Saturday, September 30, 2006

Who wants to win 14K anyways..

Played the 11$ rebuy crap shoot and did well all the way through until 300 left. I then had a shortish stack after pissing away 10K when I decided to bet on the turn when a guy had a gutshot straight draw WITH a flush draw on the board and of course rivers me. I mean why not call of a huge bet with a gutshot on the turn.. that must give you at least 5% chance to win which is better than all your poker skills gives you.

So then I am shortish and of course when a guy raise, the second guy pushes, and I have AK I decide to call. Why? Well I had a nice chance to hit 30K in chips, be solid middle of the pack, and do some damage in this thing. The first guy folds which gives me even better odds and the second guy turns over his A9. Of course I lose even though I have a nut flush draw and the best hand going into the turn. Riverstars lives up to it's name and give the guy a 9. Which by evil poker god trying to make me insane irony is the same card the guy with the gutshot had. Who knew? I need to stop getting the money in 80% ahead it is just too painful.

Welcome to

Welcome our newest advertiser I had not actually ever been to the site before we started talking about the ad on the right. So I went by and checked them out and they seem to have a very cool site.

I thought that the graphic below was pretty funny.

It is part of an article asking why do we play poker?. Nothing us bloggers have not asked a million times before but well written and worth reading.

I also go a chuckle out of this article on BlackJack!

Of course I thought of Veneno when I read the article on playing heads up. Interesting point they make that describes Veneno perfectly!

Pot Odds - Counting your outs correctly and integrating them

Pot odds is actually the least important in heads-up, because rarely will you call because you are 'getting odds'. If anything, if you have odds to call - BET! Play those flushies and straight draws aggressively, because whatever odds you are getting, aggression gives those odds a skyrocket value with folding equity tossed in. Even with a inside straight draw, it's not a bad idea to bet if checked to you or first to go, because you still have the possibility that your opponent might fold to you (likely in heads-up). If you miss your draw, you can keep attacking and hope he folds, or by miracle, you may even hit your draw and have a very well disguised hand that's perfect for trapping.

I should be poker around the site in the weeks to come and will let you know if I find anything else interesting..

Friday, September 29, 2006

FFL Week 4

I am only posting this because I know Duggles hates it. It has been an interesting year so far for my team. I am 1-2 but have the 4th highest point total in the league. I am not sure what this means. I nip here, a tuck there, maybe I get something good going. My biggest problem is I have no real super star. I have decent players putting up average numbers every week. So if one or two of my guys is knocked out like last week it kills my team. I made alot of small changes this week. I am sick of my QB situation so I dumped both of my QBs and took some long shots with C. Frye (mostly because its Oakland!) and A. Smith. Could pay off. For my QB I am going with Frye this week.

I also picked up Mi. Robbinson. He is an interesting player that I can play in WR or RB position. Also with Gore being sick with bad ribs and fumbleitis he may actually turn into a very good pick. My Wide Receiver core is my best asset. I usually play Burress and Stallworth. Now Burress is on a bye and I need to keep a close eye on Stallworth. I hope he plays this week as I really need him. I am playing Stallworth, Robbinson, and Bennett in WR this week. Pretty good matchups. I also have Berrian as a long shot pickup. The bears have been doing good but I am sitting him this week.

My runningback situation has been a shambles since the beginning. We are a 12-team league and RB is important. I drew the 12th pick, and my first RB choice ended ip going out on IR before the first game. Ouch. Cursed Texas Houstons!!! So my backup boys were Dunn and Williams. Well the Caddy has been out of gas so far this year. He put up numbers last week which was a huge improvement. I hope he gets it going. Dunn has been a solid starter. Had a bad week but I like him. With Williams on the Bye I am playing Dunn and Rhodes. Should be a decent week for both. I have Michael Turner, AKA the Burner. He is a longshot that I picked up just in case. Against Batimore he is a for sure sit.

I have a ton of depth in TE. Go figure. This week Miller is on a bye, and I actually have yet to use him, but Smith for the Iggles has been making me good numbers and I like my two picks here.

My Kicker has been doing well but I decided on a change. I swapped out the Buffalo kicker for Longwell of the Vikings. Since the Viking can not seem to score TDs I figure he is going to do alot of kicking. He actually has the MOST points of any player on my team at 35 fantasy points so far. I told you my team is just average. I hope he keeps it up.

I am sticking with my Seattle Defense. They have been mediocre but solid. Again not a huge amount of points for me but enough to hang in there. I got a bye coming up next week so that could be trouble. If anyone wants to trade me Baltimore I am game! heh.

I have been proposing alot of trades to other players in the league. Hopefully that can get me a solid RB. If not I will have to keep trudging along. Nobody is really running away with the league yet -- well except for MOOOOOOOOOKIE! He is 3-0. The rest of the league is 2-1 or 1-2. So with a win this week against JJ I can be middle of the pack again.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Donkeys Defense

I can not find the right link.. but CC had a great post defending his play against SLB in the WWDN. Actually what he was defending was getting AA twice in a row! Shame on you CC! It is funny where you find nuggets worth looking at though. I have often thought some of CC's moves in the VERY FEW MTTs I have seen him play were donkish. I have seen him call of large sums with monster hands like KJo (Usually with a nice stack of chips behind him). I by no means think that CC is a donkey so it always surprised me when I saw moves like this.

I read his "Donkeys Defense" post and what I took out of it was kind of interesting. He is right about the top 10 or even top 3 of most MTTs being the only thing worth getting. Who the hell wants to play for six hours for fifteen bucks. I mean it sounds nice that you beat 2000 donks but who the hell cares. Talking with Ick last night I also had to disagree with his reasoning. He was telling me that I play too aggressively near the bubble. Who the hell cares? Oooh my I lost that double up I was going to make. I think I will go home and cry to mommy. I think all of my recent bubbles have been on good hands. I think part of the problem has been letting myself get blinded down slightly. The other part was just bad luck. If you raise AQ with five people at your table, huge blinds, and getting blinded out, you can expect to have the best hand a huge chunk of the time. Pushing JJ into AA after you is going to happen sometimes. You could argue that I could have called $600 off with my 3K stack and then fold to the re-raise after me. I think calling is bad here though since you give the guys behind you odds to limp in with alot of hands. I think raising 4xBB is bad as it leaves me crippled. I think pushing is right.

I am not sure where the "Donkey Defense" comes into play but if I could quantify it I would say the general idea is to keep your stack in the top 10% throughout the game. Add more risk to your game to try and take the huge reward at the end. I think it means taking some risks early with strong starting hands. Pushing some TPTK on flops to try and get that lead. I also think the only way to keep up with the pack is to steal alot more. You will become card dead at some point in a 3hour MTT. Your choices then are either blind down and die or steal a blind or two. Not going overboard but keeping up with the leaders. My normal middle game is waiting with my largish stack until the blinds increase and then hoping I get a hand to push before I am blinded down too far. No way this is going to work. I think I will experiment with ways to chip up huge this week at some of the small buyin MTTs. It may be as simple as pushing some hands harder pre-flop earlier.. or taking some more risky lines.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Surgery in Roller Coasters

Ick what the hell is wrong with your people? Doctors operating in a roller coaster? What is next? Gallbladder removal from the merry go round? I swear these people do shit just because they can. Doctors are dangerous! Be careful!

Officers at the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office spent $6,400 on 92 lap dances at just one bikini bar, Lil Tootsie's, over the course of a two-year vice investigation, the Tampa Tribune reported Tuesday. What the hell is up with that? I mean is being nude such an offense that we need to spend 6K trying to stop it? The officers contend that the money was well spent, as the women in these VIP rooms frequently take it all off; 41 misdemeanor nudity charges were filed against 15 dancers. Really? Why don't you go fucking catch some real criminals you pervs.

While I am on Doctors I do not get why Rav goes to an Island to learn to be a doctor? Is he in Witch Doctor school? Is it easier to get a degree from some dinky Island? Then you come back to the states and get licensed? Just cheaper? Is it because they allow you to experiment on people easier where there are no laws? Weird concept but sounds cool.. Hope my boy is making Dr. Frankenstein money soon!

Played the Mookie-Double play tonight. I ALMOST took first in the Second change. I also did well in the first game. My luck is still off. The first game the blinds are 200 and I have a 3K stack. I look down and see JJ and figure I need some chips if I want to make the final table. I get a small 600-raise before me so I decide to push and isolate. I could have cold called but I honestly like the push better. Only because my stack was getting smallish. If I cold call the 600 I am still in the game but now I am really desperate. Anyhooo.. my luck held up and the guy two seats after me had AA and that is all she wrote.

I played really well and got lucky early in the Second Mook. I took Hoy out when he limped A6 and I raised with KJ. He read me like a book and pushed. I called. We raced. He lost. Sorry man. Not the worse suckout I have seen the boy take. I think I read Hoys blog too much because he always posts hands where he sucks out on someone or makes a HUGE bluff. So I naturally assume he is always bluffing. I need to adjust a little. I think it runs both ways though since I can often bust his ass with a better hand.

I then played some good poker all the way to HU with LifesAGrind. I will admit here and now that he was pissing me off. Every fucking raise I made when 5 people were left he called with an inferior hand AND he hit alot of them. I would raise AK and he would call with Q8o and hit a queen. It was annoying. In the end we had a pretty good battle back and forth. He slow played a pair of kings against my K5 and of course a king hit the flop. I got away from that without blowing my whole stack. I then had a decent sized lead and I push my AJ. He calls with 89h and of course spikes a 9. No help for your truely. In the end I pushed with a weak K, and he called, like usual, with a weak Ace, and that was all she wrote for me. Ah well. Heads up is a weird animal. I actually like the aggression with weak aces HU. It really is all about luck when you get to that point. Second is good I guess. Who the hell am I kidding.. second is for losers! I want the golden ring baby! At least Ick didnt win.

I took my Ill gotten gains to the 50/NL table and doubled up. The hand I was able to double with was interesting. I called a raise with KQ, which I hardly ever do. The flop came with a king. Guy bets out and I cold call. The turn is ANOTHER K. He bets. This time I raise him. Need to know where I am. His hesitation tells me I am way ahead. At least that was my read. He pushes. I call. He flips bottom pair and a flush draw and I win. No other hands of real note.

Bubble Boyyyy

Bash at the boathouse picture are aewsome. Maudie groping Pauly was especially interesting. I did not know if I should puke from seeing Paulies man boobs or get turned on by seeing Maudie grope nipple. You decide.

Do Jordon and SoxLover look like brothers? Is Jordon Bald? He actually looks a little bit like what I would expect. You can tell he has an attitude from his face. He has to be a born New Yawker.

Played a little WWDN last night. I had fun bubbling in 10th. I can say truthfully: No Suckouts, No Sucked out on. It was a little annoying to push AQ with 5 people at the table and get called by AK. I think my luck is on a downswing so hopefully that will turn around soon. Really no choice but to push. My M-was bad and moving into pathetic. The guy with AK also had a sickly green M and of course had to call.

I watched a few of my friends go deep, even money, but end up dissapointed. It is almost worse to beat 1200 donks and end up in 24th place for barely any money (4x buyin) then to bust out in 1199th place. Congrats to Drewspop for doing this last night. Even though I know he was dissapointed he did goot. This is the Smokkee-Hoy gambit I beleive. I think they push smaller edges earlier to get that huge chip lead you need.

In EVERY MTT you play it is almost guarenteed you are going to get sucked out on. Probably sucked out on HUGE. The key is to have enough of a stack to survive the inevitable occurance and go on to win. People have different strategies for doing this. Some like to push early and often. Others like to play tight until the blinds increase and then go for it. I like to limp early and often. Hit a monster. Get paid. Easy right? I think the place my game needs to improve is in the mid-end sections. I always end up getting chipped down when the blinds get huge and I am waiting for a hand. I need to throw more bluffs into my mid-end game so I can steal blinds and keep up with the top 25% of the field instead of getting so low I need to push. I think this is the one adjustment that will see me make more final tables. The other thing I need to do is not go all crazy when I make chips early. In that case I need to slow down and stop seeing as many flops. I tend to piss away alot of chips when I get off to a good lead which is obviously bad. I think with a few adjustments I can do much better at these things. It is just experimenting with the right combination of Donk and TAG at the right times.

I think I do better at the small field games (like WWDN) since you do not have to (usually) get a huge chip lead. I rode 4K in chips to 10th place last night. You can play TAG all the way through and still win these. Really went card dead towards the end. The smaller field games are alot easier to beat than the 1300 person games and thus need a different strategy.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Interesting Question

Does it bother you that you are only up so little over so much time? - Jordon

In a lot of ways that is a hard question to answer. I am actually very happy in a lot of ways that I am not in the hole. I know ALTO of people who have played this game and never caught their stride until year 5 or 6. I have heard the stories of large loses until something finally changed and they become winning players and finally made back the huge loses they had initially. Not to mention the perpetual losers who keep dumping thousands of dollars into Wes's banking account.

Anyone who has read this here blog for a while knows I have the potential to put my son down on black-7 and let it ride. I can always have another one, right? I know that the gambooler part of me exists and that is one reason that I have kept my personal finances and my poker finances apart. It is one of the rules that I have stuck to while playing poker.

I also feel like I get poker a lot better than the majority of people out there. I do not consider the time invested in the game to be a waste in the sense that I have learned a lot. I would at least feel comfortable playing against most any player I know. I will not say I could beat anyone out there as many people are better than I am, but I think I would put up a decent game. Like everyone else I have my bad days but for the most part I think I have a solid game that I am proud of. A lot of room for improvement but it has come a long way.

I think one of the best things I have gotten out of playing for the past few years.. the invaluable part if you will, is this blog. I know it is no Tao of Poker but I think it is unique and worth reading. It has put me into contact with a lot of great people and I have had a lot of adventures that I will remember for the rest of my life. I am sure a lot more is coming in the future too. I had a great time playing in the Hoy last night.. just because it was against people I enjoy playing and I could chat it up a little. (**Sorry if I was annoying Soxy! You know I love you! I forgot to ask Jordon if your snipped or not.**)

In a lot of ways I have HUGE standards for being successful in poker. While I respect the hell out of the guys who have been able to grind the roll up to 10K or 20K in the past few years I would hardly consider that successful. I know a lot of people do not blog how much they have made.. but if you have been playing over a year and have not made 70-80K at least then IMHO so what? I can work at a fulltime job and do better than that by a longshot. No offense to any of you who have worked hard and built up something but my notion of "success" in Poker from a monetary perspective is taking down 200K or more a year. Hell I will even take 100K a year playing part-time.. anyone? No? Yes? ok. I totally believe someone like Wes, since I am picking on him, could absolutely do this. I have not seen any Blogger who is this successful though. I am sure there might be some but both in public and private chats I just have not seen it yet.

As we all know my main problem with being successful at this game, even at the low standards of the rest of you, is my TILT factor. The game just drives me insane. I have come to the point where I mentally realize that shit happens but I still can not take it well.

Might as well get some venting out. Last night alone was pretty fun as I got 3-card rivered in Stud twice. I have JJJ showing ON THE BOARD and I get called down by a guy who gets a 5th, 6th, and 7th street Ace to beat me. I start with a 4 card low and a draw to the flush high and lose BOTH when a guy with a ten high gets a 456 on 5th, 6th, and 7th street to beat me.. less we forget our favorite HE, I raise with pocket tens (which I hardly do) and get two callers. The flop comes 356.. nice right? WRONG! The guy with 33 beats me as well as the guy with 66!!! I can understand one set hitting but 3-pairs and two guys hit a two-outer on me at the same time. I also do not have to tell you how my AJ, Ace on the flop, was cracked by T6, bottom pair on the flop. Not necessary.

Crazy shit. Just to throw in some bad plays of mine combined with bad luck, I had two situations where I was short stacked in a tourney, was in late position, had a weak hand but only two people left to act, both people call me and flip over AK, and AQ. Umm. Ok. I totally understand the risk I am taking when raising with crap -- sometimes you need to do this -- but it is crazy the hands I end up against. Just so you do not think that I NEVER suck out.. I tripped up on one of those two hands when I had AJ s000ted and flopped the nut flush. Poker is Rigged. Not just online either.

So anyway I am sure you guys have the exact same nights as I just described.. That was actually an average night and most of the time it is a lot worse. Ask JJOK he has seen me play Razz. The point being though that you need to be able to accept these beats and even want them. I totally buy into Mr. Anonymous saying that you want people to play this badly. It is a given. It is true. It is still frustrating and easier said then done. If I get a handle on this it may make all the difference.. who knows. Either that or the Schooling Fish Theory of Poker has a lot of merit and the bad players who chase flushes will ultimately win.

Right now I am enjoying playing live. It is new. Fresh. I do not play with a Bankroll.. I just grab a few hundred from home, run off to Foxwoods, and play for the enjoyment of the game. Sure I get sucked out on and one of these times I will lose. So far not having a bankroll and just playing to play has worked though. Winning of course is fun. One of the things that has killed me online has been the ole' bankroll watching. You know the story. You get into that stretch where you start losing a little every night and eventually see your bankroll go down and try and play catchup. Playing live this way I have none of that going on.

Eventually I will probably need to incorporate a live bankroll and start playing the 2/5 games but until then this is working fine. I hate the two hour drive to Foxwoods so I only end up playing once a month or so. In the five sessions I have had so far playing 100$ buyin NL I am up over 9 buyins so that is working out well. Small sample size so it means nothing but feels good. I see the beats I see online playing live but not as often. You basically play one table and slightly tighter (as the table dictates) so with the fewer hands played you will not see the same beats and they will not happen to you as often. I still have felt myself tilting at times.. and with the slower pace of the game been able to bring it back and turn those times into winning sessions.

So with my lofty goals and short comings I may never win a lot of money playing. I may not play online anymore. I may score huge in an MTT. Who knows what the future might hold. I do think I will be playing for a while to come. I am pretty sure I will stay break-even at worse and who knows I may actually win something I consider worthwhile someday. Does it bother me to be break even or just a little ahead though? With the people I have met and the outlet the blog gives me I have to say "Resoundingly Not!".

*** SideNote: Sorry I missed the Bash!!!! I am really pissed but the fates conspired and I could not make it. It sounds like it was a great time.

*** SideNote II: I was VERY impressed by Slb's play in the MATH this Monday. He made some EXCELLENT plays that were very Un-Slob like. Well played sir, this post would probably be all about you if Jordon had not asked me this question.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Everyone loves a Rant

Apparently this is my niche in the Bloggerverse. Ranting. Raving. Being insane. I guess I will just embrace it.

Uhm, neglected to mention our relative positions for the KJ vs. QQ (it was SB vs. BB, no? And it's called a semi bluff...ever hear of it?) and my M for the 88 vs. JJ (which was a fraction of everyone else at the table - I believe it was TWO). Both are PRETTY DAMNED IMPORTANT before calling me names, don't you think?

Don't make me out to be a fucking idiot. I'm not.
- MsJoanne

Do not say I never give people a chance to retort. I am not even going to reply to this comment though. It speaks for itself. Like I said in my post I was just venting my frustration. I stand by the general idea of my statements that I think the plays I outlined were HORRIBLE on your part and there were SO MANY more that night. From the responses I have received I would guess most nights. If I can impart one thing it is take a deep look at your game.

Actually this is a pretty good Segue, no not the motor scooter, the writers tool. I joke around alot on this here blog. I strut around and say how good my game is, and I do think it is decent, but behind the scenes I work very hard to improve. I know that I have a long ways to go and that there is ALWAYS something learn. One of the best Poker players I know once said, and I paraphrase cause I am not as smart as he is, "Either your going forward, learning new things, improving your skills, or your falling backwards".

"He who has a hundred miles to walk should reckon ninety as half the journey."
--Japanese Proverb

You really can never stop learning in this game or else you die. I do not think this was the post but what the fuck read "The Path to Poker Mastery" it is pretty good.

Ok enough Poker stuff.. back to Ranting.

The night started out with me screwing around with my crumbs left on Full Tilt. I was not going to play the DADI but I ran my crumbs up to 9$ and then MiamiDonk said the DADI was going to start in 5 minutes. So I say, fuck, I have five minutes to make two dollars. I get dealt AJo, I raise $2 and get two callers, I push the 886 flop and one folds the other calls and flips over AT. I am suddenly playing the DADI.

I was doing well all the way down to 16th place. I was in 4th with about 18 people left when GCox Donked me good! We were in the stud portion of the night and I had AxA. Now in Stud AA is not a great hand. The hand before I let a guy catch a flush on me. However he had a hand you have to see the river with. He started with 4 spades against my pair of aces. I lost less money by checking down to the river against him and calling his final bet in case he was bluffing. I respect that play.

Gary calls my pre-flop completion and two other bets with TJ9T. Um. Yeah. Nice 2 outer on fifth street though. If you caught a Queen you would have Had to have called two more bets with a OESD which would have been expensive. Oh well. I know, I know, "But Sir you could have been bluffing". I have heard it a million times before. Please.. please.. please keep disrespecting me!!!! I actually have the upmost respect for Gary and this just shows WHY I HATE AA in Stud or even two pair. It is WAY too easy to lose with hands like that even though I think he misplayed his hand.

I finally had to push with AKJ and got called to the river and lost to un-improved Queens. Ug. I had so few chips left that the guy could have had any hand and I think he would have been right to call.

I think I am rubbing off on Ick. He is taunting my readers now. Thanks for sticking up for me big boy. Makes me get teary again. Ick is right though James. I enjoy ranting and raving and my readers like it too. Poker and I have a love hate relationship. I have won thousands of dollars playing poker and lost the same amount. All in all after a few years of playing I am up less than 1 weeks pay at my job. (I make decent money, not Dr. Ick money, probably more than intern lawyer Jordon money but he has potential when he makes partner). I like the challenge of the game though. I tend to overreact to alot of things. I think that is what makes it fun to read me. I get excited when I am winning and bummed out when losing and I lay it all out there for everyone. I think it may even help some people. Who knows. Anyways I do hope you keep reading.

Waffles Challenge

First off a few responses to my adoring public.

Judging from the few posts I have read, I am concluding that you are new to poker, read a few books, and expect immediate riches

No. Actually I have been play for a few years. It drives me INSANE when these people suckout because THEY ALWAYS DO. Do I ever suckout? Sure. Like once in a blue moon. However my 50-50's are like 10-90's and my 80-20's are like 40-60's. It is the truth. I do not expect my DOMINANT (laugh) hands to hold up anymore because they never do.

Can't imagine the name calling if Hoy's set of fours would have held up vs. KK.

I think that one re-suck on the river saved me going over MEGA TILT to SUPER EXTRA MEGA TILT.

All I really want to do is win one. That is it. I see people who make the worse calls ever win all the time. It is just sickening. It is true, Poker is gambling. It has nothing to do with skill or cards or anything. You might as well push with any two at random intervals. I hope Congress bans this crap.

It is pretty funny that I have not had this happen live. Do not get me wrong. I have had some suckouts vs Flush drawers and things like that. The players are ten times worse live, they get money in the pot with a lot worse hands, and somehow I seem to win. I guess it might be because it is all new and fresh so I have different expectations. I have seen ALOT bad beats live. I do not think online is rigged. Not sure why I seem to do so much better live. It is an interesting questions I am mulling.

Sometimes I wonder if I could corrupt online Poker. At the live games raises are insane pre-flop and flop bets are nasty. At the 100/NL at Foxwoods the pre-flop raise is anywhere between 10-20$ with everyone having $100 stacks and you might get 5-6 callers. If you played 100/NL fairly tight and when you had a raisable hand popped it 10-15$ I wonder what adjustments people would make online.

So on to the challenge. I am going to play a run of MTTs. I will have to figure out which ones and how many. I am going to keep a spreadsheet of all of these games. On every hand I will have the following columns: Ahead and I won, Behind and I sucked out, Folded Before River. I will write the matchups and the amounts that went in on each street. IMHO it is not a suckout when you call 3xBB and flop a monster if you have a stack or if a guy gives you odds by his bets to call. I think what we will find is that I do indeed have the worse luck of anyone on the planet and that the Poker Gods are against me.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I give up

I cant play fucking morons. Not that I did not make a few bad calls but here was my night. I am cruising in the Mookie. Doing very well when I look down and see pocket tens. Now I raise and 23skiddoo re-raises me. I know his range is wide so I push. He would later say he thought I was bluffing. Now here is the problem with that. I agree I could be bluffing. However AJo is a shit hand and I had VERY RARELY raised the blinds. Skiddoo does not pay attention. So he calls and of course he gets lucky. You suck. MiamiDon warned me you were a fucking luckbox!

I actually had 2K left which was a deciding factor in calling him where I knew he had at least 3 outs if not 6. So I find KK a little later and MsJoanne wakes up with Aces. When she called I leaped for joy until she turned over the Aces. Again her range is wide as the grand canyon. For example I just watched her knock Hoy out with 88 vs JJ all in pre-flop. The Donkey hand she knocked me out with in the Mookie second chance was QQ vs KJ. I raised pre-flop, she re-raise, I re-re-raised. Of course her KJo was a MONSTER hand she could never fold. The flop came AKx and I knew I was beat. I was just REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF THAT THESE LUCKBOXES ALWAYS PLAY BADLY AND WIN. Yes. I will say it. You fucking suck at Poker. You can not even fucking spell the word and before you write posts about getting sucked out on fucking stop doing it to everyone else and their brother. I agree Hoy. Bad play. Of course if I did not call her all in I might have thought she had a real hand. What a fucking joke. A better line would have been to fold because I knew for sure I was beat. Oh well.

I did have one good hand against the LuckBitch. I called a small raise with 56d. The flop comes 478 giving me the nut straight. Now what did I tell Ick about how to induce a call to your massive overbet?

A. Know the person can not fold. *check*
B. Know the person has a big hand *check*

So I pushed the flop and of course she called. I will give her one tiny bit of credit in that she thought about it for most of her time. I thought for a second I mis-judged her non-ability to fold but I was wrong, I should have had faith in myself.

Now to the hand Hoy got angry about. Actually he was very happy but thats ok. He has 1K in chips vs my 3k. The flop comes 346. I flop middle pair. Hoy check-pushes. Now here was my thinking. It was by no means an instant call. I had middle pair on a semi-scary board. Perfect place for Hoy to bluff. He was low on chips. The call would not bust me. I figured a player of his merit might very well bluff on an all low card flop. Unfortionatly his rags had hit better than mine and that was that hand. No worries.

Let's talk about another fucking no-respect hand though. I swear I have no idea why everyone thinks I bluff. I play a pretty easy to read game. If I bet I have something if I do not bet I do not. However I can not tell you how often the retards claim they thought I was bluffing. I wake up with KK. Hoy had raised before me. I push. Now how the hell he called my all in push with 44 is unknown to me. He turns his 4, and I river my straight to re-suck. About as nice a call as my middle pair -- although it could be defendable if you think I have AK and you want to race. I think you just showed me no respect so I got paid.

Anyway */end[rant]/*. Tomorrow I will probably feel bad for calling MsJoanne a LuckBitch and Skiddoo whatever the fuck I called him. For tonight however it feels good. I doubt I will feel bad about calling Hoy anything. I know he can take it. The best thing about this blog is it gives me a chance to get everything out of my system all at once. If I offend you take it with a grain of salt or learn how to play poker.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Uber Rambling

I think the post count has been down lately so I will make it up with a HUGE UBER rant that has nothing to do with anything. It is my specialty after all.

I just got finished watching the tribute to Steve Irwin. I asked Loud if his dieing was like when JFK was shot in America. Apparently not on that level but still pretty serious. I thought it was a nice and fitting ceremony. I liked how it celebrated his life and what he lived for and had very little focus on death. He was a pretty amazing guy in the way he lived his life and shared his passion with the world.

The things I did not like about the presentation were very few. First off what the fuck is up with that Gay wiggle guy? I mean I guess they were friends and all but that guy has major psychological problems. He so had to have been ass raped by his uncle when he was little to be that fucked up. He can NOT get out of his Wiggles character. He IS a wiggle. I fucking felt like smacking him across the face and saying “This is a funeral not Saturday morning cartoons!!!”. Jesus those wiggles are annoying.

The only other thing that was strange was the stupid American's who kept coming on and saying how great Steve was. I mean I can understand the people who knew him like Russell Crow and all but what the fuck is up with Justin Timberlake? I mean he meets the guy once and gets to stutter and look stupid on television. What a fucktard. Who the hell chose him?

One of the most touching parts of the whole thing was when his daughter came up and spoke about her dad. Being a dad myself I could feel the tears welling up when that brave little girl spoke about her hero! Of course I did not cry because, well, I am a man! THATS NOT A TEAR YOU RETARDS!

Enough of the sad stuff. I want to start something that could become a monthly feature possibly. It is called "What the Fuck" with Dr. Ick. It is where I show my total lack of knowledge about anything medical and ask Dr. Ick*[not safe for work] to answer some questions. I mostly want to do this because I do not believe that pretty boy has the brains to really be a doctor. Although he does have the money grubbing attitude as shown through his poker obsession. So here is the first "What the Fuck" with Dr. Ick.

Dr. Ick. I saw that they took Ben Roethlisberger’s appendix out through some tiny little holes they drilled in his body. I am not sure how this works? Do they put a periscope hole on the top, a sucker on the right side, and a burner on the left? Are there more than 3 holes? How the hell do they get the appendix out with those tiny little holes? How big are the freaking holes? It all seems fishy to me.

I hear some Indians (India ones not American ones) talking today and it fucking cracks me up. The accent is so funny. I can barely stop laughing. I want to hire an Indian hooker*[This would not be safe for work except I couldnt find any good looking naked Indian women] one day and pay her to talk dirty to me. The entertainment value alone would be worth it.

Speaking of entertainment I had to LAUGH at Absinthe. The guy is amazing. Has years of experience and yet he still says

I realize that I’m still up for the month overall and hence am not in much of a position to complain. Still, does the blind have to wake up with kings there? – Absinthe

This my dim witted blogging friends is WHY blogs are cool. When you realize that we are all in the same boat no matter how well we finished in the ME or how many years we have played poker. We all curse it. We all ask "WHY!!!". When someone can share his pain and bemusement it connects with our own no matter what stage we are at and that is well worth all the crappy stuff we write in-between. Thanks for making my day!

I swear I work in a Satanic building. Something like that Ghost Busters building that is really a portal to let evil demons in from the NETHERWORLD. No matter what direction I go in this pentagram shaped building I am always lost. I can never even find my way out the right side of the building and I am constantly walking around the outside to get to my car as people snicker at me rather loudly. If I start seeing shadows I am quitting. I may actually quit anyways. The commute is kind of harsh. The job is decent but nothing special. I am on a 3-month trial and we will see how I am feeling after a few months.

Tomorrow night is going to be the Mookie on Full Tilt. Be there or be an asshole! I hope I have amused you with my Uber Ramblings. Tomorrow I may explain my strategy behind the live game at Foxwoods and why it works for me. Until then may your pocket three push to a raise and a re-raise FUCKING BUST YOU OUT OF THE TOURNEY YOU RETARD! Peace.

Monday, September 18, 2006

FFL Ugs!

First off I will start by saying I crushed 23Skiddoo this weekend. I scored a nice 72 points and I am happy with my teams production so far. Having said that I think I am doomed. I know, this is a common theme with me, but it is probably true.

I started the season with some semi-weak RB issues. Domanick Davis who was my first round pick goes down for the season. It leaves me with a decent second back in Cadillac Williams, however he has been suffering from back pain and putting up about 3 points a game. I sat him this week because of it. Thank goodness! So that leaves me with Warric Dunn and Dominic Rhodes. Now I will not complain about them scoring 15 points combined for me this week. Those are decent numbers. However with M. Barber III as my backup and the fact that you need a back that scores like 10-11 a week I see trouble.

Now my WR core is not much better. I have some solid one and two players in Burress and Rhodes. Rod Smith has been a tool so far. So that leaves me with Drew Bennett who has been decent and some crappy Miami guy. Not much depth in a 12 person league.

I am VERY unhappy with Marc Bulger this year also. I need my QB to pickup some slack and so far Bulger has been pretty much a donk. I have Leftwich as backup and he has put up good numbers so far. I may have to sit Marc next week if Leftwich keeps playing so well. I also may pickup another QB for next week just to get some numbers.

My Tight-end, Kicker, and Defence situations are great but normally these are not high point positions. My kicker has been especially good nailing 3 40-50 yarders in the last two weeks. So I am not sure what to do. Not too much out there for me to pickup. I guess we wait and see.

Played a bit of poker this weekend. Some of a little of everything. Hit up my friend John's wedding too. It was a nice wedding. It is funny when you have not seen people for a while how they change. His brother was this 900-pound slob and I did not recognize him AT ALL when I saw him at the wedding. He lost a ton.

I have been hitting up the Play Money Omaha tables for the fuck of it. It is kind of fun scooping a 600K pot my way. Really crazy play. I was up 300,000 for the day. Go figure.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Online Poker

I could say Online Poker is rigged or it sucks or it is just fucking stupid but I will not. Ahhh fuck that. Fuck you Online Poker. I do not ask much. I know you like to torture me endlessly. Could you let me win one though? I was in the 20/2 PLHE MTT tonight and I got down to 21-left. I then had the following two hands pretty close together. Have QQ. Flop a set. Get bet into. Re-raise. Get Re-Re-Raised push the guy all in for 5K which covers him. He calls. He shows bottom pair GUTSHOT straight draw and well I will not bore you with the results. I hold my shit together and I am able to get it back up to 5K. I then get AA in ep. I raise. We go back and forth. All in pre-flop. He turns up KK. Of course a K hits on the turn and that is it for me. I just do not know what to say. Instead of being a massive chipleader I get fucked after DOMINATING my competition so bad they look like special olympics players. Fuck you all you retards.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Help Mates!

I know I have not been posting much but the new job keeps me busy and I have been mostly playing live. I did have a serious problem I need a hand with though. I only think men need to answer this since it does not apply to women. Here it is.

You enter the only bathroom on the floor and there are three urinals. Two adult ones and one midget one. A guy is occupying adult urinal #1. What do you do?

A. Violate Man Law and go piss next to him like a homo. Not that there is nothing wrong with being a homo mind you.

B. Use the midget urinal and hope you do not get too much piss on your sox.

C. Come back later

D. Any other suggestions are welcome

On the poker front I was one hand away from an entry to the Aussie Millions qualifier. I played a 600FPP SNG. The way it went down was five people left. I have 6K, Donkey one has 4K Donkey two is around 600 chips. I raise AK. I get re-raised by Donkey one, Donkey two shoves all his chips in, I decide to push and make it HU. So I stick 6K in the pot. I get almost insta-called by Donkey one. The cards are turned over and it is my AK vs Donkey one's AJ vs Donkey three with the 68s. Now Donkey three is not a factor as I make 3K even if I lose to him. So while I am 40% against the two of them, I am like 70% against Donkey one. SO I am basically 70% away from winning the entry. How do I figure that? If I bust both donkeys I have around 13K vs two guys left with <1K stacks. If I just bust Donkey one I have 12K with the next largest stack being 1600. I think if I lost with that kind of lead to these donkeys I would have to shoot myself. So anyway I lose again as a Jack spikes on the river. Damn RiverTilt! One has to kind of laugh that I was involved against the only person who had enough chips to hurt me, I had him dominated, and I lost. Ahh well Donkeys will be Donkeys!

Sunday, September 10, 2006

FPP Tourneys

Just some rambling for tonight but before I get to that I want to give a nice reaming to CC for providing some crappy swag from the WSOP. He was nice enough to send me some junk. However the Pen he sent ran out of ink already, the bag is immitation leather, and the playing cards have GHEY pictures on them! What a jackass!

I decided to try a few after winning 10K in Play Money Stud. I figure it gives me a chance to practice playing aggressively in stud without losing any money. It actually mimics the 1/2 game pretty well. Anyway I won an entry to the Satelite for the 500K. I now can try and win an entry to the 500K on the 16th. It would be interesting if I was able to pull that off.

I won this game with a couple of suckouts and one incredible read combined with a nice flop. I had T7d second to act HU so I raise it up and I get immediatly re-raised. I had shown that I would fold to re-raises so I called. I like T7 s00ted alot as a hand. The flop comes 7KQ and I get ready to check-fold. He checks to me. I instantly process this information and my sub-conscience comes up with: Ace-x, missed the flop. The turn is a King.. So I know I am ahead and end up pushing. He calls and turns over A2 for the loss. I am ahead 10K to 3K and finish him off when he slow plays AQ vs my 25d and the flop comes 25Q. Ouch. The thing I liked about the T7d play was that I put him on a hand and stuck with it.

Fluxer sent me a cool clip from the Internation poker tourney! Funny to watch someone ELSE on tilt.

Speaking of tilt I had a little fun playing around with some people at the diaper tables. I was playing my stud game and this conversation came up:

Vicksmom: our church's homeless shelter collapsed last night
Beckster7: oh, that's terrible
Caint Speel: oh oh
blindmelon12: omg
Vicksmom: it was only 2 years old
Vicksmom: we are cooking for the people
Beckster7: bet that contractor is gonna be in trouble
SirFWALGMan: hope it took some of those homelesss scum with it
blindmelon12: wow
SirFWALGMan: they would probably be happier dead
blindmelon12: just ignorant ppl
Caint Speel: or y with another name
Linda Pi: think so
Beckster7: I have worked with the homeless for 15 years; many of them get their lives back togethr
(Vicksmom then says nh to everyone except me, I wonder why?)
SirFWALGMan: man you lick homeless cracks but wont say nice hand to me.. crazy..

Anyway it was kinda fun picking on people. I sometimes like to say things to see what kind of reaction I can get. Surprising, huh?

My Fantasy football team is alive by some miracle. I could have been way ahead of Drewspop and had him defeated already except Mark Bulger shit the bed and scored me like 4 points. Ouch. I also sat two guys who's points alone would have given me a sure victory by now. The two combined for 25 points. I would be smoking Drewspop by now instead of holding on to a 4 point lead going into Monday Night. I am facing A. Gates in the Monday night game and I hold little hope that Oakland will be able to pull my bacon out of the fire. I think I am in deep shit unless the guy comes down with phnemonia or something. I did score MUCH better than expected though so I am happy about that. I was playing the team considered the best in our league and I will probably either win by 1-2 points or lose by 1-2 points. Either way it is a long season and I hope to improve. At least the Patriots pulled out a nice win. I knew Bill would adjust in the second half and we just destroyed them in that half. Luckily taking a 2-point win, but a W is a W no matter what. I love FOOTBALL! BEST SPORT TO WATCH EVER!

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Live is Better

I went to Foxwoods tonight but before I get to that I want to give a nice shoutout to CC for providing some nice swag from the WSOP. He was nice enough to send me some junk. What a good guy!

Ok. So I decided to go to Foxwoods today. I am trying to get in some live play one or twice a month. I just find playing live to be a lot more fun. The episode with the infamous Black Widow was a blast and Vegas was very memorable not to mention my first trip to Foxwoods with Dr. Pauly.

I put in a few hours at my old job today. We have a big project due the 13th at my old job so they are having me help out. I got tired of that and after getting to a good stopping point I jumped in the car and shot up to Foxwoods.

I always have a lot of trepidation before playing live. All you really have control over is how you play. The rest is in how the day plays out. Once I get settled into a game all of that is lost in the absorption that is poker but the drive up and the first few hands usually have me anxious.

I also have a huge problem spending money on myself. In the big picture the $300 means nothing at all. I made much more than that just from today's few hours of work. I should have no problem with taking the money and playing but I always feel a little guilty I guess.

I finally get to Foxwoods and find the room pretty easily. It is a GREAT Poker room with the exception of the people who work there. The dealers have been ok. The desk people are fucking retards. I stood at the front of the desk for like five minutes waiting for the guy to stop talking to his boyfriend and fucking take my name. A simple "Can I help you Sir" goes a long way motherfucker!

I finally got to my table, which happened to be 21 (BLACKJACK!), and I sat down. We were in the inept hands of Anna Bannana! All the guys kept calling her that. She was a fucktard though. She took time then waited forever to start the game. She made seventeen mistakes and we got maybe one orbit in. Fucking waste of my time. I think the for the 1/2 game a $10/hr time fee is crazy and it makes it alot worse when the dealer sucks. The rest of the dealers at least kept the game going. One of them loved to throw the cards way in the air as he dealt which was retarded and a few cards were accidently exposed. For the most part the dealers were ok.

The table for the most part was not very memorable. I sat down in my usual seat at the one spot. A ton of people hate the one spot because you can not see the 10 seat across the table. I do not find this to be a problem. I like the familiarity of getting "My Seat" all the time too. It works for me.

We had on Asian guy who kept telling everyone how easy it was to win at 1/2 NL. All you needed to do was be patient.. as he blew off 3-4 buyins being either inpatient or stupid. The guys on the end knew each other. One was a Bad Blood wanna be. His arms were freaking HUGE. The other one was drunk-tight guy. He basically did not play a hand until his drink came. After that he played maybe 2 hands the whole time I was there. The one he showed down was pretty weak but he ended up winning.

After a bit a guy who I will call Bad Azz Niggah came and sad down. Now I do not mean this as a racial insult. I just describe people as I see them. He was a bald black guy with a huge attitude. He sat down and scowled at the whole table. He thought he was a playah. At first he bet at some pots. Always splashing his chips all over the place. He hit some amazing flops and won alot of money. However he soon showed his true colors and became the donator he was destined to be. I am sorry people but 1/2 NL at Foxwoods is not a good place to try and push people out of hands or call down every hand with nothing. Nobody folds which is good. It means you need to adjust your game and get rid of the power bluffing moves. You just do not need them. Nobody told this guy. I will say though that he opened the table up real good.

I would like to report that I playing a magnificent game. I think the last time I played there were times where I played awesome and other points where I played poorly. In this game I played rarely and the cards just decided to co-operate with me. I basically played about three big hands all night.

The game started out pretty lack luster. When you have 100$ buyin max, 1/2 blinds, and 15-20$ pre-flop raises you can not really play any poker until you chip up. I started the night after paying time and the blinds by losing a few small hands. I was down to $65 and I was feeling a little down. I then was dealt pocket 8's. I usually play my small pockets weak and try and hit a flop but this time I decided to raise them and push the flop. I would only have $45 left behind so barring a bad flop I would push and see what happened. I got called by Bad Azz and the Asian kid and the flop came A34. I decide to semi-bluff push and see what happens. Any bet I made besides a push would leave me committed anyways so why not. I place my remaining $45 into the center and I get called by the same two guys. I assume someone has an Ace and I am fucked. I am getting ready to rebuy when the dealer slides the whole pot over to me. My pocket eights actually held up. My mood perks up considerably as I have now gotten up to $145.

The next big hand I get involved in blew my mind completely. I look down and see my only big pocket pair of the night. I have the ladies. The Hilton sisters. Either they fuck you or they fuuuck you. Almost the entire table limps in and I am in the blind so I decide it is better to win a smallish pot than to fuck around with the ladies. So I raise it to $40 pre-flop. I kid you not here. I get five callers. FIVE!!! I mean what the fucking hell do you have to bet to get anyone to fold? The pot pre-flop is like two hundred dollars on a 100/NL table. Sick. The flop comes Qxx thank god. Instead of fucking around I lead out for $50. In hindsite this was a good bet but I should have expected to be called by more than one person. The pot was big enough. I only got called by Bad Azz and he mucked his hand on the river. The runner-runner-Aces were a little scary but my boat held up.

I am now up over $250 and I am enjoying myself at this table. Bad Azz and the Asian kid have rebought 3-4 times each. The steroid guy has rebought at least twice. A couple of semi-solid players have gotten some nice chips. I then get involved in the hand that Bad Azz berates me about. He had been pretty quiet about people's play up until this point. The whole table limps in and I am one off the button. I have Q7h and decide to limp myself. The flop comes 66T with two hearts. The guy in first position bets $10, I cold call, and Bad Azz does also. The turn is a blank and the first position fellow bets out $10 again. I cold call again and Bad Azz raised to $26. So it is $16 for me to call. The guy in first position calls. So at least $40 is in the pot possibly slightly more and it is $16 for me to call with a flush draw. Um. Why not? The river completes my flush and I bet out $15 to try and get both guys to call me. The Bad Azz calls and the other guy ends up mucking. I flip over my flush and Bad Azz instantly starts berating me and bemoaning how his trip 6's could have possibly lost. I had to laugh. Although I will admit when someone yells at you in a live game it is alot more uncomfortable than online. I tried to mention odds to the guy but he was not listening. So I shut up and scooped my chips in. It is not my job to teach people how to play. If I am going to teach it will be by example as I take their money.

I was now up three buyins -- $300 profit. I did something that I normally never would do. I finished my orbit and racked up. I left. I was feeling good. I had won $317 in total so why not leave on a good note. I left the poker room.. took my extra $17 and played some slots, video poker, and a Star Wars penny slot machine. The Star Wars slot RULED! I had the best time with it. Normally I LOVE pulling the handle for a slot machine. The boring push-button machines piss me off. The Star Wars machine had lights, video, side games, and scenes from the movies. I LOVED it! MOST FUN EVER! I basically broke even at the -EV games, spent a few bucks on dinner at Subways and called it a night. Live poker rules!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

So Tired..

Spent last night fretting over my Fantasy Football team. I have no idea why I care as I suck at Fantasy Football and getting the 12th pick AND THEN having my leading RB go down for the season is not a good start. I am playing Drewspop in the opener. He has one of the better teams. I left him a smack comment telling him I hope his RB fucking breaks both legs. First pick motherfucker.

I finally agree with something Duggles says: "Telaat, you are a fucking moron". Enough said. I will delete any comment you post. Fucking ask if you want some linkage and then I might do something but when you leave your scumbag comments all over my blog I feel like kicking your ass. It takes me all of 5 seconds to click on the email and delete all of your stupid posts anyways. Fucker.

I am in love with 7-Card Stud hi-lo. I have no idea why. It is so much fun. I was two tabling last night and had a modest win of 1.5 buyins or something. I think I can do better. I think I have a decent conceptual idea of the game but I suck. Luckily my opponents suck worse. I think my game has improved alot by just folding semi-ok hands like K23 2-s00ted. It is a fucked up hand that you will not know where you are in until like 5th street. Then you have two cards to draw to a better hand. My thinking before was it had a chance to scoop. I find it better to play the A56 hands and hope to back into a straight. Nothing is better the scooping a huge pot. I had a few nice hands last night but the wheel feels real good.

I still have issues with folding semi-good draws late. Like if I start with A67 and there are a couple of people with low cards and I brick 4th and they do not. I so want to see that one more card.. should I? I could be drawing to a worse low and I now need to catch on 2 of the 3 remaining streets. I think folding is better here. I may have to send some of my boys some emails like Hoy and The Rooster. I am not sure how profitable Stud hi-lo can be? Does anyone out there make the majority of their money playing this online? Can 2/4 and 5/10 or higher be profitable? Should I just look at it as a fun way to pass some time? I dunno but it is a fun game.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Welcome Home Motherfucker

First the vacation. Even though it rained most days we got several good beach days in as well as some bike action. No not motorcycle Kitty but my little girl is well on her way to being a biker like you. You should see her zoom around in her training wheels. It was very relaxing and lead me into my first day at the new job very nicely. No poker for over a week. Did not really miss it as I had fun tilting off my remaining few hundred at Full Tilt before I left. I think I like live cash games and online tourneys. Although I may change my mind.

The first day was all the usual. I had two security guys named Mutt and Jeff who fingerprinted me, printed up badges, and all that shit. I then got to play with all the biz analyst biotches and had a pretty boring day. I think my email worked by 2:00. I need to wait until tomorrow for the rest.

So I played the WWDN and went out middle-late pack. Semi-Bluff raised at the wrong times and had a hand or two where either I had to push or I had enough odds to call a push. Oh well. I then played the 10$/10-minute round game on Stars. It was great for a while. I outlasted 1200 people and was 4th of 250 with 99 paying until I got royally fucked. Now I wont say I did not do my share of fucking people in this game. However this was nasty. I had AQ vs KQ. I raised pre-flop and when the QTx flop came down I raised his lead out bet to 4K and he re-raised me all in. So I was ahead and he was drawing to a gutshot or a king. Pretty good spot for me. I like being an 85% favorite until of course he turns a Jack for the gutshot. Ouch. *sigh*. I then did the worse thing possible and tilted off my remaining 13K with TP. I could have made a comeback with the blinds at 600 and my stack at 13K but instead I let the angry monster come out. Oh well. Someday!