Friday, December 31, 2010

Bayne The Train Is A Pain

I put in a bet with Bayne for the year. Our bet is that I will make 10K playing poker this year. I feel it coming baby! He for some reason instantly accepted this bet. Hmm.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Poker Strategy or How to Be Awesome Like Me

I have decided to write some posts on the highest level of skilled poker strategy possible AKA mine. Here is my post of advice. Tom Dwan often calls me up for my advice on how to beat the big boys.

If I had to tell you one thing about poker it would be do not listen to anything anyone has to say. All around there are these high class intellectual writings on Poker and you know what... they ALL miss the point. In order to be a truly world class player like myself you need to ignore everything they say. The key to poker is NOT playing like everyone else.

The years pass and people come up with the "winning" strategy every time. You must 3-bet this and 4-bet that. You have to fold this. You should play tight here. You need to do this or that and this and that. All this does is give your opponent a look into your style of play and allows him to take advantage of you and rape you all night long.

You should play CONTRARY to whatever style you know your opponents are using. For years people played Super System style of poker. Now the new younger generation comes by and makes all that shit obsolete because they KNOW that system inside and out and if they know your a Super System Tard then they can take advantage of that. Your opponent can use your tendencies against you and make your ass bleed money long long time.

My advice to you. Do something totally random every couple of hands. Do a weird bet size. Shove all in randomly. Play some cards you know are shit to a raise. Showdown some shitty cards you would normally have folded. Play the hammah as if it were aces. Change up your bets. If you normally check a big hand on the flop bet it. If you normally bet a big hand on the turn check it. Flip a coin and have it decide your next move. The closer to schizophrenic play you can come the better you will be. Which my friends is why I am a champion. Peace.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Proud To Help

Dr. Pauly asked for my expert advice on his new blog the Tao of Fear: "My Name Is Waffles and I Know Things"

On The Patriots

I have been listening a lot to local radio shows and find some of the conversations interesting. The first thing I hear a lot of is "The Patriots give up a lot of yards". It is true. I agree. However to me it reminds me of the old "Bend don't break" offenses that were so dominant. I remember the glory days when we gave up major yardage during almost every game but hardly any touchdowns. Is that a bad thing? Am I wrong about that? This incarnation may be giving up a little more than those old defenses but it feels right to me. Especially with all the take-aways they get. I am not too worried here.

I also kind of laugh at the teams people are afraid to play in the post season. I hear a lot of Chargers and Steelers talk. Now I know that historical play does not effect the current season HOWEVER when have either of those choke teams done well in the post season? I mean seriously. I want either of those teams way more than the Chiefs or Ravens. I think we can beat anyone but until the Chargers or Steelers proves they can beat us in a meaningful post season game bring them on. The team that scares me the most is probably the Chiefs. I say this because we are so good against teams we have played before and not as good with teams and/or quarterbacks we have not seen. Now we do know Cassel very well but the unknown teams seem to do better against us.

I have the Patriots vs Falcons in my Superbowl. What do you think?

Monday, December 27, 2010

Bankroll Smankroll

Played a couple PLO RUSH Games. Lost both. Decided what the fuck. Let's do a 33 SNG. I was 5 of 7. I was 6 of 6. I was 4 of 4. Oh Lookie I just won. First place. Whee. It was like 3 seconds after I asked if he wanted to do a 50/50 trade. Apparently he did not. He had a 12K to 2K chip lead going in and got me down to 1.5K. I then came back hard and beat him. Wheeeeeee. Bankroll is up in the 250 range now. All thanks to Josie!

Honestly my post yesterday was fun and a little pissy. It was a good match against Josie. She played well even if she had a tell. I took 4 of the first 6 games. We then keep playing and she went on a 5 game straight run to kick my ass. Well played Josie. HU is fun and has a lot of variance. Perhaps Jordon will bring back the HU challenge!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Poker is Easy

Unfortunately I did not know when to stop. You know that annoying kid who sucks at everything but they nag you and nag you.. one more game cmon I can beat you finally wahh wahh wahh. Well I am not saying Josie is that kid.. but anyways, she ended up winning the last 4 in a row to win the series by 3 games.

After the HU matches were over I played a little PLO. *YAWN* poker is easy. I stacked a few people after that and ended up like 30 bucks for the night.

Ship It!

It was going really well as I took the first 4 games and had a nice lead. I won the first two best of three games.


Oh oh though. Josie came back and won two. I was ahead 4-2, but now we are tied.

So Far So Good..

Waffles wins match one vs Josie 2-1. Sucked out once when she was short. Won that in 10 hands. I then won the next match in 1 hand. See above. First one I gave her because I felt sorry for her.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Quick Note

Ok. It is on. VeryJosie vs Waffles in a no holds bared HU match. I shall not embarrass myself by losing like Lightning. Sap. Sunday Night at 8PM it will be played on FullTilt poker.

Merry Christmas to All and to All a Cooler Night

Here are my picks as promised. I intend to run the gambit and get every pick right. So you should play a huge parlay card here. Odds are brought to you by ESPN.

Dallas at Arizona +6.5.
A tale of two suck teams. I like Dallas here. Arizona is going to have trouble scoring and Dallas is going to run up the score.

New England at Buffalo +8
Easy pick of New England. Normally these games are close but Buffalo is really bad this year and the Patriots have been running up the score on anyone and everyone around. Last week was a trap game. The Pats come back this week and fuck the Bills up hard.

Jets at Chicago -2
This one is a hard one. Either team could win and both teams have something to play for. The Bears are looking for a bye-week and the Jets are looking to make the playoffs. I am going to give the nod to the Bears despite loving to see Lightning cringe or maybe because of.

Baltimore at Cleavland +3
I think Baltimore can cover the three points against Cleavland. The Ravens have a lot to play for, the Browns have been on a slide, and history is for the Ravens beating the Browns by at least three.

Tennessee at KC -4.5
At the beginning of the year when the Peakers of the world were so excited about the Chiefs I had to laugh a little. I think I have come around a bit though. The Chiefs probably will not go deep this years as they have some missing pieces but I like the team and they should improve. I think KC will smoke Tennessee. The Titans have been teh suck all year.

San Fran at St. Louis -2
I like St. Louis here a lot. I think they have been playing decent lately and San Fran sucks. It is always hard to bet when two suck teams play and it seems like a ton of suck teams are playing each other this week but I think St. Louis steps up and wins this one.

Detroit at Miami -4
See above about suck teams. Ug. I think the key that makes this pick is Miami's inability to win at home. So I am going with Detroit here.

Washington at Jacksonville -6.5
Jacksonville all the way. Washington sucks so bad that it might be contagious. I think they have some bad Karma coming there way too for the whole McNabb thing.

San Diego at Cincinnati +7
I am not in love with the 7 points but since this is not a playoff game I see the Chargers winning it especially against the Bungles. Sorry Iggy!!!

Houston at Denver -3
I am not sure why Denver is favored here? I mean have you seen them play? I sort of have a soft spot in my heart for the Texans and I am picking them to go house. Denver is ridiculous this year.

Indy at Oakland +2.5
Props to the Raiders for playing well enough to get this game down to 2.5 points. Indy has a lot to play for and Payton is really good in games that are not in the post season much like the Chargers. I think Indy takes this all the way.

New York at Green Bay -3
Kind of a tough one here. So much on the line for both teams. I am going to pick the Giant's here. Rodgers is going to be knocked out in the first and the inexperience of his replacement will cost them. Giant's run game will eeek out a win.

Seattle at Tampa Bay -6
Too many points here. Seattle for sure with that big -6 on it. I think this is a really bad line.

Minnesota at Philadelphia -14
Fuck that is a HUGE line. Sure Minnesota sucks and has nothing to play for and Farve is out I think.. which could be good or bad... I hate such a big line though. I did take the big line with the Steelers though... but Minnesota is probably slightly better than the Panthers... I am going to go with Minnesota to cover because the Eagles have only pulled out a 14 point win once this year. Hopefully they follow true to form and just barely lose it by the points even though they will almost certainly win the game.

New Orleans at Hotlanta -2
Falcons bring too much heat. New Orleans is going down. I really think the Falcons make the Super Bowl this year.

So these are the picks of the cooler... or am I no longer a cooler? Has Hoyazo taken over that job? I have no idea so use these picks at your own discretion. If you happen to play a 10 card parlay for $10 and pick just remember your old pal Waffles! Peace.

A Punk, A Skunk and a Slam Dunk

Obviously the Skunk is Lightning. Just had to throw that out there.

Who is the punk? It must be VeryJosie. She is giving away free money challenging me to a HU match. Details forthcoming. I am going to beat her ass so bad she will not be able to sit at a poker table for a month.

This title sucks because like it just sounded good but I got nothing. Oh wait. I remember. The Slam Dunk part. Has anyone watched Basketball lately? Especially a Celtics game? I mean the game basically goes fowl. Announce complaining about officials. fowl. Rince. Repeat. Ad Nauseum. Ah well the kid likes watching them.

In other news I actually picked the winner of a Football contest. Oh yeah baby. Steelers by 14. I was reading these sports sites with their supposed experts and they were all like "Yeah, the Steelers win but by much less.. the Panthers are the best 2-14 team every in existence and they almost beat the end of season choke Saints so they HAVE to give the Steelers a run for their money". I almost bought into the Kool-aide. However at the least minute I said "Fuck that. Steelers angry. You no like Steelers when angry. Steelers have much to fight for. Blowout game.". Fuck me if I was not right. Stupid Panthers you suck.

In other news Christmas has started like shit. First off I get the awesome news that my Wife has dumped the boyfriend. At least for now. FML. Plan A is out the window. That plan was "Schlub the bitch off on some other unsuspecting fool". Merry Fucking Christmas Santa fucking Claus.

I also neglected to notice that we had today off of work so here I am sitting at work when nobody else is here. I am a fucking Genius. At least this will give me time to place my picks for the weekend. Do you dare fade me after my brilliant win last night? Do ya? Peace.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Motherfuck You Banks

I swear I am going to go move in with BamBam. I will bring a tent, camp off his million acre man lot and mooch off his wireless signal. Not sure what to do about electricity. Gerbils?

I was really happy to read Bank of America is going to get fucked up. If WikiLeaks founder was not my hero before he would be now. I fucking hate banks. I should just bury gold in my fucking back yard like Dr. Pauly. Cmon you know he does.

Latest fucking joke. I sign up for a Citizens Bank account. I decide to go green. Whee. So I get no paper. No checks. No statements. I am like a zero cost account to them. So they fuck up my ATM card and shit. No big deal. Finally we get everything worked out and I am going to maybe pay a bill electronically for the first time (yeah yeah fuck you I am a late adopter) and then I get this letter.


We fucking hate you. So we are going to start charging you 5$ a month on the 5th of December. Have a fucking Merry Christmas.

Scumbag Citizens Bank

I fucking signed up with your goddamn bank because I wanted zero hassle, no fee, fucking bliss while I work my fucking wrecked life out of the pits and work up the functionality to actually fucking pay a goddamn bill. Yes, I am that fucked up. So I go down to the bank and cancel my account.. and instead of giving me my goddamn money back they take out the fucking $5 fee that I never goddamn signed up for in the first place. Fucking cocksuckers. They even have the nerve to blame it on the Government. Now I am the first person that will fucking blame the Government for everything but somehow I think your fucking lying to me you cocksucking bastards. Thanks for fucking charging me to lend you my money for a fucking month you goddamn fucking monkey cocksuckers.

So it is off to Canada! I will live like Charles Bronson in Death Hunt! Motherfuckers! Catch me if you can!!!!

*** P.S. Thanks to Kid Dynamite for this link it made me laugh.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Christmas Sucks

Fuck Christmas. I fucking hate this holiday. I know I am doing it wrong. I should just order everything on and fucking who cares if the kids see their presents beforehand and lose all faith in Santa Clause and their parents honesty. Fuck them. It is a good life lesson. Adults just want to fuck with you.

I can not stand going to the mall. First I have to sit in fucking bumper to bumper traffic for like 30 minutes. All to find a fucking Jonas Brothers fagot ass shirt. Of course none of the fucking malls I go to have one. My goddamn girl is like eight. Why the fuck does she need a goddamn Jonas Brothers faggot ass shirt anyways? Goddamn assholes.

I went to get like five things and like three goddamn malls later and I only have like 2 of the things I wanted. Also my wife gets the like XBOX 360 Connect or something for the kid. I am so fucking out of it. I do not know what the hell that is. Can it play old 360XBOX games? Does it need a controller for those? What the fuck. I am a techy and a gamer and have no fucking clue. So fucking strike out there too because I have no fucking idea if I need to get him something else or not.

Goddamn fucking greedy ass kids too. I mean we spend like over a grand on Christmas because everyone wants fucking CIA bugged electronics and shit. Fuck the like dollar matchbox cars. Ohhh noo. We want basketball backboards and computers and fucking crap like that.

The worst fucking part too? That goddamn fat fucking pervert who comes down the chimney gets all the fucking credit!!! It is like "Wow, why are mom and dad so fucking cheap, look Santa brought me an iPad". Goddamn fucking him with one of his fucking elves right up the asshole. I fucking hate that guy.

How the hell did all this shit start too? I mean are you fucking serious? I see it now. Santa came down to earth and sacrificed his fat ass on the cross so that you could spend a bazillion dollars you do not have on peace, justice, and the American way of consumerism. Fuck man. I would pay to make that goddamn movie "The Passion of Santa". Fucking strap that cross on the mother fucking fat cookie eating asshole and fucking stab those thorns in his head. Goddamn. Sign me up.

So a Fuck you Christmas to all and a fucking horrible night! Peace.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Vegas: Final Thoughts

Before I start with my recap I have to say Hoyazo continues to impress me with his fucking moronic posts. I mean let me see. Your team is down 21 points with 8 minutes left to play. The team comes back and fucking wins the game. All you can do is bitch? I mean what the fuck is your problem? I would be ecstatic if my team did that. I would be like "FUCK YA!" "WE FUCKING RULE"! "GIANTS ARE FUCKING LAME!". Instead all you can do is fucking whine about your goddamn team that has done nothing but bring you to the playoffs year after year. Your a fucking idiot.

Anyways back to our regularly scheduled program. Another year in Vegas comes to an end. Vegas is always an adventure. The get togethers are always filled with total awesomeness and some small regrets. The Vegas experience is more of a chaotic storm of people than an organized event. You always go there with your plans. I am going to see this person. I am going to play this event. I am going to buy this guy a drink. Vegas takes all your plans and good intentions and throws them out and you are swept up in the cyclone and brought wherever the degen gods deem you should be.

It was no different this year. There were plenty of people I wanted to spend more time with. A lot of people I had no plans spending time with that I had some fun with. I met new people. Got into different conversations. Saw different sides of people I knew a little. Finally got the 420 invite. Moving on up baby. Found out Pauly has a smokin hot sister. Got drunk. Played poker. Got a sports betting fix. Now I am jonesin' for some more. Figured out AlCantHang can get up before noon time in Vegas. Went out WAYYYY to early in the tourney on a hand nobody but me thinks I should have folded. Watch lightning cringe as the Beers choked. Had my back covered by Iggy and the crew against IP security. Spent a scary night with Don. The list goes on and on.

I did not get to spend as much quality time with several people. However as I am becoming a veteran of these get togethers I say fuck it. Life is too short to make plans. Vegas and our group is special. I am happy about where the wave took me and next year I am sure it will take me in a totally different direction. I am at peace with that.

So be happy with your trips. Let any regrets go. Start the countdown clock going for next year because I expect you to be there. Peace out.

Up Next I will have my opinions on Christmas and some picks for the next weekends games. Happy Holidays you retards.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Vegas Day Four: Wait I only Stayed Like Two Days

Ok. Post titles stupid. I meant post four but now my obsessive compulsive personality will not let me stop. Dr. Pauly said I look like a narc! WTF! Do I really look like a fricken narc?!?! Funny enough I was always told I looked like I was on drugs going through high school even though I barely ever took any.

Anyhow back to the story. I survived attempts at rape and it was now Sunday. I really like Sundays in Vegas. It is a time to hang out with friends and watch Football. Two awesome activities in my opinion. I have to say AlCantHang and FullTilt poker came through bigtime on this. Al forwent passing out in an elevator and getting rolled by a hooker to show up fairly early and manage the awesome room we booked at the Lagrasse Sportsbook at the Palazzo. We got a ton of free food. Even though they did not start serving until like 10AM it was well worth it.

I did my usual bets but I listened to my sensei MiamiDon and booked my fool bets with my one sure fire. The first bet I did was a 10 team parlay. Put down 1 unit to make $7300. See us pro's call our bets units instead of dollars. It hurts less that way. I always love this kind of bet because I am a sucker. However I remember some of my best times at the sports book involved big parlays. My very first time I went 11 for 12. The game I lost on was the late game of the day. In overtime. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU VINCE YOUNG! Ever since then I have been hooked.

The next bet I did was a 4-team parlay. I put down 1 unit on that to also. Finally I put 2 units down on the Patriots to win.

I was kind of peeved at the sports book because they made me go through the line like 5 times. The first time my ticket was bad because I had the Patriot under which was too good so they canceled it. The second time it was because some retard QB was not sure if he was going to play. So they canceled that one too. Eventually I made it through though.

I had some decent conversations with people. I remember heckling Lightning as often as I could about his poor Chicago team. Sat down and chatted with Josie a little. Finally met HellaHoldem. Talked to a ton of other people too. Just stuffing my face and enjoying the games.

Both of my parlays died painfully. The big one was alive in the fourth quarter of the first set of games. It could not pull through though. My smaller parlay made it through the first set of games but then my bet on the Jets killed it. I was alive through most of the game until deep into the fourth when the Jets kicked a field goal. I thought the Jets had some pride and something to play for. I guess I was wrong. Stupid Jets!

I did predict that the Patriots would score 30+ points in the snow and ice and winds. The game they play is not destroyed by those weather conditions because it is mostly short passing and runs. I was amazed at the beating we gave Chicago. I also was amused with CJ betting "Bears No First Down" every play. It was funny as hell. He made a killing on that.

I broke even with my bets because the Patriots pulled my ass out of the fire. After the second set of games was over we closed down the suite and headed over to the IP sports bar. I was a little tired there. It was smokey and way too hot. I had a good time though. Much amusement was had when Xklmxblahblah wanted to hedge his winning parlay ticket. So he put a counter bet on Dallas. Except he did not realize that the bet left a sweet spot where 4-points would cause him to lose both bets. Much hilarity was had as the 4-points was live most of the game.

Ck, Paulie, Derek, STB, Iggy, and many others were there. It was cool to hang out with StB for a bit. I had never really spent much time with him. One day he will learn - NO EYE CONTACT. The New York contingent was there for a bit with Ftrain and Stephanie among others. They took off early for some dinner and what not though.

I had a really good time sweating the Eagles game. I told CK I put money on them to get her eternal hatred. Once she found out it was only on a 10 team parlay I got just eternal disdain. I headed off to the Airport after the game and took the Red Eye back to Boston. Jumped on a bus and headed into work for the day. Another successful trip under my belt. I will wrap up the trip posts tomorrow. Until then peace.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Vegas Day Three: Never Make Eye Contact

I learned an important lesson in school. One day I was sitting at my table and eating my food. I looked up and made eye contact with a retarded person. Instantly he came over to my table and sat down and started talking to me. Food spilling out of the sides of his mouth. My friends laughing at me. I was too nice to just leave. It was the day I learned you should never make eye contact with a retarded person.

Obviously Stb never learned this lesson. After Carmen left me to the mercy of the Keno machine I got a little bored. I was expecting Iggy to show up at the hooker bar but I guess he actually played a little poker. I was walking around trying to figure out what to do. Next thing I know Stb, Pauly, Derek and their smoking hot little sis walk by. Stb stops and looks in my direction and makes eye contact! Big mistake. I go bounding up behind them and get my first "invite" to Dr. Pauly's room. I contend that Pauly invited me but he says I invited myself. Same difference right? Fuck Ya!

It was fun hanging out in the 420 room. I am normally a pretty mellow feeling person in general so adding to that feeling was interesting. Also I have to say smoking with a chest cold is really tough. It was fun having some time with Pauly. Later on Sweet Sweet Pablo showed up too. I had never really spent any time with him and it was good to get to know him a little. I anointed Pauly "You're the Pot Jesus. People just want to take your bread." as the Pot Jesus. Good times.

We finally made our way down to the IP sports book. Pablo was sweating some basketball picks. Iggy showed up a little later. I settled into the seat in front of him. Started listening to updates on the final table of the WPBT tourney. I was happy to hear that some good people like MiamiDon were deep. Next thing I know some faggot in a yellow shirt is waking me up. Oh wait. It was security. Fat black cop wanted to beat me with his stick. Who the fuck makes these stupid rules up anyways? No sleeping in the Sportsbook. sheeesh. Luckily I always hang with people who run up huge bar tabs and they were able to get me out of trouble. I was still waiting for Don or Skiddoo to show up because I had given Don my key the night before and had no way to get into the room.

Eventually they came by. News of the 6-way chop and awarding the trophy spread. MiamiDon* was the champion with a asterisk. I get that everyone was tired and I do not fault anyone for wanting to make a deal and shut down the game. It was fucking late and everyone was exhausted. I think it would have been much better to play for the trophy though. Split the money at 6 left and I bet a lot of people would loosen up and play quicker for the trophy. I am glad that Don won though. He is a good representative for the next generation of poker bloggers. Always there to lend a hand and make people feel welcome. Exactly what I think makes this group special.

I finally got the key off Don and headed to the room. Jumped in bed and lights out around 10PM. I was beat from the lack of sleep and the drugs. I was ready to sleep through the night. However it was not to be.

At around 1AM Skiddoo and Don come stumbling in drunk and noisy. I am half asleep and pose for some pictures with the Hammer Statue. Don hops in the bed and is over on the other side. No big deal. I fall back asleep for a couple hours. I then hear these wacko moans from Don's side of the bed. I roll over and try and ignore them. It was kind of creepy. Also Skiddoo is snoring like a motherfucker. If all of this is not bad enough Don starts inching closer and closer to me. I swear I thought I was gonna get it up the ass between the moaning and inching closer. It was very scary.

I survived the night with my anal virginity intact. I actually slept pretty well. I woke up pretty early but felt good. Next up Sports Betting at the Lagrasse Sports Book.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Vegas Day Two: Out Early

I woke up at around 6AM after falling to sleep at 3-4AM. I think it was because I had a sore neck. It was probably for the best though since we needed to be at the Aria at a decent time. I gathered up the troops for 9AM including MiamiDon, Skiddoo, and Josie. We were all STARVING or so we thought. We decided to cab down to the Aria and see what they had. We were going to eat at one of the restaurants but then Skiddoo was like "Hey, I am starving, lets hit the buffet". Little did any of us know the buffet was like a million miles away from where we were. We kept walking, and walking, and walking, following the buffet signs. I was about ready to kill Skiddoo. Finally we make it there and sat down to an AWESOME meal. Tons of food was there including beef, shrimp, eggs, bacon, waffles.. everything!! We all vowed to eat our twenty five bucks worth but none of us got a full second plate. I guess our eyes were bigger than our stomachs.

We headed off the the Aria poker room and signed up for the tourney after. I was feeling pretty awake with some OJ in me. I was part of the VeryJosie, Lightning, and Waffles last longer team. Unfortunately I would be the weakest link.

The first table I got had a few people I knew like Dr. Paulies brother Derek, Grubby, BrainMc. Also the illustrious author Mr. Fox. I told him his book "Why you lose at Poker" was written for me.

I started off the day trying to be optimistic. I mean I know I can be a bit pessimistic. Like when I was flying out to Vegas. I was in line and they were doing body scans and pat downs. As soon as they saw me they shut down the body scanners and stopped doing pat downs. I mean I know I need to lose a few pounds but really? I can not even get groped or oogled by a fucking $3 an hour TSA agent? I run fucking bad. How about the craps table? I am walking down the side of the casino and all these people are having fun rolling craps. As soon as I walk by a guy throws they dice and EVERYONE goes "UGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!". Is it really pessimism if it's true? Which comes first the pessimism or the bad luck? Fuck the egg man.

I get involved in my first large hand with some old guy. I am not sure who he was. I see a flop with QJ s00ted and the flop comes 8QJ. Now in general this is probably the best fucking flop I could ever see. I lead out here and get called by the old dude. The turn is an 8. I start running through my head what kinds of hands could beat me now. Obviously overpair is possible. However there was no action pre-flop. Something like AQ is very possible and something with an 8 in it maybe. I decide to lead out here and I am immediately raised to 1500. I decide to call because I really think the guy is full of shit. The river is an Ace which is probably the worst card I could see here. I check-call a smallish bet. The guy turns over A2o for the runner-runner two pair. I am angry. Nice to see poker has not changed.

The next hand I get into I raised AKo. I decide I am going to win this fucking hand no matter what. I get called by the same old guy. The flop comes QQ8. I bet. He calls. I look at him and notice he is nervous. The turn is a blank. I know he does not have a Queen. So I check to him. He bets about 2K. I then shove my entire stack in. I decide this bluff has some chance to succeed and I guess I sold it well because he folded JJ face up. In order to piss him off I showed my AKo bluff. Fun hand.

I started paying people off a bit too much and got down to 5K from my starting 8K stack. I just was not getting good reads and not folding when I should have. I then get pocket fives. I limp and call BrainMc's 3x-4x raise. Brain had not been playing many hands. The flop comes A5x. Rainbow. Bingo. I check-call the flop bet. On the K turn I check again. BrainMc bets a decent amount. At this point I get this feeling. I am SURE he has Aces. I know it. I decide to jam my stack in. He obviously calls with his Aces and I am out early. Once I learn to trust my reads and make big folds like that my game will improve.

Nobody else thought I should fold there. I mean we have a rainbow board with nothing on it. However I strive to be better than everyone else and I think you REALLY need to go with your feelings if your that type of player. If you are a math guy then you can just lose if the odds say you are supposed to.

I also wanted to say the Aria was AWESOME. The chairs were soooooo comfy. The room went out of it's way to make us feel welcome. Taking pictures. Doing our wacko hammer requests. All kinds of nice little perks for our 100 person tourney. Very impressed with them. Mucho thanks to Al, April, Suckbox, CK Bendy Bendy, and all the others who made this happen and got all the extra perks added. Fantastic job!

I was kind of bored since I crashed out early. So I sat down at a video poker machine and threw away a twenty. Luckily though Carmen was around. She said that she had to do an errand and wanted to play some video Keno so off we went. It was nice to catch up with her and spend some time together. She taught me how to play Keno. I can kind of see the appeal a little. It is all audio stimuli. You hit the button and listen for the *bing**bing*bing* sound of your numbers hitting. I doubt I will ever enjoy them as much as she does but it was a nice distraction.

This post is getting a little long so you will have to wait another day to hear how I slept with a blogger also someone learns the cardinal rule - never make eye contact with the retard.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Vegas Day One: Creature of Habit

I have been a creature of habit for every single one of these WPBT get-togethers. I always take the late flight out of Boston. Take my one carry on knapsack which I cleaned out the night before of paraphernalia from the last get together. I arrive in Vegas around 11PM. Hop onto the six dollar shuttle and head straight for the MGM grand bar.

I think drinking at the MGM on Friday night is one of my favorite parts of the entire trip. I enjoy getting there and walking through the poker room. Seeing which degens I know are hitting the HORSE and 1/2 games. Heading to the bar and giving a shout out to the people I know there. Quickly getting liquored up and spreading my unique take on life to anyone who wants to listen.

Catching up with people who I have not seen for a year is always awesome. The people who come to these gatherings are really special. I may not have told Iggy a bad beat in over a year but once I sit down at that bar next to him and start sharing drinks it is like we were never apart.

I enjoy meeting new people or making better connections with people I have met but maybe not had the chance to get into a good conversation with. I was able to share a few drinks with California April and get to know her a little better. I met Numbono AKA Numblowme and he was actually a really nice and interesting guy. I would not have expected that before I met him. MiamiDon was back in Vegas and ready to keep me out of trouble and point out the invisible hooker faeries that I can never seem to spot.

FTrain did not seem to mind me saying his fashion sense was wayyy to bad for him to be really Gay. Perhaps he was just relieved someone believed him. I had a good time talking to him and Speaker. Hopefully I was more amusing than insulting.

Josie came by a little later after laying a massive bad beat on my roomie Skiddoo. I had talked with Skiddoo a bit on IM. He is a really cool guy in person though. His bad beat story in Razz became my favorite of the weekend and I repeated it often. Poker Grump did a write up if your interested but just lets say KQ45 is NOT a good starting hand in Razz vs 2345 showing.

Her and Don were hitting it off. I think that Italian's just naturally get along or something. I guess they had some sort of Jersey shore bonding thing going on. Veneno showed up and she was looking really good. Veneno and Kat stroked my hair. Instead of my normal short cut for Vegas I just let it grow out. Both ladies were impressed by the silky softness. April from Texas was SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY HOT! Obviously I had to tell her that. It is amazing how good she looked.

One of the funniest things of the night happened while Don and I were talking. We see this homeless guy come up. He lights a cigarette at the bar. Checks out the room. He then sees these three REALLY hot chicks sitting at a table. He strolls up to them and starts chatting them up. I was really impressed. Apparently they were freaked out as they all left in about twenty seconds. The homeless guys plan worked though. He picks up the food they left behind and starts on his free dinner. He is my hero.

After that we all cabbed it back to the IP. I was up for a few more hours until finally getting about 2 hours of sleep before the tourney.

Continued Next Post - Where I almost get kicked out of the IP sports bar and wind up sleeping with a blogger. Always put a teaser at the end so you can keep them reading.

Monday, December 13, 2010


Got into work around 8AM from the Red Eye. Vegas was awesome. Trip report coming up. Until then read about these crooks. Be careful and stick with awesome, player focused sites like FullTilt and PokerStars.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Heading Out Today

7:36 flight to Vegas. Still sick. Still have a pounding pain in my neck. Probably cancer. Oh well. At least I will enjoy the weekend. Peace.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Couple More Days

Still pretty sick. Coughing. Sinus clogged. Now I think from all the coughing I have sprained my head. Some muscle in the back is so sore and it makes it hard to turn my head. FML.

I am arriving in Vegas Friday night. My normal 10:45 arrival that will probably be delayed. Hitting up MGM first Friday night.. then see what happens. Saturday is obviously the blogger tourney. I imagine I will be spending some time at the IP hooker bar downing drinks with my compadres.

Sunday the awesome AlCantHang and Fulltilt have book the sports bar. In his words

The big ticket item doesn't come until Sunday, football day. I have reserved the big room at Lagasse's Stadium in The Palazzo. Full Tilt is putting up $2,000 for the food tab throughout the day, that is a lot of tasty Emeril food to go around.

I will do my annual sucker bet parlay. I am hooked since I missed by one game the first time I played.

No other solid plans. I am staying at the IP. Peace.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010


Wow this fucking cold will NOT go away. Been coughing so much my head hurts. Mixed a cocktail to sleep to with Robitussin, Tylenol and Nighttime stuff. Did not have much success sleeping but it did produce a fucking wacked out dream.

It had MiamiDon, lots of heroine, my car getting stolen by naked transvestite Jets players and some other shit. Mixing cough medicine's is dangerous! Hope this shit goes away in time for Vegas or else I will have to try and drink it out.

Peace out.

Friday, December 03, 2010


Nice job FullTilt and AlCantHang.

The WPBT drink-fest/poker tournament is just a few days in the future and I decided to add to the mix a little. Not to be left behind by PokerStars, I went to my Full Tilt overlords and pulled some resources. We kicked around some ideas and here's what we came up with.

Full Tilt is kicking in another $1,000 to the WPBT tournament prizepool at Aria on Saturday. It will be distributed with $100 save for the bubble boy/girl, $300 for first, $200 for second, $175 for third, $125 for fourth, $100 for fifth.

Full Tilt is also adding five $100 bounties on random players which will be announced before the tournament. I'm working on a few "blogger friendly" FTP pros to pop in so you can knock them out. Both the added prizepool and bounties will be transferred to your Full Tilt account (as per the casino rules, not mine)

The big ticket item doesn't come until Sunday, football day. I have reserved the big room at Lagasse's Stadium in The Palazzo. Full Tilt is putting up $2,000 for the food tab throughout the day, that is a lot of tasty Emeril food to go around.


Been sick. Sore throat thingy is going all around. Sucks. It keeps me up all night. Actually last night is the first time all week I have been able to sleep. Still feel like shit though. Here go read this if you want something good to read.


Wednesday, December 01, 2010


So I like played last night.

First time in a few months.

I had the situation I love in poker. I was watching this one guy. He had a huge stack. He was betting out in a specific way. I kept my eye on him. I see QJ. I raise 3xBB. He calls. Flop comes with Axx nothing. He bets. I call. Turn. He bets again. I call. River. He bets AGAIN and I instacall and win with Q high nothing. He had no pair. No draw. No mas!

I loved this hand because I made a read. Went with my gut. I was entirely and totally right. I felt if he hit his hand somewhere along the line he would make slightly larger bets. I was correct. It is an amazing feeling when you can see your opponents holdings and own them. It is what I really love about poker.

Of course later on it became the worst of poker. The part I hate. I see a few donks limp before me and I sense no strength of hand at all. I look down and see A9. At this time there are 20 people left. Nine spots pay. I have a decent stack at 8K. With the blinds and the limpers I just go ahead and jam all in. I get the folds I want. Until it comes to this one donk who instacalls. He flips over KQ. He has me covered by a little with 13K in chips. If I win this hand I will be a top five stack and he will be a bottom three stack. So I have enough chips to hurt him. I have no idea how he thinks it is a good idea to snap call with KQ. I read the hand perfectly. Everyone folded except the one donk who should never have called there. The King on the flop ends my MTT for the night.

I hate that part of poker. The luck factor. The fact that a moron with ATC can make any stupid play they want and win. It is just retarded. Instead of making the correct fold with his 40% dog he just flips the lottery ticket up and fucks me out of a win. Hate that shit.

I did enjoy spewing with LJ. Her HORSE tourney was fun. I started out playing a little retarded and hitting two straight draws, one of which was a gutter. I kept a top 5 stack through most of the game. I made a crucial error against Sucko. I basically overplayed my A2 in Omatard because that fucktard was raising every hand. Unfortunately there ended up being no low and I called too many bets. Lucko's pair of twos won the side pot. Ug.

It then gets down to six players left with three paying. It is the ass raping game called Razz. I get in with A56. Another guy has three low cards. Josie is showing a 55 board. She calls all bets. Turns up K553. So she is against A569 and like A57T. The board runs down and Josie scoops the three way pot. I would have won if the retard had folded her cards. See above how I hate when retards play bingo and get lucky. So fucking sick.

Only good thing is she bubbled the game. BWAHAHAAHAHA! Take that bitch!