Instant Tragedy

I got this from IT. First off this is stupid because I do not know how much I won. Did I win a million or some real money? I need to know peeps.

IF I WON THE LOTTERY…
I would do these 11 things:

1. DIVORCE
Finally I could afford that glorious day I have been saving up for forever. The kids would be well taken care of with the Lottery money so I would not have to worry about screwing up their lives if I left. It would be very cool.

2. BORING
I would do all the boring things like pay off my bills and my mortgage. Reducing the amount of money I need to live on. Would make things easier.

3. VEGAS BABY
The Vegas gathering would be a blast. I would rent out a suite and fly out anyone who wanted to go. Let them stay with me for free and have some nice parties. Probably throw some cash on top of the Blogger MTT too. I am going to win anyways so might as well add a bit.

4. WORK
I would totally keep working. I actually to some degree enjoy my work. I used to really like it a ton. I might take a different lower paying job possibly part time so I could have some free time to fix my life.

5. HOOKERS
Honestly I can not see myself buying a piece of ass. No disrespect to my blogger brethren who partake. I mean one part of me actually probably would get off on humiliating and degrading a woman but the other part of me would probably never let me stop feeling guilty about it. I guess I might be a nice guy? blah.

6. TRAVEL
Why the fuck would I want to go somewhere else? I mean everyone else in the world is trying to get HERE. If I did any traveling it would be to hit up the blogger boys in every state. Party down at Al's bar, shoot something with Gary, I dunno.. Just have some fun and travel a bit in style. I guess if I was to travel to any country it might be Amsterdam with Pauly and Change? That sounds like fun. However given my view on Hookers it might not be that much fun.

7. WSOP
Why the heck not. If I make that much money I might as well have some fun in the big game.

8. BANKROLL
I would surely fund myself online. I would not go crazy but I would make sure I could play higher level games and MTTs whenever I wanted to.

9. HOUSE
I would probably buy a new, bigger, better house and stock it with all sorta of electronical goodness. Including new computers for the whole family and all that jazz. I would hire an architect to design my house and it would probably be some sort of Victorian style house with secret passageways and rooms everywhere. Like a Scooby Doo cartoon.

10. INVEST
I would totally use a chunk of the money to make sure I always had a decent amount of income coming in. It would all be in pretty safe vehicles that just made me enough to live on every year and take care of the kids and their educations going forward.

11. BUM HUNT
Yeah I always wanted to do this. I would hire some professional hunters and we would get a bum from the streets and hunt him down and kill him. Like in the movies. That would be so cool! Nahh just kidding. I ran out of ideas. Fuck I need to get a life.

That’s what I would do If I won the lottery. I never pass on the mememoomoo things but if you want to answer the question the go for it. Apparently I am more popular than I think and tend to cause things to spread like wildfire through the bloglines. Everyone wants to be your friend when your break even baby.