Sunday, July 16, 2006

How I left my pants in Icks room after the shower

I woke up Sunday morning after my nights sleep feeling horrible. My head ached, my stomach felt as if I would puke, hell even my balls hurt. I did not think I was going to make it through the day. I drank some water trying to feel a little better and then tried to figure out what to do. In my delirium I decide to give Ick a call and see if anyone has any plans. He tells me that Kitty and Jewels are going to see Ansel Adams. Afterwards it was going to be breakfast at the Bellagio buffet and poker with Don at the Red Rock. Only stupid chicks would want to do something edjumacational but the rest sounded good. I told Ick I would be up momentarily. So I grabbed my knapsack, checked out of the 13th floor, and went up to get Ick ready. Somehow he had arranged to be half naked and getting ready for a shower. I thought nothing of it at the time. As he showered I noticed that he had brought an iron to Vegas and was removing the wrinkles from his shirt. The clues were there piling up before my eyes.

We soon got going and met up with the classy ladies at the Excalibur. Jewels had the great idea of “walking” to the Bellagio. As we walked in the hundred and fifteen degree heat and my heart started beating through my chest I noticed the ground was littered by Hooker Trading Cards! Where were these when I was a little kid? I noticed that Kat and Jewels were walking ahead of me.. yipping at Icks heels like little poodles. I was left behind and totally ignored.

We finally made it back into the air conditioned paradise that was the casino. My thighs were sweating and a little chaffed but besides that I had made it in one piece. Ick peered at each photograph with a knowing glance commenting on the lighting and the use of color. Jewels and Kat oohed and ahhed at his deep insights. I personally found the little blonde with the pert tits to be the best exhibit. Of course she too shunned me as I caught her checking out Icks ass as he read one of the sayings on the wall.

Eventually we made it to the Bellagio buffet. If you do one thing while in Vegas go there. I hardly even noticed the girls fawning over Ick as I stuffed my face with Sushi, and fruit, and BACON!! It was awesome. Nothing better than eating until you want to puke! We had a great time ignoring me as I tried to get a word or two in edgewise between Ick talking about wearing bracelets on his dick and the girls ooohing and ahhhing.

I reminded Kat of her interesting time last night picking on poor little tarts. It was actually very funny. Some little kid was dressed in two strips of bright neon clothing and drunk as hell. Kat was like “Get out of my way sluts!”. I mean cmon, it was not her fault she was too drunk to walk. Just the way I like em.

I skipped the Champaign that Ick had ordered since a gnawing thought was coming into my consciousness and I did not want to be drunk with him. I had to get my clothes from his room afterward too. I was really scared. I mean lets review the facts here people. He brought an iron to Vegas, women talk to him “like a friend”, he likes art and I won’t even bring up the feathered boa I saw hanging in his shower... you decide.

After food it was off in the Don mobile to one of the best Poker rooms in Vegas IMHO, the Red Rock! I had a great time there.

Next Episode: Poker at the Red Rock


Blogger Iakaris aka I.A.K. said...

Thanks Waffles mah boy; I no longer feel bad insinuating you are a chronic masturbater in the last comment!

For the record: women like me cause they can tell A) I LOVE them, and B) I'm harmless (ie. married and appropriately frightened of my girl).

And how could you besmirch K and J like that? Shame, brotha, shame.You had better watch out, the smart money is on EITHER Kat or Jules to make hamburger meat out of you next gathering!

Also it wasn't my iron you tool - have you ever stayed in something classier than a Motel 6 before? You can find an iron in ANY room if you think to look. As for WHY i was ironing - some of us aren't into the whole Nevada serial killer look others are perfecting.

The boa...well I'll give ya the boa, no excuse there, that was kind of JohnnyCakes, but I'm comfortable with it.

Ah well. I still love ya, you ... We're roomin' together next time, right?

9:24 PM

Blogger smokkee said...

ok this Ick/Waffles thing is getting a bit disturbing. what the eff happened to all the poker content. you know, like discussing sum 2-6 and 8-high donkey hands.

10:33 PM

Blogger iamhoff said...

I'm with Smokkee, you two are starting to scare the straights.

12:08 AM

Blogger DP said...

Wow, Iak, I never knew... and I thought I was the only gay Blogger.

4:28 AM

Blogger Eric a.k.a. Bone Daddy said...

Maybe its me, but I thought this might be your best post ever. Felt Like I was there, without the pain of being there.

5:35 AM

Blogger C.L. Russo said...

The sexual tension between you two is cute, yet creepy, all at once.

6:49 AM

Blogger CarmenSinCity said...

Best line ever - Kat and Jules were yipping at Ick's feet like poodles. Now that shit is fucking hysterical.

11:01 AM

Blogger Jules said...

lol're right.

Snarling Rottweillers maybe..but Yipping poodles? Can anyone see either Kat or I as frou-frou doggies?

Waffles, you've definately gone over the edge with your obviously unreliquished lust for Iak and seriously confused the issue in regards to her Katitude-ness and I.

As Iak's commented pointed out, we will make appropriate chopped meat out of you at a later date.

1:30 PM


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