Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Fuck You Hoyazo

You know i would never let you get away with donking those chips to mookie's pf allin with your 95o. thats the most blatant attempt to throw a prop bet of ALL time man. you should be ashamed. who would ever pay you up on that bet after you did that?
-- Hoyazo

First I take him out because he never saw a fucking top pair he did not love more than life itself the fucking donkey.

Full Tilt Poker Game #9789730863: The Mookie (73695342), Table 2 - 25/50 - No Limit Hold'em - 21:24:27 ET - 2008/12/31
Seat 1: smokkee (3,285)
Seat 2: jeciimd (5,100)
Seat 3: Erin26 (2,990)
Seat 4: Numbette (810)
Seat 5: love_elf (3,195)
Seat 6: Maniac57 (3,080)
Seat 8: hoyazo (2,780)
Seat 9: Big Blueberry (2,610)
hoyazo posts the small blind of 25
Big Blueberry posts the big blind of 50
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Maniac57 [9d Jd]
smokkee folds
jeciimd has 15 seconds left to act
smokkee: had to play the mOOk to get a little 69 action
jeciimd folds
Erin26 folds
Numbette folds
love_elf folds
Numbette: dont we all
Maniac57 raises to 150
smokkee: LOL
hoyazo has 15 seconds left to act
hoyazo calls 125
Big Blueberry folds
*** FLOP *** [8s 6s Qc]
hoyazo bets 260
Maniac57 calls 260
*** TURN *** [8s 6s Qc] [Tc]
hoyazo has 15 seconds left to act
hoyazo bets 650
Maniac57 raises to 2,670, and is all in
hoyazo: wow you SO have KQ.
hoyazo has 15 seconds left to act
Maniac57: no J9
Maniac57: der
Maniac57: idiot
hoyazo calls 1,720, and is all in
Maniac57 shows [9d Jd]
hoyazo shows [Qs Ad]
Uncalled bet of 300 returned to Maniac57
*** RIVER *** [8s 6s Qc Tc] [Ks]
Maniac57 shows a straight, King high
hoyazo shows a pair of Queens
Maniac57 wins the pot (5,610) with a straight, King high
smokkee: lmao
hoyazo stands up
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 5,610 | Rake 0
Board: [8s 6s Qc Tc Ks]
Seat 1: smokkee didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: jeciimd didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: Erin26 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: Numbette didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: love_elf didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: Maniac57 (button) showed [9d Jd] and won (5,610) with a straight, King high
Seat 8: hoyazo (small blind) showed [Qs Ad] and lost with a pair of Queens
Seat 9: Big Blueberry (big blind) folded before the Flop

I mean I tell the fucking retard what I have and he can not fold. These fucking "good" players keep telling me floating and jamming my gutter does not pay but these same good players keep stacking off with top pair. Fucking retards. Learn to play. I know having more money than brains helps you win but don't whine when you make a bad fucking play.

Full Tilt Poker Game #9790099478: The Mookie (73695342), Table 2 - 50/100 - No Limit Hold'em - 21:55:03 ET - 2008/12/31
Seat 1: smokkee (4,970)
Seat 2: jeciimd (5,690)
Seat 3: Erin26 (5,445)
Seat 5: love_elf (3,415)
Seat 6: Maniac57 (3,370)
Seat 7: mookie99 (1,610), is sitting out
Seat 9: Big Blueberry (2,085)
Maniac57 posts the small blind of 50
mookie99 posts the big blind of 100
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Maniac57 [5h 9d]
Maniac57: lol
Big Blueberry folds
smokkee folds
smokkee: read your soul
Maniac57: I had J9 s00ted
smokkee: :D
jeciimd has 15 seconds left to act
mookie99 has returned
Maniac57: coulda been hearts
Maniac57: lol
jeciimd folds
Erin26 folds
love_elf folds
Maniac57 calls 50
mookie99 has 15 seconds left to act
mookie99 raises to 1,610, and is all in
Maniac57: why not
Maniac57: lol
Maniac57 calls 1,510
mookie99 shows [As Qs]
Maniac57 shows [5h 9d]
smokkee: shoulda been hearts
*** FLOP *** [Td Ks 2d]
Maniac57: whee race
*** TURN *** [Td Ks 2d] [8c]
*** RIVER *** [Td Ks 2d 8c] [3h]
mookie99 shows Ace King high
Maniac57 shows King Ten high
mookie99 wins the pot (3,220) with Ace King high
Maniac57: goddamit
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 3,220 | Rake 0
Board: [Td Ks 2d 8c 3h]
Seat 1: smokkee didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: jeciimd didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: Erin26 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: love_elf (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: Maniac57 (small blind) showed [5h 9d] and lost with King Ten high
Seat 7: mookie99 (big blind) showed [As Qs] and won (3,220) with Ace King high
Seat 9: Big Blueberry didn't bet (folded)

So then this play comes up. I figured I was racing with Mookie. Possibly I had drunk a bit much at four beers. Who the fuck knows. I have made much worse plays than this with a lot more chips than the raiser. As it turns out I was not much behind. Point being I just played my hand.

Next thing I know Hoyazo is accusing me of dumping chips to Mookie. All I can assume is that a multi accounter that cheats and plays on a cheater site must think everyone is as corrupt as he is. Fucking retarded bastard. I am really insulted that he thinks I would cheat for Mookie. I am more than willing to admit it was a bad call but I had no thoughts of helping Mookie in either hand. I had a lot of fun laughing at Hoyazo stacking off with top pair but I did not make the float call for Mookie either.

I guess I can understand a morally corrupt person thinking everyone else is as rotten as he is but I hate that fucking shit. Perhaps I am being hard on Hoyazo. I have defended him in the past for some of his somewhat shady moves. I really thought he was a good guy and gave him the benefit of the doubt. I guess you guys were probably right though. Just another long line of scumbags who assumes everyone is like them.

Software Question

I played one of the 1800 FTP SNGs last night. Very soft. Nice game. However I have a question and am looking for volunteers to help me answer it. Now the way I understand FT software to work. If two people go in at the same time, it uses chip size pre-flop to decided who went out first. However lets say we got nine people together. We all jammed all in first hand. Pre-flop at least 7 of us are even in chips. One guy will win the hand so he gets a token. How does it decided the other six. It is only supposed to give out three tokens. Would it put everyone else in a tie for second and pay out six tokens? Have I discovered a flaw in the software? Anyone with 1800 Full Tilt points want to answer this intriguing question? I sure as hell would like to know.


The perfect way to end the year in Poker. Sitting back. Relaxing with that lotsser Mookie as he tries his best to beat Hoyazo and win their bet. Playing nonsense poker with people who can barely spell the word. Ahh. Would not trade it for anything. Remember the Mookie starts an HOUR earlier tonight. Get yourself registered. Should be fun. Mookie said he moved it up so that "The game would end before Midnight". How you like that Tragedy? Fun times.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

New Plan

So I am like break even again. Which is always fun. I am going to play the Skillz game tonight. It is Razz for anyone who is interested. I am playing just to frustrate Pirate Lawyer. Statistically he has never won when I have played. BOOOOM!

I have decided that I need a new Poker Strategy. I think these book authors have corrupted me. They started me out on that shit "AA is awesome dude, Raise AK get value".. you should win with these hands. Pssshawww. I have gone 0-10 in my last freaking ten Kings. I mean cmon. Lousy hands. So now I am beginning to suspect that they lied about bankroll management. Have you ever watched an episode of High Stakes Poker? They are all like "Yeah, I lost my 80K on Full Tilt then I borrowed like 100K from RichDonkey and then I lost that.. BWAHAHAHA". I mean that does not sound like bankroll management to me.

So fuck it. I am going with my strengths. What are those? I play outside of my bankroll and get fucking lucky a lot. So my new strategy is to play whatever the fuck I want. Who gives a crap about building a bankroll or playing games that are in the range for the bankroll. Fuck that shit. I am going to play whatever the fuck I want to which probably will include some nice full bankroll $500 HU SNG play somewhere along the lines. The one change I am going to make is when I donk into a nice big win I am going to cash half of it out. I mean I am not trying to build a bankroll so I might as well enjoy the money. So this is my new plan. Huge swings both ways. Money coming out constantly. Being broke most of the time. It seems like a fun idea.

Also the BBT4 is coming up. If I need to remind anyone I fucking killed it last year. So if anyone wants to work out a backing deal let me know. If there is one thing I do well it is fucking kill Bloggerments. Last year my backer double his investment. BOOYAH! So hurry up before Bodogs favorite professional poker player gets scooped up.

Peace out.

Monday, December 29, 2008

NYRambler Champion

You are a super donkey
-- Pirate Lawyer

*yawn*. Won one. Whee. Early on I should have been out when I tried to bluff a guy off of a set on the turn. Lucky for me I rivered my flush. I then owned PL in LHE when we were down to three. Pulling off not ONE not TWO but TWO, oh yeah, it was TWO, TWO BLUFFS. Do you know how hard that is in LHE? I was in his head bad. Finally we got HU in Omatard and I scooped twice with some really weak top pair hands. He was crippled down to 1700 and after that it was AFC (Any four cards). Was kinda fun to play.. but Poker is still in the shit house with me. I have always hated the fact you can do the most donkish things that are totally wrong and still win. I know this is a wrong way to think but I hate that shit so bad. Ah well. Peace.


I often wonder how people become bat shit crazy. I do not think that they are bright and cheery one day and the next day they wake up and burn down their ex-wives houses dressed as santy clause and shoot little eight year olds. I assume it has to be a general, ongoing process, that finally wears you down and walla you are bat shit crazy. Some days I wonder how long it will take me to go off the deep end.

I obviously do not feel crazy at the moment but do crazy people look at themselves and say "Oh man you are crazy". I sort of doubt it. Possibly that comes afterwards. Which is why they end up with bullets in their heads saving us the legal costs of a trial and incarceration. It just must finally click "Holly crap I am crazy! What the fuck did I just do!" *BLAM*.

Some days I wonder if I am wandering down the path to crazyhood (crazitude?). I would hope that I would not become one of the violent crazies. I would like to think I am more the bum on the street talking to himself crazy. I sort of even feel guilty when I crush that spider in the bathroom. I wonder if he had a good life. If I just orphaned his children. Poor spider. Are you in the abyss of blackness? Did I shorten your days. I am truly sorry to you.

I think I should be grateful for everything in my life. I have a lot going for me. I am skilled enough in my job to make gobs of money. I can fuck around with my employers and come in whenever I want. I can piss off and write crap all day long on the web. Since I am talented and can do what counts: get the job done. I have two really beautiful children. They probably keep me sane more than anything else. The boy is a lot like me which is kind of scary. The girl is so different that it is amazing. Fucking cute as hell. I love them a ton.

Some days I think I would be happier if I had a hobby like drinking or heroine. I mean at least I would be doing something. I could see the root cause of my destruction and know why I was self destructing. Perhaps I just want a good excuse. Something to blame.

Somehow though I have disconnected from life and living. I am undead if you will. Walking through the waking world with no feeling, no attachment. Just watching the days click off of the calendar. Each black day merging into the next. Rarely connecting with anyone or anything. I basically eat, drink, make money, wait for it all to be over. Head down the slope toward madness. Perhaps I have already jumped off the deep end and have yet to realize it. I sleep very little. I have no energy. Nothing is enjoyable past a few fleeting moments. Food tastes like ash. Which could be due to my wife's cooking but possible not. I just can't feel anything.

I think my spiral towards insanity keeps ticking off year after year. As I notice myself become more dysfunctional as time passes. I know, amazing thought, me more dysfunctional. I have no idea where this slide will end. I suppose none of us really do. Have yourselves a happy New Years though.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a ttoal mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Hoyazo Was Right

The Wii is good exercise for the fat exercised depraved person I have become. We got the Boy a Wii for Christmas. I tried Baseball. No problems. I played Boxing. I now have two sore arms and I think I dislocated my knee. Was fun though.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Even pretend poker hates me..

** KK vs A9. Raised Pre-flop. Potted the flop. Ace on the turn. Pot committed.

Happy Holidays

The Santa Tracking site using Google and Norad is pretty funny. You can click on videos and see where the fat man has been spotted.

I was going to kill my wife before Christmas. Omg I was so pissed last night. She calls me at work around six and asks if I can stay an extra hour so she could socialize with her friend. So I say no problem but be at the train station on time. So I get to the train at 7:30 and no wife. It is around six degrees out. I am not dressed particularly warmly. I wait an hour for her. Then I get fed up and go to McDonalds to call her. Of course the phone at the restaurant is buried in ten feet of snow. I grab a hot coco and hoof it over to the supermarket. I call her. She is like "Oops I forgot". Then she is like "Well why did you stand out in the cold so long, it is all your fault retard". Fucking drunk bitch I wanted to slap her silly. At least she was a little bit repentant today.

Hope she likes her earnings. The kids made me buy her something for Christmas. So I picked up some pearl earrings. At least I think they are pearls. They kinda look like them. Sorta. I think. Ah well. Fuck it. She better like them the kids nagged the fuck out of me for them.

We were talking about Jewish holidays today. I told JMan that he could get a gift for eight days if he celebrated Chanukah. Probably got the number wrong seeing as there is a single candle in the middle. So my wife was like "You know nothing about Jewish Holidays". I know all about Chanukah because I got gifts. So she pulls out this obscure Yon Kippur thingy. Who the hell ever heard of that? So being the fast thinker I am I say "Yon Kippoor is Jewish for When we were poor, and it celebrates dark days before the Jews got filthy rich". Am I close? She did not think so. Then she asked about Rushashana so I was like "That celebrates the great Saint Rushy Shanny who invented Mutsa Ball Soup and all the Jews rejoiced". Even though I went to Jewish camp she did not beleive me. Ah well. Perhaps I will figure out what these holidays really mean before F-Train gets a Steak or a Blowjob.

Peace out and have fun. See any of you who make the Mookie tonight. Should be a fun one.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Julius Goat

I just do not get Julius Goat. I understand everyone thinks is he is awesome and stuff all I really get is blah blah blah stupid tv show blah blah blah. I guess I am not as sophisticated as people who do get him and say things like Balls. Mouth. You. It also confuses me that he is not married to the Goat Lady.

PETA Cruel to Animals

See this sexy bimbotis-sexyitus. That is the latin name for this hot number. PETA has put her out in the cold with nothing on. Talk about cruelty to animals. If you want to see more bikini clad chicks in winter weather go check out the article.


Wow. Interesting post at Pokerati. I am not sure how to confirm that these hands really happened but apparently the idiots who thought a "Super User" feature was good in a software product also can not figure out how to pay the right people out. Perhaps this is how Hoyazo is winning? haha. Just kidding Bro. You got them mad MTT skillz.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Ultimate Bet and Absolute

Mondogarage had an interesting post in response to Hoyazo and Ultimate Bet. On the one hand Hoyazo is only concerned about making money from a weak ass site. Good poker fundamentals there. I can side up with him there. Mondogarage goes on to make some potentially good hypothetical points about the slippery slope of playing on a cheating site.

I think the main reason to not play on Ultimate Bet or Absolute poker is the one we have sported since the inception of online poker. You know what I am talking about right? You read through those forum posts where someone thinks they were cheated but honestly they suck or just got unlucky. The whole forum swarms the OP and tells him he is an idiot. The responding commenters in between gay momma jokes and pictures of naked donkeys make the point "It is in the sites best interest to keep the game clean because they will not make money if they are found to be cheating".

Think about that. If they are cheating they will not make money. The people playing on those sites will go away. There are too many clean sites for people to play on for people to put up with shit like that.

Now fast forward to the reality. Players will go to wherever they think they have an edge. If nobody cares if a site is cheating and good players like Hoyazo and Chad will still play at these sites then there is absolutely no reason for these sites to not cheat. Sure if they get caught there might be a quick whiplash effect. If this is not going to be a lasting shutdown of the site then what is the point.

I do not begrudge Hoyazo or Chad for making a killing. In poker you are really in it for yourself. I do think it would be a much better and safer online environment if people cared a little about the entire state of poker and shut down sites like UB and Absolute. Several bloggers have made their way to these sites recently and it just proves that there really is no reason for these sites to not cheat us all. So keep on cheating. Nobody cares.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

JJOK You Pussy

You call that a bad beat? Jesus man. At least your boy had two pair. Check this shit out. This was the end of my domination of the first half of this MTT.

Full Tilt Poker Game #9599042485: $8 + $0.80 Tournament (73185602), Table 8 - 50/100 - No Limit Hold'em - 19:21:56 ET - 2008/12/20
Seat 1: Wischnu (7,155)
Seat 2: Bhaal89 (2,410)
Seat 3: GeeLoco (2,050)
Seat 4: GrvlassisAA (4,930)
Seat 5: freelance95 (3,390)
Seat 6: Caps1207 (4,175)
Seat 7: coolBIF (2,336)
Seat 8: Maniac57 (14,185)
Seat 9: DamageHim (6,087)
Caps1207 posts the small blind of 50
coolBIF posts the big blind of 100
The button is in seat #4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Maniac57 [Ah Kd]
Maniac57 raises to 300
DamageHim calls 300
Wischnu folds
Bhaal89 folds
GeeLoco folds
GrvlassisAA has 15 seconds left to act
GrvlassisAA folds
Caps1207 folds
coolBIF folds
*** FLOP *** [5d Ks 3h]
Maniac57 bets 600
DamageHim calls 600
*** TURN *** [5d Ks 3h] [8d]
Maniac57 bets 1,200
DamageHim raises to 2,400
Maniac57 raises to 13,285, and is all in
DamageHim calls 2,787, and is all in
Maniac57 shows [Ah Kd]
DamageHim shows [Ad Td]
Uncalled bet of 8,098 returned to Maniac57
*** RIVER *** [5d Ks 3h 8d] [Qd]
Maniac57 shows a pair of Kings
DamageHim shows a flush, Ace high
DamageHim wins the pot (12,324) with a flush, Ace high
Maniac57: LOL
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 12,324 | Rake 0
Board: [5d Ks 3h 8d Qd]
Seat 1: Wischnu didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: Bhaal89 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: GeeLoco didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: GrvlassisAA (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: freelance95 is sitting out
Seat 6: Caps1207 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 7: coolBIF (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 8: Maniac57 showed [Ah Kd] and lost with a pair of Kings
Seat 9: DamageHim showed [Ad Td] and won (12,324) with a flush, Ace high

Friday, December 19, 2008

Fifth Worst Loser

That is me. Took fifth in the Blowdog last night. Meh. Fifth loser is still a loser. Tonight I will try and break even with my new found Bodog winnings. Congratz to Chad for starting a new blog. Also winning the Bodog TOC. The guy plays a mean game of poker. Too bad he is such an asshole.

A couple of my predictions came true. When Hoyazo sat at our table on the final table bubble I predicted he would not make the final table. I was totally right as he donked off his entire stack with top pair of sevens with a shit kicker. Dipshit. Love you man!

I also predicted Smokkee to fold to the Bubble. Bingo. Remember what I wrote last week? You know about Smokee folding every hand then looking down and seeing that awesome AJo and donking the fuck out of the tourney. Bingo. He would have went out sooner if Stb had not gifted him chips on the fawking fives. I guess he had never played with Smokee before as the pre-flop raise screamed fucking Aces or Kings to everyone else.

I predicted the final three being Don, Stb and I. Missed the boat there. Although I was able to make the money I finally had to jam T8h into Stb who had AQ. I am totally fine with the move but should have done it way earlier and way more often. I did have a top stack deep but the shorties kept doubling up. Of course the lucksack not only jams against a raise and a re-raise with AQ but he hits a boat. I kinda think AQ is a shitty hand when APOSEC raises early but he had the chips to waste and since APOSEC folded he must have been ahead. All in all I think Stb played a good game. He was fortunate to be gifted a shit load of chips early but that is nothing to hold against him.

Last but not least many thanks to Nadia for being sexy. Seriously I would so do her. No but really I am not sure how many of you realize that the Bodog tourney is pretty much done because of all the hard work she puts in week after week. She twists those cheap bastards arms and creates what is a REALLY good tourney for bloggers. She even has to suck up to Smokee. She should get overtime for that. I mean for the 30-50 people we got per game Bodog putting up 3-4K or more in cash is pretty damn good. I think these things have been a lot of fun and hopefully we will have another series really soon.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


I am not sure if I am more interested in what this story means to online poker or the fact that Party Poker was founded by Mr. Dikshit. Anyway go ahead and read and let me know what you think. Obviously those that know me will agree that I am more fascinated by Mr. Dikshit.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Packers Stink, Stank, Stunk?

Headline: "Strange Odor Lingers Over Region". C'mon, I know the Packers have stunk recently, but that's just mean [Amusing]

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Which City

This is kinda funny since I chose North East and Seasons.

American Cities That Best Fit You:

65% Austin

60% Atlanta

55% Denver

55% Las Vegas

55% Miami

Saturday, December 13, 2008


Forgive me poker gods it has been four days since my last explosion. I have relegated myself to poker hell in the bankroll safe 10/NL games. Please forgive me as I forgive the donkeys who I play against. Forever and ever. Ahhh-Shit.


OMFG! This was so bothering me last night. Would any of you do anything different here? I mean I really felt that I was beat but it did not make sense. I am trying not to call of stacks but I do have the second nut here. Am I insane for folding? It basically would have either given me a $25 night as opposed to the $5 night I actually had. Are these the big folds you need to make or are these the spots you just have to say fuck it.

Full Tilt Poker Game #9465343255: Table La Jolla - $0.05/$0.10 - No Limit Hold'em - 23:51:23 ET - 2008/12/12
Seat 1: pokerdyoung ($9.75)
Seat 2: Maniac57 ($26.20)
Seat 3: SNSECRIST ($10.40)
Seat 4: pushmonkey72 ($29.25)
Seat 5: benpalmer661 ($3.70)
Seat 6: Wired King ($10.15)
Seat 7: Teteban ($2.65)
Seat 8: xivann ($2)
Teteban posts the small blind of $0.05
xivann posts the big blind of $0.10
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Maniac57 [Qh Ts]
AdHeMiR sits down
pokerdyoung has 15 seconds left to act
AdHeMiR adds $2
pokerdyoung folds
Maniac57 raises to $0.30
pushmonkey72 calls $0.30
benpalmer661 folds
Wired King has 15 seconds left to act
Wired King folds
Teteban calls $0.25
xivann folds
*** FLOP *** [Kd 9d Js]
Teteban checks
Maniac57 checks
pushmonkey72 bets $0.65
Teteban folds
Maniac57 calls $0.65
*** TURN *** [Kd 9d Js] [Th]
Maniac57 checks
pushmonkey72 bets $1.50
Maniac57 raises to $4.50
pushmonkey72 raises to $28.30, and is all in
Maniac57 has 15 seconds left to act
Maniac57 has requested TIME
Maniac57 folds
Uncalled bet of $23.80 returned to pushmonkey72
pushmonkey72 shows [7h 2h] King Jack high
pushmonkey72 wins the pot ($10.20)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $11.30 | Rake $1.10
Board: [Kd 9d Js Th]
Seat 1: pokerdyoung didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: Maniac57 folded on the Turn
Seat 3: SNSECRIST didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: pushmonkey72 collected ($10.20)
Seat 5: benpalmer661 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: Wired King (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: Teteban (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 8: xivann (big blind) folded before the Flop

Friday, December 12, 2008

Fade the Waffles

Only because I love you guys. Here are my picks for this Sunday. Fade at will. Not sure I am reading these lines right but I think maybe I am..

Tampa Bay at Atlanta (ATL by 1.5)
Atlanta all the way bayybeee. Falcons can fly and shit. Right? I think Atlanta has more to play for and will score or something. Um. Yeah. That's it. Tampa might have the better record but what does that mean right? erm.

Washington at Cincinatti (CIN by 9)
Washington has been totally inconsistent buy Cincinatti has been consistently horrible. Sorry Iggy! So I will take Washington to cover. Don is cheering madly now because he likes the dogs.

Seattle at St. Louis (Even)
Two suck teams with nothing to play for. This should be a fun game. I will give the nod to Seattle.

San Fransisco at Miami (MIA by 2)
I like Miami at home here. Again two horrible teams. I think Miami got caught up by some injury. They suck anyways. Since they are at home though I will give them the edge.

Buffalo at Jets (Jets by 5)
Jet's are favored here and Buffalo is all kinds of fucked up but I think they will pull of a surprise win for pride sake. Brett will be the good ole Farve we all know and love and throw ten picks and Buffalo will crush the hapless Jets.

Detroit at Indy (Indy by 11)
Hahaha! Are you serious? I should pick the Lions just to test my cooler powers. However I have to go with Indy here. I think the Lions get crushed despite the high line.

San Diego at Kansas City (San Diego by 3)
Wow. This shows how far the Chargers have fallen. I mean only favored by three against a shit team. Wow you guys sucks this year. I will take the Chargers here just because it is win-win either way.

Green Bay at Jacksonville (GB by 1)
This one is actually complicated. I keep seeing Samba panties and do not want to ruin my chances when the Wife is 79 and the good Doc has gone to heaven to get some of that old lady pootang. I will pick Green Bay because I love the panties!

Tennessee at Houston (Tenn by 2)
Who set this line? Fuck I know the titans have absolutely nothing to play for but by two? Nah. Fuck no. They will kill Houston.

Minnesota at Arizona (ARI by 2)
Drizz hanging out getting served by the Wife. Wow. How can he lose. I pick thee Minnesota! Go get them SKOOOOALLL!!!!!

Denver at Carolina (Car by 5)
I will take the Home team here and predict the Carolina win.

Pittsburgh at Baltimore (Bal by 1)
Pittsburgh all the way. Baltimore will not be able to score and the Steelers will scoop one out.

New England at Oakland (NE by 4)
Sucky shithead Oakland is doomed. They will die. See you losers next year.

New York Giants at Dallas (Giants by 2)
I am going Giants all the way. Dallas sucks and is overrated. They will get crushed the morons.

Alright so enjoy fading the Waffles baby. Have fun everyone. Wish I could be there but it just could not happen this year. I have a ton of shit going on like Wife Laid Off, Car Broke Down, and we have a release next Monday which might be incompatible with the Red Eye. Peace out and have a few for me.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

What's the point..

Seriously I come to this place often but what is the point in poker for the majority of people. I mean if your a crazy maniac who is back from his sabbatical and can win and lose houses in the course of a month then I can see a point. Even the donks that win some big MTT games then give it all back until their next big win.. I can kind of see how taking down ten or twenty gees in a night could be fun. I can totally see the point for people minting money. What is the point for normal people though. Us average people who play a night. Who have successful day jobs.

I mean seriously. I talk to a lot of you. I listen to your blogs. I see it over and over. You win some money. You give a bunch back on a downturn. Then you get back to even maybe.. or you downspin a little. Always hanging in there like a drowning puppy but never really getting anywhere.

I dunno. I just do not see the point in poker.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I give up

Poker sucks. I am never going to win anything good. Fuck poker. I started blowing off my bankroll at 2/4 but sorta made a hundred or two so I will try to bust out again tomorrow night. See ya.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008


Seventeenth in the Big Thingy B whatever the fuck its called. Fucking stupid shit tourney. I ended up losing a big pot with QQ vs 44 which would have given me enough chips to be more patient. I then got it in with close to ten blinds with Tens and the big stack had Aces. I think I probably have to jam there but it did suck balls. Oh well.

Point and Counter Point

I read Carmen's outrage earlier in the case of Brianna Broitzman, 19, and Ashton Larson, 18. If you have not read about this you can check it out with included "I would so do her" pics. I then went to resident expert Super Stoner's blog and found out the following.

Las Vegas Hookers
Spat upon $12.50
Spanked $35/hr
Improperly touched $5 per touch
Bare butt in the face $75 ($125 with the Shocker)
Bathe $25/hr
Erection $125
Finger up Ass $250

Now I am no math genius but I calculate at least a few hundred dollars in extras for absolutely free. In my opinion this is a GREAT service. This could be a whole new concept in elder care if you will.. the "Happy Endings" ending care center. So let's start a campaign to free these entrepreneurial hotts and give old people a reason to smile again.

Blowdog Tonight

A bounty on Iggy's head. Should be a blast. The drunken fool may even avoid falling off his seat for the entire tourney.. weirder things have happened. See you there. Oh yeah and there is also a bounty on Foldy McPussies head too. Watch as he folds hand after hand until he finally gets that ATo he has been waiting all game for and jams it into the EP raiser then whines about how unlucky he is that the guy had Aces.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

My Baby the Carnivore

Often times I read Vegan sites and they are "IF children knew what was in their food they would all become Vegans". Like they would be horrified. The other morning I am cooking eggs and bacon. My lovely daughter comes up and says "YUMMY CHICKENS!".. then she commands me "MAKE ME PIGGIES DADDY!". So much for that theory.

Saturday, December 06, 2008


I really wanted to bust that guy but someone else got him. If you look at the picture you can see me saying his avatar is FUUUGLY! I also asked if he was that ugly in person and said he looked like the bastard child of Fester and some retard. So not all was lost.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Oh Captain My Captain!

I was talking to Oh Captain today. He was apologizing for his Animal hate! GO VEGANS! Anyway we go to commiserating and I told him I would post a link to my Doom story again. Just a little flash from the past. Non-Nerds should find this funny also.

A Tale of Two Blogs

Here there were some filthy lies spewed about me. However they were corrected here.

Few Points

Squeeezed out a few points in the Bodog last night. I bumped up to 7th place in the leaderboard just behind my boy MiamiDon. He took down second place to add to his collection of Bodog wins. NewInNov pulled off another impressive win also. I got semi-coolered with four left. SB vs BB action my AT vs Don's AK. He asked why I did not just raise the normal 3xBB but with him aggro monkeying with 35o I figured a jam was the better move. Make him play for all his chips. He unfortunately actually had a hand. Oh well. Next up will be NY Ramblers game. Sheesssh they give anyone a game these days.

*** UPDATE: Apparently it was Hoyazo who won. I got faulty IM information. Good job Hoy!

Thursday, December 04, 2008


Online Poker

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This PokerStars tournament is a No Limit Texas Hold’em event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 106654

All Out War Baby!

I am declaring all out war for the end of the year. I am currently second on the Mookie Board, like ninth in the Blowdoggy and have yet to play a NY Rambler Bronx Bitch Slap. I am also a top five in the Skillz even though I have only played like three games.

Have you seen the leader boards in these? They read as follows.

Smokkee - Big mouth who whines every time he jams his hand way behind on the flop and loses because you "hit your miracle flop". Learn to fold sometime stud. Speaking of the Bodog tourney check out the prop bet odds in the sports section. I think they really overvalued me.

Pirate Lawyer - OMG! He thinks he is the Phil Ivy of every game. He complains about every bad call ever made since third grade. Really, he told me, this one time, in the play ground when he had rolled up Aces..

LJ - Queen of the aggro donks. I love LJ and model my MTT play after her these days. However that bitch is going down! I failed to win my prop bet but she is NOT staying on the top of the Mookie leader board. No way in hell.

IIATGwhatchamacallit? - Who the fuck is this. I am totally going to play the NY Rambler for the rest of the month.

We all know ALL OF the leaderboards should all say Waffles. Every single one of them. So here I go on all out war to take down these motherfuckers just in time for Christmas. The field in the Skillz game is really small so I may not be able to knock off the Lawyer until next year but the rest are attainable.


My son was hilarious this morning. He was walking down the hallway and he turns to me and say "Sharon Sharon get me my shoes" in a dead on Ozzy Osborne imitation. Cracked me up.

The gaggle of kids on my train were less amusing. Especially that little perv kid that was grinding on me the whole ride. Scummy bastard. Must have been French.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008


I took second. Kinda sucks. I really wanted to get first. With this finish I become second this year in cash for the Mookie only exceeded by the Queen LJ. I will get her and her little dog too. The end of the Mookie was kind of disappointing. We were three ways. Jeciimd jams his Kx, I call with Ax, and TBA rightfully rejams with Ax where his x > my x. I correctly folded. However this left me with 10BB and instead of outplaying him like I know I could :P I just had to jam ATC. We ended up going in T9 vs J2 and he spiked a jack. Ah well.

Tomorrow night I will be playing Bodog again. I also downloaded Lock Poker. I am going to give it a try this weekend and will report back. Peace.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008


Went out in 5th after having the top stack for a while. Kinda over committed to top pair straight draw against two pair. Had some outs but meh. This was after I lost a bunch with 77 vs AA on JJ9 flop. Ick. I made the right laydown there. Jamming against the two pair not so good. I also went out just in the money for the 5k Guaranteed. I essentially folded to the money with one suckout 99 vs AA when I was short. I kinda got coolered when I jammed 55 on the button into QQ in the BB. What can you do there? Not sure. I was short so I would do it again. The five on the flop did not help me. What the fuck Fuel you asshole.

South Park Studio

South Park Studio is cool. I remember doing the first one back when Hella Holdem discovered the site. Oh, and Kat, that is not a lightsaber in my pocket I am just glad to see you!

Wow That is Scary

Tina Turner

Tina Turner

OMG! No Way Mad Max would have been able to beat the beast on the top. Scary.

On Sex

CraigsList: almost like someone who has sex for the first time using moves they seen in pornos
SirFWALGMan: hmm I have to disagree
SirFWALGMan: Porno's are an excellent source of technique
SirFWALGMan: I mean you have to know what moves to do and which not to
SirFWALGMan: like if on the first night you whipped it out and came all over her face without asking first that could be bad

On The Veggie Thing

I often think that Veggie people are right on about some of their points but totally over the top on others. For example the latest PETA blog was reminding us that meat is contaminated with all kinds of bacteria. I can agree with that but not as a reason not to eat the meat BECAUSE the majority of food contamination cases I have heard about are FROM FRUITS AND VEGETABLES. Now I am guessing this is because meat is usually well cooked and fruits you just kinda wash and eat. So when the dirty fruit pickers piss in the field and then grab your fruits they pass on all of their disgusting germs. Has anyone else noticed that fruits and vegetables are more often the cause of food bacteria? Is this a plot by the meat industry to hide their cases? Should the veggie people stick to better facts like health and humanity reasons? Do you fucking give a shit?

I got nothing

Fastpitch: you fucking vegan
SirFWALGMan: lol
SirFWALGMan: wish i was fuckin a vegan
Fastpitch: you'd like to fuck a vegan...not a bad idea...most seem to be well built
SirFWALGMan: stick a cucumber up her ass

I am taking a little poker break.. by that I mean I will play the Mookie and the two Blowdogs this week but nothing else. I have been on a small losing streak but more than that I feel like I have been playing too much and losing my mojo. It is good to have mojo. I also will be starting my Vegan ways soon. I was a little lazy in researching things but since the Turkey Holocaust is done (yummy) I can now begin my veggie ways.