Thursday, December 27, 2012


I feel the end of year blahs. Feeling like I am on a big down slide right now. Hence the lack of posting. I have so much to do and I keep putting it off.

One thing that sucked recently yet was good in a way is my eyes were opened to how much I really do not get people. Every day it just becomes more apparent. For instance we had a holiday party and I forced myself to go. I have not been to one in six years being here. I have now been to two in the last six months.

So I get my drink on and start talking to people. One person who I considered a friend and who I thought I talked to somewhat was like "Wow man, you never talked to me before". It was just a total perception difference. I figured saying "hi" every like four weeks and looking at her chess playing was like good interaction.. and she thought I never talked to her.

Another person I work with confirmed it too.. like "For the first few months you never talked to me".. yet, I thought I was friendly, and talking to people. Now I guess I know I am just retarded.

The interesting one was with the wife though. I went to my shrink and told her about my divorce for dummies plans and all that. She asked me "Are you sure your wife knows you want to really get divorced?". I figured we talked about it a lot and we were on the same page, and this divorce for dummies thing made it obvious I wanted to do it now. The shrink was really like "Are you sure?" and I was positive.

So somehow we got into a conversation about this at home and she was all like "Why the rush right now? I thought you wanted to stay together for the kids for the next four years?"... it just was really odd. I just never considered that I was not clear that this was not working out. So she told me she was not moving to an apartment with the kids. She would rather have a bad apartment herself and send them to boarding school... which was really weird... and then she started talking about roaches in apartments and shit like that. I am pretty sure decent apartments are clean. It just really kind of threw me for a loop.

She also talked about getting a cheaper house and me co-signing for it. I am not opposed to this if it makes it so the kids can go to the same school. I asked her to figure out how much of a budget she thought she could afford, and how much she thought she would need from me monthly to live in a cheaper house but she has not gotten back to me yet. Run the numbers. Do the math. Not sure it works out.

So anyways... been in a funk. Neither kid wants to live with me. I can not interact with people. Life is crap. Hopefully I turn things around next year.


Blogger Josie said...

1.) Congrats on an awesome week of football last week, Whore.

2.) VERY interesting about the wife but not too surprising. You do KNOW, the boarding school talk is bull shit made to elicit a reaction from you that she wants. (she's the puppeteer and you my dear, are the puppet)

3.) You need to get over the "kids dont want to live with me" bullshit. The thing is, they can't make a decision like that and it's human nature to want to be near mom at that age. It means ZILCH. I SWEAR TO GOD this is true or I wouldn't say it. Repeatedly. Until it sinks in.

4.) It seems the wifey likes things just as they are and um, could you please buy her another house? This one will be cheaper! :)

5.) I'm so sorry you're feeling down - I've been down in the dumps too.

6.) My definition of a good father is one who a.) cares about his kids as much as himself and b.) tries very hard to be a good parent. You are an EXCELLENT dad. No you aren't perfect, but no one is.

7.) Imma kick your ass on Sunday!

8.) Imma kick that brit's arse too. :) Mama's taking first place this week!

8:59 AM

Blogger sevencard2003 said...

did ur wife see my blog where i talked about numerous roaches being in the place i rented for 2 weeks in vegas? of course ill probably be gone after 2 weeks, and be homeless again, so i wont have to worry about them too long.

1:43 PM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Way to look on the good side TBC.

1:56 PM

Blogger sebszebra said...

I once knew a landlord that when the tenants complained about the cockroaches, his response was to complain that the cockroaches were not paying rent!

6:26 PM

Blogger Steve Stevens said...

One time I sat in on a job interview, maybe I asked a few questions. I had VERY little input. After the interviewee got hired, she said I was the only one that made her nervous/scared her. WTH?

It's not that you don't get people, but you're not aware of how they get you. None of us are.

Sorry about the D, but glad you have a plan and are moving forward. +1 on what Josie said.

6:30 AM


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