Weekend sucked for some reason. Got really stressed and anxious and exploded and melted down. Really needed to be alone but everyone kept making noise and I kept getting angrier and angrier. Really sucked. Took Monday off and almost stayed home today. Glad I went in though. Feeling better.
Took the dogs to my daughters lacrosse game. Felt like a dirty old man as all the little girls came up and played with my puppies. Sicko. There were a few nice MILFs too. It's nice when they bend over to pet the dogs and give you a nice view down their shirts.
Today was much better. I have a 5K (Actually 3.5 miles) this Thursday for Charity. This will be the first time I have ever run with a crowd. Not really my thing. However since my thing is not working I figured I would step outside my comfort zone and do something new.
I had been training until I got the dogs, and then it became really hard to find the time to run. My schedule was such a mess. So I spent two weeks without a single run. My longest run has been 2 miles. Tonight I needed to know if I was going to embarrass myself. So I set a goal of 4 miles. I kept tricking myself. Telling myself just one more mile.. and did the four miles. So much of running is cerebral. My muscles are like moosh right now. However I accomplished the run. I now know I can do it. My time was 1 hour for a 4 mile run and 1/2 mile walk. So I think I am around 12 minute mile which is alright. No matter what happens though I will have made my first PR in an actual race. Should be fun. Drank some protein drink tonight to try and regenerate the muscles faster. No more running until Thursday.
Have not tried any more adderral. I am considering all the options and if I want to take it or not. I have asked some friends about it. My personal doctor, Dr. McGuire thinks I should go for it. Be happy. Have fun. I am leaning towards that side. Other people have questioned if you should get happy from a pill. I understand this argument but I think I have a right to be happy for once in my life. I do not think it is weakness if that comes from a pill. This is a big change in thought for me. I will talk to my psych on July 2nd and then decide. I actually would love to talk to Miami Don also. He has dealt a lot with this kind of thing and probably has some good insight.
I will let you know how the race goes on Thursday. Until then have fun.