Thursday, December 14, 2006

Betting the Losers With Don or I should have went with the Ravens!

SO I finally got a few hours sleep in Vegas and was bright eyed and bushy tailed when MiamiDon was ready to go to the office. Now when I first heard that I was going to the sports book with Don I was less than excited. I mean what fun could that be? A bunch of old guys writing numbers on scraps of paper and hoping that their SS check does not go up in flames. Boring. Was I ever wrong!

See sports betting has nothing to do with sports or betting. Nope. It is all about picking a team that the rest of the sports book does not pick and rubbing it in their faces when your team wins. It is macho. It is wild. It is awesome!

We got to the sports book and Don sets up his office in the back. Basically the Red Rock's sports book looks like a library. You have your little desk with short dividers separating. Your nice library chair. If it was not for the three jumbo screens in front you might think you should be studying algebra. In addition to those screens every cubicle has it's own TV set.

Pretty soon Don's coworkers come in and they start talking shop. They talk about the hair brained ways they bet: "Yeah, if the last time it was an over, then the next time I bet the under". How they did on yesterdays college games and who they are picking today.

I decide I need to put a little money on something so I pick the suckers game to end all suckers game: The five team parlay. You basically only have to pick five bets correctly and you win 23 to 1. Nice odds. So I decide to slap a twenty down. I ask Don for his picks and finally come up with the following card:

NE vs Miami (Under 42 Points)
Bungles vs Oakland (Bungles)
Iggles vs Washington (Iggles)
Colts vs Jacksonville (Jacksonville)
Houston vs Vince Young (Houston)

Now I asked Don why he liked Houston so much! He LOVED Houston. He thought that they were going to kick some ass. You sure I mean the Titans have been on a run? His confidence convinced me that I should go with Houston instead of lets sayyy... Carmen's favorite Ravens. The reason I was thinking Ravens is because they were rested and needed this game. I thought they would win. However I went with Don and some crazy Chinese man. I put twenty bucks down for a shot at $480. I was rolling.

After I finished booking my bet I went and grabbed breakfast at the Red Rock. mmmmm. mmmmm.

The festivities started out most excellent. Indy starts by driving and the whole sports book erupts with cheers and yelling... until Jacksonville runs the ball down their throats. All of a sudden you can hear nothing at all... Except the entire back row. Don's team! Screaming and yelling! PAIIIII GOWWWWWWWWW! WOOOOT! YAAAAAAAAA! We were fucking owning baby! The four of us who picked the underdogs were owning the place. There is something entirely satisfying about being the only few people to have picked correctly.. and rubbing it in to the extreme.

So the games continued.. the hot waitresses kept coming by.. My teams went up and down. At one point I had every bet winning and it was looking really good for me. My throat was soar from yelling PAIIII GOWWWWWWWWWWWWW! The games started winding down and I found myself with a ticket that had four winners on it. I also found myself going into overtime with the Houston vs Titans game tied. WOW! I had a nice little $480 score just begging to happen. Of course I got one outered on the river when Houston for some inexplicable reason decides to blitz Vince Young on 3rd and 19. I saw the whole defense split to both sides of Vince and knew it was over as he stepped up in the pocket and ran for the winning touchdown. So close yet again. So close. I will say I did get at least twenty bucks worth of entertainment if not more. I signed up with BoDog to try some sports betting too. I will let you know how that goes.

The rest of the day was spent at the MGM losing a buyin at poker and having dinner with Weak. If you ever have the misfortune of serving him you best hurry up. heh. Before I knew it I was heading for my plane and fighting through the fucked up lines of America West. The automatic check-in was down so I had to go through the full baggage check-in and it was messy.

I hit the redeye out of Vegas and tried to get some sleep. It is really hard to sleep in the isle seat. I finally pulled down the food tray and slumped over that. This turned out to be a big mistake as my fat gut and intestines were squished up into my waist and I woke up in a ton of pain wanting to puke.

It was a total blast.. even better than the last time I went. I spent less time playing poker and more time hanging out with old friends and new. Financially it was a weekend of what could have been but emotionally it was a big boost. I have a ton of memories that will stay with me forever. I loved spilling beer down Kats shirt and meeting the Scary Lady. Gambling with Don. Meeting new bloggers and old. Seeing everyone again. As I am sitting in my depends and eating cat food while the orderly at the nursing home abuses me because he can not get a date since he smells like old people I will remember these moments. In the end really all we have left is our memories. Thank you all for sharing some with me.


Blogger cc said...


Now, there's a comment for you! BTW, regarding the aisle seat/redeye, can you say upgrade? I'm cursed with the ability to sleep on any plane at any time, and I fell asleep before the plane lifted.

10:05 AM


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