Didn't mean it my ass. What she stumbled walking up the courthouse steps and the papers flew out of her hand? This is now adversarial. I know you hate that but you didn't bring it on. You have 3 things to think about now.
Protecting yourself Protecting your assets Protecting your relationship with your son.
The rest is meaningless, it's nothing and it will pass.
GET A LAWYER. Do not trust her to do right by you. Let your lawyer handle everything. Let him handle any contact with her.
You started finally coming out of your funk and took an interest in things, especially finances. I am willing to be there are shenanigans in there she wants to hide. So she files. Then boo hoo, "I didn't mean it." Yeah right. Don't be confrontational with her, that's not your style. Just get a lawyer and every time she brings something up, refer her to the lawyer. Use him. Tell her, "My lawyer doesn't want me talking about that without him present."
She knows your strengths and weaknesses. She probably hoped that filing would put you back in a funk. Don't let it. Only you can control how you're feeling. If she controls your feelings, she wins.
Keep it business like. She is gonna pull all kinds of shit to piss you off. Just let your lawyer handle it and take good notes. Everytime she screws you over on something, note it. And listen to your lawyer.
I'm taking it she filed for divorce. Believe me, it ain't as bad as you might think especially when the choice is living with abitch. As the others said, get a lawyer. They soak you but without one you could end up being drowned. Hell, my ex and I had nothing between us when she filed and she still tried to take what little I did have. I was lucky tho becase PA rules on support and alimony are set according to a formula based on what both parties earn and alimony is considered a way to a new start not a lifetime obligation so I can't claim I got raked over the coals. Don't know what it is like in your state.
You at least have a good relationship with your kids so all you have to make sure of is that you get enough time to spend with them in the custodial agreement. I got divorced when my daughter was only 1 so I had to build my relationship with her from scratch while being away from her. I also goofed in not fighting for more time with her but I was being very conciliatory and non confrontational rather than dragging things out and having my daughter witness us fighting. It's worked out well for us tho given the limitations. (BTW, ixnay on the au pair and German Shepherd stories for awhile, they won't help your case)
Whatever you do don't let it or her rattle your cage. I let my ex dictate to me a lot early on especially when it came to issues about my daughter. Then one day I had enough, told her forget it and that she filed on me so as far as I was concerned I didn't have to listen to her anymore. Think it shocked her and was best thing I ever did, we get along much better. Maybe if I did it sooner things might have progressed differently. So you might want to try to balls up and tell her how things are going to be, might improve things since she is used to pushing you around and playing head games. Hell, they can't get any worse. Good luck.
12 Comments:
Stay calm. Get a lawyer.
-DrC
9:29 AM
I am going to assume red face and blue hands is not the right way to do this "stay calm" shit...
9:45 AM
..the problem with ADHD which I am sure I have is that your mind never stops...
9:47 AM
Stay strong Waffles and yeah get a lawyer.
11:59 AM
Tell them you didn't know he was only 14 years old ...
1:27 PM
And oh yeah -- heart attacks are overrated.
1:28 PM
If a pussy like you can survive one I am home free..
1:29 PM
dude - like the kidney stone, this too shall pass. Though in the immediate short term it'll hurt like the devil himself is ass-fucking you.
Don't let this small act get you. You're Waffles, for fuck's sake.
3:19 PM
Didn't mean it my ass. What she stumbled walking up the courthouse steps and the papers flew out of her hand? This is now adversarial. I know you hate that but you didn't bring it on. You have 3 things to think about now.
Protecting yourself
Protecting your assets
Protecting your relationship with your son.
The rest is meaningless, it's nothing and it will pass.
GET A LAWYER. Do not trust her to do right by you. Let your lawyer handle everything. Let him handle any contact with her.
You started finally coming out of your funk and took an interest in things, especially finances. I am willing to be there are shenanigans in there she wants to hide. So she files. Then boo hoo, "I didn't mean it." Yeah right. Don't be confrontational with her, that's not your style. Just get a lawyer and every time she brings something up, refer her to the lawyer. Use him. Tell her, "My lawyer doesn't want me talking about that without him present."
She knows your strengths and weaknesses. She probably hoped that filing would put you back in a funk. Don't let it. Only you can control how you're feeling. If she controls your feelings, she wins.
Keep it business like. She is gonna pull all kinds of shit to piss you off. Just let your lawyer handle it and take good notes. Everytime she screws you over on something, note it. And listen to your lawyer.
7:10 PM
WHAT NEO SAID!!!!!
Also, say the word and I beat the shit out of her. Anyone think I'm kidding? I'm not.
11:18 PM
listen to neophyte
12:21 AM
I'm taking it she filed for divorce. Believe me, it ain't as bad as you might think especially when the choice is living with abitch. As the others said, get a lawyer. They soak you but without one you could end up being drowned. Hell, my ex and I had nothing between us when she filed and she still tried to take what little I did have. I was lucky tho becase PA rules on support and alimony are set according to a formula based on what both parties earn and alimony is considered a way to a new start not a lifetime obligation so I can't claim I got raked over the coals. Don't know what it is like in your state.
You at least have a good relationship with your kids so all you have to make sure of is that you get enough time to spend with them in the custodial agreement. I got divorced when my daughter was only 1 so I had to build my relationship with her from scratch while being away from her. I also goofed in not fighting for more time with her but I was being very conciliatory and non confrontational rather than dragging things out and having my daughter witness us fighting. It's worked out well for us tho given the limitations. (BTW, ixnay on the au pair and German Shepherd stories for awhile, they won't help your case)
Whatever you do don't let it or her rattle your cage. I let my ex dictate to me a lot early on especially when it came to issues about my daughter. Then one day I had enough, told her forget it and that she filed on me so as far as I was concerned I didn't have to listen to her anymore. Think it shocked her and was best thing I ever did, we get along much better. Maybe if I did it sooner things might have progressed differently. So you might want to try to balls up and tell her how things are going to be, might improve things since she is used to pushing you around and playing head games. Hell, they can't get any worse. Good luck.
9:43 AM
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