for ruining her easiest way to get money for a plane ticket. Sorry Babe!

C. Hug anyone and anything you might have some passing familiarity with?

Sounds good to me! I may get smacked, arrested, and/or kicked in the sack. Might be fun though.

D. Kiss your friends, regardless of race, creed, nationality, gender, or poker-playing ability?

Now I KNOW that will get me arrested. So I guess I have to pass.

E. Listen to loud music played by grown up men wearing spandex?

Possibly.

F. Watch football with your 50+ closest virtual and actual friends?

Oh yeah. I am gonna let the kids place a bet on a full card parlay too. It is fun spending 10 bucks for a chance at a grand or so. Last time I missed it by 1 OT game. Fucking Hate Vince Young ever since.

G. Eat, drink and be merry?

Have you seen my tummy? OF COURSE!

H. Take photographic evidence?

I will leave that to others.

I. Do things that you might not want your children or your parents to know about, but that will give your pals story material for years to come?

Possible.

J. See me in purple?

Highlight of the trip for sure!

Garthmeister J

Hey I am in Team Waffles for the Last Longer Challenge that PokerStars added a zillion bucks to. Thank you giant lovable poker entity!!! I may have dissension in the ranks so you might hear my team called The Corporation or Team I like to Wear Superman Underoos. Do not be fooled though it is all about me and Team Waffles it is.

A slightly worse player than me is looking for partners. There can be only one Waffles but he is not so bad. He is a good guy even if he watches ghey Chef shows. So if anyone is looking to get into the last longer challenge in Vegas give this guy a comment.

I will be posting more on Thanksgiving later even though you all ignored my last post! Fuckers I hate you all. Latah.

Thanksgiving Memories

I do not tend to be overly nostalgic but sometimes it just hits you. I have always had a weird relationship with my parents. I do not really like them. It was weird when my dad passed away from cancer a few years back because part of me felt like I owed him some tears and another part felt like who cares. It is not that I hate them. I guess it is more indifference. I feel like they were not in my life as a kid. A lot of my memories of my dad consisted of him being out on the road driving his big rig, sleeping all the time he was home, or beating me for waking him up.

Sometimes though there were good memories. As I wandered down my moms basement at Thanksgiving I ran smack into a pretty fun one. Sitting behind the boiler downstairs were two bow and arrows. They brought back some fun times. In front of our apartment complex with him hitting this skinny tree. Telling me stories of bow hunting in the woods. Letting me do some target shooting. I had a few of my own memories like the cops pulling me over while I was walking down the street looking for an arrow I shot into the air. oops. Luckily it was unstrung and I just got a warning.

My son eats up all the stories of my past life. He has already laid claim to one of the bows. Perhaps we can make some more memories at an archery range. Hopefully I can get my head out of my ass and be a better father for my kids.

I guess these nostalgic memories kind of surprise me. I have not visited my dads grave yet. Not because of any hatred or dislike but mostly because I do not see the point.

Really It Is Coming..

I promise that Turkey Day writeup is coming.. Until then do you fucking believe this shit? DeSean Jackson my star! Fucking Concussion. Big Ben? Same. I am fucking single handedly destroying the hopes and dreams of football teams everywhere. Drizzle when Peterson goes down with the career ending knee injury I AM SORRY MAN! Really! Please do not hate. Being the cooler is not a controllable power. It just happens.

Poker is SUCH a Joke

I mean how can it not be when you get all in with AK vs AQ and the Queen spikes and you have to get a miracle Jack to win. How is it not a joke when you pot for half a guys stack leaving almost the amount of your bet in your stack and you have the ass end of the straight but you KNOW your opponent has a naked Ace ON THE FUCKING TURN and you can not fade a fucking king? If you enjoyed that you will probably enjoy the thanksgiving writeup. Hope your holidays were fun.