Texas is Stuuuuupid

The next honorary blog of the month goes to… Texas from ThisIsNotAPokerBlog. Why? Probably because she whined the loudest in the last post. I tried to find some past posts on Texas but either blogger sucks at searching or I really never had anything good to say about her. Texas and I go back a few years.. to the old Party Poker blogger tables.

Actually Texas is one of my favorite bloggers. Her game has improved drastically since I last played her. I remember back in the old days I was usually able to muscle over her and make her fold. Not anymore. Somehow she developed some backbone over the past few years and has turned into a tough player. I now need to employ other techniques to bust her like I did in the WWDN last Thursday.

I always tease her about Texas. Here is the full transcript for you April and a few lines that I enjoyed.

Patrick: Yeah, what’s so great about dumb ‘ol Texas. [the bus backs up quickly and Sandy steps out]
Sandy: What did you say?
Patrick: [scared] Texas is dumb? [the bus leaves without Sandy]
Sandy: Don’t you dare take the name of Texas in vain!
Spongebob: You mean we can’t say anything bad about dumb ‘ol Texas?
Sandy: No, you can’t!
Patrick: Well, can we say people from Texas are dumb?
Sandy: No, you can’t! No, you can’t say nothing about Texas! [Sponge catches on to something]
Spongebob: Oh, so we shouldn’t say anything bad about [mockingly] Texas!
Sandy: I’m warning you, Spongebob!
Spongebob: Hey Patrick, I’m Texas! [grabs his pants and moseys in a circle] Duh, howdy y’all! [repeats]
Patrick: I’m Texas too! [does the same moseying] Get a dog, little longey. Get a dog little longey… [Sandy’s really mad]
Sandy: Y’all best cut it out! [Spongebob sings horrible Western while Patrick does armpit noises]
Spongebob: The stars at night are dull and dim whenever they have to be over dumb old stupid Texas! [Sandy is really steaming, Spongebob has converted his body into the shape of Texas] Hey Patrick, what am I now?
Patrick: Um, stupid?
Spongebob: No, I’m Texas!
Patrick: What’s the difference? [the two laugh, Sandy drops her bags]
Sandy: Y’all best apologize, or I’ll be on you like ugly on an ape!

We always have the best conversations at the tables though, like this excerpt from one of our first Razz games ever:

Texas: i have no idea what i'm doing
SirFWALGMan: me either
SirFWALGMan: this is lowball texas
SirFWALGMan: flushes and straights dont count
Texas: like at ALL?
Texans: he won b/c he had an Ace, right?
SirFWALGMan: prolly
Texas: lol
SirFWALGMan: Ace = Low
Texas: you are so freakin helpful
Texas: where is Felicia when we need her?
Texas: ummm
Texas: what about quads?
GameC: lol
Texas: they worth anything?
GameC: That's generally bad. . .
Texas: can i take these cards to a NL table?
SirFWALGMan: Texas is wild!
Dealer: Texas shows 6,5,4,3,2
Dealer: Texas wins the pot (359) with 6,5,4,3,2
SirFWALGMan: Are you in collussion with Texas?
innocent5: raising with kings showing
innocent1: hell
Texas: Can a girl get some credit for her nice hand???
SirFWALGMan: its low ball.. lol
SirFWALGMan: that hand rocked
innocent1: what is the object
innocent4: it was vn
SirFWALGMan: thats why I folded
innocent5: haha
Texas: thank you
Texas: see Sir...we're spreading the word about poker
Texas: isn't that what WE DO?

We have also played some Omaha together:

Texas: i don't get this game at all
SirFWALGMan : its a low variance game..
Texas: i thought i had a flush
Texas: i only had 2 pair
Texas: i think it was that whole 2 of my cards thing

See a pattern here? She did not know how to play ANY poker games.. however since then she has learned a lot and even hosted a HORSE tourney on FT. Way to improve yourself and keep it up. I guess the other pattern back then was me playing her in every game she did not know to boost my bankroll.. hmm.. maybe there is a reason I like her so much.

So enough with the teasing.. she runs a great blog, has become a great player and Ya’ll should head on over and check out her spread if you have not done so yet. *snicker* I said spread.