Ode to a Smart Man
MiamiDon is a fucking brilliant man. You might never recognize it by looking at him.. he has a sort of laid back midwest kind of look that some might mistake for stupidity. He has a brilliant mind behind that look though. Why am I singing his praises today you might ask? I fell into one of his third level thinking traps. You see one of the faults my good friend has is his love of the hapless Miami Dolphins. I know we all have faults.. Pauly has his hookers and blow, I have poker.. and MiamiDon has his Dolphins. So this year has been extremely hard on my friend.
He has seen his team go down in flames thirteen times straight. One of the worst records I can remember ever. He would not stand still for this though. Oh no! He is a man of action! So in his devious mind he devised a plan so sinister a deal with the devil if you might. He would single handedly do what no one on his team could do: Make Miami win.
Now you might be asking yourselves how is this possible? Is he going to jump in and be quarterback for the Dolphins? Will he put his frumpy 240 pound frame on the offensive line? Can he rush for a thousand yards a game? No no no my friends but he has that clever mind. If you need your team to win get Waffles to bet money against them. So it came to pass that Miami was saved a 0-16 losing record all thanks to one fan who went above and beyond the call of duty. Well played my friend.. well played..