Oops, I did it again!
Well I hate to say this but you all deserve the truth from me: I blew my bankroll again! You know the old story. I started on a small downturn to around 2200 and decided to really screw-up. The old tendencies came back and before I knew it I was out. Well, not totally. I think I have 50 bucks to rebuild with. I did take out some money before the crash too. Not nearly enough though.
If you want to hear the play by play as I am sure you do here is the basics. I was down to about 2200 around 12AM. I decided to stay up and play through it and kept going down more and more. I then make the great decision to try higher levels to get back to a decent number faster. Things were not happening fast enough I suppose. So the end of the story after a 30 hour binge that included skipping a day of work I ended up with $50+ left and very disappointed in myself. Oh well.
There were plenty of times I could have stopped myself probably. I was down to 1K, brought it back to 2200 and could have left. I probably should have stopped at 500 left. At least I would have enough to start rebuilding. I let my inpatients get the best of me though and blew that too.
At least I was good at something for a period of time. I have not decided if I am going to try and rebuild the bankroll or not. I am not sure if I want to. I think maybe I was playing too much and ignoring other things. I tended to play every night. The shine was wearing off too. Even before I did this I think I was getting a little disenchanted with Poker. Probably why I gravitated to the short tables. More action. Less waiting. Less real Poker. I am not so great with keeping with hobbies and this might go into the pile of things that are exciting for a while. The game is called the GRIND because that’s just what you do. You grind out a small win, lose a little, grind some more, and eventually over the long-time you can be very successful. It gets a little old sometimes. It is exciting sometimes. I think I might be back again. I almost got up at 4AM this morning and hit the tables again. After I crashed at 6PM last night I only slept until then.
Either way I have a lot of decisions to make. If I do decide to grind it back up to 3K and beyond I need to figure out how. I am not too keen on putting more money in. So the choices are pretty slim. Try and grind out some more buffer room at .50/1, with a high chance of busting out. Try some ½ 6 sided. Do some 5/1 SNGs or 10/1 to get some breathing room. Give it up. Not sure what choice I will make.
So for the weekend I think I will wallow in self-pity, smack myself a few times, and spend very little time playing Poker, or none actually. We will see about the comeback trail later on.
I do want to thank everyone for all the support they have given. I have always enjoyed the community we have here. It is definitely the best part of the grind. If this ends up being the end of my Poker career, well, there are worse things in life. I am sure I can find other ways to financial freedom. The money was still in chips so that part does not bother me that much. It is the stupidity part that hurts the most. So if this is my tombstone than let the epitaph read “Be Patient”, or else perhaps “I’ll be back”.