Thursday, January 17, 2008

Dr. Pauly the Hollywood Producer

Dearest Dr. Pauly,

I write to you on behalf of my nine year old son. Apparently as I gushed about you like a school girl and told him what a great writer you are he got it into his head that you could help him. He decided that you were the worlds greatest publisher and movie producer on the planet and were looking for young talented writers to make rich and famous. Unfortunately he mentioned this to his school friends and they all now have plans of being rich and famous.

I have enclosed one of his preliminary script/stories for you review. He expects you to send your limousine to pick him up in Massachusetts and fly him in your private jet to Hollywood. There you can pay him a trillion dollars for the rights to his story. We can work out the little details once we arrive.

I look forward to seeing you again as always. All right are reserved on the enclosed script. Names changed below to protect the innocent.

Your Friend Always,

Dragon Slayers and the Angry Villagers Versus the Charlyaters and Ja and M

J and A heard about a war and it was about the angry villagers and the Charlyaters but the angry villagers had to fight to keep their lands. Then they signed up for the war. The day of the war they got ready with their armor because they heard they had dragons. When the war began A and J had to fight a dragon. The biggest dragon they had ever seen. But then A got hurt and J called Ja and Ja took A away from the war. Then J killed some Charlyaters but then one of the Charlyaters was going to chop off his head but then J dogged it and J chopped off his head.

J was guided by a flying dragon that was on his side. That was the first dragon that was on his side. Then he flew to the king and started shooting at the king but then the dragon got shot. The dragon falls to the ground but then out of the sky Ja and A came out with a dragon and J started fighting too. Then J went to the kings castle. The brave dragon slayer found out that M was hostage. The king was going to stake her.

J stepped forward and said “Mighty king you can't take our land”. Then there were two guards next to the king. Ja finished off the two guards by throwing a knife in to their heart and J finished off the king by throwing a knife into his heart and J pulled out his heart and it was a dried up old one because he was already dead. And then he went to the king but to get there he had to climb over all the dead people.

Out of the blue they couldn’t believe their eyes J said “I thought we killed the king” and Ja said “I thought I did too. I took out his head.” Then they went to kill the ice dragon but it shot A in the heart but Ja carried her away to the hospital. The ice dragon got hit in the heart and carried away the queen.

J went up to the dragons cave and slayed the dragon. He went to the dragon’s cave and saved the queen. He got a silver chalice but A got the gold one.


Blogger Dr. Pauly said...

Nice. Tell MiniWaffles that I will publish his piece in Truckin' next month.

3:57 PM

Blogger Bloody P said...

Damn...I wish I could write like that.

5:02 PM

Blogger Bloody P said...

P.S. If I see that in next month's Truckin', Pauly will be my new hero.

Hands down.

5:03 PM

Blogger OhCaptain said...

Great story MiniWaffles!

OhKid1 likes to write stories too. Her's are usually about princesses and cute puppies.

Go figure.

I was spellbound by the whole dragon thing. Nice Job!

8:12 PM

Blogger $mokkee said...

"did you see me lay down the law!!

I am the lawgivah!"

8:59 PM

Blogger BamBam said...

Without exception, one of the finest posts ever on this here site!
(non-rant of course!)

Good seein' ya last night Waffles.

6:19 AM

Blogger Astin said...

Let's see. I think there was 1 spelling mistake in the whole thing, unless they WERE dogging things. That automatically makes it a better English composition than anything previously written here.

I second Bloody's hero worship of Pauly if it makes it to Truckin'.

7:09 AM

Blogger DuggleBogey said...

At first I was thinking "You don't have to make up a 9-yr-old, just write your story Waffles."

But then I saw the grammar and spelling and realized, no way this was written by Waffles.

Good story!

7:51 AM

Blogger StB said...

Mini waffle? Doesn't that make him an Eggo?

10:00 AM

Blogger JL514 said...

I want to be staked by a king :(

9:38 AM


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