Sunday, September 27, 2015


Life is funny. I get divorced and everyone says sorry, but I am like fuck ya! I get a "promotion" at work, and everyone says fuck ya! I am like noooooooo! Things have been a little busy and crazy. Instead of posting the next Okie Vegas entry... I will give you some insanity... The other day my car got towed and I got a little angry... I mean why should I know when a stupid, not great, football team is playing? This has been building up from promotion, plumbers leaving shit and whatever sewer shit in my sink after it being broken for a month, and other things... So I bring you various texts to my friends ...

First when I was towed:
I'ts War Time!
Last straw car towed because of BC game
They will have no more football!
I'm past my psycho point.
It's on!
I can't even get ahold of anyone, fuck it I'll break it out and run over the entire football team
I'm gonna hunt down the guys who did our sink too
I'm gonna steal a back hoe and dig up the entire field until it's a pit or they shoot me
We need media attention about this bullshit!
I'm gonna make my car like Road Warrior, BOOOM!!!
Watch the BC game I am gonna kneecap the QB
Fucking Cock Rags tow my car!
How the fuck am I supposed to know when a division 6 team plays?

Then I had to take the train to get the car:
Fucking gotta deal with Red Sox fans on the train too.
Fucking tools
Fucking work promotion
Gotta fucking clean shit filled sink
Fucking cock rags
Fucking annoying week
Gotta walk down 93 or some shit
Prolly 200 bucks (ended up 180, 105 for tow plus 75 ticket)
Fucking dude with herp bumping me in train
Least the crowds are gone
Fucking gay Asians doing stupid shit (passed some crowded Asian fair, hate crowds)
Black guy made me pay homeless buck to not rape me with his homeless cock (Gave a homeless guy a dollar)
Extortion I say!
Prolly get gang raped at Pine Street woman's shelter
Now Google wants to murder me, making me walk on the highway
Fucking Skynet
Fucking 180 bucks for not knowing BC doesn't suck
I am gonna steal a back hoe and dig a fucking giant hole
I am wiring C4 like Mad Max
BOOM! Collect insurance. Much easier!
Now I have to walk through homeless killers on the highway to get my car back
I don't even know where gps is taking me, probably a CIA trap!
Those homeless chicks at the shelter were looking at me like "It tastes like chicken"

After I "calmed down":
I am going to War with BC!
They will pay!
I will make BC degrees so worthless they will suck homeless cock and towel the sperm off with their degree!
When I am finished their degrees will be used to towel off homeless spuge!
I am getting a V for Vendette costume, and a hoodie, and a hockey stick!
I am going to do a YouTube rant show dressed as V with a hoodie and a hockey stick, and overthrow society so that BC degrees will be worthless!

Despite all the rage I am still just a rat in a cage!

I like to get all my rage out in one shot.. imagine if I kept it in.. THAT would be dangerous..

Sunday, September 06, 2015

Okie-Vegas A Rednecks Tale – Part 2 – What can I say

The thing about OkieVegas and why I started with the cast and crew is because it really is about the people. When I first arrived there I was all like “Hey I am Waffles, let me shake your hand”.. and not one single person allowed that. Not even the hot chicks. As my arm reached out for a shake, it was like a nerd high five.. where you miss... but better. Each person dodged the awkward handshaked, slipped off to the side and embraced me in a warm and loving hug. I am going to work up to a nice ass slap next year. I have no idea if this is just the famous Sawwwtherrrnnn Hosspitality we all hear about (doubt it) or just a great bunch of guys and girls who have bonded in a very special way. These bonds started as a mutual love for poker but have grown to be something so much more. For lack of a better work we can call it “The Brudderfly Effect”.

This is why I really do not have a great and detailed trip report like I normally do in Vegas. I can however share a few funny things that happened and hopefully let you know Waffles is still large and in charge.

The weekend started with the awesome OSU driving 1.5 hours to pick my ass up at the airport. He brought the tragedy with him and it could have been some serious tragedy. The guys come with this sack of meat and jello shots. I quickly find out there are many prop bets going on. The first one was
“How long till Waffles says he would bang Janet”.. now anyone who knows me should know this was an easy bet. It got out of the way quickly. The next bet was slightly more shall we say dangerous and iffy... “Can Waffles drink 11 jello shots without puking before we get to the house”. One hour and a half to go through 11 shots that Jo created. High butane shots! We stopped off at the local quicky mart and I wisely got a Gatorade.

Now to be fair Tragedy told me there were only 8 shots. So I started downing them all.. There was the cherry shot.. which had a cherry in the middle.. I had to use the tongue to good use. Ahhh yeahhh ladies! After that one there was one.. just one.. that tasted so bad it was forever more named the “Shit shot”.. I went too far past the cherry and hit the backdoor apparently. The shots were going down fast. I was eating ribs and drinking Gatorade so I would not get sick. If you know me well then you KNOW I get drunk on two beers... so massive amounts of alcohol probably is not a good idea. I started slowing down around 8 shots. It was then that I found out that there were actually 11 shots. I call fowl! I had like 10-15 minutes to finish. Now at this point I can neither confirm or deny that any tom foolery happened to allow Tragedy to lose the bet. However.. he should not have told me there were only eight!!!

Prop bets would be a big theme of the weekend, and alcohol, prop bets and alcohol. Almost as scary as lions, tigers, and bears. Oh my! I arrived at Okie Vegas and received all the warm welcomes detailed above. We drank peach moonshine slushies and apple cider moonshine and the official beer of Okie Vegas all night long. EazyCure and I closed down the night chatting and drinking till 2AM. Really great guy. I almost got to stay up later but BamBam was a little too slow and missed us both.

The next day was the tournament where the winner was the guy who deserved to win.

Friday, September 04, 2015

Okie-Vegas A Rednecks Tale – Part 1 – The Cast

The royal family – holding court over Okie-Vegas for the past 10 years.

Gary – Gcox – Cox

Gary is always great fun to hand out with. I think when they invented the word “Good-Ole-Boy” they fashioned it after him. He sat in the Captain’s chair, surrounded by all of us schlubs and a fortress of Keystone Light cans and just ruled the court, not with fear or intimidation, but with a great smile and some really cool stories. It was fun to finally meet Brown Dawg one of the best chocolate labs ever!
It just really speaks to Gary’s character that he opens up his house to over 15 people and puts them up for 3-4 days. He feeds them until they puke from too much food. He liquors them up till the puke in dizzy awesomeness (No puking this year so that was cool too!). He just loves to share his life with his friends be it golfing, hunting, fishing, or just shooting the shit. Really great guy to be around.

Sean – Tragedy – Donahue

Sean is always an inspiring person to be around. He always thinks about other people and what they need before himself. Sometimes he seems a little sappy, but when you really listen to him you can learn a hell of a lot about life. He has one of the best hearts of anyone I know. Just knowing some of what he went through with his divorce.. and then seeing how he was willing to open his heart up again to potential (not gonna happen) heartbreak and pain after that just shows what a loving person he is. Personally I am NEVER getting married again but it was great to see how happy he is with Jo.

Shawn – Orange is the New Black (OSU) – Sparks

Sean was awesome this weekend. He made MULTIPLE 1.5 hours trips from Okie-Vegas central to pick up people at the airport, myself included (twice, will get to that story later). He let me stay at his beautiful house all day Monday while I waited for my flight. Shawn is one of the guys who I have played more Poker with than just sat down and talked. It was cool to see how much he loves and defends his friends. I also was impressed by how industrious he is. He has a zillion things going on. You might hear his southern drawl and figure he just hangs out and lets life happen.. but he is driven to succeed. It was great to be able to eat at his fine dining establishment and get a little more insight about the man.

The Queen Bee’s, proving Bloggers marry WAYYY up.

Carrie – Queen Bee - Cox

I did not get to spend as much time with Carrie as I wish I could. I did spend some time at her card table.. and I was fortunate enough to be knocked out by her too.. She took my Patriot’s bounty! She has to be a special person to allow all of Gary’s weird poker buddies swarm her house for Okie-Vegas! Her hospitality was awesome and the food was great! Mucho thanks to you Carrie!

Lisa – Not a Chance Waffles – Sparks

It was great to hang out with Lisa over the weekend. She always is quick with a gusty laugh and a quick hug. She is also gorgeous which does not hurt. I had no idea that Shawn and Lisa were my age. I have no idea what I did wrong in this aging thing but those two look 10-20 years younger than their actual ages. I had a great time drinking and chatting with her. On my bonus Monday I got to hang out with her a little bit too before she dropped me off at the airport. I always knew she was attractive and friendly – but I never realized how smart she really is. Whatever direction her life ends up taking her I am sure she will be successful. She also has great taste in movies. Shawn you better go see Rocky Horror Picture Show – worst case, you hate it, and you get to throw toilet paper and shaving cream!

Jo – Obey Me Tragedy – Donahue

I did not get as much time to chat with Jo but man is she a strong woman. I do not mean that she can bench press Tragedy’s weight.. but strong in herself and knowing what she wants and going after it. She is the nicest person in the world but she also respects you – and herself - enough to tell you what she thinks. Some people might think that is abrasive or forward but I think it is awesome! I can see how happy she has made Sean and anyone who does that has to be a special person. Hopefully next year we get some more one-on-one time.

The Rest of the Court

Michael – The closer (EasyCure) – Preedin

First I have to say – I am sooooo sorry I put the Waffles cooler on you. The first day I arrived at Okie-Vegas I stated out loud (that really was my only sound level at that point in the night) that I thought Michael had the best chance to win the whole thing. This had to be the kiss of death for him. I said this though because I had played online against him A LOT and respected his game. Not that other people had sucky games – it was just his seemed to make the most sense to me.
One of the best parts of Okie-Vegas this year was to get to know the man behind the cards a lot better. It is kind of funny because on the surface of things we do not have all that much in common. We have different political, religious, and marriage views (I am totally against and he just got married! Gratz!). However we were the ones who bookended the days in Okie-Vegas. We were last ones to bed (except one time when we woke up Bam, then went to bed before he came out, and then he sat out there alone cursing us! Heh). I am not even sure what we talked about.. pretty much everything. I really had a great time hanging out with him. Despite all our differences we had no problem having intelligent conversations (well, the booze might have hurt that) and having a great time no matter what we talked about. The fact so many people who are so different can come together and be brothers is one of the great things about Okie-Vegas.

Mark – Bam Bam - Remon

Bam is a really great guy.. So laid back and Canadian ehh? The guy just came off pulling a one outer on death himself .. and yet he drives a zillion miles from Canada to hang out with his friends, drink, and have fun! Him and Pebs just live life with gusto and do the things they want. They were saying that their preferred mode of travel is to not make any reservations because they might see that “Have to stay” place on the way! I always enjoy my times with the bammer!

Karen – Pebbles - Remon

Karen is friggen awesome! I mean I knew that before this weekend.. but her prop bets make me look like a Church going saint. Hahaha! Loved hanging out with you Pebs! If you were my wingman I would get laid every night! You rock so much! Keep living life your way and keep loving Bam and showing the rest of us how it’s done! You inspire everyone!

Kari – Dr. Kay – Kirkhart

I did not really get to talk to Kari all that much. Sort of my track record with hot blondes I guess. However I was very impressed at how much she cares about people. She works as a chiropractor (I am pretty sure) and what does she do after traveling all the way to Okie-Vegas for a little R&R? She does free chiropractic work on people! I saw many a shoulder, back, or knee healed under her expert hands… She did some crazy voodoo on Jo, but I am pretty sure it’s like all science and shit, I am seriously fascinated! It’s great to see a smart, beautiful, and empathetic person who puts other people first. I hope she finds all the happiness she deserves.

Kristen – Never Stop Me – Weber

I did not get to spend a whole lot of time chatting with Kristen either but the one thing I took away about her is that if she wants something she will go after it full force until she gets it or dies! You rock Kristen!

Daren – I’m Getting Married – Miller

Sorry about the nickname, I am running out! Daren is Kristen’s Fiancé. He was the perfect addition to Okie-Vegas. Not that I know what it was like before.. but he just fit in really well. He was really nice and fun to talk to and hang out with. You can tell him and Kristen have a lot of fun together. I wish them the best in their life together. It’s really great to see someone who loves his family so much and just feels like he belongs in Okie-Vegas! Hope to hang out some more next year.

Bill Bartlebaugh and Diane Lockwood – The Authentic Rednecks

You gotta throw a few in there! Heh. Bill and Diane were really fun, down to earth people. Enjoyed the little time I got to spend with them. Diane took all my cash game monies! I hear she can hunt with the best of them too! Enjoyed the little time I was able to chat with Bill too!

Janet – Firecracker - Craddock

Janet was super awesome. She runs the official Okie-Vegas bar. Tragedy had a prop bet as to if I would say something to the effect of “I’d hit that”.. during the drive to Gary’s house..Of COURSE Tragedy won THAT bet.. I mean that was a total non-brainer. I do not think he meant it in a bad way, but somehow I got the impression that Janet was some old, bent over, hag that ran the bar and smacked people with her paddle. Nothing could be further from the truth. She has like 1000x the energy of any 18yr old I know.. and she is a great looking woman! Her bar is so cool.. it is covered with the history of her and her customers having fun. She runs the bar the way she wants. If you do not like it your out. If she decides to close the bar it closes. If she wants to give out some drinks she does. She is the god queen of the bar… and if it’s your birthday she destroys your ass with her paddle.. she even broke one on someone!!! Janet is just a fucking cool person.


This was the crew for the 2015 edition of Okie-Vegas.. the first one I have ever attended. Hugs and a welcome feeling was everywhere. Food. Drink. Fun! Things I get very little of at times were the norm of the day! Midwestern or blogger hospitality at it’s best! I had the greatest time. Not sure if I am going to write up the actual weekend.. I might throw together a few paragraphs.. but it is really the people that make Okie-Vegas!

Thursday, September 03, 2015


I got a few posts coming your way. I know I do not post all that often. I do not feel the need as much I guess.. the muse hits me every once in a while.

As far as life goes, the Divorce is almost final. The Ex and I are getting along fairly well.. I have decided not to sweat the small stuff. My son and I are closer than ever. He is driving now and I helped by letting him drive my car around. He got his junior operator license a few weeks ago.. and for now I am lending him my car Fri-Mon.  We also have seen like every movie out this summer. We are going away for the weekend in a few to catch giant fish on a great lake with my buddy. Last time he caught a 25 pounder and I got a 30 pound Salmon.

I feel a little bit like my daughter gets the shaft a bit.. but we see each other a lot. She also texts me and follows my Facebook (erm, that may not be good). She wants to be a vet so I am taking her to an exhibit where you diagnose a turtle this weekend.

I see the kids officially once a week usually on the weekend.. but we have been hanging out more than that. I think the visits with specific activities and a duration are good for me. I have really bad ADHD and also I tend to be introverted... so too much time around even the people I love the most in life can become frustrating to me... but spending quality time is perfect. I hope the kids agree. It does seem like things are getting better with them.

Work is pretty awesome too. I took a job in the next state over because I REALLY liked the guy who hired me. He did not even ask me a single technical question.. which is how I knew he knew his shit. Read the book blink and you will understand. He loves my work. He was promoted to director so that bodes well for me. Also the tech lead is leaving so maybe... The job lets me work from home 2 days a week, and I stay in a hotel 2 nights with the slight bump in raise I got going here.. so it all works out well.

I am currently living with a roomate.. not that I have to, but because it worked out that way. He is a marine and .. well.. marine's can DRINK. The guy is actually extremely smart and a really nice guy. It's probably good for me to have some human interaction outside of work too.

Also if you can not tell from the title.. I went to Okie-Vegas.. and erm, I am going to put up a couple posts about it. Mostly about the people because that is what Okie-Vegas is all about.. and then a bit about the day.. and then I may disappear again for a few months.. who knows.. at least you get a little bit of Waffles and who doesn't want that.