Monday, May 14, 2007

Poker 101 By Jordon

You find pocket 8's in late position.. you raise. The flop comes A67. You:

A. Bluff off a pot bet at the flop that looks like a c-bet from a kindergartener.
B. Make a normal 3/4 pot bet and figure your beat if you get called

The turn comes a 9.. So now instead of drawing to a 5% hand I actually have 20%. Now someone cold called my bet on the flop so do I:

A. Snap off another bad bluff to over commit myself and over 3K in chips to a hand that is 20% at best.
B. Realize what any idiot would that I am beat and let it go.. and if the guy does not have something like TPTK and possibly a flush draw which would give me EVEN LESS than 20% for outs

So now you have been outplayed every street of the hand and somehow you suckout a miracle 8 for a set do you:

A. Pretend you played the hand well
B. Bluff off all of the 3K you just won ten hands later with another HORRIBLY bad play

Well it is Jordon so we know what the answer is there.. Find the fold button it is your friend. I am really sick of hearing about how bad you do online.. maybe there is a reason? Idiot.

I predict Jordon makes it no further than 25th tonight. Easy prediction because he likes to get himself in trouble with crappy play. Good luck beating 25th. If you win I will eat my words and say your the most brilliant player ever.

Now not all this fury is directed at Jordon. I outplayed him and he got lucky. I would play exactly the same next time too. Because Jordon is going to lose that hand 80% of the time and I am going to have a HUGE stack at a table full of overplaying
maniacs.

Even before the MATH started I think i cursed myself. I had been running bad.. but finally get some shit going in a Turbo SNG. I looks down and see QQ.. So I raise it up to 400.. I get 2 callers. The flop comes Q9x. I jam. TJ calls. KK calls. Bet you can GUESS the next card... yess.. it was the King.. so I go from first to worst with 5 people left and then bubble out with JJ vs KK.

Fucking poker.

***UPDATE: Shit dude. 35th? You stack me. Double up.. and can not even make it past 35th? I guess I gave you more credit than you deserve.

10 Comments:

Blogger CarmenSinCity said...

Did you book your ticket?

9:56 PM

 
Blogger meanhappyguy said...

Jordan is a luckbox, be strong, friend!

See you in Vegas!

10:37 PM

 
Blogger HighOnPoker said...

I can't wait for the full hand analysis. Woffles, there are at least two poker concepts that you just entirely ignored in the hand. On the river, I may've hit one of my 10 outs, but it was everything before the river that set up your downfall. I said it last night and I'll say it again, pay close attention, because when I'm done schooling you, maybe you can learn something new about poker so you can stop your constant cycle of luckboxing into a bankroll and then tilting it all back. You have some of the skills to play well, but until you are willing to learn from your mistakes instead of constantly attacking whoever you gift your stack to, you'll continue to be a build and bust player. Since I like you so much and don't take your smack talk seriously, I'm willing to do this service for free.

And the great difference between you out in 44th and me out in 35th is that I didn't bitch and moan when K9 hit KKx board against my 99 all-in preflop. I said, NH, and analyzed how I could avoid being in that situation to begin with. That, and I really didn't give a shit. I was playing for fun, and beating you was fun enough.

5:21 AM

 
Blogger Drizztdj said...

Waffles is what keeps poker living.

5:46 AM

 
Blogger HighOnPoker said...

When you are done reading Poker 101, the remedial class taught by Woffle, Poker 201 is up over at HoP. Enjoy!

6:48 AM

 
Blogger DuggleBogey said...

I love it when guys slowplay, then complain when their opponents don't fold.

You can't have it both ways.

7:34 AM

 
Blogger Jack Dashed said...

"Because Jordon is going to lose that hand 80% of the time and I am going to have a HUGE stack at a table full of overplaying
maniacs."

Hmm, interesting theory. How about the theory I developed in my admittedly brief poker career: at a table of maniacs it's you - trying to play solid poker - against 9 others who are doing nothing of the sort. Chances are, no matter what you hit on the flop (if anything) one of the Muppet Show did better.

At a table of maniacs I bail out and find a table where people know that, occasionally, they have to F-O-L-D.

7:53 AM

 
Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

I dont get the luxury of choosing tables in an MTT jack..

Yes Duggles, I was not ranting about my play at all. I love how the hand folded out.. I was not pleased that Jordon thought he actually played his hand correctly.. hence the gentle correction..

8:47 AM

 
Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:16 AM

 
Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

Nice rant, Waffles. You need to keep not winning in these BBT events so you do more posts like this.
I think you fell victim to fancy play syndrome here by slow playing a dubious slow-playing hand, especially in a blonkament and double-especially where you've got the guy who started the Donkeys Always Draw invititational tournaments in the hand against you. I don't think he played his hand well at all either, and in the end you did what you had to do to get it in way ahead with one card to come, but ultimately you can only blame yourself. Where do you get the idea to slow-play TPSK all the way to the river anyways? That's not like you.

1:57 PM

 

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