When you weigh 300 pounds what possesses you to wear a mini skirt? Not only a mini skirt but one that is bright orange. I think HR should enact the "If you look like a fucking orange blimp your fired" rule. I will never be able to scrub my eyes clean.
Getting old sucks. I think my ass has picked up the idea that farting is a mating call.. so I need to keep an eye on it when I am in the elevator alone with a chick. Peace.