Bitter Peoples

Jordon please do not be so bitter. I mean it is ok you suck in Razz. You have a good job. Pretty woman. You make ok money. It is alright to be bad at poker. You can afford it.

Now why did I play the Jordon Gambit as it is called in an MTT. Let us review the hand that Jordon called me out for.

Full Tilt Poker Game #4911003132: SLB159's Umbilical KORD (35901129), Table 1 - 120/240 Ante 20 - Limit Razz - 22:12:28 ET - 2008/01/18
Seat 2: pushmonkey72 (1,951)
Seat 4: slb159 (5), is sitting out
Seat 5: SirFWALGMan (2,982)
Seat 6: InstantTragedy (4,415)
Seat 7: XGod_Of_WarX (59)
Everyone antes 20; slb159 antes 5 and is all in
*** 3RD STREET ***
Dealt to slb159 [Ks]
Dealt to SirFWALGMan [Qd]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [6d]
Dealt to XGod_Of_WarX [2d]
SirFWALGMan calls 40 (the bring in)
InstantTragedy completes it to 120
XGod_Of_WarX calls 39, and is all in

I have a shit load of money. Slb and XGod are basically all in this hand. There hands do not matter at all. It is only me and IT. This is a knock out tourney. I spent $7 to get into this fucker. It is obvious that some retard playing Queen doors like Jordon is going to get lucky and suckout and knock me out. So here I have an opportunity to win half my buyin back. I am going for it. Plus Instant tragedy is in the hand. Bonus. I love fucking with him.

*** 4TH STREET ***
Dealt to slb159 [Ks] [3s]
Dealt to SirFWALGMan [Qd] [Qh] <-- dealt a terrible brick.
Dealt to InstantTragedy [6d] [Kc]
Dealt to XGod_Of_WarX [2d] [7d]
SirFWALGMan checks
InstantTragedy bets 120
SirFWALGMan calls 120 <-- but that doesn't slow down our Woffles!

Terrible brick vs the players who are all in already.. However the only one who can bet is IT and now I have a decent draw against his king. Lets see what happens next. Also in context IT likes to bluff a lot and I do not put him on two good under cards.

*** 5TH STREET ***
Dealt to slb159 [Ks 3s] [4c]
Dealt to SirFWALGMan [Qd Qh] [2h] <-- finally that 2 to make a stron Queen-high draw (assuming two low cards that are not 2 in the hole).
Dealt to InstantTragedy [6d Kc] [Th]
Dealt to XGod_Of_WarX [2d 7d] [Qc]
SirFWALGMan checks
InstantTragedy checks

My guess pays off as IT check. Only reason he is checking here is because he has shit behind. He would be betting his ass off if he had any kind of draw. I got a great card. I actually should have thrown a bet in here. Now I am in position to take IT money, get two bounties, and win a decent pot.

Instant Tragedy: *** 6TH STREET ***
Dealt to slb159 [Ks 3s 4c] [9d]
Dealt to SirFWALGMan [Qd Qh 2h] [Ac] <-- Woffle's strategy finally pays off. Says Woffles, "I love playing runner-runner draws!"
Dealt to InstantTragedy [6d Kc Th] [Td]
Dealt to XGod_Of_WarX [2d 7d Qc] [Jd]
SirFWALGMan bets 240
InstantTragedy calls 240
Instant Tragedy: *** 7TH STREET ***
SirFWALGMan bets 240 <-- Woffles hits perfect, going runner runner.
InstantTragedy calls 240
SirFWALGMan: a2357

Bonus getting paid off by IT. He has to know I am perfect underneath to even attempt the Jordon Gambit. I rock baby.

*** SHOW DOWN ***
SirFWALGMan shows [7s 5h Qd Qh 2h Ac 3c] 7,5,3,2,A <-- And then he has the nerve to win?!
SirFWALGMan wins the main pot (40) with 7,5,3,2,A (I accidentally erased the line where he wins the main pot, worth approximately 1,600.)

Wooo Hoo! I am the king. IT plays shitty under cards and I get paid off in a low percentage hand. I think the added equity of two bounties and the room for mistakes with chips left makes this an ok play. If IT did not brick so badly on 4th I would have had to dump my hand but that King was perfect. I think I just understand all poker games better than Jordon. I try and teach the guy but you just can not train a monkey. It is impossible.

As it turns out I was totally correct and some donkey monkey asshole sucked out on me before the money. So the knockouts I won paid for most of the tourney and made it a zero sum game. So since I had bounties to collect and I was only against IT in the hand and he bricked fourth as badly as me I think I played this hand perfectly fine.
I do not recommend you amateurs trying this at home. Please leave this to the professionals.