Monday, October 31, 2011


Why everything has to be so hard for me. I went to get a phone this weekend. I have documented my sisters bank fraud issues against me. Apparently with her last one I put a lock on my credit report. So basically to do a credit check they have to call me at home. This does not help when I am at Best Buy trying to get my phone. Ug!

I kinda gave up.. but will probably attack it again today. I just need to release the lock and then move it over to me new cell phone which will cause everything to be sweet.

It is so moronic that they could not approve it there though. I mean I was at Best Buy, with one of their people, with a license with my photo on it. How much more proof do you need that I am me? I mean fucking seriously. Stupid assholes.

I chose the Samsung Epic Galaxy S2 4G or some such shit. I liked the un-cluttered interface. I like how Sprint fucks with you. The ad's all say "No contract required".. but if you want a decent phone you either get locked in for 2-years or you pay $600 bucks for the device. Retarded lying scumbags. Peace.

Apparently I was wrong..

According to the google doc JMan has the lead right now. If the Chargers lose then he is the champion beating Bayne and Seb. If the Chargers win then.. Seb eeeks out a win. Bayne can not win this week. Also in the news Josie still losing. Peace.


Bayne and Seb kicked ass this week. Even JMan beat me! Dammit. Patriots pick killed me. The Girls took the bottoms slots this week.. Josie, Sarah and Mom bringing up the back of the pack. Josie has no way to beat me this week which is all that matters anyways. Peace.

Sunday, October 30, 2011


Seems like Bayne is kicking ass. Patriots lost which screwed me bad in more ways than one. Congratz to MiamiDon and the Cardinals win! I think I came in like 3rd or so... I am currently one point above Josie and anything can happen there... the most points she can gain on me this week is like 3-4. Peace.


Early results has Josie ahead and Waffles in 3rd or 4th.. but I have the big picks left to go... So far only miss is the Saints and the Panthers for 1... going with my "Don't play suck teams high" methodology.. Seb has a nice score right now too, he may be dangerous... Mom actually is in last BUT she has made a ton of right picks including Vikings for 12 AND had her biggest picks left to go... so really it's anyones game.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Joe C's Got a Gun

My titles have become more random like myself. Here are my picks for the week:

Saints 13
Ravens 12
Giants 11
Patriots 10
Titans 9
49ers 8
Bengals 7
Lions 6
Eagles 5
Bills 4
Texans 3
Chargers 2
Panthers 1

Bayne is joining the fun this week also. He can post his own picks. I will let you know who wins and what everyone gets. If SGirl wins again I am taking her to Vegas next weekend! Mom is obviously not amused. She actually wants in too!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Jordon Asks a Who

New feature for my buddy Jordon. No just kidding. Jordon asked if I was ever happy with the wife. On the surface this is a dumb question because why would anyone get married if they were not happy. However I am used to answering Jordon's dumb questions.

First off I will tell you that most of my life I have been unhappy. Perhaps even depressed. At times it was more of a dull thrum in the background. Possibly it would come across as bored or tired or just not satisfied.

Some of my earliest memories is as a kid in sixth grade. I had it pretty good I think. The kids in my class loved my writing skills. I would always create these awesome Sci-Fi or Fantasy based stories. Everyone found them entertaining. I had friends at school and in the hood where I grew up. It is true, I am a regular Snoop Dog. I had my issues obviously. I had doubts that people "really" liked me. In general though I think my life was pretty good.

I remember standing outside and looking up to the heavens and thinking "man, I wish my life would change". I felt bored or stagnant. I am not sure why. It is entirely possible it was depression. Along with all the good I had my issues. I was a latchkey kid. My dad was never home. He either worked all the time or slept. If he was around we had to watch out for his temper or we could get smacked by the belt. My mom was never there emotionally. It was not horrible but by no means was it perfect.

I finally got my wish and we moved. It was the start of some horrific years. I never could make any friends and the whole school experience with getting teased was horrible.

I made it through those years and in some ways had another stretch of pseudo-happiness. I found out I was good for something. I could write a damn good line of fucking code. Put me in front of anything to do with computers and even if it was my first time working with it I could have something up and running for you in short order. I was self taught. I was damn good at what I did and finally found some form of acceptance in work.

The damage was done already though. I remained, and still am, socially awkward. I find it hard to make friends. It is very difficult for me to go up to someone I do not know and just talk to them. Whatever brain damage I have it is here to stay.

So even though I had tons of accolades from work I still just had just one or two friends and my dating life was non-existent. Into this mix comes my co-worker Terri. She tells me about a great roommate she has and how she thinks we would be a good match.

This leads to a whole whirlwind year of my life. We get to talking and start dating. I start to loosen up after a few dates and she gets a sense of my humor. I remain shy until she reaches around to the front of me while I am doing dishes and starts stroking my cock. We had barely even kissed up to that point because I was too shy to make a move.

This lead to me discovering the second thing I had talent in. I am not sure how I got this talent. It could be from my long, lean, programming hands. It might be because I watched so much porn and stroked it like 10x a day. It could just be god given talent. I was a sex machine. I was damn good at it.

We fucked everywhere. Like five times a day. I would bang her in the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom, in the car, all around the house. We frequently had to grab our clothes and rush upstairs because of an unexpected roommate return to the house. We put bunnies to shame! Orgasm after orgasm. Her cries of pleasure could be heard blocks away. I was having a damn good time myself.

It was a good period of my life. It really was. I felt connected to someone in ways that I never had before. We had different hobbies and likes and we tried each interests. We went out to eat all the time. We talked. We had a good time.

At that point in time I would say I was in love. In hindsite it was probably more like infatuation. I can say it was one of the happiest times of my life though. Infatuation usually is a happy, intoxicating, heady brew.

I think the mistake we made was getting married slightly quickly. I work out everything in my head beforehand. I need to live my life out before it happens. My marriage plan was to date a woman for no less than 2 years, and to live with her for at least 1 year before ever getting married. I think this was a solid idea.

Things that work out one way in my head rarely ever work out the same way in real life. About a year later she started dropping hints that she wanted to get married. We were happy. Having a good time. Got along. A few of our friends had reservations about it. We really had nothing in common was the usual comment. We were different though. We would make it work out. We were so happy.

So we tied the knot about a year into knowing each other and our first child was on the way shortly after. The wedding was the best wedding ever. Seriously classy. Afterwards life happened. Her dad died, then her mom went into a nursing home, we had both children, her mom died, we had to clean up a house in Pennsylvania, for the next two or three years we really had no time together. We threw everything into our kids and taking care of her things. Every weekend we were driving down to Pennsylvania, spending the weekend there, and driving back late at night. Our first child screamed for the first 9 months of his life never sleeping more than an hour.

Once the dust settled we never could get back to that happy place. I think it was just the inevitability of the infatuation wearing off. My wife was like the third or fourth person I had ever dated, the first I had dated seriously, and while I had screwed around with like two or three other chicks, even fucking one, she was the first woman I had a mature sexual relationship with. Obviously all these factors led me to believe this was more than an infatuation.

So to answer Jordon's simple question, yeah, there were good times. A couple years of them, and then fate and reality set back in and brought us to where we are today. I guess in some ways depression is a more normal state for me than happiness anyways so things just settled back to normal. Peace.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Great Googily Moogily!

Well paint my ass red and call me Clowie guess who REALLY won this weeks picks in football? I will give you a clue. It is a sweet and adorable little lady. That rules out Josie.. and the boys... so that leave little Ms. Random picks. SGirl. The Champion of the week and she KICKED OUR ASSES. Sixty Five points for her picks, fifty nine for Josie and I, and JMan brought up the rear this week with 49.

Her random points and picks just killed us. Check out some of her picks.

Saints 13. An obvious pick. Excellent job.
Chargers 12. She missed her second highest pick and STILL KICKED EVERYONES ASS!
Panthers 11. Nobody else had these guys this high. Just a brilliant move.
Cowboys 10. Again a higher pick than anyone else in the bracket.
Bears 9. Nice high slot.
Broncos 8. Nice last minute win.

Just some amazing picks for her. JMan went with more of the leaderboard and it cost him this week. Big Big Kudos to SGirl and her mad skills even though she never watches football with us. Peace.

The current standings for anyone following along are:

Waffles: 143
Josie: 137
SGirl: 134
JMan: 118

Josie is still trailing me with SGirl right on her heals and JMan lagging behind after a tough week.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


Rubber bullets and tear gas on American citizens exercising their right to protest. Good job America. Land of the what?


To Josie for pulling a tie out of her butt. Nice defensive game for the Jags. Ravens you blow chunks. At least another week has passed with Josie as my bitch. I left the kids scores in the car. Doh! Will get those up tomorrow as I am dying to know how their random selection method worked especially SGirls.

Monday, October 24, 2011


Fuck YA! Josie and I are tied going into tonight. Falcons at 6 points was a good choice! No way she can win. However if Baltimore puts the hurt on then I eek out a win by 2-points. I forgot SGirl and JMans picks at home.. but they made em! I will bring them in tomorrow. How does it feel to be playing for a tie Joe C. Loser? Peace!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Sometimes I Remember..

As I start to try and engage in my life at home again I start to remember why it was so much easier to just sink into myself and give it up. Here are some examples of the shit I have had to dead with this week. I assume I deserve it because I am being helpful or something.

Over the weekend the kids were being stupid. As far as I can tell my son and daughter decided it would be a bright idea to have a stick fight. The daughter denies this was a "game" but I think I believe the boy. Inevitably the girl comes in with her head bleeding. The boy made up some story but later came clean and admitted what he did. Which in some weird way makes me feel better about him since he has some sense of decency even if it takes a little while for it to kick in and overcome his fear of punishment.

The wife was a little annoyed about this. The next day she was picking him up from football practice. She decided to take my daughter along. During the car ride my daughter starts tattling about how my son made prank calls to another kid. She is blabbing it out and trying to embarrass my son in front of his friends. He asks the wife to make her shut up but the wife is not paying attention as she is driving and all the kids are making noise. So he makes a bad decision and smacks my daughter across the face with a mask.

The wife drops the other kids off and parks in our driving lot. She then turns to him and slaps him across the face as hard as she can. Apparently the way you teach kids not to be violent is to be violent with them.

She then proceeds to tell my daughter that it was her fault she got slapped because she provoked my son. Now we all know I am contemplating women's rights being a bunch of bullshit but I think if you tell a young girl it is her fault she is getting hit she grows up to be an abused wife. I can not think of a worse thing to say. Perhaps I am overreacting? I quickly told my daughter that it was NOT her fault. It is all on my son. There is never a time a man should use violence to make his point to a woman.

The son decides he wants to stay in his room for a while. He is still crying from the shock of the slap. The wife then decides it is a great idea to go in his room and talk to him and try and get him to come out. I had enough at that point so I went in his room. I said "Do you want your mom here?" he shook his head no from under his pillow.. so I told her to leave him alone. Miracle of miracles she actually listened for once.

Last night the boy comes into the living room and asks if I want to play Madden 2012. I say I am tired and can not play tonight. I will play this weekend though. Immediately from the kitchen this rant starts coming. My wife is all like "blah blah blah I cook and clean and do everything around here and never get to watch my shows your not playing Madden screw you all I am watching what I want to watch".. this huge, loud, screaming insane rant worthy of Waffles.

I quietly tell her that it is rude to cut into peoples conversations especially from the other room. I only did this because she is always chastising the kids about breaking into her conversations. I also told her that if she ease dropped on the conversation properly should would know that we were not going to play Madden and her outburst was totally unnecessary.

She then proceeds to tell me how I jump into all her conversations and do everything wrong. I was a little curious as to what this had to do with the current conversation but insane people do not keep to the subject.

We had some conversations about not getting a new Au Pair. I think that the morning schedule is working fine. I get my son ready. I get my daughter ready. Everyone gets to school on time. No major issues.

To be fair I have had a snafu or two. I was sick for a week with a nasty cold and was not very helpful. I also let my daughter go to school soaking wet one day. She said the nurse had a change of clothes for her so I logically said "1 wet girl + change of clothes = everything is fine". I may have done the math slightly wrong. It was not my fault the SUV drenched her dammit!

For the most part things have been going great. The only times my daughter has been late to school is when she has convinced my wife to take her. It is entirely ridiculous that she ever do this because she tells me all the time she has to be on time for work. So she ends up making my daughter AND herself late. My wife is incapable of ever being on time for anything and it is always because of someone else.

Since I suck in the morning as you can see above and she is always late to work because of me she had a woman (who has watched the kids before) come over in the morning. I told her it was unacceptable. The worse part was I had everything mostly done by then anyways.

She was getting ready to head off to work and she yells down to ask if I had dried the towels yet. I yell back up "No, I have not but I will do it before I go to work." She then starts yelling stuff about not having time to do the towels, she has to get to work, blah blah blah.

I tell her that I answered her question and if she would come down here maybe she could hear what I said. She then starts yelling "blah blah blah Why should I come down there? Why don't you come up here?". Hello? Listen bitch. First off your the one who wants to ask me something and are too deaf to hear what I am saying. If you want to hear the fucking answer get your ass over here. Obviously I bit my tongue and did not say this. She finally comes down and I explain to her that I said I would take care of the towels before I left for work. I think she said "Well, why didn't you say that in the first place".

I am getting ready to leave for work and she says "You have to get home by 6 so I can go out.. is that alright?". Now normally I am a loser with no plans but I had tentative plans to go out and get sloshed with some work buddies. So I said "No, I can not do that".

She immediately accuses me of trying to get back at her for having the lady come over in the morning. You just want revenge. blah blah blah blah. First off bitch if I take revenge believe me that is not going to be it. Secondly why can't you fucking ask me earlier in the week if you need me to do you a favor? Finally why is it alright for you to have plans but not me. Go fuck yourself.

My friend at work decided he wanted to get blown by some chick instead so our plans got cancelled. Being the reasonable person I am I called her and let her know I could be home for 6. You think I get a thank you or anything? Fuck no. Fucking cunt.

The past few weeks I have felt really good mentally. Like I can make some motion and cause things to happen in my life. With all this bullshit I am just that much more motivated. I am going to shake things up this weekend. Peace.

Weekly Picks

Time to get back on the winning side against Josie.

Packers 13
Ravens 12
Saints 11
Steelers 10
Raiders 9
Chargers 8
Browns 7
Falcons 6
Cowboys 5
Broncos 4
Bucs 3
Texans 2
Panthers 1

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Occupy The World

I have listened to some of the Occupy [Insert City Here] protests and seen the cops violent reactions to the freedoms we founded our nation on. I have been watching from my little dungeon basement and I think I get it.

People out protesting do not seem to have an agenda or set of things they are protesting. In general they are lashing out at "the rich guy". Other people are calling them hippies and ne'erdowells.

I really think what these people are protesting is the state of our world. We have built a giant, consumerist, more-more-more, faster. faster world. Constantly going and trying to outdo the Joneses. Frankly things are out of control.

I think we all long for the simpler days. Days when you did not have to have two people working full time to survive. Someone would be home with the kids, cooking the dinner, doing homework, taking care of things. Kids would be outside playing with each other. Safe. Secure. The world was a better place.

We believed in our political system. We felt when there was corruption we could change that. We would impeach, and make sure the government did not get too big for it's britches.

Now we do not believe that either side is going to make ours lives any better. It is just a big pack of fat people collecting money from whatever interest group pays them the most. No laws are passed to benefit the people. Nothing changes year after year. Sure we switch from Republican liars to Democratic cheats. Nothing ever gets done though. We see our country spiral into uncontrolled debt, our city streets and highways going to hell, we see the education of our children dropping each year.

I think the Occupy protests have been a long time building. The foundation of them is the worthlessness of our society, and our feeling of lack of power to change anything. I am not sure we can go back to a simpler time. I am not even sure that it would be better if we did. I do feel we can not continue going the direction we are though. Peace.

I Have A Lot to Say

I have a lot of posts to do, not just this fun football shit. Lots of things going on in my head. more to come soon.

Stupid Football

Dammit Josie! The girl took a nice chunk out of my lead this week. Josie really nailed it this week only missing 3 picks for 13 points which is pretty good considering some of the losses. Only losing 5 points for the Saints loss was really good. Have to give her some credit even if SHE IS STILL BEHIND! BLAHAHAHAHA!

Now that JMan is doing the pool SGirl wants in on it. So I am going to let her pick also. I am starting her with the same points as JMan because just lets not go there ok.. I mean it's bad enough if you get one of them something and not the other... and do not even get me started on what happened this weekend but lets just say there were sticks, blood, and lots of slaps. Not good. So they ARE STARTING WITH THE SAME EXACT POINTS DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!

I need a good week this week to put Josie back in her place.. that is beneath me if you did not get that... Ahhh yeahhhh! Peace.

Current score for those interested:

Waffles - 84
Josie - 78
JMan - 69
SGirl - 69

** These points are kinda arbitrarily.. I started out just counting how many points separated Josie and I because that is all that matters.. but it is much harder to keep track with four people so now I am adding the weekly points up and just coming up with a score. If I had kept score since the beginning the scores would be like in the 300's.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

JMan's Picks

Packers - 13
Ravens - 7
Steelers - 3
Saints - 8
Pats - 9
Bears - 10
Raiders - 6
Eagles - 1
Lions - 5
Jets - 2
Bills - 11
Colts - 12
Panthers - 4

** I really hate his Colts pick BUUUUT if it does happen he might beat Josie and I...

Saturday, October 15, 2011


What the fuck is wrong with this country?

Taking The Evil Side

VeryJosie did a very nice thing for someone the other day. Go ahead and read it. Do not worry it does not involve road head for Wolfie.

I read the story and I was very proud of Josie for standing up and giving the bus driver a dollar. Helping the kids out. It seems like they are nice, well mannered children who deserve a helping hand.

I have to say though, did the bus driver really do anything wrong? It is his job to collect the fare and give people who pay said fare a ride. He is not a charity organization. He has no moral obligation to give anyone a ride for free.

I am willing to concede that the world would be a much better place with more people like Josie. If the bus driver was nicer and gave the kid a pass I think that would be awesome. It however would not be doing his job.

I highly doubt the kid would be in any real danger by missing his bus. It might be another story if it was 12 o'clock at night. I assume it was not since Josie goes to bed by seven. The kid would have been inconvenienced. He would have had to get his cell phone out or find a pay phone or possibly go back to his school. He would have had to call his parents and possibly they would become more diligent at keeping the card topped off if they had to run down to Boston and pick the kid up.

In summary I think it is nice what Josie did. It shows what a stand up person she is. I do not however think the bus driver did anything but his job. Peace.

Friday, October 14, 2011


In my ongoing series against Josie here are my picks. JMan will be joining our pool this week just for fun. The main competition is against Josie but we will see how a 12yr old does in the pool.

Packers 13
Ravens 12
Steelers 11
Saints 10
Patriots 9
Bears 8
Raiders 7
Redskins 6
Lions 5
Jets 4
Bills 3
Bengals 2
Panthers 1

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Oops Sorry Nice Lady

Dear Nice Lady,

I love you. You take care of the kids after school on Monday and Wednesday. You rock. You help them out with homework. You do stuff we never ask for. You clean up things. Organize. You are so nice. You know you are only supposed to watch the kids right? I love you so much.

Now I can never appologize to you in person but I feel the need to do so on my blog. You are a go-getting who shows initiative. You took the initive of going into my room. You looked around. You saw I had a cold. You looked on the floor and saw all those crumbled up tissues on the floor with gunk on them. You rocked it and cleaned them all up.

Now I am not a man of God but I PRAY that you used gloves. You see those tissues were not from my cold, no they were nowhere near my nose. You see after I spanked off to school girls, tied up and tortured teens I needed some place to put my come. See I have come a long way since I was a kid and just left it in my undies. So all of those gunky tissues you picked up had my seed on them. Large gobs of sperm just caked on there. I really intended to pick them up myself but I have been a little under the weather.

So here's to you spew picking up baby sitting awesome woman! I am so sorry, and if you get any rashes on your hands you may want to get them checked out.


P.S. If it was the hot blonde that watches the kids on Tuesday and Thursday I would be making more tissues by now.

Sexism and Cute Girl Story

It might be kinda cute. Not sure. Lately I have been getting my kids up and ready for school. I make them pack their bags the night before so we have less frantic rushing in the morning. It has been kind of fun hanging out with them in the morning.

So this morning I get my daughter all set for school. It is pouring rain out. I drive her down the street to her stop. She decides she wants to wait outside for the bus so she will not miss it. So she gets out and stands by the street and this HUGE SUV comes flying by and drenches her. We had like 3 minutes till the bus came... so I just made her go to school. She told me the nurses office has spare clothes. Poor kid.

I have decided that women are unhappy when men are not bossing them around. Hence the rise of a generation of very unhappy, insane, crazy women. The whole equal rights for women thing totally screwed the lot of you. If a man is not putting his iron fist down then you can not be happy. It is like ingrained into the species.

So we have basically created a whole society of unhappiness. Women wanted to be equal. They got what they wanted. They emasculated a whole generation of men. Now they can never be happy because guys are big pussies and can not be in charge anymore. It is a never ending cycle that will crush humanity.

This is my latest theory. So you guys out there have gotta start laying down the law again. You women need to get back in your rightful place beneath us and then everyone will be happy. Peace.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Kinda Cool

This is a really good idea.

Right now I am in a bad place with women hence my turning to the Monkhood. I swear I would not fuck Angelina Jolie if she came up to me with Sarah Silverman and offered to let me do anything my dirty mind could think up. Please feel free to prove me wrong Angelina!!! Actually I would hit that in a second but then I would be all like go call yourself a taxi you bitches.

I hear some stupid shit on TV though. Especially in politics. Here is some background to the story. So let me get this straight. Some dried up cunt named Warren makes this comment:
"To help pay for his law school education, Scott Brown posed for Cosmo. How did you pay for your college education?"

"I kept my clothes on," Warren responded.

which everyone laughed at and said "Wow, what a strong, witty Female, a role model to all powerful women out there". When Scott Brown was told that this bitch said he basically stripped naked for Playgirl to get through college he responded with "Thank GOD she did not".. and he is an evil bad bad man who denigrates and humiliates strong women. Seriously?

Fuck that shit. I hate the bring their playground activities down to a childish level but fuck man, she started it. The bitch basically insulted his way of making some cash through college and then has the balls to be insulted when he zings her back? Seriously? You fucking start shit you better be ready to take some back.

Get off your high horses you fucking slits. If your going to make a "joke" then be prepared to get one shot back at you. All these self righteous cunts that think what he said was any worse than what she did are morons. She ridiculed his modeling, and he ridiculed the notion that she could model. Perfectly fair. You bitches have never been about equal rights.. you have always been about superior rights for you.

And to be honest nobody wants to see that dried up pussy. You know it. I know it. We all know it. Scott just had the balls to say it. Get over it bitch. Peace. (oh and if you want some nice Waffles lovin' I am there for you baby!).


Ken's friend will write all his blogs from now on. Good stuff. No link for Josie.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Ug Sick

Soooo sicks till fuck me.

Here were my picks Josie:

Saints 13
Packers 12
Chargers 11
Texans 10
Giants 9
Patriots 8
Bills 7
Lions 6
Titans 5
Bucs 4
Colts 3
Cardinals 2
Bengals 1

I have no idea who won. LOL.

** Did the mathematics. Waffles ahead going into tonight. PRAYING the lousy Bears can win otherwise Josie wins the week by 1 point. WOW. Close one!

Monday, October 03, 2011


It is kind of interesting watching the footage for Occupy Wall Street.. The corrupt policia of course attack peaceful protesters. Revolution? Boredom? The inevitable conclusion to our consumerist empty society? Who knows. Obviously none of the television stations are covering this. If you did not think they were bought and paid for what do you think now?

Say tuned at Tao Of Fear for more updates.

Just Cause I Can

ok. The Official tally going into tonight's game. I am 22 points ahead of Josie. If Tampa Bay wins then she only loses by 11 points.. if they lose then she goes down a full 22 points more. So at the end of tonight I will either have a 19 point lead or a huge 30 point lead. Josie continues to baffle me in her ranking of her picks. Also her bragging before she gets her ass spanked every week is a little confusing too. WHAP! WHAP! Baby! (I gave her a link to sooth the stinging in her little red behind)

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Girls Suck At Football Picks

So far leading Josie by 30 points with 2 games left. BLAHAHAHAHAHAH! I have like 15 points left to make too.. and she has like 24... So basically I am either going to beat her or crush her. BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!