Saturday, June 30, 2012

We Shall See..

Worse case you can fucking carpet bomb his cocksucking email address.

Dear Face Up Gaming Member:
Today, June 30, 2012, during our “$2000 Free Roll” and shortly after the “Battle of the Bloggers 2” Tournament started our site experienced some Technical difficulties. During this time, our development and support teams have been working diligently to correct the issues our users were experiencing.
We would like to extend to you our most Heartfelt Apology for the inconvenience and burden this event has brought upon you. We will do everything in our power to correct this issue and make it right.
The last few weeks, we have been making changes to the site for functionality and stability and we try our best to plan for every contingency. All of our effort have been and will continue to be moving toward providing a more secure, stable, and enjoyable platform for our members to play and win prizes.
We will be looking into ways to compensate the members who were drastically affected by this Technical issue and appreciate all of your understanding and support throughout this tough time.
Please look for more information about this incident on our site and in future emails.
Once again we apologize for the issues, inconvenience, and burden you have suffered during this time.
Thank you for your patience, understanding, and above all your support.
A.J. Wiley
League Director/Affiliate Manager
Face Up Gaming



Face Up Fuck Up

Ug. I am so pissed right now. I am willing to give FaceUpGaming another chance ONLY because of ALCantHang but I am so frustrated right now.

First off they have turned off chat. Blogger tourney with no smack talking is crap. If they do not change this policy I will not play another one.

I then get disconnected with everyone else and can not figure out how to get back for a while. Sucked.

If not bad enough the poker gods laugh at me and as I fold to Austin's EP raise I flop the nut straight. UGG! FML. Will update again.

Another mass disconnect. Hopefully not me as I am doing alright with 2600 chips.

KOed Laughlin Kid when he semi-bluffed and I won with 73o. :). Did not even mean to be in the hand. Did not notice he was not disconnected anymore. I swear calling his all in was a good move.

Now the lobby is out for me. I can not tell how good I am doing.

KO #2. I raised with A9, got called by QJ, 9xx flop and he has 1400 left. I lead 400, he jams, have to call. I hold.

And all in by accident. Fucking interface. Luckly nobody has me covered. This interface is bothering me this time. I enjoyed the last game so much. This one not so much. Nice 7K stack going.


Ok. Not cancelled. Just DC'ed me on table change maybe?

Ug. Misread a weak King for a Queeze play. Lost 1200 more chips than I needed to. BLAH. K8 is good. Damn.

Made a good fold. Still losing chips. Blah.

Numblowme is on the same table as me now too bad I can not talk to him. Heffmike too.

Lost like 2k on pair of 2s. Shorty had a pair of 6's. Ug. Also noticed this awesome moderator chat. Essentially they said if you keep talking about how fucked up it is and what they can do to make it up to you it is a waste of time.

Lightning out in 118th place.. waiting.. for excuse... 3.. 2.. 1.. and...

Pulled a nice bluff with 72o. Too bad the person could not call me a fucktard. Now the moderators have closed the chat because people were bitching. Nice work guys. Nice work.

Just lost my stack with AK s00ted vs QQ and 77. Was not much more to go in. I feel with the turbo like structure it was probably an alright move. I win and I am golden. 77 took the whole thing down with a flopped set. XD.

All in with a weak ace. Probably my last hand. Do not really care. Got better things to do than this dumb ass site. Really pissed today. Yeah, last hand. Ran into JJ. No suckout. Oh well. Could have probably folded the AK s00ted but who gives a fuck. I play to enjoy the game on that site and it was very un-enjoyable.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Another Blogger Event

Details for the event at

Tournament: Bloggers 2
Date: Saturday, June 30th
Time: 3pm ET - Noon PT
Buyin: Freeroll
Password: battle2

Josie should show up this time.  Last time I had fun. Was on my best behavior. Got to call someone a fucking idiot. Enjoyed the time I was able to play. Did not take note it was like a turbo and adjust my game, so ended up having to push a lousy hand like KK and being beaten by A5. Sounds like the poker I love an remember. 

AlCantHang is probably going to offer a prize for my head. Now I know a lot of you would try and take my head for free.. but getting some goodies for the job is always nice.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Pain Land

Been feeling crappy. Have a tooth ache. Feeling depressed. The tooth has been hurting me really badly.. I have been crunching ice like a machine. I need to go to the dentist. Last night I tried a home remedy.. I ate an onion. Raw. It was delicious. I have always like onions. It also worked SOOOO good. I was able to sleep through the night. No pain yet today. I am sure it will come back soon. Peace.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Game Of Thrones

If Game of Thrones was in modern times here is how it would go.. Personally I think it would have been a lot rougher.. I mean D had sex with a barbarian in front of a group of people! Talk about ending your political career.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012


I told the kid he could probably go see the movie Ted. Now the kid is 13 years old. He swears like a truck driver. I read the synopsis and have seen a few of the scenes. Nothing looks appropriate but then again nothing looks all that bad. So should I let him see his first rated R movie?

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Poking Some Fun

If you have no sense of humor or your sense of humor runs towards the smurfs I suggest you stop reading right now. If on the other hand you like dark and low brow humor you have come to the right place.

Starting Booking Bets on Josie's Trip.

How Much She Will WinA. A gadzillion dollars as she parlays her AVP win, cash table wins, and owning drooling blogger worshippers into an entry into the WSOP which she Yangs her way to victory in.
B. How much do Grouchie, Rob and Grump have in their pockets?
C. Enough to pay for her trip back in December, you go girl!
D. Enough for an Angus burger with Grumpy.

Who Will Murder Her
A. Everyone at the tables, cmon she is not THAT good.
B. Rob the Hooker Stalker
C. Tony
D. Some random dude at the bar
E. Lightning (Hey the perv was feeling left out, had to put him in somewhere)
F. None of the above, She is Sicilian, She will cut you!

How Many Suckers Will Buy Her Dinner To Try And Get In Her Pants
A. 1
B. 3
C. 12
D. All of them

 How Many Sucker Will Actually Get In Her Pants By Buying Her Dinner
A. 1
B. 3
C. 12
D. All of them

Who She Will Sleep With
A. Herself, hey nothing beats a good hand.
B. Carmel. Sexy Mexy Gets Josie Drunk! Please take pictures! Does the dog get to watch?
C. Grouchie. Hey the dude is on a studly diet! SCORE! Plus he has a good sense of humor. Chicks dig that.
D. Rob hides in the closet and watches her undress
E. All of the above

How Dead Am I When She Gets Back
A. A lot
B. A real lot
C. No really dude, you are fucking dead.

Feel free to answer any of these questions at your own risk. I enjoy fucking with Josie. It is fun albeit a bit painful sometimes. If you think I have missed any good bets let me know. Seriously though best vibes going out to Vegas and I hope she does win a gadzillion dollars! Peace.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Fucking Pissy Week

I am totally pissed off tonight. I have had it for the week.

First my boss starts arguing with me about this retard doing programming work. I know he is a fucking good business person but HE CAN NOT CODE FOR SHIT! Fucking moron. Have we not learned from untold crashes? 1600 line methods? No? I mentioned these things. He was like "well he has to learn sometime".. That is like saying that I need to learn to be a doctor by doing open heart surgery on this guy. Please say that boss. All will be forgiven.

My son then chickens out asking his girlfriend out. It is fine I suppose. He said that he was going to but that his mom said he really did not have friends in school because only two kids ask him over their houses.. and it made him self conscious which caused him to question himself and then he decided not to ask her out. We need to have a talk you fucking bitch.

My new manager then writes this pissy, condescending, shithead message to me and cc's my boss. He basically is complaining the I can not/will not enter fucking hours in the tracking system on a daily basis. Is that the best you can do you fucking retard? Yeah, it is, because I am fucking lightyears ahead of you on writing code.

I was trying to be nice to the guy. He is a horrible manager. He should go fuck a porcupine. He makes changes without getting buyin from the people involved. He tells another programmer, and I quote, "ewwww" when he shows him his code. Tells the old programmer he needs to be more "cutting edge". The fucking baby has been in 3-4 groups. Each time he has gone wah wah wah I do not want to be here wah wah wah and went to other groups. Wah wah wah I wanna be a manager. Ok you can manage this. Wah wah wah. I do not want to manage that anymore I want to manage this. Wah wah wah. He is a retarded giant fucking baby.

I could have just let bad shit happen. Instead I tell him about the troubles he is causing within the group he made changes in without consulting them at all. I get him together with the principle person and make good things happen. I do not tell the boss that he has caused these issues. When the install is fucked up beyond anything I have ever done I do not tell the boss he fucked it up. I go downstairs and fix it and spend the night making sure we do not lose QA cycles.

Never again. I am fucking going to wage unholy war on him. Everything he fucks up go straight to the boss. If he causes issues in other groups I am going to encourage them to tell his boss that he is fucking things up. If he wants to be an immature, bitch of a manager then he has lost my support and I will undermine him in every way possible. This is what his style of management buys him. Both people he is managing think he is an asshole and everyone he works with at the very least think he is incompetent. Fucking insecure asshole. Fuck you. Fuck.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Bacon Sunday: Take That Grouchies Diet!

Burger King is now offering the Bacon Sunday. Better hope there are no Burger Kings near Grouchie!

Monday, June 11, 2012

The Salvo

It seems like we have a cleavage contest going. With the shot heard round the world Carmel lets fly a slight nipple slip perhaps giving Josie a run for her money in the cleavage wars. I expect this battle to escalate into full fledged open shirt warfare! Commence firing now! Peace.

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Mother Fuckah, Not You Rob

I tried the FaceUpGaming Blogger game.Huge thanks to AlCantHang for settin this up.

It felt like a Blogger game for sure. There were like 19 people out before the first ante increase. I started out with JT888 on my table. What a fucking donkey fucker! Haha! Gotcha. Actually he is a solid player. Perhaps a little too solid as I stole his blind mercilessly. He warned me off it but he never stood up to me. His game was really solid though and I enjoyed playing with him.

I never got anything really going. The game was 5-minute or 6-minute rounds which made it a turbo. I am horrible at turbos. At the beginning I was a little rusty and played a few too many hands. Hell I was tempted to shove on the first hand but restrained myself.

I then settled down and then noticed it was a fricken semi-turbo. FML. I got down to around 1400 of original 2k and got the most awesome KK. Shoved my stack against A5 and obviously lost. No big deal. I was short then. Was able to steal to survive a round. This is when JT888 warned me to stop stealing his goddamn blind! Blahahaha!

I finally had to shove my remaining chips in with K8 suited. Hit my eight but lost to a pair of nines. Ick. I felt like I played how I had to. Turbos are sad sad games. I survived about half the field and went out just before the break at 50th place. Not bad.

I did shout at some dickhead. It was kind of fun. I swear I never look for trouble. :). However it always seems to find me. Josie, Rob, now this. A buddy of this guy who's retarded name I can not remember gets knocked out. I assume he was a buddy by the reaction. Now a hand before JT888 was saying I should stop raising his blind. So I type "hahaha", which happens to show up just after this guy gets knocked out.

So this prick says "You are a low class scumbag laughing at him". I stay calm and explain what happened and he goes off again. So I tell him he is a fucking cocksucker and shut the fuck up. I then notice to my endless delight that FaceUpGaming does not treat you as a child and they allow you to swear! Where have you been all my life!!!

He goes at me again but I am really amused that I can swear. I get back to calling him a fucktard moron and shithead and he says he is going to get me kicked out of the game for swearing. I tell him to go fuck himself because I could care less. No fucking way I am winning that game. I keep swearing at him then drop it when he shuts his pie hole.

JT888 tried to defend me. Thank you stud muffin you so sexy when you defend me. He goes and tries to explain what happened. I think I told him not to bother because the moron was not listening. Besides fuck that asshole and I can defend myself just fine. However thanks for the sentiment JT.

I have mixed feelings about the site. I think it is pretty good and I felt comfortable at it. I would play there again. I had some small issues with the slider and the amount of time you have to act. It might be good for them to add in a time bank. At a couple points it did get slightly laggy. I am also not sure how much I like playing in a Flash browser. It was cool that I did not have to download anything. However, and this is just my paranoia, I am not sure how much I trust Flash.

All in all I think I could enjoy playing the occasional game there with the software as is. I can not see making it my main poker site or 4-table grinding on the site without some improvements. It is a fairly new site so I look forward to seeing them improve their software.

I thought the turnout was great with like 200 people maybe. I might be overestimating that. It would have been fun to KO Josie but she did not come. /cry. I guess she was too busy with her new friends Grumpy and TBC. Yes, I know, I will survive even though she has discarded me like a used condom. /cry uncontrollably.

Peace Out Bitches! Love Waffles!

Thursday, June 07, 2012

New Post

Up at the Tao Of Fear. I now have my own logo for the Fear posts. This one is on HP Lovecraft. 

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Weird Al Returns Bearing Gifts

Not bottles of SoCo either. AlCantHang of fat hippy lush fame has come through with a prize filled blogger event. It is being held on a site called FaceUpGaming. He obviously got them to agree by saying super stars like the incomparable Waffles would show up. I can't figure out how to link directly to his post but it is the one from June 4th. Go check it out. Send Al some comment love too.

If your smokin' hot and win the cruise you have to take me though! Ahh yeah baby! Lovein in the Ocean! Peace.

Sunday, June 03, 2012

How To Deal With Recruiters

I just had a good idea and need to write it down. From now on if a female recruiter cold contacts me I am going to say "Great, I would love to work with you, Please send me a picture of yourself in a Bikini or less and we can get started".

Waffles On Evolution

Why does deceit and game playing in women seem to be an evolutionary trait. I mean if you look at the human race it would seem that the women who crouched down, lifted their asses in the air, and took genetic material would be the ones who survived and procreated. Not the ones who played games and were all hard to get.

So is the evolution of the modern day women something learned? Did a period of time exist when women just gave it up. We then got into a more progressive society and people convinced women that they had to play these games. It was only proper and right for it to happen? So the learned behavior overtook the natural.

Perhaps it was never that easy though. In order to ensure the survival of the fittest men perhaps evolution built in the hard to get ability of women. If the man was too weak to follow the chase and play the game then he was not worthy enough to procreate. Perhaps the game is in itself a genetic safeguard against unmotivated males reproducing.

This has been Science with Waffles. Peace.

Be Angry With The One You Are Angry With Mmkay?

Today my son was in his room while my wife was talking to her friend on the phone. She mentioned that her boyfriend cheated on her with some big titty blonde. I then walk in when she is yelling at the boy. He tells me that she is yelling at him because Scumbag cheated on her. She tells him to shut up and not tell her secrets. I was confused for a moment because one of my sons friends has the same name so I am like "huh, your friend cheated on a test? With a blonde with big tits? whaaa?". I was so confused. It then dawned on me.

I can not say I am surprised. I predicted to her months ago that he was a scumbag and was not to be trusted. My son also was saying how she told her friend I was dating VeryJosie. Now nothing in the world could be further than the truth. Some days I think she even hates me. nahh, but seriously, we are not dating. So I tell her to stop talking about me to her friends especially when it's not true. She then yells at me to keep my relationships out of the kids lives. So I just got fed up with her and said "Hey, you're the moron who brought your boyfriend around to meet the kids not me". That shut her up pretty quickly.

My son is going to be asking a girl to the movies soon if he can get his balls to drop and do it. See what you have to look forward to kid. heh. Peace.

Saturday, June 02, 2012

Tightie Whities

What the fuck is wrong with undies these days? I mean seriously. When I was a kid they made fruit of the loom to last! I had undies that did not die for 27 years! I still wore them! Now the pair I bought last year is all shredded and falling apart! What the fuck is wrong with you people? I know I have a fucking huge cock but the undies should still survive! Make better products assholes. Peace.

Friday, June 01, 2012

Nerd Shirts

Shelly my favorite althetic, jogger, health nut, blogger suggested cafe press ( for Sheldon shirts.. I also found the following site with all kinds of shirts from all episodes (

Big Bang Theory

How have I never seen this show before? It is so funny. Also where can I get the shirts Sheldon wears? I love them. The character is so funny. He reminds me of me a little. Like if you took my eccentric side and multiplied it by 100 that would be Sheldon. Ok.. Maybe only 25.

I laughed so hard when he would not split the dumpling. He is a crazy fuck. I need to watch more of these and get my Sheldon fix. I was LMFAO for real. Peace.