Friday, September 30, 2011


Good news. Not sure how sure of a thing Acquisition Agreements are. Perhaps a lawyer (not you scumbag Hoyazo) could chime in. I think it basically means that if the DOJ will let it happen all Americans and other Full Tilt players will be getting their money back.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

And the Picks Are..

I found this week to be a little tough as teams who suck play each other.. Never can count on suck teams.. also some of my picks are contrary to popular opinion. Oh well. Some teams are going to be challenged here too like the Texans. I think the Steelers and Texans is going to be a hard fought game and show where the Texans are going to go this year. I also picked against the Eagles because they have been just horrible. I am not very confident in this pick though.

Here we go with the picks.

Winners in order of confidence of pick:


On my Football picks. If you remember last week Josie was ridiculous in her picks and now has an 8 point deficit to make up. This week has some really tough matchups to pick.. either because two total losers are playing or two pretty evenly matched teams. It is going to be a good one. Picks later today or tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


I am training to be a monk. I am done with chicks and all sins of the flesh. It is a work in progress obviously. I keep trying. I go for like a week without any sex then I breakdown and can not resist. On the good side when I give in it is like a fucking geyser of cum. I mean I hit the fucking ceiling with that shit. You know how hard it is to get cum out of stucco? Peace.

Josie is a losing

Josie lost with a piddly 91 points to my less than stellar 99 points. So currently I am ahead in our competition by 8 points. She thinks that she made too many off picks.. I think her problem was more with her ranking on some gimme games. Like Green Bay for 6. I had Green Bay as my 15 pointer. It was a total gimme game. If she ranked it higher then we may have tied again... Actually if you look at the final score she won MORE GAMES than I did.. with an 11 to 9 win.. but I nailed my top 4 with easy picks and she missed TWO of her top FOUR picks. Just bad choices when there were MUCH better picks for the top. I even had the insight to put NE down at my 5th pick. Saving myself some bad point loss.

On a side note I was very angry that my team lost. It really killed me. Especially how the game began and how close we were to pulling it out. Buffalo is a team to watch. Not sure I buy that they are an awesome team - because when you have to come back from HUGE deficits every week... well, that is not going to work all the time. You can not deny they have a high power offense and a defense that makes plays when they need it.

Miami fucked me too. I really though those morons were going to pull it off.. but they found a way to lose. Smack some sense into them MiamiDon! Peace.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Football Picks

For those following Josie and I tied to the penny last week. I did my counts and trusted her with hers. I figure she is an accountant so probably does it faster and better than I do. So the current score is zero-zero. Yeah, I like scoring the glass half empty.

For this weekend I am putting up a little commentary about each game. Picks are in bold. Obviously you need to see my brilliance in action in order to get a feel for my picks.

NE Patriots at Buffalo BillsI have to give the Bills credit. They are actually scoring up a storm this year and figuring out how to win games. I have to go with the hot hand though. Until the Patriots lose I am sticking with them. I see the Patriots as a beatable team because of their Defense but it should not happen often until the playoffs.

49'ers at the BunglesWhat can I say. The Bungles have earned their name year after year be it from drug arrests, stupidity, or what not. I feel kinda sorry for Iggy. I think they get their asses handed to them this week.

Dolphin's at BrownsThis is an interesting matchup of two teams that I think pretty much suck. Miami has some potential and who knows about the brownies. I am going to pick Miami to eek out their first victory of the year here.

Broncos AT TitansI may be getting high off the coolaide from the Titan's win last week.. but I have watched the Bronco's and am under impressed. I see the Titans winning this week. If nothing else home field advantage will give this one to the Titan's.

Lion's AT VikingsWhat can I say? The Vikings are such a fucking sad sack team. It was fun when the Wife and Drizzt had a nice competition going but now the Viking's would have trouble beating a pop warner team. Lion's take this easy. I am not ready to proclaim Detriot good yet but this week should be easy for them.

Texan's AT SaintsWOW! This will be the game of the week to watch. I am going to give the nod to the Saints as they are the team to beat but I have been incredibly impressed by the Texan's. Hell I might change my pick by the time I finish this post.

Giant's at EaglesThis is a risky game. If Vick plays I think the Eagles have enough to beat the Giants. I have not been impressed by either team. I give the nod to the Eagles. Might be because I like them more. Who knows.

Jaguar's at Panther'sI always get confused about who the good team is supposed to be. I think it is the Jags. So unfair putting both teams up against each other to confuse me. I will take the Jags here though. Ok. I changed my mind. Everyone in the world thinks the Panthers are best and the Jaguar's have a brand new sparkly QB so I will go Panther's.

NY Jets AT OaklandI hate to say this but I choose the Jets. The team has found a way to win every game they have played so far. I think they are for real. Oakland is iffy in my opinion.

Raven's AT Ram'sThe Ram's are in for an ass beating. The Raven's are pissed. I feel sorry for the Ram's.

KC at ChargersChargers are a much better team. KC sucks.

Green Bay at Chicago.The Bears are a much improved team. I would even say a pretty good team. However they are not even in the same league as the Packers. Easy pick here.

Cardinal's AT SeahawksDamn first they give me two cat teams then two bird teams. What the fuck? Guess I will go Cardinal's since they have more wins. Really have not seen these teams play this year.

Falcon's at BucksI think I will take TB at home here. I like a good defensive team.

Steeler's at ColtsBlahaahahahaha Colt's you suck!

Redskin's AT DallasNormally I would look at this game and say Dallas rules, Redskin's drools. However I am not liking anything I see out of Dallas and hesitantly I am choosing the Redskin's here.

TLDR; for Josie with the confidence points I am assigning each team:

Steeler's 16
GB 15
Chargers's 14
Raven's 13
NE 12
Lion's 11
Titan's 10
Saint's 9
Cardinal's 7
49'ers 6
Dolphin's 5
Panther's 4
Eagles 3
TB 2
Skins 1

Thursday, September 22, 2011


Hmm.. We may be able to get paid after all. I have never heard of subject:poker before so have no idea as to the validity of the posting.. for all I know Howard bought a web domain and posted that shit... If it turns out to be true though it would be welcome news.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Intrusive Thoughts

I was reading up on the Wiki about Intrusive thoughts. yeah, yeah, everyone thinks Waffles is dumb but I fucking learn things every day of my life. Pansy ass readers.

It was kind of interesting to read. I often have thoughts about things I would never consider doing in real life. I think I probably have a little OCD or ADHD because I do dwell on them a little bit.. not to the point where they become obsessive (yet) but just a normal kind of way as stated in the second paragraph.

I figure you have not had your normal quotient of Waffles shock lately so I will share with you an intrusive thought I have had a few times recently.

It starts with my old Au Pair walking somewhere in the dark. I slide up behind her and knock her out with chloroform. She awakens in an abandoned steel building. Nobody is around for miles enabling her to scream as much as she wants... or as much as I want. She is tied down to the floor doggy style totally naked.

I start telling her that she should never have messed with me. She is a fat, pig, whore and I was going to make her pay. Her last days are going to be extremely painful and at the end she will be broken.

I proceed to bring in a large German Sheppard (I just realized she is German so maybe this is why I chose the breed?) who is in heat. I allow the dog to rape her over the next few days telling her what a dirty whore she is, how she loves it, how she wants to suck the dogs dick. I torture her with knives and water torture. I break her down over and over until she will do whatever I tell her to.

I then get her to beg to suck the dogs cock while I record it on her video phone. I tell her I am going to send it to her parents so they know what a dirty fucking whore she really is. At this point she does not care. She just wants to die. After she films her last moments of oral with the dog, being the magnanimous, human being that I am, I grant her this wish and slit her throat.

I send her phone with the movie off to her parents. Days later when the police question me they have no proof that I did anything. I get away free and clear.

See I used to think I was a sick fuck, but the internet tells me I am normal. Peace.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


Apparently the Au Pair complained about us for some reason so we are now banned from the program. LOL. Fucking idiots. Fucking declare war on Waffles? I will ass fuck your skulls.

I am going to send a letter to my congressmen as soon as I figure out who they are. I am going to complain that the Au Pair place is using fake tactics to bring people into the US on student visa's, then not requiring them to take courses, and also stealing jobs that good American's could use and which they want. I have no faith in our Government but when you throw around some key words like "stealing American's jobs" you could possibly get some reaction.

I think I am also going to look up immigration laws and see if I can get the bitch thrown out of the country. The whole process is so not legal. Hell if this works then maybe I will even vote someday.

Monday, September 19, 2011


First off the football picks. Did pretty well. Went 12 for 15 with one game left tonight. Josie also did well.. just not as well.. She is BEHIND me by 7 points. Funny enough we both have points on the Giant's. I have one and she has 8... so if the Giants win we are dead even... if not then I keep my lead. I love having a little something on every game. It makes it so much more interesting. I also enjoyed watching the Red Zone as long as my team was not on the main channel... then it was annoying that I missed my teams plays. I would have had a commanding lead on Josie if the Eagles did not blow it in the end. Friggen choke artists. Shows me not to bet high on those loser. Actually the Eagles are my adopted team since my son loves them.

We went and saw a nice family movie this weekend with my mom, the wife, and the kids. It was called Buck. It is about a guy who is like the horse whisperer. He basically trains horses by gentle means and by listening to their body language and using the incredible senses the horse has to make them do some incredible things.

The guy himself came from a family where his dad whipped him so bad his back was full of scars. One day the coach of his team made him get a shower after practice and saw all the criss-cross of scars on him. So he was taken away from his father and raised by a couple who should be on Horders: Kid edition. These people adopted like 24 kids and then made them slave labor on their farm.

Actually it turned out well and the kid Buck grew up and learned about horses. He found he did not like the abusive ways horses were trained and was able to learn the new style from his horse sensei.

We were riding back in the car and my wife makes some comment about how I should get past my childhood and make something of my life or something like that. So being the asshole I am I grin and say "I wish I had a nice foster family like Buck". Man did that get a reaction. My mom and wife were like soooo pissed off. They said I have no decency. Hilarious. Of course that led into a fight about what a bitch my wife is to everyone... but she is always right and everyone else is wrong. When she tells someone something it is just to encourage them to do better not to put them down. *sigh*.

Later that night we got some bad news. Our new Au Pair decided to quit without any notice. She did this after she went out with this girl in Winchester. I get the feeling that she preferred a McMansion with a sauna to our humble home. I have heard a ton of horror stories about the McMansion people. I really hope she gets what she deserves.

If it was up to me I would have thrown her ass out that night. Giving a fucking two days notice on a Sunday is ridiculous and has put is in a very bad spot. Her stuff would have been out on the curb last night and she could fucking walk to Winchester for all I cared. The wife is too nice to let me do that though. Spoils all my fun. At least this morning I took her off the router. Let's see how much fun she has without a computer. Bitch. Peace.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Are you Ready for some Coolering?

Josie has this stupid football pool every year. I say it is stupid because she wins every year. I mean what kind of "men" does she work with? We should revoke their man cards. I have decided to put my picks up against hers. She thinks it's only for week two but I think we should do it all season. If we only do one game then when she loses she will say "wah wah wah it was only one game you got lucky". Exactly like that. Trust me.

So the rules of her pool are simple. Pick every game. Assign a number between 1 and 16 with 16 being the most sure pick and 1 being the least sure. No spreads. If you get a pick right you get that many points. Whoever has the most points at the end wins. Easy. Peasy. Just so little girls like Josie can understand the rules. ;).

GB      16
NO      15
HOU      14
NE      13
PIT      12
DET      11
PHI      10
BUF      9
BAL      8
NYJ      7
IND      6
DAL      5
DEN      4
WAS      3
TB      2
NYG      1

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I haz..

..many good ideaz and no energy to do them..

Friday, September 02, 2011


My son starts playing football this year. It is the first year they allow it as part of the school. It is hard to believe he is in 7th grade. He is very excited about football. He got all dressed up in his pads and ran around a bunch.

The one downside of the whole thing is his mom not allowing him to skip or reschedule tutoring for Football practice. I asked some people who have played and the sentiment was that he would be letting down the team and the coaches would not stand for it. The wife asked the coach if it was alright and he said it was fine. I am not so sure. Practices are 6 days a week for the kids.

The kid thinks she is wrong also. He gets in this huge fight with her on the way home from his last practice. As a little background to this the wife is always complaining about her job. She makes an ok salary at like 50-60k a year or so. Nothing special. Some kid out of school could probably do that. She has been doing mostly tech support type stuff instead of her normal Business Analyst job and she hates it.

So they start yelling at each other about the practices. My wife says "You need to have the tutoring! I went to Smith College and got a degree and you need to do the same!" to which he replies "Yeah, and look where that's gotten you".

I will say the Wife did not find it as amusing as I did.

One last thing. The kid was put on the D-Line. Not sure if this is because of his mom or not. I told him to work his ass off and show the coach that he was a hard working player and he would be able to earn a spot as a wide receiver or something he would rather do. I am not sure if this was a demotion or if the 8th graders get the better spots and the new kids have to put in the time. Anyway we will see.