Tony Has Given Me An Idea

Tony's blog is always interesting to read. I really hope the guy gets some help. He really reminds me of myself at times.

Anyhow I have been reading his posts and his most recent one gave me an idea. He sends Josie emails and asks her to do him favors. Now Josie is the NICEST person on the entire planet. I mean she is a regular Mother Teressa. She tells me stories all the time of helping out homeless people. Not only does she help them out but she talks with them and really cares.

I tell her my stories of watching homeless people walk in the middle of the road and not doing anything to help. See how that works?

So since I am evil and Josie is incredibly good and can not stop helping people I have hatched a devious plan. Here it is. I can even TELL Josie what the plan is because she is too nice not to do it.

I need to get some motivation to get back in shape. I was doing really well last year and then November came. I get into a deep, dark, funk every November. So now I am back to way out of shape. I need to change this. I am going to start doing pushups again. The only problem with pushups is it gets tiring for me to keep feeling my own chest. I mean it was getting really tight and sexy but feeling yourself up is akin to masturbation: kinda like the real thing, but not quite as good.

So Josie baby I need your help! You must commit to feeling my chest all over once a month and telling me if it has improved. You must do a thorough investigation and tell me the truth. Thus I shall be motivated to continue getting healthy and will possibly avoid my scheduled 50yr old heart attack.

What do you say Josie? Can you help someone who is down on their luck? Can you provide some much needed help so that I can get back into shape? I need your help!! I am desperate and stuff. So what do you say woman? Can you help a poor, helpless, man with his health, his esteem, nay even his very life!!! How can you refuse? Peace.