Why The Fuck

Why the fuck do I even play poker. Motherfucking idiot game. I have AA9J spades and the flop comes TQ8 2 spades. I get in on that flop. I mean I have an overpair to the board.. I have the nut straight. I have redraws up the wazooooooo. I expect my opponent put his full stack in with a set. We turn over. He has QT. Drawing to four outs. His other cards are 57. He has no redraws. Besides the four outs. Turn 5 spades. I now have the nut flush. River 5. I no go home and cry.