Wednesday, January 03, 2007

My First Time

No this is not a story of my virgin escapades ala Theresa. If you have not read her blog please do. She is a fine writer and I can tell everything she puts down on her blog really comes from her heart. Besides I have a soft spot for hot female bloggers. Well Hot females. Well females.

I decided I needed a change of Venue so switched funds over to Riverstars. I played a little 2-7TD. For those of you who have not played this game it is somewhat fun. You basically have to get a low, without a straight, or a flush, and Aces are high. I read the Marge Primer on TD and was ready to roll. Honestly I can see where this game could be more infuriating than Razz.. Hence I love it! I think over time a skilled player could beat an unskilled player but like Razz the donkeys will have their day. I really need more in depth strategy as I do not know when to stop drawing and just give it up. I lost one buyin but it took me over five hour so I think that is a positive session.

I was taking a crap last night and had a bit of a scare. I ran out of toilet paper.. so I see that we have these pledge wipe things and figure what the hell? It can not hurt right? So I use one of those.. well six hours of burning pain and a trip to the ER later I found out this is NOT a good idea.. Ok.. Ok.. That one is NOT a true story.. but I have considered it. I just did not want to tempt fate.

Here is a good true story.. My car is getting old. Old like me. It has seen 160L+ miles and it now has new features the car designer had not envisioned.

1. The Magic Car Radio. It decides on one channel and does not let you pick any other ones. It also randomly decides to shut off and turn back on as you hit the break or slow down. It especially likes to shut off in the middle of breaking news stories.

2. The 1000 finger massager. Oh yeah. It is my favorite feature. If I get the car going over 60MPH the car starts shaking. Badly. Like imaging sitting in one of those massage chairs in the mall and turning it on full. Somehow it is less relaxing.

3. The amazing deflatable tires. I usually lose air in the front right tire once every few weeks. Lucky for me I have a tire inflater. So I just whip it out and blow the sucker back up. I guess maybe I should attach the inflater to the car permanently and drive around and when I need air turn it on.

I think I need a new car.

Also on the age front I find myself acting more like people I disdained prior to getting old. Like for instance I always hated the guys like Smokkee and Don who would call chicks by some slang term like Babe, Honey, Sweetheart, Baby Cakes.. whatever.. cmon, you dont think that Smokee didnt go up to that bar the first time he met Elfie and say "Hey Baby Cakes, Wanna come home and see my salami!". I guarantee it. However as I get older I find I enjoy it. Perhaps I am becoming a condescending prick or something.. I really do not mean anything by it.. but calling some chick Hottie and having her say "Hey Baby Whats up" is somehow fulfilling in old age. Ahh well. Live. Learn. Adapt.

One last thing.. In order to get DuggleBugger to not quit his blog in disgust I have made a tribute site. It will replace his blog should he ever decide to quit. You have been warned.


Blogger DuggleBogey said...

Yah, last year, in November.

Nice one.

11:26 AM

Blogger smokkee said...

funny you mention that Woffles.

the night i met Elf in vegas we partied at "Babys" night club at Hard Rock Hotel. it's since been replaced by another club. obv a line like "hey baby wanna party at Baby's?" isn't gonna fly with a sophisticated hottie such as Elf.

i think the hook i used was "let me know when you're finished with that beer so i can buy you anotha".

the rest is history.

11:36 AM

Blogger Love_elf said...

Ya - we met at ESPN Zone @ NYNY. I was there watching the OSU vs. Michigan game. He SWORE he was an Ohio State fan.

And the bluffing has ever stopped....

6:25 PM

Blogger Drizztdj said...

Did you try the big bet TD tables, or limit?

There's definitely some money to be made there.

5:57 AM


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