Thursday, October 07, 2010

Are you Smarter than a 12yr old?

If your my wife then probably not. I was at work the other day and the wife sent an email asking what time I was going running. The boy had mentioned that he wanted to go with me. So I tell her when we are going running and get no response back except that it is going to be late and he has homework and things to do.

I get home and all of the sudden he is too tired to go running but the wife is taking him out to Friendlies. Um. yeah. Whatever. I asked him if he really wanted to go or not as we were tossing a few football passes around and he was springing around at top speed. Tiredly of course. He said no, he did not want to go.. I think he really just did not want to cause problems with his mom.

Anyhow that was fine. I went for my run. It started out rough and I was feeling sore.. Hit the groove in the middle of my mile and a half and it felt alright. I was not as into the run as I have been.

I get home. Fire up the Warcraft upstairs. Turn on some TV. The kids come home. I keep playing but I talk with them. I hear about mom looking at houses. Even a house she could afford. Sounds good to me. Kids are kind of excited. However nothing is going to happen right away so she probably should have kept it to herself.

The girl goes to bed. I tell her goodnight and all. The boy and I are talking. He is watching Football. 'Bama vs something or other. He likes college football way more than I do. I am playing some more Warcraft while I chat with him. So the wife comes out and she is like "Why are you upstairs? It distracts JMan from getting ready for bed.".. I say I want to spend time with him and stuff. She is like "Well your not spending time with him playing a game".. Yet we were talking and having a good time and doing our own things too.. She is always telling me it's important to just be around the kids in the same physical space for the past few years. How I am a horrible dad because I am always downstairs. She then has the balls to say "Well why do you want to be upstairs now? You have not been upstairs for the past twelve years".. besides the slight exaggeration I start to explain how I am feeling better with the running and the boy blurts out "He is upstairs because he is not depressed anymore and wants to be with us kids". Exactly. Now I would not say I am totally not depressed but I am well back into functioning land.

It's was pretty heart warming to know the kid realizes that I am trying and I am getting my shit together. It is also pathetic that it makes the wife so jealous. She is all pissed off all the time because I am upstairs and spend time with the kids. She does EVERYTHING she can to ruin it. After years of complaining about it she is now jealous and can not stand that I am making a good relationship with the kids. Everything she does shows this. Stealing him away from the run to go to Friendlies, fucking up my weekend plans, trying to banish me to the basement... she is just so pathetic it is not even funny.

The best part though is I can piss her off by just doing what's right. Just keep on loving my kids and being better for them. Keep taking them out and being a good dad. It drives her nuts. Peace.


Blogger Josie said...

Funny how your son hit the nail right on the head. Smart kid. Glad you aren't letting her stop you from enjoying your children.

7:17 AM

Blogger alexandra said...

Your wife sounds retarded.
Glad to hear about dads doing the "right" thing. :)

8:09 AM

Blogger DuggleBogey said...

I don' think this is some kind of sudden reversal in her behavior.

It's doubtful that you pulled back from the family and became a basement recluse purely by your own will. I'm sure she had some influence. While she probably said outwardly she wanted you to be more participatory with the family, her actions and attitude likely drove you away from them.

Now that you are acting more upon your own will and have removed some of her influence she is unhappy because she is not getting what she wants, which is exclusive control over the children and by extension her own life.

I would say the best thing you could do for yourself and your children is to remove her influence (and her presence) from your life entirely. It is obviously destructive to you both short and long term.

You obviously desire a relationship with your children and that requires some sort of relationship with their mother. But you should do what you can to minimize your relationship with her in order to maximize your relationship with them.

8:53 AM

Blogger Mary said...

Curious, does she read your blog?

10:25 AM

Blogger lightning36 said...

Mary's back!

btw, I am not familiar with the statutes in your area, but I am pretty sure that this post and others like it would help substantiate premeditation.

10:37 AM

Blogger Josie said...

+1 for alexandra..."your wife sounds retarded"

11:22 AM

Blogger HighOnPoker said...

This might be a stupid question, but have you tried talking to the wife about this shit when things are calm? She sounds like a shrew, but she's probably acting that way because she is a jealous pig. At times like that, she likely won't be thinking straight, but if you can sit down with her when things are calm and talk about these things (your efforts to get your life together, your desire to spend more time with the kids, your concerns about them), perhaps it'll get through to her.

1:02 PM

Blogger Wolfshead said...

You sure you ain't married to my ex wife?

7:06 PM


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