Friday, June 19, 2009

Personal Trainer

So apparently Jocream (Spelling probably wrong why can't you have a normal name like Paco) AKA The Rooster has taken me under his wing and is pushing me to get into shape so I can score some babes in bars or something. In addition Instant Tragedy's loss of 90% of his body weight has actually inspired me to start exercising. Also the fact that my wife has gotten sexy skinny fucking pisses me off to no end.

It is probably The Rooster cawing at me every day about taking a walk and getting some sneakers that is helping the most. As an aside I actually would like to try out a pair of these babies. Feel free to comment on which color you like if you are a hot babe with some fashion sense. If I did not list you do not worry there is plenty of Waffles to go around. Ahh yeah!

I appreciate the bird man helping me out. If you have never met him you might think he comes across as a sleaze bag. A leisure suit Larry type who needs a shave scoping out the skanks at the hooker bar. Ok. Possibly he is. He is also a really stand up guy and I appreciate him pushing me to be all I can be or some sort of corny shit like that. Appreciate the push man!!!

I have been doing my walks for the past few days. I have some reservations since reading that the inventory of jogging actually died.. of a heart attack.. It is true people.

Yesterday I got in a five mile walk. I am shooting for one mile a day. My cunt of a soon to be EX wife "forgot" to pick me up at the train station so I had to hoof it home. Albeit she may not be a cunt but I was a little pissed. The walk did feel pretty good though.

Today I took a walk at work. I found out that 20 blocks equals a mile. I thought it would be easy to map out a mile route around my building. However it alludes me how to figure out what a block is. I mean each section is different. In the front of buildings there are two small sections divided by an alley. Is each small section a block? Are the two sections combined a block? To further complicate matters the sides of the buildings consist of these very long sections. So do they count as 2 blocks? 3 blocks? 1 block (Jesus please no!).

Ah but walking brought back some great memories of one of my favorite bloggers. We had such good times with my thighs sweating and chaffing didn't we? Ah the memories of Vegas. I also figured out that eating chili and walking equals heart burn. Fuck that sucks.

I will also probably go Ghey like Astin and start cooking some healthier meals. My current eating habits are horrid. I usually skip breakfast except for a coke. Lunch tends to be an overeating fiasco since the lunch room stuffs your plate miles high and I was taught to eat everything or else I could not leave the table!! Night time eating could be anything from a bag of popcorn, to Fridays Buffalo wings, weight watchers TV dinner.. last night I got home so late I ate a package of Swiss cheese for dinner.

The final thing I will need to throw in is some weight lifting to help in the burning of some calories. I plan on doing light lifting like three days a week eventually. Just quick workout to the chest and arms. I did this before I met the wife and got into decent shape. Perhaps I should consult Badblood in this endeavor.

So I guess I have found a little bit of motivation. I am fixing up the downstairs room so I have a place of my own while I am stuck in the house. I am trying not to tackle too much too fast as that usually leads to burnout. I currently weight around 190 possibly a bit less. I am shooting for 170 as an initial goal and then possibly 150 as a final goal. I am 5"7 so I do not think that is a horrible weight to shoot for. We shall see how it goes.


Blogger Schaubs said...



Show that skinny wife of yours what's she'll be missin'!!

4:22 PM

Blogger Riggstad said...

almost brought a tear to my eye fag

7:43 PM

Blogger DrChako said...

I'm doing the same thing. I put on 30# since I got back from Iraq. Now when I run I'll be thinking, "If Waffles can do it, so can I!"


9:37 AM

Blogger Iak said...

Good Luck buddy.

If I can offer a suggestion:
Lose Fat Forever! is a great, very simple book with a good exercise and an excellent nutrition section.

I train at the authors' gym and since Nov08 am down 45 lbs and 18%body fat. Only three workouts a week and you don't hit too much cardio. If I can do it, from a high of 244lbs, I'm willing to bet you can too. Email me and I'll mail you a copy of the book.

7:07 PM

Blogger pokerpeaker said...

Glad to see you shaving the moss from your ass and getting moving. Good for you. Keep it up.

5:33 PM

Blogger The Wife said...

Good luck!

9:33 PM

Blogger CarmenSinCity said...

Hey! I need to contact the guy that pays us our Full Tilt ad money every month. I am changing the name on my Full Tilt account and I want him to send my money to my new account. Do you still have his e-mail address? If so, send it to me at

Thanks baby!

8:05 AM

Blogger Drizztdj said...

I suggest group aerobic classes at a gym.

Best way to get the workout you need and stay motivated.

I'll give 3-1 odds to you in Vegas in December for an arm wrestling contest as something else to shoot for.

10:48 AM


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