Monday, September 27, 2010

Josie Rant

OMFG! I was like so peaceful this morning and then Josie is like "Hey I heard you were winning in Poker this weekend". Oh yeah, I was fucking winning, Until the ass hurting started again. I get great fucking hands like AK flop come AK two of my suit. I have the fucking nut AND a nut redraw and what do I do? I fucking bet it like a man! What fucking happens? Douche bag with a pair of 3's calls and what is the fucking turn card? I bet my long time readers can tell you? Cmon. Yeah. It is the ONE fucking three in the entire fucking deck that can help this douche nozzle. Fucking poker is making me sick. I get people into such goddamn ridiculous positions and they just fucking skip away with MY money. Jackasses.

The Wife was away for the entire weekend in Montreal with her boyfriend. So the Au Pair was watching the kids somewhat. I decided to do some things with them also.

My kid needs a beating now too. Oh my god. I took him and the girl to Lego Land Exposition this weekend. (Yeah fuck you word checker if I can not spell Lego! What fucking business is it of yours? Fucking cocksucking spell checker). He was bitching about how it would suck. We get there and the kids have a great time. Mostly at the inflatable obstacle course. Fuck Lego. Blow up obstacles are where it's at. Stupid fucking shit.

He goes around and gets pictures with all these life sized Lego models. I have to say I was NOT impressed. Not because the models sucked but I think all of them were glued together. I mean what kinda fucking Lego world is it when you need crazy glue? I mean are you fucking kidding me? I got the little girl a lazer keychain. Yeah, I know, I am fucking brilliant. Fucking sue me. I told her not to put it in anyone's eye. Yeah like that worked. So I took it away from her. Got the kid a pair of foam swords too. Pretty fun. Another fucking brilliant idea from me though. He is smacking everything in site. JESUS CHRIST!

Anyways it was a pretty good time. On Sunday I took the kids for haircuts. We all got one. I then dropped the girl off and took my son to the mall. He wanted to get a chin up bar. So I found the cool one where you just swing it up over any door frame and walla insta pullups. It also is good for pushups and other exercises. I get him a pair of dumbells too. He wants to get really strong so he can kick my ass. He asked for like 20 pound bells. So I am like "Ok, do 10 curls and you can get em". He is swinging his little body for all it's worth and still can not do one. So we downgrade to 5 pounders finally. I show him the right form. We hit the heavy bags a little. He so wants one. Not gonna happen. He liked the exercise bikes too. Um No.

We have a good lunch and I buy him a watch and a few books. Pretty good time. I go and watch some football. The Au Pair apparently tells him to stop doing pullups and to do his homework. He get's really furious and throws a house fan filter at her. Now this is not a heavy thing. It is small and flat but I guess he would probably be good at Frisbee because he slams her in the eye with the edge. Does anyone bother to tell me this happened? Fuck no.

I swear this Au Pair is a fucking retard. First thing I hear about it is when the wife comes in and starts yelling at the boy and takes the Au Pair to the hospital to get checked out. I mean what the fuck are you thinking? I fucking hate that mongloid bitch more and more every fucking day. I hope she does fucking decide it's too dangerous to watch the kid and goes back to her fucking ape family in Brazil. She is such a fucking idiot and a really bad Au Pair. She just like texts and plays on her computer and calls that watching the kids. Fucking retard.

I think she broke my washing machine too. Albeit this is better than the goddamn Au Pair that trashed my 40K SUV but still. I actually kind of like the old Au Pair even if she drives like a fucking 3 year old... but this one is a goddamn fucking retarded mongloid fat ass cunt licking fucktard. I swear if she goes missing it will not bother me.

See what you started Josie? Only highlight of the day? THIS. Sweet sweet irony how I love you.


Blogger Josie said...

I was jonesing for a good rant post. Actually sounds like a good weekend other than the poker....and the au pair...and the washer. lol

8:08 AM

Blogger PokahDave said...

This is a good way to start the week. Keep it up Josie!!

8:23 AM

Blogger Josie said...

Oh I can keep it up. ;)

9:00 AM

Blogger Memphis MOJO said...

I see waffles is back to normal. I was worried there for a while.

6:58 PM


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