Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I give up

I cant play fucking morons. Not that I did not make a few bad calls but here was my night. I am cruising in the Mookie. Doing very well when I look down and see pocket tens. Now I raise and 23skiddoo re-raises me. I know his range is wide so I push. He would later say he thought I was bluffing. Now here is the problem with that. I agree I could be bluffing. However AJo is a shit hand and I had VERY RARELY raised the blinds. Skiddoo does not pay attention. So he calls and of course he gets lucky. You suck. MiamiDon warned me you were a fucking luckbox!

I actually had 2K left which was a deciding factor in calling him where I knew he had at least 3 outs if not 6. So I find KK a little later and MsJoanne wakes up with Aces. When she called I leaped for joy until she turned over the Aces. Again her range is wide as the grand canyon. For example I just watched her knock Hoy out with 88 vs JJ all in pre-flop. The Donkey hand she knocked me out with in the Mookie second chance was QQ vs KJ. I raised pre-flop, she re-raise, I re-re-raised. Of course her KJo was a MONSTER hand she could never fold. The flop came AKx and I knew I was beat. I was just REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF THAT THESE LUCKBOXES ALWAYS PLAY BADLY AND WIN. Yes. I will say it. You fucking suck at Poker. You can not even fucking spell the word and before you write posts about getting sucked out on fucking stop doing it to everyone else and their brother. I agree Hoy. Bad play. Of course if I did not call her all in I might have thought she had a real hand. What a fucking joke. A better line would have been to fold because I knew for sure I was beat. Oh well.

I did have one good hand against the LuckBitch. I called a small raise with 56d. The flop comes 478 giving me the nut straight. Now what did I tell Ick about how to induce a call to your massive overbet?

A. Know the person can not fold. *check*
B. Know the person has a big hand *check*

So I pushed the flop and of course she called. I will give her one tiny bit of credit in that she thought about it for most of her time. I thought for a second I mis-judged her non-ability to fold but I was wrong, I should have had faith in myself.

Now to the hand Hoy got angry about. Actually he was very happy but thats ok. He has 1K in chips vs my 3k. The flop comes 346. I flop middle pair. Hoy check-pushes. Now here was my thinking. It was by no means an instant call. I had middle pair on a semi-scary board. Perfect place for Hoy to bluff. He was low on chips. The call would not bust me. I figured a player of his merit might very well bluff on an all low card flop. Unfortionatly his rags had hit better than mine and that was that hand. No worries.

Let's talk about another fucking no-respect hand though. I swear I have no idea why everyone thinks I bluff. I play a pretty easy to read game. If I bet I have something if I do not bet I do not. However I can not tell you how often the retards claim they thought I was bluffing. I wake up with KK. Hoy had raised before me. I push. Now how the hell he called my all in push with 44 is unknown to me. He turns his 4, and I river my straight to re-suck. About as nice a call as my middle pair -- although it could be defendable if you think I have AK and you want to race. I think you just showed me no respect so I got paid.

Anyway */end[rant]/*. Tomorrow I will probably feel bad for calling MsJoanne a LuckBitch and Skiddoo whatever the fuck I called him. For tonight however it feels good. I doubt I will feel bad about calling Hoy anything. I know he can take it. The best thing about this blog is it gives me a chance to get everything out of my system all at once. If I offend you take it with a grain of salt or learn how to play poker.


Blogger Wes said...

Best post ever. I always enjoy the name calling.

9:51 PM

Blogger Iakaris aka I.A.K. said... complete me.

12:10 AM

Blogger ScottMcM said...

Man how come everytime I stop by to see see you you are being a crybaby :P

Suck it up Mary!

1:13 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Judging from the few posts I have read, I am concluding that you are new to poker, read a few books, and expect immediate riches. I'll just give you a little tip: Real players want the type of bad calls you are complaining about. They would pay double blinds for a table full of players who will call the all in bets that you describe. They also know that those players are sometimes going to hit, and they accept that as part of the game, but more often then not (whether it seems that way or not), the best hand holds up. Would you rather have every player make perfect laydowns against you? How many big pots do you think your strong hands would win you then? Further, some of your own calls are just as embarassing as the players whom you abuse. And you use the same logic they do "I thought he was bluffing".

4:35 AM

Blogger Drizztdj said...

Waffles is the John McEnroe of poker.

Can't imagine the name calling if Hoy's set of fours would have held up vs. KK.

5:04 AM

Blogger 23skidoo said...

I take any criticism from you as the deepest compliment. In fact, getting berated by players such as yourself and Don make it all the sweeter to suckout on you. TT vs AJh is less than 60%. Against a player like you I'll take those odds on my luckbox all day long. Keep flaming holmes, I love it.

5:29 AM

Blogger 23skidoo said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:30 AM

Blogger L'artiste said...


While I was thoroughly entertained by your post (Luckbitch *lol*), it seems you still don’t quite get Poker for what it really is. It’s gambling. There are no certainties and there are no guarantees in it. That anonymous post is spot on .Playing top 4 hands will not guarantee unlimited profits just like playing poorly is no guarantee of going broke. Dumb idiots lucky fucks *WILL* get lucky on occasion and suckout on you but your edge will prevail on the long term.

Think of it this way, would you enjoy Poker more if all the players were experts who always folded correctly and never paid off any of your big hands? Would you be satisfied eternally picking up blinds with your aces, kings and queens?

If that was case, I’d learn to play chess or backgammon.

5:30 AM

Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

That was fun, Waffles. I think I am not alone when I say that your admiring public misses the days of one of these posts every single day from you. In your old age you seem like you might be mellowing. Just a little bit.

Anyways I love being the subject of any portion of a Waffles rant. And frankly, I agree with almost everything you said in your post. The KJ call of your re-reraise is just about the worst thing I've ever seen. It's worse than calling when you're behind -- it's calling when she knows she is dominated and has at most a 20% chance to win. That is just not fair that people get paid off on calls like that.

I don't mind her 88 call that much vs. my JJ (I mind the suckout a bit more). I'm like you in a way -- people always put me on a wide range of hands, even though I generally play only strong hands in tournaments unless I am short stacked. So I know she figured I could have anything so she called with 8's, what she figured to be likely ahead of my wide range of hands. That makes some sense to me. It doesn't even compare to call an allin re-reraise with KJ. Sooted or otherwise!

It's the same exact story actually with my 4's against you. Of course I called the reraise there -- I was pot committed at that point, and knew when I made the initial move with the 4's that I was calling any allin reraise if it came. I figured I had a pair and there was a good chance you didn't. It's that simple. Good play and good luck for you.

I'm just glad you're back playing in these tournaments again, and doing these rant posts. And as always I loved those horrific calls you made last night. There is nothing like knowing you're out there on Waffles-tilt somewhere, but not even being able to experience it first-hand. What a night.

6:23 AM

Blogger katitude said...

take heart dear waffles, she did it to the rest of us too. Poor Fuel got killed with her 6's. Now I know how really freaking annoying it is to hear "I felt it" as a reason for calling a re-reraise.

I apologise to everyone who has ever heard it from me. :-)

6:38 AM

Blogger HighOnPoker said...

"The best thing about this blog is it gives me a chance to get everything out of my system all at once."

The worst part about this blog is that you are a big open gash. You owe me about $3 for bad beat stories.

You do realize that luck is a part of poker, right? Maybe you should take up chess, you gash.

7:02 AM

Blogger DuggleBogey said...

I am in COMPLETE agony because when you got knocked out you went all in with KK UTG on my BB. Joanned went over the top with her AA. I folded because her raise put me all in.

But if she hadn't, I was calling with my 89, and since the board came with a T67, I would have been the subject of this post, all by my lonesome!

PS. She called my 1200 PF raise (300BB) out of position with QT and hit two pair to knock me out. Well, one of the Joannes did, I forget which one.

7:08 AM

Blogger slb159 said...

You once stated verbatum:
"slb has more suckout powers than Veneno"
I'm glad I wasn't part of this post.
Just be glad you weren't criticized by a moron for making a good play...more on that later.

7:35 AM

Blogger Marxst1 said...

Waffles sucks!!!! [grabs stick and pokes him repeatedly]

8:11 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too fucking funny!

9:35 AM

Blogger cc said...

Did you get your package of swag?

11:00 AM

Anonymous mookie99 said...

Tough was nice having you back at The Mookie. Although it wasn't quite the same since you have no chat. How much longer for that ?

12:58 PM

Blogger Joanne said...

Uhm, neglected to mention our relative positions for the KJ vs. QQ (it was SB vs. BB, no? And it's called a semi bluff...ever hear of it?) and my M for the 88 vs. JJ (which was a fraction of everyone else at the table - I believe it was TWO). Both are PRETTY DAMNED IMPORTANT before calling me names, don't you think?

Don't make me out to be a fucking idiot. I'm not.

5:45 PM

Blogger smokkee said...

hey captain tilt,

i hope everyone calls my all in preflop reraise with 4-4 holding K-K

4:16 PM


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