Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy Holidays

The Santa Tracking site using Google and Norad is pretty funny. You can click on videos and see where the fat man has been spotted.

I was going to kill my wife before Christmas. Omg I was so pissed last night. She calls me at work around six and asks if I can stay an extra hour so she could socialize with her friend. So I say no problem but be at the train station on time. So I get to the train at 7:30 and no wife. It is around six degrees out. I am not dressed particularly warmly. I wait an hour for her. Then I get fed up and go to McDonalds to call her. Of course the phone at the restaurant is buried in ten feet of snow. I grab a hot coco and hoof it over to the supermarket. I call her. She is like "Oops I forgot". Then she is like "Well why did you stand out in the cold so long, it is all your fault retard". Fucking drunk bitch I wanted to slap her silly. At least she was a little bit repentant today.

Hope she likes her earnings. The kids made me buy her something for Christmas. So I picked up some pearl earrings. At least I think they are pearls. They kinda look like them. Sorta. I think. Ah well. Fuck it. She better like them the kids nagged the fuck out of me for them.

We were talking about Jewish holidays today. I told JMan that he could get a gift for eight days if he celebrated Chanukah. Probably got the number wrong seeing as there is a single candle in the middle. So my wife was like "You know nothing about Jewish Holidays". I know all about Chanukah because I got gifts. So she pulls out this obscure Yon Kippur thingy. Who the hell ever heard of that? So being the fast thinker I am I say "Yon Kippoor is Jewish for When we were poor, and it celebrates dark days before the Jews got filthy rich". Am I close? She did not think so. Then she asked about Rushashana so I was like "That celebrates the great Saint Rushy Shanny who invented Mutsa Ball Soup and all the Jews rejoiced". Even though I went to Jewish camp she did not beleive me. Ah well. Perhaps I will figure out what these holidays really mean before F-Train gets a Steak or a Blowjob.

Peace out and have fun. See any of you who make the Mookie tonight. Should be a fun one.


Blogger KajaPoker said...

oy vey!!!
8 nights, middle candle to light the others - doesn't count.
yom kippur - day of attonement. jews only ask forgiveness once a year. easy.
rosh hashana - jewish new year's day.

summary of all jewish holidays:
1. they tried to kill us.
2. we won.
3. let's eat

merry christmas!

9:02 PM

Blogger The Wife said...

Good summary Kaja . . . Merry Christmas Waffles!

1:39 AM


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