Been Thinking

Been talking to an old friend a bit and it has me thinking. Perhaps my situation is not as bad as I think. The old friend see's their kid's like every other weekend or something like that. I get to see mine every day. Perhaps the situation is not that bad.

The things I need to change are my own attitudes and reactions to the whole thing. My old approach was just to bail out and shrivel up in a ball and not let anything in. Just not interact with anything. Not take control of anything. Not deal with it. Just hide away in my Warcraft world until who the fuck knows what happens.

I just need to engage again. With a different attitude also. I need to take control of the things that should be in my control and handle the things that are not without resentment or anger.

On the things I can control I just need to jump in and shake things up. It will probably cause some shitstorm and I will have to face up to things and deal with other people and their anger. It just needs to be done.

On things I have no control over for example if I want something done like washing dishes or cooking things then I should just do it. Not worry about me doing everything or her not doing anything. Not keeping score. Just get things done if I want them done.

Not everything will be perfect and perhaps this will be the catalyst for her storming out somewhere who knows. For now I think taking control of the things I can and letting go of the rest will make my situation so much better. Living with the kids is an awesome gift. The only downside is bringing chicks home. Since I seem to be an anathema to women it should all work out. Peace.