Thursday, December 27, 2007

Commuting Rant

I have a poker rant coming however todays commute was really fucking annoying. Actually I hate commuting every day so this is not really any different. So here is my ode to the commute.

Here is to you fucking Mexican guitar hero wanna be begger fucker. Go fucking beg somewhere else. I do not wanna here your cabana music strummed out. I admit your decent in a third grade remedial way but who the fuck wants to hear that shit. You suck. Go away. While your at it take that fucking Chinese bastard with you. I have no idea what the fuck he is playing. It looks like he killed a few rats and used their whisker's and bones to make some retarded mini-harp and now is plucking out some retarded tune that makes me long for your playing. Fuck you both. Beg on the streets like normal people.

Now the retarded guy I will give a pass too. He is retarded so he probably does not know any better. However why can't your handler put your mussel back on? I mean motherfucker. I swear I thought you were going to bite me as you screamed at the top of your lungs "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PASSS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PASSS!".. What did your grandpa rape you with a T pass when you were little? What the fuck? Pleeeeaseeeee control your retarded pets when riding in public. It is just common courtesy and other people do not feel real safe.

The fucking dorky looking guy in the train station was ok. I just include him because he broke into my pacing orbit while I was waiting for 15 minutes for my fucking T-Train to come. He was cool. He was the size of Iggy and he had big fucking blue shoes on! I mean what the fuck??!?! He looked like the long lost Dorkey Smurf. Please only come out after dark if you look and dress like this.

Here is to you senile old bitch at CVS... please call Dr. Kevorkian I am sure he can give you a nice shot to help both of us out. I mean I know you have to try out ever fucking umbrella in CVS but do you have to do it in front of the only cashier? Can you move the fuck out of my way so I can pay for my food and leave? I swear you had better be a wandering Alzheimer's patient or I am going to hip check you on the ice next time. You smell like old people too. An extra little fuck you to CVS for having ONE FUCKING cashier on duty. I know you are cheap fucks and hire slow people who can not speak a word of English but please have several of these monkeys at a register so I can get out relatively quickly.

Last but not least cute Asian chick.. Do you not notice my dick waving at you? Do you not have the least bit of human decency.. at least wave back.. If you were a truly nice person you would come over when he waved at you and shake his hand. I mean the train was mostly empty. Peace.


Blogger Instant Tragedy: Just Add Water said...

Not sure she (Cute Asian Chick) could see it.

Happy New Year Waffles.

Glad to see you ranting and raving!


9:47 AM

Blogger Mike Maloney said...

Right on.

10:18 AM

Blogger kurokitty said...

This quite possibly is the Festivus post of the year.

10:23 AM

Blogger The Assistant said...


11:34 AM

Blogger jusdealem said...

Good one..;)

5:45 PM


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