Saturday, April 05, 2008

Out with People

So today I actually went outside. I figured I would do something a little different. I first went and tried to return some games we bought at Hollywood Video. The fucktard at the counter tells me I can not return it. They must put it in a machine and fix it. I ask if it will work for sure and he says he is not positive. I told him I would be very angry if I had to make a second trip back. You would not like me when I am angry.

SO my second mission there was to get the kiddo some Mario Brother's fighting game with the refund from the other two games. Now since I could not get a refund that was not happening.. but I am a softy so I decide to get him a game anyways. I figure I will go to Gamestop and see what they have. They really have a terrible selection especially for Nintendo Game Cube which is what the boy has right now. So I call him up and tell him that the store does not have the game and I do not think it is for the Gamecube anyway and he goes ballistic on me. Fucking little ingrate. Seriously I love the kid but he does not have a clue how good he has it. So I tell him I will take him tomorrow. Of course his idiot mom takes him out as soon as I get home. She fucking ruins them so bad. Oh well.

On a side note I think when the Gamestop guy said "Giigle pop is way overpowered dude, you should not get Meele".. It was pretty gayyy.. and I should have stormed out right there.

SO I go and get my hair cut. I think they girl who did my hair was an idiot but she had big boobs so that helped. She was pretty hot but did not use it to get a good tip. The hairdressers that I will tip good are the ones who rub there cunts up on you when cutting.. and stick there tits in your face. Now those are the professionals.

After that I continue my hunt for the illusive and highly dangerous elliptical trainer. I have been searching for one for around four months but have not been able to find it. It has hidden itself deep in the jungle. So I get to the local Sears and try one out. After about 1 minute of ellipations I look down at the heart monitor and it reads 144!!! I think I was having a heart attack at this time. So I stop and massage my aching thigh musclesflab and check out the next machine. Now this one I know will kill me. It has BLACKJACK. You have to keep moving to play though. If you stop the game is over. If you keep going your life is over. Hard choice. Scary.

Finally I get out of there with a few picks in hand. I am trying to decide between a nice model like this Nordic Track for like eight bills or something from like Proform like this for like three bills. I do like the fact that the bigger ones have built in programs but is that worth five hundred? Not sure.

One last thing. I have to say I will NOT be buying my machine from Sears. I found the sales staff to be totally uninterested in talking to me and pretty fucking retarded. I am used to this from women but not from sales people. Screw you dickhead. I do not dress up for my cushy day job no fucking way am I going to put on a suit so you will sell me a machine. You can suck my ass.

I left the Sears and this beautiful Israeli woman comes up to me and grabs both my hands and starts stroking them. She purrs "Your hands are soooo soft.. are you an artist?".. As Kat always tells me, "Your hands are freakishly soft". I quickly check my wallet to make sure it is still there and reply "No, Programmer". She continues to stroke me as she leads me over to this small out of the way cart and she asks if I know why my nails are ridged. She tells me it is because I do not moisturize my nails. I reply, coyly, "I thought it was because I ate them". She then gets a giant block and starts polishing one nail. It really sorta creeped me out. She stopped and asked if it hurt. Normally I would think that would be the man's question but I told her no.. it was just kinda weird feeling. She finished up by moisturizing my cuticle.
When she asked if my wife was around it kind of broke the mood. So I decided not to buy any softening supplies from her. I did get a free moisture pack which I promptly gave to the wife as a gift! BOOM! So now I am walking around like a freak with one polished nail. Freaky.

Anyway all of this has confirmed to me that socializing with humanity is not a good idea. I shall try not to do it very often. Until later.


Blogger Neilc999 said...

hey sirF, whens your next tourny on full tilt i want a stab at one with the bloggers before i go broke. Later dude

6:59 PM

Blogger katitude said...

Dude, for the fourth time, I said your hands are CREEPILY soft.

7:23 PM

Blogger Bloody P said...

Have I lately...that I love you? Have I there's no one else with creepy soft hands?

7:28 PM

Blogger KajaPoker said...

big mystery there. Israeli woman at the mall = works at one of the mid-aisle booths. Israelis rule the mall booth business.

and even bigger mystery solved. creepy soft hands, not from moisturizing your nails i'm sure, if you know what I mean. nudge nudge, wink wink.

say no more!

8:48 PM

Blogger Matt said...

I have Call Center Hands, and I haven't worked in a call center in almost 3 years.

I wonder which are softer?

10:06 PM

Blogger CarmenSinCity said...

Ummmmmmm - well - are you actually going to use these machines? Cause they are all a waste of money if you aren't going to use it. Otherwise, maybe start off with the cheaper one and then if you use it a lot and you really like it, then after a while sell it and get the nicer one.

Are you really going to use it????? I probably wouldn't.

10:02 AM


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