Thinking About Chicks

I took a HUGE crap last night and I am back down to 177 pounds. Weight gain problem solved. Booooom! I am still stuck at the 177 area but at least it does not appear as if I am gaining weight like I thought.

Sometimes I contemplate ways in which I could meet some women. The first obvious choice would be as wingman. You always need the ugly guy you can pass off on the fat chick. I would probably get lucky but it might not feel like it.

Next I was thinking the old retarded guy move. You know go up to a chick pretending to be retarded. Say "Hi my name is mikey will you be my friend". Bonus points if you can make drool come out of the side of your mouth. Nobody can be mean to a retarded person! Least no soft hearted chick things. Of course progressing anywhere past that first step would be nearly impossible.

So then I came up with the best idea. Incest support group! I mean come on. Talk about people with esteem issues. It could be an awesome place to get laid. Know what the best part is though? When you want to break it off just yell "WHO'S YOUR DADDY!" during sex.