Friday, April 16, 2010


I find this weird thing we call emotion strange. I am not a very emotional guy aside from my poker ranting. I am not exactly sure why this is. Perhaps because I was taken from my mommy at birth and stuck in an incubator. I like this explanation as it would also explain why I love computers and am somewhat talented with them. Thank you mommy NIC981 Incubator. Love you forever! It may be just because I am a dude. Possibly my turnkey childhood with the parents. You know. Walk home from school. Open the door. Nobody there. Sit down. Watch TV. Do whatever you want. It also could be from my horrible years of school. I guess I have a lot of candidates for being fucked up.

Sometimes though I actually think I do have feelings. The other day I heard a blogger had lost his son. I really do not know him very well. He was one of the first guys I ever read but had slipped away from the poker blog. As I read this I really felt the tears well up in my eyes. I did not cry but it really struck me and made me incredibly sad.

I can not imagine what it would be like to lose a child. All the well wishing and thoughts and prayers while nice just seem like they do not even come close to helping. I hope I never have to understand what this feels like. Life just seems so unfair sometimes.

I guess I am unsure as to why I wanted to share this. It has just been on my mind and I figured I would let it out.


Blogger Josie said...

Of course you have feelings. Every time you write about your son or daughter your feelings are more apparent than all those grey hairs in your goatee.

I think stories about losing a child are the worst, they poke at hidden fears.

Turnkey childhood couldn't have fucked you up too badly, because you sound like a great father and you must've learned that somewhere. Now if only you could learn to play poker. :)

9:09 AM

Blogger BamBam said...

Emotional times are actually, pretty good for you. I need to get you into Metallica. If for nothing else, just the lyrics.

"What don't kill you, make you more strong."

4:25 PM

Blogger BigPirate said...

Metallica? Nietzsche? Whatever it takes. Having kids opens up a whole new set of fears. fantastic.

8:51 PM


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