Thursday, June 30, 2011

I am going to fucking do it!

It'sssss baaaaacckkk....

A Synopsis of Hoy. Every post he makes will be broken down into readable sentences saving you hours of time. You can then go comment on his blog with confidence. Peace.

Current Thoughts..

Is it bad that I want my wife to kill a pedestrian just so I can be right that she should not drive while staring at her iPhone?

Has procrastination met it's highest level of skill when one buys shoelaces like a month ago and has yet to lace his lace less boots with them?


Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hoyazo Synopsis

I wish that site would come back. Hoyazo Synoposis was the fucking balls. It let you read all the crap Hoyazo had to sprout without having to read 90000 pages.

Here is my attempt at a synopsis of his latest post. "I was right, you all were wrong, I am smarter than any of you. Stop all the plotting and lying behind my back. I know you all are making shit up now to seem as smart as me. I am sorry I was right. (tee hee not really because I am SOOO fucking smart!!)."

Ok. Now that your back from puking into your toilets. It is a shame but it does seem REALLY unlikely that you and I will get our money back from Full Tilt*. If you have not heard yet Full Tilt has had it's license revoked. I would assume this means they have no way of raising any money. Before this happened you could see a possibility of funds coming out of European earnings to pay off American players eventually.. probably would have taken a while but it at least was a small chance.

Without any income it makes it really hard to figure out how they are going to come up with the money they need.

*Full Disclosure: I only lost 200-300 bucks which is like a good night out so not a huge deal for me. I feel bad for the people who lost jobs and thousands of dollars.

D&D Online

Figured I would try it out when that pussy Tragedy invited me to play. ;). Actually it is Poker Enthusiasts fault!! So I am now playing a D&D rules Barbarian. I do not get some of it... like Enhancements... um, what? Have not died yet though so that is good. Game is decent. Will have a better opinion later.

Friday, June 24, 2011

What Would You Do...

I thought that Buffalo Holdem presented some interesting questions in this post.

Here was his premise.

-You are single, with no spouse or significant other.
-You have no children, no dependents and no pets.
-You have no debts.
-You have no illiquid assets other than your personal belongings.
-You have enough savings on hand to maintain your current lifestyle for 4-5 years.
-You have three diseases which are all potentially fatal. One has a 90% mortality rate. Another has a 33% survival rate. The third is manageable but still kills many people.
-Given the most optimistic projection, you have 10 years to live.

It is kind of hard to answer them in general. First off you never really know how you are going to react until you are in that situation. Secondly it is nearly impossible to imagine your life without your children. The little symbiots just change your life so much. With those caveats I will try and answer his questions.

1) How long would you continue your job or career? Do you love your job so much you would continue as long as possible?

Here is where the kid/wife thing interferes. I totally would keep working to save up as much money for them as possible before I died. I also do love my job. I complain a lot about it but programming is a passion for me. I would miss not working.

I would however change some things. I would take more vacation time. I would work less hours probably. I would try and work it out so I could spend more time doing things with the kids but keep being productive at my job.

2) How hard would you pursue a relationship? How important is it for you to NOT die alone?

This is a very interesting question. Much more so than the job one. First thing I thought when I heard this was "Is it fair to start a relationship?". If you know your going to die in 10 years do you really want to heap that much pain on someone you supposedly love? It is an interesting question. If you were an optimist you might say that the 10 years of happiness would be worth it to the person.

What about kids too? It would be incredibly hard to leave your children without a dad. I know it happens by accident all the time but would you knowingly want to put them through this? Would knowing you were going to die make your more standoffish or would it make you cherish every day? Interesting. Interesting. Interesting.

As far as dying alone. I definitely have some old fashion biases. In our time the man was responsible for continuing the blood line. It was the most important thing we must accomplish. I does sort of leave one feeling kind of strange to know that once you were gone that was it... no clones to carry on your unique DNA sequence.

There is also the question of what "Dying alone" means. You can have a great group of friends without being married or having kids and those friends could be at your death bed supporting you.

3) Would you ever consider elective surgery (such as a cosmetic procedure) even though it's likely you will die just a few years later.

I was born ugly. I am gonna die ugly. No need to change that now.

4) On the other hand, would you spend a significant chunk of your net worth on medical care just to extend your life a year or two?

I think the medical community has a huge problem here. The focus of medicine is to "prolong breathing".. not to prolong life. I might spend some of my net worth for an extra couple of years IF those years were meaningful. Most likely those years would be in bed ridden pain kept alive by some machines. I do not consider that life and would rather die sooner than have some evil doctors keeping me breathing.

5) Would you travel more or less? Would you develop a specific "bucket list" for your remaining years?

I am not sure I plan well enough to make a bucket list. I would try and do "different" things though. It might include travel... or just visiting more amusement parks or doing some more interesting things.

6) Would you be more likely to use illegal substances or engage in illegal activities, knowing your potential punishment is diminished by your life expectancy?*

If the illegal substances helped diminish pain so I could enjoy life then I would be all for that. Nothing to do with punishment though. It is more a quality of life issue. I would not steal, rob, murder, what not just because I would not serve a full term. I am not a criminal. I could not see myself becoming one.

7) What is the ONE most important thing to accomplish in your remaining years?

I have no idea. I have never been strong on the foresight department. It is an interesting question though. In my case it would be to have my kids be as happy as possible for my remaining years. I do not want to die regretting not making them as happy as I could.

I thought these questions were interesting. I have one thing of my own to add though. Consider this. You all are going to die in 10 years. Statistically this is not true but it is totally possible. You could walk outside tomorrow and get hit by a car. Lightnings heart may burst from too many donuts. Anything could happen. We have no idea when our last day will be. We are all terminally ill. So why does it take a physical manifestation of our illness to cause us to change our lives or be better people or get a bucket list done? Live every day as if it is your last because it could be. Peace.

Woooo hooooo .. *burp*

Had a good time last night. Went out to use some free gift cards I got to Outback about two years ago. Fuck Ya! I procrastinate! Went with a couple of old friends. Got to that nirvana state where I am drunk enough to be hilariously funny yet not drunk enough to "fall asleep". If you have never had the pleasure of seeing me in this state then you are missing a good time. It is pretty cheap to get me to that point too. Only 2-3 beers will do it. I really should become an alcoholic.

Some of the highlights were calling the waiter Kojak all night. At least I gave him a good tip. Giving people the benefit of my incredible wisdom. Air bumping-and-grinding often. Cornhollio imitations. Not sure what else I did but my companions had tears streaming down their faces. Peace.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


I often come up with business ideas. My latest is the "Fatties for Patties" app. My friend was thinking about some sort of local, bar type, social networking app to basically do hookups with no strings attached. I came up with one better. You have an application that finds fat chicks who will sleep with you for dinner. The chicks can input dinner level from McDonalds to a 5 star restaurant. Actually they could enter tiers from like:

McDonalds - 5 minute blowjob in parking lot
Bickfords - 15 minute blowjob in my car
Emerils - Anal, Oral, whatever you want baby!

You then walk around town and your beeper comes out.. wave it around "ok.. there is a McDonald's... ahh a Bickfords.."... Awesome idea.

I pull a hysterical joke on my son this morning. He is always worried that if he misses a shower he will smell really bad at school the next day. We are driving to school and I start sniffing the air. I knew he had not taken a shower the night before. I was like "Man what is that smell? Did you take a shower? MAN THAT IS BAAAAD!".. he starts freaking out, sniffing his armpits.. I had to let him off the hook in a few minutes so he did not burst a gasket but it was funny as hell. He gave me props for getting him good.

I took my anger out on some poor Indian dude today. See I am cracking. Normally when I walk I kind of get out of peoples way because I do not want to touch other people. Even if they are on the wrong side or what not. So this dude is walking side by side with his buddy taking up the both walk lanes. Instead of moving over to avoid him I slam my shoulder into him. Was very liberating. I think he even gave me a "what the fuck"... pussy, I will kick your ass.

Still taking days off running until my leg feels better. Peace.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

What The Hell?

Has society ran out of ideas? I mean seriously a fucking Total Recall remake? What the hell is wrong with you people. At least choose a movie that French people made so nobody ever saw it like Le Femme Nikita. Spiderman reboot? Everything fucking reboot? Fucking morons.

Do not even get me started on music either. Every fucking song I hear on the radio these days I am like "Hey, wasn't I listening to these lyrics in 1980?". What the fuck? I know you all are talentless whores that need the reverb machine to even sound relatively good but now you can not even hire a song writer that can make something somewhat new? What the fuck is wrong with you people.

The more of this shit I see the more convinced I am that 2012 is the end of the fucking world. The Earth is like a giant sitcom for God and now that we are becoming boring we are going to get cancelled. Peace.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Pain and Bruins

Wow. Worst run ever Wednesday. My legs had been feeling a little tired and sore after the sprints on Monday. I knew Wednesday was going to be bad. I get over the bridge and my legs turn to spaghetti. It felt like my right leg and knee just did not want to support my body. Killer. It was at like 15 minutes into the run. I told myself to keep going unless I felt some serious pain. I kept moving and finished my 30 but felt like I could not even take another step at the end. When I stop my legs always feel painful but it was pretty bad after this run. Normally I have to walk it off. This time I was kind of hobbling it off. I even sat down for a few minutes... but that probably just made me feel stiffer. I am going to take today off to give myself more of a rest and see if I can do something for my legs.

Bruins kicked ass though! It was awesome! I remember watching games with my dad as a little kid. I think he was more of a Canadians fan.. but the Bruins were his second, adopted team. They were not able to win before he died at an early age... but finally they pulled through and did it. Sweet!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Just Running

Nothing cool is going on. Just kind of status quo. Yesterday I had to get home earlier because I wanted to watch the kids playoff game. I also needed to get a run in. Running has been kind of blah lately. I have lost like zero pounds. I do not feel like I am improving much. Still need to do something to kick start the drive again.

Since I wanted to do a kind of short workout I decided to go to the track and do what I think they call intervals. Basically you run as fast as you can for a short distance then walk for a bit to recover and then do it again. I warmed up with a 3/4 mile slow jog... then kicked in what ever burners I have for a quarter mile run. I ended up getting a 1 minute forty second quarter mile. I think my normal quarter is like 2:40 to 3 minutes.

It was kind of fun to do something different.. although I have to say throwing it all out there for a lap is WAYYYY different than jogging three miles. I had some serious aches in my side. I did my walk and burned another quick lap before giving up. I spend like 22 minutes running and walking. It felt like a good workout.

Things are gonna blow up soon but for now it is just kind of peaceful and boring. hence my lack of motivation in anything. Peace.

Wednesday, June 08, 2011


Last post on running gave you the second by second play. Today just an overview. Went for a nice run. I decided to do a longer run than usual today. I found out most of my runs are around 2.7 miles. So I decided to bump my 30-minute run to 40+ and add the bridge crossover.

I start out at work. I change in the office. The bitches all try and paw my legs of course.

I walk down to the Charles. It takes me around 15mins to get there. I am slow.

I then run until I am finished. Usually I do 30-minutes. Sometimes 40. Normally I start out fast and end up dying. Today, partly because it is HOT, I decided to just try and go slow all run. It felt really good.

Forty to 45 minutes later I was done with my run. It consisted of running down to the Museum of Science, over the bridge into Cambridge, then all the way down to the Mass Ave bridge, and back across.

At that point I basically die. Exhaustion sets in. I zombie my way back to the office. Somehow from door to door it takes like one to one and a half hours. I know I am crawling back but that is ridiculous.

Normally on the walk back I notice my fingers have tightened to stuffed sausage consistency. I have only really started noticing this since the heat has gone up to the 80's-90's. I assume it is dehydration. It usually loosens up when I get back to the office and wash my hands and splash my face... if not by then, it passes after I chug down my Gator-aide and rest a little. Sausage fingers suck especially since my fingers are lean, dexterous, and oh so good to the ladies.

If any internet quack doctor wants to chime in with a hypothetical cause of swollen fingers after exercise feel free. Probably means I am going to have a stroke from high blood pressure or something. Ah well can not win them all.

After I relax a bit and do a little more work I catch the train home. Simple schedule.

On a side note I am thinking of shutting down the blog. It would be a shame in some ways because the shit is going to hit the fan real soon. However I am not feeling it at times. Perhaps because nothing much has been going on. I could always fallback before on "Motherfucking fucktard sucked out one outer for a five hundred dollar mother fucking pot! Fuck my luck!".. but alas the Government does not like me harassing retarded fucks so they shut down my favorite pastime. Peace.

People Iz Stupidz

Go readz abouts da stupidz peopals here. Fuck you all too. See gotta get my quota of swears in for the month.