Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Counterpoint: The Goat is Contemptible

I would like to make a counterpoint argument to Goats Hoyazoesque post today. Not about the political stuff. Politics are a joke fostered on the poor man to enable in them a feeling of making a difference. Your choices really DO NOT matter. The part I take offense to obviously is that Hatin' is bad.

Now hate is a subject I am intimately familiar with. Having lived with it for my entire life. It all started when I was a tiny little infant in a snug and cozy womb. I think I may have been happy there although knowing me I find this hard to believe. I am sure I was complaining that it was too cramped or it smelled like tuna or something like that.

All of the sudden before my time I am whisked out of this nice comfy space and into the cold. Instead of being placed lovingly into my mothers arms I am grabbed, poked, prodded, stabbed, and slammed down into my new mommies cold mechanical womb: the Incubator. It was the beginning of a life that would always be filled with love for the glow of a CRT and a bit of awkwardness towards the water bags we call humans.

Thus began a life of hate and contempt. At first I did not know that it was right to hate. I tried. Really I did. Being a latchkey child did not help with my awkwardness. What are latchkey kids you may ask? In the time before the nanny state made it illegal it used to be common practice to give your kids the key to the house and let them watch themselves. Shocking to you kids of today. We even walked home alone from school. Sat ourselves in front of the TV and waited for mom and dad to come home and make dinner before they crashed out to sleep.

Awkwardness was somewhat tempered by growing up in the same town for the first six grades of my life. I was still shy around these fleshy things and much more comfortable with the glow of the television and later computers when they were invented. I tried to love them. I really did. I had my friend ask a girl out for me. I was too shy. Instead he lead her back to my hiding spot so she could laugh. Best friends forever.

I really discovered the love of the hate when we moved though. Until then I suppose I had some hope that hate and contempt were not necessary. All that changed when I went to a new town and started a new school in seventh grade. Needless to say I found out humans are worthy of hating. Conservatives. Liberals. All of them. I spent more years in front of the computer shooting things dead. I would see two kids kissing on the bench and the warm hate would grow up and flower. Making me feel warm inside.

I found my true calling as an equal opportunity hater. I would occasionally give in to the false dream that hating was not good. For instance getting married. We all know how this turned out.

Now we live in this age of hating is bad. It is not entirely a new concept. When Dungeons and Dragons first came out it was bad. It was corrupting the minds of our youths and causing them to kill people. Video games came out and first person shooters and these were bad. Causing kids to pick up guns and shoot people. Now hating is bad. If you say anything with an ounce of contempt, hate, or anger in it you are labeled as a freak to society and need to be locked up.

I have to tell you that the haters are good. The ones who get it out of their systems. Shout it from the rooftops. Head shot that guy in Modern Warfare. Those are the guys who are normal and right and do not scare me. The ones who are not afraid to call someone a fucking retard if they deserve it. The ones who tell Josie her retarded play fucking sucked and she should get some lessons. People who are not afraid to give it to you straight.

The ones that scare me are the ones who bottle it all up. The ones who tell you that contempt begets anger which begets violence. Fuck that. People are worthy of your contempt. If you bottle it all up and do not share the hate then you will be the one who explodes one day. The ones who drink the magic potion and believe life is all love, peace and harmony. The day will come when you realize that those things are just a dark facade and once you realize the falseness of this fantasy land dream you are the ones who break down in full mental collapse. The ones who go out on shooting sprees and cause havoc.

If you just embraced your inner hate and shared it then and only then would the world be a better place. I imagine a world of hate where everyone is like me. We walk down the street and greet one another "Hey fucktard watch where your walking!" "Fuck you slowpoke!".. and we move on to the next person to hate. A giant cloud of flowing hatred. "Hey you two get a fucking room!" "Fuck you bitch, you wish you could get this pussy!". The truth spoken from everyone's lips.

A blissful world of hate. Is it too much to ask for? Probably. Until then you will just have to stick with your old friend Waffles. Show me some hate. Make me believe in a better world.


Blogger Josie said...

I think it's kinda funny that the guy who hates so much ends every post with the word "peace". Ironic, no?

10:35 AM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Hate is peace baby! Hate is peace.

10:38 AM

Blogger Easycure said...

Here are my two cents.

Waffles, I'm going to teach you a new word. It's the word "forgive".

I'll use it in a sentence.

Waffles, I forgive you for being such a hatin' douchewagon.



11:23 AM

Blogger HighOnPoker said...

"I am sure I was complaining that it was too cramped or it smelled like tuna or something like that."


11:25 AM

Blogger Heffmike said...

But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression... ...Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will...

Darth Waff.

12:25 PM

Blogger Julius_Goat said...

Hate leads to anger,
Anger leads to concern,
Concern leads to hunger,
Hunger leads to lunch,
Lunch leads to Taco Bell,
Taco Bell leads to hate.

I love you, Waffles.

5:51 AM

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

I can not eat at Taco Bell since a friend told me a story of a chick who always had cuts on her hands who handled the raw meat at Taco Bell.

6:25 AM

Blogger Buffalo66 said...

Reading this, I think you just told me you want to go back into your mother's womb. In a Neo/Matrix kind of way, of course.

Otherwise, that would be gross.

9:24 AM

Blogger smokkee said...

Taco Bell has got to be the worst fast food ever.

lard burrito with fritos anyone?

12:07 AM


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