Friday, January 22, 2010

Days of Our Lives

Just to fill the soap opera quota. Apparently the way the Ex-Au Pair Helen found out they were dating. POCKET DIAL! Fricken iPhone. It is not enough it make zombies but now this.

While they were in the car driving around the traitorous iPhone was reporting back to the evil Helen. She has now become the evil one. Why you might ask? I was driving in to work with my wife today and she was telling me how Nicks soon to be Ex wife was playing the whole tears card. She was saying she was so distraught and how she was going to be suicidal. Now all this from a woman who cheated on the guy and would still be with that man if he did not dump her. She was the Au Pair of her Ex-Boyfriends kids also.

Now normally I could care less about the whole situation. However the Wife expressed concern that Nick might break up with her over this. I said he would not. I still believe this. I have to for my sanity. He did however cancel a planned trip to Paris for the two of them in February.

I swear I am going to go to his house and yell at HER. I am going to be like "YOUR HUSBAND BETTER KEEP SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE OR ELSE YOU FUCKING WHORE!".

Did I cooler my easy way out? I hope not.

Cliff Notes:
Michele is my Wife soon to be Ex
Helen is our Ex-Au Pair
Helen is a casual friend of Michele
Helen is Nicks Wife soon to be Ex
Nick is Michele's boyfriend
Nick and Michele are talking about moving in together which is my key to freedom
Helen's was Au Pair to her Ex Boyfriends kids and probably broke up that marriage
Helen's meal ticket AKA Ex Boyfriend broke it off with here because it was taking to long to finalize the divorce
Chances are her Ex Boyfriend just wanted the money from her settlement to pay off his house
Helen found out Michele was dating Nick and was angry because they are "Friends"
Nick canceled trip to Paris
Nick apologize to me for Helen being a maniac and threatening to come over my house but has yet to apologize for canceling his trip to Paris
I have yet to find out if Helen would consider fucking me revenge on her Husband and my Wife
I do not fuck enough people. I am way behind average for Massachusetts.


Blogger Mike Maloney said...

Sounds to me like you have a pretty solid foundation for a sex appointment with the ex-au pair. So hows about you get on that?

7:57 AM

Blogger Bayne_S said...


8:31 AM

Blogger ScurvyDog said...

If you don't parlay this into a reality tv show called "Breakin' Even" there's no hope for you...

9:59 AM

Blogger Astin said...

Thanks for keeping the Internet entertaining! Is this the hot Au Pair?

9:59 AM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

No this is the average looking British Au Pair with the big nose. The German Au Pair was the hot one. The current one is the Nice one but she is a bit heavy.

10:04 AM

Blogger BLAARGH! said...

>>I do not fuck enough people. I am way behind average for Massachusetts.

You seem to be fucking your life up, isn't that enough?

Seriously though... that would fucking suck if they broke up, but par for the course...

11:01 AM

Blogger PokahDave said...

Good Grief!

2:05 PM

Blogger The Wife said...

Dude, we don't need reality TV - we have you!

Honestly, though, I'm sorry that all the drama is keeping you from being free to just move past it all.

9:18 PM

Blogger lightning36 said...

This all ends in a big orgy, right?

12:35 AM

Blogger William said...

How and the fuck have you not poured yourself a Highball glass full of Drano and a handful of rat poison yet I do not know.

1:16 PM


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