Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Intrusive Thoughts

I was reading up on the Wiki about Intrusive thoughts. yeah, yeah, everyone thinks Waffles is dumb but I fucking learn things every day of my life. Pansy ass readers.

It was kind of interesting to read. I often have thoughts about things I would never consider doing in real life. I think I probably have a little OCD or ADHD because I do dwell on them a little bit.. not to the point where they become obsessive (yet) but just a normal kind of way as stated in the second paragraph.

I figure you have not had your normal quotient of Waffles shock lately so I will share with you an intrusive thought I have had a few times recently.

It starts with my old Au Pair walking somewhere in the dark. I slide up behind her and knock her out with chloroform. She awakens in an abandoned steel building. Nobody is around for miles enabling her to scream as much as she wants... or as much as I want. She is tied down to the floor doggy style totally naked.

I start telling her that she should never have messed with me. She is a fat, pig, whore and I was going to make her pay. Her last days are going to be extremely painful and at the end she will be broken.

I proceed to bring in a large German Sheppard (I just realized she is German so maybe this is why I chose the breed?) who is in heat. I allow the dog to rape her over the next few days telling her what a dirty whore she is, how she loves it, how she wants to suck the dogs dick. I torture her with knives and water torture. I break her down over and over until she will do whatever I tell her to.

I then get her to beg to suck the dogs cock while I record it on her video phone. I tell her I am going to send it to her parents so they know what a dirty fucking whore she really is. At this point she does not care. She just wants to die. After she films her last moments of oral with the dog, being the magnanimous, human being that I am, I grant her this wish and slit her throat.

I send her phone with the movie off to her parents. Days later when the police question me they have no proof that I did anything. I get away free and clear.

See I used to think I was a sick fuck, but the internet tells me I am normal. Peace.


Blogger Pauly said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:20 PM

Blogger Pauly said...

Stylistically, this is leaps and bounds over your usual pedantic rants. But... that doesn't mean you're NOT one sick puppy.

1:21 PM

Blogger lightning36 said...

Uh ... I'm sorry for anything I said that ever might have offended you ...

1:31 PM

Blogger DuggleBogey said...

At first I thought this was some sort of prank to try to shed readers...

But then I started to wonder about the "Intrusive Thoughts" you've had about me.

Now I'm scared.

1:41 PM

Blogger DrChako said...

I had the thought that the reason you were banned by the Au Pair service was because somehow they found your blog. Perhaps this post is a test to see if that's true.

If so, I will not be visiting you in prison. But I will toast in your general direction.


2:21 PM

Blogger Josie said...

Jeezus, how bout I let you win the football pool so you don't get mad at me, okay?

*backing away slowly*

3:16 PM

Blogger Unknown said...

nice ..
can you add my site to your blogroll :)
admin of

6:59 PM

Blogger ScurvyDog said...

B+ as is, but if at the end you add the infamous WafflesPorn photo of you sitting shirtless in the chair that grade would rocket up to A+.

2:36 AM

Blogger ScurvyDog said...

Wow, it's even the first result in a Google Images search for "Waffles porn"

2:39 AM

Blogger Anthony Chan said...

I think I saw this on NBC last night.

9:15 AM

Blogger PokahDave said...

Good Gravy!

12:55 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I call bullshit.

You tried to fuck her, or got caught sniffing her '"lightly soiled" panties and she rightfully complained.

Good luck with your new Au pair, a lady boy named Butch. Can't wait to hear about him/her.

1:05 PM


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