Monday, December 13, 2004

Day Two: Trains, Planes or Automobiles

Like a man dieing in the desert of drought I seek to quench my thirst in the sweeeeet pool that is Online Poker. Still I hold on. Still I persevere. Ok, So it is not that bad. What did I do tonight instead of Poker? I had an interview with a recruiting company. My current company renews my contract on a quarterly basis pretty much the day before it is up. It is kind of annoying. So I thought I would open up some more contacts in case they decided not to renew.

I had a really hard decision to make tonight. How to get to Sesame Street, Boston MA. There were a few options none of which were very appealing.

Car: I hate driving. In Boston. Especially at night. Especially when it is raining. I am not a particularly good driver and driving make’s me insane. Especially in Boston where cars are flying at you from all directions. Throw in a bunch of traffic and it really sucks. You might think a city like Boston would have more than one road going through it. Bah! Idiots! Do not even getting me started on the suicidal pedestrians. Duh, cars are flying at me, maybe I will step out into the street. Thank God for the Darwin awards!

Taxi: Now this could be a good solution. It would cost me a lot of money, but what the hell, now that I am not losing at poker I have plenty. I then got to thinking. What about those gypsy taxi drivers. You know who I mean. The guys who are too chicken to get illegal police lights and stop motorists, so they get fake taxi cab signs and pretend to be real cabs. As your asking them why Haymarket Square looks like a park in the middle of nowhere, they ass-rape you until you bleed, and instead of giving you twenty bucks and telling you what a good time they had, they steal your wallet if your lucky, and your identity if your not. Really not a pleasant idea. Sounds kind of like Poker though.

Train: Ahh yes, the sweet smell of piss in the afternoon. Nothing like it. The train might be the least of all evils but it still sucks. Most of the time it is crowded with people you do not want to be around. It is also surrounded by people you would not be around. I am talking about the bums, gangstahs, hookers, and assorted weirdo’s. Not to mention the piss, poop, birds, rats, and other assorted things you need to step through. On the plus side if your lucky you might be crowded into a train and forced to grind up against a cutie. Ahh the sweet smell of her hair. Mmm. However your more likely to be lip locking with some retard on his way to the funny farm. All this talk about the train gave me a great idea for a new kids toy: Drunken Santa! Complete with Real Puking Action!

I think I should just stay home.


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