Monday, April 30, 2007

Bloggers are Fishy

Do you need more proof? Here is my Poker Tracker ranking of the top loosers I have seen play NLHE.

If you see your name there.. You must be a fish.

I finished a fishtastic 11th in the Hoyazo tonight. Totally pissed off at the game tonight really. I hoped for a better finish.. although Jeciimd was Bubble Boy in the points tonight which is kind of funny. I guess he may have taken what I said to heart and decided to play.. NAHHHH..

And now for something different..

While you're here, check out how I got nailed for a $860 pot in a donkeyment confrontation that I think never should have happened. I can only play a hand so perfectly, but sometimes the poker gods rape my anus for a huge pile anyways, no matter how little regard for his money the donkey at the table shows.

I call a pot-raise preflop with pocket JTs. S00ted connectors you know! I flop TPTK, Chaaa ching!! and figure it is probably good here. Seeing that my opponent is the incredible donk of legend: HOYAZO, I decide to masterfully give him some rope to hang himself with.

Instead of doing a standard c-bet Hoyazo then decides to check behind me. He knows he is likely behind and somehow resists the urge to bet into me. I might have given him credit for a strong hand here if he bet out but his weakness lets me know the real deal.

So now we come to the turn and it is a pretty little six. I have now used my incredible deductive skills and narrowed his hand down to AK. It is time to rope my dope in. He has one card left to come and I know if I show weakness I can pull him into this hand.

OK so even though I called his pot-raise preflop, and an Jack fell on the flop , donkey raises me 360 into a $260 pot. He has to figure he's beat here and drawing to just two overcards, but I guess he feels compelled to throw out the standard size raise anyways. It's pronounced FORM - yew - lay - ik. Well, I've learned from some of the hands I've had up on the blog this week, and all the comments I've received -- let him bluff off MORE chips to me. I mean let's review here. I am a 86% favorite and I am letting this donkey bet into me. He has misplayed this hand from the very beginning and I have trapped him brilliantly. Now I just need to avoid that 13% chance on the river and I will be able to take down a nice pot.

A $960 pot, raped from me and given to the donkey who not only can't keep himself from betting out with a clear loser on the turn, but he couldn't even fold to my nice bet on the turn. That generous man might as well have been writing me a check when he called that turn raise. Donks who just can't get away from their hands, even when they get caught essentialy bluffing with just two outs. Un. fucking. Believable.

This has been a Hot Hand of the day brought to you by the Letter H and the Cartoon Character Grey Box McGruffy the crime square.

At least I took my wrath out on the 3/6 Razz table to the toon of a $150 pot to pay for the Hoyazo and my cash game escapades of the day. Break even never felt so good. Serves those fuckers right for calling me down with a 987 and KJJ. Fuckers. My 7 is all powerful! Even if I rivered it. See you Wednesday at the Mookie!


Blogger jjok said...

I"m a fish......weeeeee

11:27 PM

Blogger Drizztdj said...

You could have at least photoshopped my name on there so it would be accurate.

5:59 AM

Blogger TripJax said...

Didn't realize Ten was Top Kicker...nonetheless...funny stuff.

6:12 AM

Blogger jeciimd said...

Im not sure how this got started...but here's where it stops.

6:26 AM

Blogger jeciimd said...

I refuse to let a piss-poor poker player like yourself continue to make disparaging comments about me on his little page.

Put up your me for it.
If you still have any pride left after, then u can run your mouth.

Until then, just shut up.

6:28 AM

Blogger oossuuu754 said...

Since when is J10, on J hi flop considered TPTK. Oh wait I forgot this is Waffles blog. DOH! BTW nice call last night with JJ. In the words of Doyle Brunson you cant bluff an idiot! : )

6:49 AM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

I rul3 you! Letz playz HU! I challenge youz to a Headz up battlez! Are you cheecken? I will P@WN your azz!

Your soooo cool Jecii, how can I be like you. You disparage yourself by your babyish challenges like some .01/.02 monkey, your over insistence on how good you are, and your deep desire to keep saying it until it is true. If you really had no problem with your game nothing I said would be an issue. Have some pride in yourself man. Your embarrassing.

7:47 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a real donkey wow, played two sessions and I'm down a buy-in. I better start looking for a real job.

BTW who is that ass clown with a VP$IP 65.73 and a PFR of 30.90?

7:52 AM

Blogger StB said...

I hope- nay pray- you are joking about how you played that hand. I am willing to bet that Hoy had you from the beginning. Where is the river action? Hoy bet and you folded. That must be it as you played the hand like a pansy from the get go. No turn re-raise if you were that confident?

8:15 AM

Blogger jeciimd said...

Im not talking about .01/.02.

The problem I have is not with my game, but with your continued distortion of the facts to make yourself look better. I also have a problem with trying to have an adult discussion with a 4th grade amateur like yourself. Something like this:

waffles: talks trash
jeciimd: responds in an
articulate fashion
waffles: plaguarizes something he
read on the wall in junior high
jeciimd: begins to realize that verbal battles with retards is akin to clubbing baby seals

Im going to assume your answer then is no.

8:35 AM

Blogger PokahDave said...


8:52 AM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Put up the same risk and I will. Your entire bankroll against mine. I am all for that.

9:13 AM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

I actually called his value bet on the river Stb, although I knew he sucked out on me.. and yes, I am kidding.. Paying Homage to Hoyazo.. although I think he could have folded on the turn instead of raising me since he was behind. Obviously he felt I was bluffing him and so raised me to try and take it down. The right move is as you said to push him in there.. but I need to work on trusting my instincts that deeply.

9:17 AM

Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:19 AM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

waffles: talks trash
jeciimd: responds in an
articulate fashion

>> I thought I was the most deluded blogger in the world.

What exactly did I say that was talking trash? That you bubbled the points? You did. That you fold way too often. You do. Honestly dude you have problems with your self and your own confidence. Deal with your inner demons.

9:19 AM

Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

You can't really be suggesting that "fair" is someone else's entire bankroll against your entire bankroll, regardless of what those amounts are, are you?

If so, I would like to challenge Phil Ivey to a "fair" heads-up contest on full tilt one night please.

Nicely done on that post, Waffles. You did get pwned by me in the hand though. Never get tied on to top pair Jacks and a ten kicker against a preflop raiser man. Tournament poker 101.

9:29 AM

Blogger bayne_s said...


Since I know that we have played at same NLHE table in the last week I have to wonder why didn't I make fish list?

Trip in Waffles world TPTK means "Top Pair Ten Kicker"

9:58 AM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

If P@WNED is knowing exactly what you have and giving you a 10% chance to hit your hand and a 90% chance to bluff the river against me for a huge pot then good job man.

10:00 AM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Oh and yeah I do think thats fair. If I am risking everything I have online you should too.. If not then a series of any denomination value matches does the exact same thing.

10:01 AM

Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

Ok so one more time, for clarity's sake, say my roll on full tilt is $1.20 after a string of donkey plays that we all know I make regularly, and you come along with your $800 roll and I want to challenge you to a heads-up battle for poker supremacy. Then you're saying that the only "fair" way to play that out is for me to risk my $1.20 against your $800?


10:05 AM

Blogger smokkee said...

how is it i'm down -$97 in ur ptracker.

but, i'm +3.37 BB/100 ??

btw, ur the biggest MTT calling station evah.

10:12 AM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Well whats the alternative to make it equal Hoy? If you have 10K and I have $100.. you put $100 on the table.. it means nothing to you.. you can play like shit and nothing happens. Where are the equal consequences?

11:00 AM

Blogger jeciimd said...

No way Im layin' odds like that.

But a series of matches sounds fine. I propose a series of $100. buyin matchs, in each of the HORSE disciplines as well as NLH 1/2 at 100. buyin.

My apologies, but your NLH of the "25" variety doesn't do much to make it interesting for anybody.

11:15 AM

Blogger pokerpeaker said...

I got my entertainment for the day. Thanks!

12:17 PM

Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

I think it would be really interesting to see Waffles and jec go at it over a series of heads-up poker matches. FWIW I find that to be a ghey-ass way for two people to settle their bloggy differences, but if that's the decision then so be it.

Also since you asked in your last comment, Waffles, I think the only thing that is actually fair is for both people to put up the same amount of cash and then fight it out. Suggesting that one player's bankroll being bigger means that they somehow have to lay odds to even things up with the other, smaller-bankrolled player, makes no sense to me whatsoever if we're trying to determine who is the better poker player. I think it's laughable to suggest that one guy to put up his $500 and the other to put up his 2k just because their bankrolls are at different levels coming in.

If you want to be ghey and have a once-and-for-all grudge match to determine the better player, then the series of heads-up matches seems like one way to go. Although, if the $100 buyins does not work for you, Waffles, due to bankroll constraints, I don't see why the buyins couldn't be made less, if the point really is just to see who is the better player.

Another thing to keep in mind would be whether heads-up play is really what you want to test here. In other words, you could be the best hu player in the world, but kinda suck outside of the hu context. So maybe instead you could each play something like 100 hours at 100 or 200nlh cash tables with each other, and see who has won or lost more at the end of that time period. Similarly, you could track individual performances in larger mtts rather than purely heads-up contests which IMO test for a very different skill than just "who is the better overall poker player".

Let's get it on!!!

12:29 PM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Well I took the original challenge.. of Jeciimd running "so well" and "Playing a marathon".. and Surpassed him in the standings easily..

"My apologies, but your NLH of the "25" variety doesn't do much to make it interesting for anybody."

Of course not because you equate money to skill while I continue to improve myself look at my game and challenge myself. You will make a nice living pushing the nuts at 1/2 NLHE until the end of time while I will.. much as in the Blogger event, will eventually eclipse you and laugh at how you stayed stagnant at the 1/2 level.

1:23 PM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

It is amusing too how your flaunting your great 1/2 NLHE skills when nobody equates the 1/2 game as being anything better than the 25/NL game.

1:52 PM

Blogger jeciimd said...

I merely suggested 1/2 because it would allow for some play within the framework of a 100 buyin. Otherwise, I figure I'd have to wait until NEXT May for you to finish challenging yourself at the micros...and then beg one of your "backers" for the buyin.

Nice sidestep btw.

2:01 PM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Are we playing HU? Is there a deep stack HU game? Just curious as to why you chose all LHE games.. Not a problem as I am decent at most of the HORSE games but this whole thing started as a NLHE thing.

2:20 PM

Blogger jjok said...

hoy is right and waffles is right too. The risk of jecii losing the equivalent $$$ to waffles bankroll is laughable....I know because I've seen waffles' bankroll.

As an aside, mine is laughable too.

The only way that this could play out.....and quite honestly I think this should die right to play for something outside of the bankroll.

Bragging rights is worth so much more.......

And FWIW, jecii, you need to lighten up some. You're a good player, and I'm sure many agree with that. So why let this bother you?

I think anyone and everyone who is on that list, myself included, knows full well that this post is for laughs and a chance for waffles to brag a little.

A large hunk of my loss to waffles was from me pushing the hammer into him.....that was fun and kinda funny. And quite honestly, not that big of a deal. So if Waffles wants to post my negative BB/100 or total amount lost, then so be it.

2:30 PM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Wait I dont understand something.. Is Jeciimd concerned that I posted his -$209 over 250 hands of NLHE or that I said he folds to the points? Both are true mind you.. but obviously 250 hands does not make a player. I did not think ANYONE would get miffed about the PT stats.. over 250 hands bloggers are losers, big deal.. it takes tens of thousands of hands to get any kind of trend.. I would not think anyone would be so shallow as to be insulted by that screen shot.. I am amazed if anyone really is..

4:33 PM

Blogger cmitch said...

Wow- i just had to post a comment to see if we can get the comments up to 50 on this post.

Keep it up. :)

9:14 PM

Blogger smokkee said...

all i know is i've got the highest W$SD percentage

woohoo bitches!

btw, where are ur stats Wawfuls??

12:53 AM

Blogger Drizztdj said...

Bravo Waffles, take a bow :)

This is an advanced topic in the Internet Trolling 201 class.

Obviously Roshambo is the way to duel here.

7:13 AM

Blogger Veneno said...

Waffles, you're the best at getting things interesting. I'm still entertained. Thanks!

Do we get to witness this battle?

8:20 AM

Blogger Veneno said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:22 AM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Of course! I would not have it any other way Veneno.

11:30 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i rawk

1:46 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least Miami Don lost more than me. Lol.

Who's the big man now, sucka.

4:30 PM

Blogger CarmenSinCity said...

Waffles - you are so cute!!!!

I love it when people talk about how much they win and then you actually see the statistics and they are losing :)

You always know how to stir up the pot don't you??

4:41 PM

Blogger 23skidoo said...

Aww man! 19 hands dude!

5:24 PM

Blogger JL514 said...

forty two...

10:07 PM

Blogger TripJax said...


2:07 PM


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