Acursed

I swear I am cursed among men. I got going early Saturday to implement my plans. I get to the post office. Get my PO box. Head off to the bank. I get there and it turns out that someone has an account at the bank I chose with my SSN number! I mean what the fuck? What are the goddamn odds of that? Nobody every fucking believes that goddamn odds do not apply to me. Whatever the fuck can go wrong does. I head home to get the SSN card and I fucking starting a wracking, shaking, fevered attack. So here I am dying under my covers starving to death and downing multiple bottles of Gatorade without needing to pee hoping to hell I do not die of dehydration. FML.