Thursday, December 16, 2010

Vegas Day Three: Never Make Eye Contact

I learned an important lesson in school. One day I was sitting at my table and eating my food. I looked up and made eye contact with a retarded person. Instantly he came over to my table and sat down and started talking to me. Food spilling out of the sides of his mouth. My friends laughing at me. I was too nice to just leave. It was the day I learned you should never make eye contact with a retarded person.

Obviously Stb never learned this lesson. After Carmen left me to the mercy of the Keno machine I got a little bored. I was expecting Iggy to show up at the hooker bar but I guess he actually played a little poker. I was walking around trying to figure out what to do. Next thing I know Stb, Pauly, Derek and their smoking hot little sis walk by. Stb stops and looks in my direction and makes eye contact! Big mistake. I go bounding up behind them and get my first "invite" to Dr. Pauly's room. I contend that Pauly invited me but he says I invited myself. Same difference right? Fuck Ya!

It was fun hanging out in the 420 room. I am normally a pretty mellow feeling person in general so adding to that feeling was interesting. Also I have to say smoking with a chest cold is really tough. It was fun having some time with Pauly. Later on Sweet Sweet Pablo showed up too. I had never really spent any time with him and it was good to get to know him a little. I anointed Pauly "You're the Pot Jesus. People just want to take your bread." as the Pot Jesus. Good times.

We finally made our way down to the IP sports book. Pablo was sweating some basketball picks. Iggy showed up a little later. I settled into the seat in front of him. Started listening to updates on the final table of the WPBT tourney. I was happy to hear that some good people like MiamiDon were deep. Next thing I know some faggot in a yellow shirt is waking me up. Oh wait. It was security. Fat black cop wanted to beat me with his stick. Who the fuck makes these stupid rules up anyways? No sleeping in the Sportsbook. sheeesh. Luckily I always hang with people who run up huge bar tabs and they were able to get me out of trouble. I was still waiting for Don or Skiddoo to show up because I had given Don my key the night before and had no way to get into the room.

Eventually they came by. News of the 6-way chop and awarding the trophy spread. MiamiDon* was the champion with a asterisk. I get that everyone was tired and I do not fault anyone for wanting to make a deal and shut down the game. It was fucking late and everyone was exhausted. I think it would have been much better to play for the trophy though. Split the money at 6 left and I bet a lot of people would loosen up and play quicker for the trophy. I am glad that Don won though. He is a good representative for the next generation of poker bloggers. Always there to lend a hand and make people feel welcome. Exactly what I think makes this group special.

I finally got the key off Don and headed to the room. Jumped in bed and lights out around 10PM. I was beat from the lack of sleep and the drugs. I was ready to sleep through the night. However it was not to be.

At around 1AM Skiddoo and Don come stumbling in drunk and noisy. I am half asleep and pose for some pictures with the Hammer Statue. Don hops in the bed and is over on the other side. No big deal. I fall back asleep for a couple hours. I then hear these wacko moans from Don's side of the bed. I roll over and try and ignore them. It was kind of creepy. Also Skiddoo is snoring like a motherfucker. If all of this is not bad enough Don starts inching closer and closer to me. I swear I thought I was gonna get it up the ass between the moaning and inching closer. It was very scary.

I survived the night with my anal virginity intact. I actually slept pretty well. I woke up pretty early but felt good. Next up Sports Betting at the Lagrasse Sports Book.


Blogger BamBam said...

But not get the hell out of the bed, "very scary?"

Now that Waffles, is VERY SCARY!


12:53 PM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Well he does have that cleft in his chin and is ohh so tall. BWAHAHAHA!

1:30 PM

Blogger 23skidoo said...

I don't snore! You were hearing yourself!!!

CAPTCHA = downs --LOL

2:36 PM

Blogger Derek McG said...

I'm glad your anal virginity is still in tact!! I bet Don would've torn you up.

Great seeing and hanging out with you!

6:59 PM


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