Friday, March 30, 2007

Babblefish Part Duex

This posting is brought to you by Katitude's birthday. If you have the time please attend her tourney tonight at 9PM EST on Full Tilt. Full Details at her site.

>> Welcome to Babblefish 1.0

>> I am Cyberdyne Systems model 101,..and I am fluent in over 6 billion forms of communication. Which language do you wish to convert?
> Fuel

>> Loading Fuel Language protocol 55-FAWK-01.
>> Protocol loaded.

>> Please enter a word or series of words to convert from Fuel to English.

>> Translation processing…
>> Translation complete
>> How the hell did that donkey call with a set of two's with that flush on the board and me bluffing hard into him? I just do not understand how these donkeys can even breath. I am too good for these people.

>> Please enter a word or series of words to convert from Fuel to English.

>> Translation processing…
>> Translation complete
>> What the hell is Waffles doing calling me? I mean I pushed that pussy off of the last fifteen two dollar pots.. and now when I jam with a $300 bet he decides to call me? What a donkey.

>> Please enter a word or series of words to convert from Fuel to English.
> What the FAWWWK!

>> Translation processing…
>> Translation complete
>> How the hell did my 5's get cracked?

>> Please enter a word or series of words to convert from Fuel to English.

>> Translation processing…
>> Translation complete
>> There goes another 10K on a bluff. I can not play against morons.

>> Please enter a word or series of words to convert from Fuel to English.
> You gotta be fawking kidding me!

>> Translation processing…
>> Translation complete
>> I lost AGAIN? I am too perfect to lose! What is going on here!

> Exit Translation
>> Thank you for using the Babblefish 1.0 translation droid. We hope your experience translating Fuel was a success.

Back to Back Backing Back

I really appreciate my backers. It gives me a chance to play some poker within the confines of my deal which sometimes is good for me. I get a little wild when unstructured.

So anyway it has been going good. I took Veneno's backing into the Hoy and turned in a $110 score for her. I played 200 SNGs for my second backer and ended up giving him a 50% return on his investment and pocketing $103 myself. Much better than the stock market people! Now I have yet another backer. The current backer has given me a fifty stake and told me to play cash games at 200BB levels until I reach $600. Each time I have 200BB in the next level I move up until I finish up at 1/2NL. Obviously if this is successful the backer makes a good ROI. I am curious to see if I can stand the daily grind since I will need to do so when I finally do get some cash online and play at .50/1 or 1/2 in a serious manor that has the potential to be profitable.

Anyway I started off well last night winning just shy of 3-buyins at the .05/.10 level. Of course my table degenerated into a blogger party. At one point we had Drizzle, Al, and Daddy all playing. Lucky for me Al was in a drunken stupor and decided to bleed chips off to me in huge quantities. I think he was my biggest contributor. I did get stacked for 1/2 a buyin early when I took my tens up against aces. I am really rusty in the cash game and played wayyyyy too many hands wayyyy too loosely before I actually tightened up and figured out what the fold button was for. It was fun anyways. The key to success at the fifth pit of hell is to play solid ABC poker. Less HUGE bluffing and more playing hard with the nutz.

One of my better hands of the night was when I called Al's pre-flop raise with 34o rags. I had seen Al raise a lot and figured he was someone who could fold. I got the incredibly lucky flop of 33J. So I decide to play the hand by leading out for 3x the pot. Al luckily has a jack so re-raises me at which time I get all my chips into the middle and he calls because "I had to see what you had".. His pair of jacks did not suckout and that was that. Like I said I was playing loose and badly but I did get lucky. Actually I do not think this call is terrible on my part. Playing weakness (low card) against strength (high cards) is a very profitable yet slightly dangerous method that can be employed in certain situations.

Al and I got involved in a funny hand with Drizzle. Someone raised pre-flop probably Al and both Drizz and myself called. The flop was a funky middle card special with a lot of draws. I had AQ off. So Drizzle bets out, Al raises, and I re-raise. Drizzle folds. Al calls and we check down to the river. He has A7 and I have AQ. Both of us had Ace high nothing and Drizzle folded the best hand. Probably a good move in that situation.. Al was drunk but I am not sure what my excuse was. It was a funny hand.

Anyway.. tonight we shall see what we can do. I have two tokens under my SNG backers name so I will probably try and win something BIG tonight.. and then grind out some more cash. I need to get the rust off since it has been a while.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

I am the King

Had a pretty average night last night.. won about sixty playing HU. First I dropped ten donking out of the Mookie in third. I have AQ and raise it pre-flop. I get called by N000b and the flop is not too scary. Instead of betting out I check and the turn is a harmless 5.. so I push. Against 55. With Ace high. Um. Ok. That was quick.

So then I decide to play some HU action. I play a few NLHE games and win a 4-peep and a couple HU. I also lose one HU when I push a flush on the flop very first hand.. two pair calls.. and spikes his boat on the river. Oy!

I then decide to play some multi-card HU game. I.E. RAZZ! For I am the Razz King! I played this poor guy twice dominating him each time. I swear I saw him crying. He finally gave up and would not come back and play me again.

The final match of the night was HU Omaha-Eight limit. I think HU Omaha is one of my worse games possibly with the exception of Stud-hi. So me and this guy keep going back and forth for a LOOOONG time.. the blinds are getting huge and finally he starts typing into the chat something I keep hearing in these HU games..

Idiot> You are suck a f.cking lucksack!

My only response was BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I kept laughing at him as he swore at me and tried to insult me and told me how I should be out of this game 5x over. He said there was no way he was gonna lose. I finally was able to make a huge comeback and took him out when I made quad 2's vs his 44222 boat. The flop was 422 and the turn was DQB baby!!!! I let out my final BWAHAHAHAHAHAH and asked him how it felt to lose!

I have around ten more SNGs to play before my indentured servitude is over. I am up to $480 from the initial stake of $250. I also have 2-26$ Tokens as part of the stakes winning. If my backer is lucky I will go on a nice run and cash something decent with one of these. I am going to wait for the weekend to play either of them. I am going to try and get in some 90-peep action tonight and see if I can double up my winnings and be left with something to work with once my deal is up. Otherwise I will probably have 125 on FT and 90 on stars to play with. Better than nothing I suppose.

I have no plan for the FT money. I am going to play a bunch of satellites with the Stars money. Mostly the 3$-rebuy kind. Try and score a few $200 wins there and leverage that into a bankroll. I could take down the Hoy again too.. nahh, that's too easy..

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


>> Welcome to Babblefish 1.0

>> I am Cyberdyne Systems model 101,..and I am fluent in over 6 billion forms of communication. Which language do you wish to convert?
> Hoyazo

>> Loading Hoyazo Language protocol 4.671.
>> Protocol loaded.

>> Please enter a word or series of words to convert from Hoyazo to English.
> MATH Update, and Georgetown Mania

>> Translation processing…
>> Translation complete
> I really do not want to write about how Waffles dominated the Hoy. Hmm.. Maybe I can write about sports instead. No. No. I did actually finish second and I will get to mention my name. Oh well I might as well get this over with.

>> Please enter a word or series of words to convert from Hoyazo to English.
> Some of it was donkey play, but for the most part there was just some incredible card-racking going on the likes of which I have not seen in some time. In fact, we didn't even get to see the usual ATC-type of foolishness that has dominated the end game play in some instances in this event, because the one particular player's card rackishness extended all the way from the first hand to the final table, through the bubble and right up to the last hand of the entire tournament.

>> Translation processing…
>> Translation complete
>> How the hell did Waffles outplay everyone so badly? I mean I am the great and powerful Hoyazo and this is my game. This is impossible. I can not believe it could be happening? I mean he bets every flop or turn. He must be hitting major sets and two pairs every hand he could not be outplaying anyone. Yes that is it. He is an incredible lucksack. Phwehh for a moment there I thought the universe had turned upside down.

>> Please enter a word or series of words to convert from Hoyazo to English.
entering three-handed play as the tournament's three cash winners for the week, with me getting the benefit of a huge chip-up nearing the cash bubble after Columbo's limp with AA fell victim to my limped KK when a King hit the flop and then, of course, all hell broke loose after the flop on that hand

>> Translation processing…
>> Translation complete
>> I can not BELIEVE Columbo limped Aces on me. If he had just raised to 3x the BB I would have made an incredible read and folded my Kings. I can dodge bullets baby! Serves you right for slow playing Aces!! I am so good!

>> Please enter a word or series of words to convert from Hoyazo to English.
> And more importantly, I spent the better part of the night hoping, helping and praying for Fuel55 and Bayne to get eliminated before me, my two closest competitors heading into this week on the 2007 Hoy moneyboard, and when Fuel finally went down around the middle of the pack, and then Bayne in the middle of the final table, I felt a huge sense of relief and was able to open up my game.

>> Translation processing…
>> Translation complete
>> I am not a pussy right? No no. I could not be a pussy. I am SMART yeah that is it. I will sit back and wait for the other guys to get eliminated so I can stay on top of the leaderboard. My fragile ego would never survive if I was eliminated and so I will be a crouching tiger! Yeah that is it I am the Tiger! Hear me roar!

>> Please enter a word or series of words to convert from Hoyazo to English.
> I played it pretty smart I would say given my short stack, making good reads on Waffles, meaning that most of the times I laid it down, he would show a set, top two pairs, top and bottom pairs, or at worst just plain old top pair.

>> Translation processing…
>> Translation complete
>> Of course he never showed his J3o's or 25o's where he bluffed me out of pots. I mean the guy always hit every flop and always had Aces, Kings and Queens or hit sets. I had no way to call him. Anyway my readers do not want to hear how Waffles used his big stack to bully me they want to hear how smart I am and how well I folded every single hand and how unlucky I am getting horrible cards.

>> Please enter a word or series of words to convert from Hoyazo to English.
> In the end I got just what I wanted, getting Waffles to call my allin raise on the flop with him having just middle pair middle kicker (just about the worst hand he saw in maybe 20 or 25 heads-up hands) while I had a flush draw, but that flush draw was not meant to be against Waffles on this night. In fact, just for good measure, Waffles ended up runner-runnering a full house on that hand anyways (just that kind of night for the donkey guy), so the flush would not have been any good anyways even if it had filled.

>> Translation processing…
>> Translation complete
>> Holy shit how is it possible to be outplayed so badly that I did not even win a single hand at the final table! Oh yeah! Waffles is a donkey! What the hell was I thinking? I mean how the heck can he call an all in with 5x my stack with second pair against my all powerful 9? He is the luckiest donkey in the entire universe. It has nothing to do with him just dominating me at the end. I mean I am the all powerful all knowing Hoyazo right? I want my mommy.

> Exit Translation
>> Thank you for using the Babblefish 1.0 translation droid. We hope your experience translating Hoyazo was a success. We are also fluent in other similar languages like Arrogantian, Boastfullion, and languages of the Napoleon Complexa tribe of Wassa 4.

Monday, March 26, 2007

My First Math!

I have started praying to new gods. While the poker gods are cruel and evil masters the Donkey gods are liberating and loving folk. The Donkey gods are my kind of people. I really do not remember any special hands in the Hoy.. One thing that made it special is I took out EVERYONE I have ever thought was a donkey. I was able to take down Ick, Smokkee, Hoy AND Fuel all by myself! I could not have scripted it any better.

I basically played TOUGH strong poker. People bluffed off stacks and I was willing to make some read-based calls with second and third pairs. Sometime this made me look like a super donkey like when I called Smokkees all in button push with my SB hand of KQ. He had AJ and I spiked my king. The combination of being tougher in some situations and getting a NICE run of cards where almost everything hit combined in that perfect union to give me a decisive victory. Not only did I take the MATH down I also was NEVER out of first place.

The final hand with Hoyazo I think my taunting and showing of cards was getting to him. Either that or he was just so arrogant he thought it would be easy. Finally I take him out with the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK! I flop an eight on an A86 board. Two diamonds. Hoy pushes all in with 96o and I insta-call. My thinking here is that he would not limp an ace. If I am wrong so be it. The donkey gods rewarded my tough play and gave me an 8 on the turn and a ten on the river to bury Hoyazo and take down a nice score.

A huge thanks goes out to Veneno for sponsoring me for this event.


Congrats to Hoyazo!

Did you all go and say "Congrats" to Hoy?

This brought tears to my eyes.. The Hammer Wife is staying up late and letting you sleep in and being understanding.. and your pushing Ace fucking 3! You asshole! Congrats anyways!


Happy Birthday Biker Momma

Come join leather Kitty this Friday. I think she might be nice enough to tell us where this so called tourney is but I am guessing Full Tilt.

Tournament #15387473, Katitude's Poker Night
Password: martini
Date: Friday, March 30
Time: 9:00 EST
Buyin: $10+ $1
Game: NLHE

Good luck with your 21st Birthday Kat! You are now legal to play poker!!!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

A Night with the Hoyazo

I was chatting with Hoyazo while playing the 3.30 rebuy.

okiesooner: typical shtty play
okiesooner: i'm so tired of taking it up the a s s
Dealer: okiesooner wins the pot (75)
Dealer: Hand #2070253613
SirFWALGMan: then dont play 3.30 rebuys
Dealer: okiesooner has 15 seconds left to act
SirFWALGMan: its probably the most up the azz
per square inch since sanfransico

[21:48] SirFWALGMan: what is it about lesbiens kissing thats so hot
[21:48] SirFWALGMan: I mean its not like there gonna include you
[21:48] SirFWALGMan: and the real ones are usually ugly
[21:48] SirFWALGMan: im just wondering because I am in the Lesbian kisisng section of You-Tube
[21:49] SirFWALGMan: whats so hot about kissing too
[21:50] SirFWALGMan: i mean give me a blow job anyday
[21:50] SirFWALGMan: most people suck at kissing anyways (Feel free to show me otherwise Ladies)
[21:54] *** "hoyazo" signed off at Sun Mar 25 21:54:41 2007.

I guess I was a little too much for him..

I have been running well in MTTs again. The secret to low stakes MTT play is to make HUGE mistakes! As large as possible. Ok. Possibly not mistakes.. but play big with weak hands especially early on. The last two final tables I have made in the 90/SNG last week and the 5.50/SNG today I have been able to leverage weak hands into paydays. For example I called an all in with QJ today on a fairly safe board. The guy pushing had Q9. Normally this is a bad play and a big mistake.. however in these you do this a little and it pays in the long run.

The other thing is when and if you get on the short side push push push push.. I started getting away from that mentality when I started playing cash games but 3xBB does not put phear into the hearts of your enemy. You must be willing to shove in at the right times as a short stack. You will get screwed and be disappointed at times but it will pay off. I had to use this mentality a lot in todays 5.50... I was the last stack from 36 to 3rd. Yes. Last stack and I rode and bullied my way to a 3rd place finish. Calling large bets as a small stack is usually not a good idea. So play smart.

Mucho thanks for Katitude for listening to my I AM DOOOOOOOMED routine for most of the end of the 5.50 MTT.

Mucho sorry words go out to the lovely Iron Girl for standing her up this weekend. I have been having issues with my car and felt it would be risky to take it all the way down to Foxwoods. I hope she kicked some ass in the ladies event today though! My thoughts were with you at least!!!

I hear a funny comedian today.. normally I do not laugh at comedians unless they are VERY funny.. So I was listening to some stand up on comedy central and this guy comes on. Older guy with a scotch in his hand. He starts talking about this deadbeat guy who quit his job to film a documentary on bears. The guy was talking about how bears are very intelligent and have a lot of compassion and sympathy. The guy was then eaten by the bears. The comedian is like "I could not stop fucking laughing! This was the best shit ever".. Very funny. That segues into saying that the guys father probably never thought he would ever make shit out of his life. Bear digestive jokes follow.

Have fun people.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

90-Peep SNG with Smokkay

I played the 90-peep deep stack SNG. I meant to click on the 10$ one, but in my rush to get in before it filled I failed to note I was playing a 20$ one. Sorry backer! I figured I needed a change from the fast and wild world of HU and so one of these appealed to me.

Not much to really say. The whole first two breaks I won a ton of small to medium pots. Until the blinds hit about 240 I had only seen two showdowns and had more than doubled my stack. I finally got close to the bubble.. like 10 more until the bubble and I PUSHED with 77. We had 4-5 limpers in the pot and I had around 12K. I had the limping donkey who called my bet covered. He flips up QJo and I get killed on the river.

I am down to 400 chips. I tripple. I double. I double again. I am now up to 4K chips. The blinds are HUGE and there are like 3-spots to the money. I have about 5xBB. SO I push J6o into the HUGE stack and he calls. With 24o. I wind up taking this one down.

After getting blinded down some more I feel I have to push my AJ s000ted. I get called by the BIG STACK again and he turns over AQ. I figure my ass is going to hurt here but it turns out that the flush draw comes through on the turn. I think I rivered a J to rub it in too.

I played a very patient final table and almost ever one of my pushes were met with folds. Smokkee convinced me to fold some hands.. which is amazing, because I never thought he folded.. A HUGE stack donkey blew like a 40K chips lead by calling an all in with ATo. Amazing. I then called the same donkeys all in push with A8o and it stood up against 9T. He then pushed 27 s0000ted and runner-runner a flush against me when I flopped TPTK. It only cost me 5K but made me a shortie again. The bigstack donkey finally got taken out as I played the small stack until I was in sixth place.

I then went out in two hands back to back. I pushed AJ and got called by AT. The very next hand the button pushes on me and I call BS.. I call his all in raise with QTc and he flips over Q6.. 669 flop seals my fate.. I did catch a ten and two clubs but it was not enough.

It would have been nice for some of those hands to hold up and propel me to a big cash finish but I will take the 108$ payday. I seem to be doing well in these Donkeyments lately as I placed ITM in the 14K recently... I have changed my game up a little and while I am still adjusting and experimenting and this sometimes causes me to donk off large leads, I think I am on to something. The [X] factor if you will that makes guys like Smokkee and Hoy win these Donkeyments..


Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Bring it Bitches

I think I am going to start a HU section on the right like Veneno has. I have been playing a lot of HU games lately to make that 200-SNG requirement go by faster. Sometimes I can do no wrong and go 6-0 and sometimes I can do no right and go 0-6.. however I have been called a $&#*$&#$# luckbox on more than one occasion and so I must be doing something right.

My current score for 2007-

Fluxer - 5:3
MiamiDon - 3:2

I intend to have a "Bring it" day when any bloggers can take me on King of the Mountain style.. except if you knock me off, I stay on top, because, the world fucking revolves around me. If you do not know that yet then you are not worthy of playing me. Feel free to IM me and challenge me to a HU match anytime. Fluxer says I have been channeling Veneno in these things so you are warned.

I had a little free time and was able to fix Carmen's blog template for both IE and Firefox.

I also have to thank JL514 for killing workplace productivity. The QDB Top 100 Quotes are FUNNY AS HELL especially if you are a nerd.

Here are a few samples..

Inside Binary Joke.
"There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
That's only 2 types of people, kow.

Hi Mom
hey baby, whats up?
So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

s'mores mmmmm
Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

Ok now that I have ruined YOUR productivity carry on.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Still Pissed off..

Still kind of annoyed with yesterday.. oh well.. I actually did finish 50th in the 14K guarenteed. I probably could have done better in that also.. however my mid-game needs work. It is a fine line between being aggressive and a strong player and just calling chips off.

On the one hand you MUST steal sufficient amounts of chips during the duration of an MTT or you will lose. The trick comes in knowing where to do it and against whom and when. I find for myself sometimes I take it too far. It gets hard towards the end of a tourney because of the size of the blinds. One mis-step and you could find your nice 30+ BB stack reduced to 15-20+ and be scrambling to catchup. What do you do when EVERYONE realizes that they need to steal and every orbit has at least one raise? When do you playback and when do you let things go and how hard do you playback against an opponent. It is all a very interesting dance.

The other thing I have been experimenting with and possibly getting better at is playing tough on flops. I have had mixed results in this but playing a ton of HU with people has taught me that too many people bluff too hard at pots. The trick is to stand tough but not become a calling station or an idiot. I think some of the finer edges are what make a big difference in MTTs. For instance.. in the 14K contest the other day one of my biggest pots was an all in call with second pair. I felt SURE I was being bluffed even though my mind was screaming fold. I made the 8K call which was about 75% of my chips and was able to use those to keep me in the top 50 for most of the game. In another instance I pushed my entire stack in on the turn against what I felt sure was a flush draw again with second pair. The guy actually did call me and turned over his draw. I was able to double up.

Sometimes this backfires. In the Big Game against better players I made four such plays. Two times I was correct. Once to finish off MiamiDon for the last scraps of chips he had left.. and one to banish Hoy back to the pit of hell he comes from. Each of these calls were with weak holdings for a decent amount of chips albeit not my entire stack. Two other times I did the same thing thinking I was ahead. Once at the beginning of the Big Game against MiamiDon. He turned out to be holding TPTK but Full Tilt came through and I sucked out a 3rd pair on the river. I had around 15 outs but it was probably not worth my entire stack.

The second bad choice was pushing Gnome with second pair and an OESD. In a way I think this was more tilt related than anything. I made an above average laydown the hand before with an overpair against a flopped set. I am not sure Gnome should have called off 1/4th his stack with a small pair but he did and caught. Gnome plays a super aggressive pre-flop game and we were going at it alot. I let that get to me as well as the hand before and imploded in spectacular fashion. At least he won.

I think pushing the small edges is very important in MTTs as well as staying strong through a hand.. it needs to be coupled with increasingly good reading of the opponents you are playing against and the ability to distinguish between a good read and just being annoyed by an aggressive player. In addition you are going to make some really stupid plays this way at times and you just need to accept them as the price of doing business.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

What the fuck!

I can not believe the fucking bad play at the Big Game.. it is fucking ridiculous.. First this donkey calls off all of his stake with a flush draw and bottom pair against TPTK AK on the turn AND nails his god damn 8 on the river! The donkey then somehow finishes off MiamiDon for his last 2K by calling his raise pre-flop with Queen fucking Ten off and then spiking his ten and calling all in with second or third pair.. He proceeds to get excellent cards and gets a freaking 11K to 3K lead early in the big game.. knocking out Hoyazo.. THEN in 3 hands to the Poker Gnome he gives it all away. The first hand he calls a raise with 98c, hits his eight, and calls Gnomes all in for 2K more. The gnome ends up having QQ and the donkey never catches up. The next hand he raises to 1K pre-flop with 99.. gets called by said Gnome.. flop comes 567, so he has a gutshot AND an overpair and make the only good lay down of the night folding to an all in. Finally in true donkey style on the next hand he goes all in against the GNOME again with second pair and an OESD. Gnome of course turns over two pair since he is a card rack and thats it for the retard. I really think the play in the big game has gotten incredibly bad. Good game tonight for me. I suck.


Friday, March 16, 2007

Break Even

I have been sticking with the heads up play. I broke even last night.. possibly made a few bucks. The problem with last night is I was playing Fluxer. He is a good deal better than the average retard. I think I went 3-2 against the short bus people and 4-4 against Fluxer.. so if you minus the rake I basically broke even.

One of the loses was very tilt inducing. I was in the second round of one of those 4-peep HU SNGs and I flop TPTK.. and a dude calls me with just a queen overcard. He hits his queen which gives me the redraw to the nut flush. So I bet out. I am not convinced he has the queen so I call off more chips on the river. He invested 450 chips into his hand with Q7 bullshit. I then push with JJ and he calls with T5o. Flop. Ten. Turn. Ten. Motherfucking cuntbag luckbox idiot wins. I actually lost both of my 4-person HU SNGs tonight which sucks. One was my bad play the other was the douche bag luckbox.

I received another influx of cash on Full Tilt so I will be using that money to try and win a token to this weeks Big Game. Wish me luck! Of course some retard like Raveen with probably call my all in with A2o and win. Jackasses all of you.


Wednesday, March 14, 2007

You are the luckiest bitch

So I finally hit a frustrating spot in the SNGs and gave back my past few days profit. I was getting a little frustrated as there were many games I really should have won. Like the one where I get this one Suckbox to push all in with second pair. Not by clever play or my intellect just by raising huge on the flop when he bet out. Of course he turns trips. The same guy then calls all in with a HUGE underdog hand and runners a flush.. I then have to call an all in by this fucktard. Why? Because he pushed pocket 3's and I had Queens. I knew I did not want to call but I have to play the way you should.. and that is all she wrote.

Feeling a little discouraged I decided to hit up some easy money and play some HU matches to try and get a feeling of accomplishment. So I played four and won three of them. I donked myself out on another bluffing my hand against the all mighty monster of A8 TPTK. Sort of how I donked myself out of the Mookie tonight. So I decide to try as a final game a 4-WAY HU sex toy extravaganza! First hand of this fucker I have 77. I raise. She bets out to 240.. I re-raise all in and we are off to the races.. with 77 vs T4o. *cough* yes. I did say that. T fucking 4 off. I finished her off one hand later.

So then I get into my second round with Retardo Montobon. This guy was so full of himself it was crazy. He played an alright game but was EXTREMELY readable.. I even made one pseudo-bad call just to make sure I was right. Anyway.. this guy starts going off on me in the chat.

Guy: You are the luckiest person ever!
Me: I do not think I have ever heard that before
Guy: I can not believe your fucking luck!!!?!?!
Fluxer: Yeah, she is such a lucky bitch!

So anyhooo... After he insults me like this I flop an OESD. The turn gives a flush on the board, so I bet out. He cold calls. I river my straight. Can not put him on a flush. Why? Because he ALWAYS bet big with BIG hands. So I value bet the river and he calls and pays me off.

I then proceed to get two pair with 96o. I THEN flop two pair with T7o against his QTo. The turn gives me the boat and the victory. A nice payout. Same payday as a full ring game except it takes a lot less time. I may hit a few more of these up.

** EDIT:I just sucked out on Fluxer twice. He did start it by runner-runner a flush against me however it was pretty funny.


Monday, March 12, 2007

Fucking Dick Sucking Bastard Morons

I actually had a good night even though the post title does not say that. I started out REALLY bad. Some suckouts and some bad plays found me going 4 of 6 for my first 3 short table SNGs. Actually my notes say:

Oops Misclick. Out with 88 vs AK.
All in with OESD Flush Draw missed
Overbluffed and got called by QJ on a flush board, lol. TPTK Rules.

I then pulled out a second place win to almost break even and went out sixth place in the very next one. Ouch. So now the night is down a bit so I decide to try two more. One 9-person SNG and on 6-MAX to change things up. I swear these two SNGs took the longest of any two I have EVER played.

In the 9-MAX one I am at a 4K-9K chip deficit and my opponent is jamming hands and keeping me down. I finally chip up and take the lead and get a couple of nice pocket pair that hold up. I flopped a set of Aces on basically the last hand. The board was two diamonds but I decided to let one rip. The turn is a diamond and he pushes. I insta-call not believing him for a second, and have the Ace of diamonds as a redraw also. It turns out he was drawing dead to the ten of diamonds. So I end up with a nice first place cash.

The 6-MAX game too so freaking long. I was short stack for a long time.. but was able to get Queens and double up when it was down to three. I finally made the money and DOMINATED the play. Unfortionatly the fucktard had the luck of the retarded. I raise AQ pre-flop and he calls. The flop is A9x, I bet out, and he pushes with 89. The turn brings an 8 and I think I am done. However I am able to work my stack BACK UP, get MORE CHIPS than him.. and then well.. let us see it live..

[23:00] SirFWALGMan: 5K vs 3K
[23:00] SirFWALGMan: A6 vs K6
[23:01] SirFWALGMan: K flop
[23:01] SirFWALGMan: god dammit
[23:01] SirFWALGMan: asswipe
[23:01] SirFWALGMan: fucking cunt bag idiot
[23:01] SirFWALGMan: i had his ass dead to rights twice
[23:02] SirFWALGMan: and he fucking pulls out miracles

I had to finally push with rags and my two live cards never hit. So disappointing to have a guy DOMINATED TWICE and get totally fucked. Second is at least a cash but I wanted the big bucks.

I finally completed exactly 20-SNGs. I have a profit of $44 over that time period. So I hope that over 200 SNGs I can take down $440 profit or more. Not horrible for a fixed amount of games. I think the structure has been good for me also. It has a fixed goal of playing 200 games and nothing else. It has a start point and an end point. I do better with a little bit of structure.


SNG Progress

So I think I have finally hit my stride over the first 17 games of my SNG challenge. Damn this is going to take forever. I have been trying out all variants of the game and to me the best money/time/ratio seems to be the 6-MAX SNG. I only have to deal with six people. I am limiting my winnings slightly but I seem to excel in these. I remember doing well last time I played these and I have a 66% cash rate so far in my short trials. In some ways it is kind of fun switching the variants. The play does not change drastically unless you hit the turbo games and if one type of SNG suddenly starts kicking your ass you can switch it up for something different.

Blinders just called MTT players donkeys far more eloquently than I ever could. He basically said that MTT play is more artistic and cash game play is more scientific. We all know what it means when we say "Oh, yes, little Johnny is so Artistic".. It means he is a fucking retard and most people in society frown upon the truth.

He was responding to the Hoy fueled debate on Cash vs MTT play. I think any debate you start needs to have some bounds. If you compare a $10/MTT with a .10/.20 cash game you will find very little difference. If the prize is big enough you might find better players in the MTT but for the most part you will see the same push all in and pray mentality in both game.

As you move up in stake you again see alot more skill come into play. If you watch the professionals in the WSOP many times they avoid calling big all in bets or pushing all the chips they have especially early on unless they have close to the nut hand. In higher stakes cash games you will also see somewhat less push monkey mentality as people want to PLAY poker.

Both games require skill to be consistently successful at and they both require different skills. Arguably a terrible MTT player has a better chance to be successful than the same terrible cash player in the sense that the horrible guy can hit a run of cards and win a huge stake while a cash player needs to be consistently success full for a much longer time frame usually.

All in all who gives a fuck. People win playing all forms of poker using all types of different skills. Just go out and have fun and let the money come as it will.


Sunday, March 11, 2007


Played a few more SNGs.. up to ten now with a nice $10 profit. Um. Is that any good? lol. I have no idea. I have had a 2,3,4 and 6th place finish since I last reported in. I am not going to sweat it until I get 100 under my belt.

I also played the iPod freeroll. I ended up getting taking out by Schaubs when he raised pre-flop with 99.. I call with Kings and he flops his set. I meant to bet out 1500 to see where I was.. but I stumbled and bet 16K instead.. I only had 4K.. but he had me covered by far. To be fair I am not sure I laydown kings here with all unders on the board. I at least would have liked the chance. Oh well. Finished in like 30th place.


Saturday, March 10, 2007

Backer comes through.. suckah!

I was happy to get someone to take me up on my backing offer. I think it is a pretty good deal. I have a 20% ROI over a long period of time so the risk is minimal for the backer I think. The tilt risk is always there but I am trying to control myself. I am not going to out him unless he wants to mention his name in the comments. We decided on the 10$ SNG games. So for my first night I decided to just one table. I wanted to get my poker feet back under me since I have not played much in the past few months.

I decided to start with the Turbo's since Smokkee says they rule. My first two turbo's I played like a complete donkey. Sorry backer. I called with tens when I was pretty sure I was beat.. he turned over kings. I felt that was one of those hands where your getting your legs under you again and you do not totally trust your instincts so you make a bad call.

I then made a marginal push after raising AK pre-flop, getting called by one spot.. flop comes 222.. So I figure if he has a pair I am in decent shape.. He might fold to
my push.. however he KNEW his 33 was good and that was it for me.

The third turbo convinced me that I do not want to play turbos. I will get back to that soon enough. I end up going out in 4th place in that one which was my best finish up to that point. I finally was catching my stride as I went out when I called an all in with AK (500 blinds) I had a 3K stack or so and the other guy had QT. He ended up with a boat. Yeah. Actually he finished me off when I pushed my last 300 chips in with A4 vs J9. No way he does not call that and he even gave me protection by PUSHING it.

The reason I decided to quit turbos at this point is because they do not fit my game well. You need to be VERY aggressive and I am only moderately so, and you also need to have some luck and that just is not me. I like being able to wait it out a bit at the $10/1 full ring non-turbo SNGs.

Ok then Kitten comes by and asks me if I want to play with her. Now I would never say no to a bike riding, black bra, hot momma like Kitty so I jump on a 5.50 with her. First hand I have pocket tens, the flop comes low, and I push against two guys. One shortie was already all in so he did not count. The other guy thinks and they turn over AK and K7. Now I am feeling pretty good to 4 outs. I never in a million years expected a KING to come and yet it did.. leaving me with 600 chips. So I build my stack up again and see pocket tens again. My opponent bets and I raise she then goes all in. Mr. Dreamy is chatting with me and he says "She has AQ".. Either that or I misunderstood. I put her on higher pockets. So since Scott poisoned my mind I called and she did indeed have Jacks and I lost. Fucker owes me and my backer 5.50..

Actually that brings up a good point. If chatting with someone in a hand DO NOT make suggestions unless explicitly asked. It throws people off.

So at this point I am 0 for 4 and failing my backer miserably. I decide to play ONE more game. I decide to forsake the turbos. If I lose then its just not my night. So I play this game pretty well and start chipping up. Until I get into this one hand. I flop two pair on a two heart board. I push. He calls with his turd flush draw A2 of hearts. Now Full Tilt has fucked me hard in the past. I am used to the heart coming and losing chips.. However the site decides that is not painful enough soooo the turn is an Ace and the river a 2 for a better two pair! What the fawwwwk? I actually play fantastic poker and chip my way back up. We get down to three people and the chip leader has 10K vs 3K for the rest of us. It becomes one of the longest battles I have ever seen 3-handed. I basically dismantle the 3rd chip guy while the chip leader keeps feeding him chips. Finally when we take him out the stacks are about even. The big stack decides to play uber aggressive since until now I had been VERY tight.. So I trap her ass and take the chip lead. Then she tightens up a ton and allows me to start bluffing my ass off. I end up getting a large lead and then finish her off. Finally a first place finish.

So here I am down eight bucks. I decide to play one last game to finish out my night. I do not remember much about it but the last hand I had 4K in chips to his 8K and he PUSHES with K5.. again, because, I have been tight and folding a lot. I call and flip over my KT. All is well until the river gives the tard a 5 and my chances at first are up in smoke although I will take the second place finish. Final total for the night is a small eight dollar profit over six games. I have 194 games left to play.

Tomorrow night I am going to mix in multi-tabling. It should make the longer SNGs more enjoyable.. of course it has the chance to distract me a little too much if I make multiple ITM. I will keep you posted.

On a side note and old friend I used to work with hooked up with me on Linked In. We used to have a blast at my work about eight years ago maybe more. I think this was my third job in development. We used to sit in the cafe and talk about anal sex if that gives you an idea of how fun this job was! She was hot too.. along with another woman who always took me shopping with her when she bought bathing suits and things like that.. man I miss those days..


Working.. Working.. Working..

First of thanks to everyone who posted a comment on my Birthday. I appreciate each and every one of you. Enough of the mushy stuff.

It seems this is all I do now. Really the thing I hate about the job the most is the commute. Not that it is all that bad just because it is LONG. I wake up at 6AM, leave the house by 7:15 and get home between 6:30-7:00 every night. I then have 3 hours for dinner and cool down until bedtime. It is probably the only part about the new job that I hate. I do have alternate choices that would buy me 45 minutes more possibly but I have ruled these out. What do you think.

Option 1:
Leave house at 7:15 get home around 7:00 at night.
Ride commuter train in town while enjoying a good book
Ride T out to Harvard while enjoying a good book
$40 a month for parking (2$ a day)
$150 a month for T pass
$50 a month for gas
Smooshed by unwashed masses in trains sometimes

Option 2:
Leave house at 8:00
Drive in light to moderate traffic until 8:45
Park and take very short T ride to work
$100 a month for parking (5$ a day)
$59 a month for T pass
$100 a month for gas
Drive home in light to moderate traffic

I like reading a book a little more than sitting in traffic or driving my shit box car every day. It is a lot more peaceful for me. Since I have to get up early my sleep schedule has been much better too. In general feeling pretty good.

The job is going to be very good.. as soon as it starts in earnest. Right now I am checking out some different products. The real fun part will be designing the object model and putting the system together the right way. I am really stepping out of my box to design this system and it should be fun. It has nothing to do with the actual work because that is stuff I has done over and over through the years. I just am taking a better approach to the design up front.

As for playing poker.. I will be starting up again on the 15th. Unless anyone wants to back me for some action. I am going to take my initial stake and follow Smokkee's lead. Wow. I never thought I would say that. I am going to hit the SNG tables. Starting out probably at the lowest level. Like Smokkee I think the turbo SNGs are the way to go.. either those or the short table SNGs but I am going to try the full ring. I will start out with 3-4 tables at a time and see how that works out. If anyone does want to invest some money in me then the deal will be as follows. I am assuming the backing will be small stakes like 50-100. I will play 200 SNGs on that stake. I will either bust out or make a profit. After I pay back the initial stake I will split all profits 50/50. Not a bad deal. At the very least there should be some funny suckout posts. I do actually consider myself a good SNG player. According to Shark Scope I have a 20% ROI over my lifetime at Full Tilt which is more than enough to be profitable over 200 games. Anyway.. the longest you will have to wait for some poker content is the 15th.

I actually do have a question about poker styles that is interesting. Let's say you have two players. Both players raise AK pre-flop. When the flop comes with an Ace in it player A always pushes and player B always bets 3/4 the pot and again on the turn.
Is Player A or B going to win more over the long term? Actually this is an extreme over simplification of what I am really asking which is do the hyper aggressive players make more money because of bad play and people chasing draws than the smarter players who want to play every street and not push monkey around. Sometimes I wonder.
As always there are many ways to win at poker.

Until next time.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Happy Birthday To Me

It is my birthday today. My daughter is highly excited by this. I am not. Unlike Joe Speakers Old Lady I do not have much to say about birthdays. Man I am ornery. I think the last one I actually got excited for I was eight years old. Nuff said.



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Monday, March 05, 2007


Quickie post.. I do not have time to write what I want about Don's last post so I have a bunch of filler. I had a really busy day today working at the Financial Company, then coming home and straight out to Cramer for some additional work.

Actually a funny thing happened to me on the way to work today. I have often told you of my bad luck and how I never tend to catch a break. Well this week I decided to try alternate methods of getting to work. Last week I did the 45-min drive to Alewife and then a 15 min train ride to work. So today I decide to try the Commuter rail. I miss the 8:11 train and catch the 8:39.. I finally get to work at like 9:30. Wellll... It turns out that once a month.. on the first Monday of the month.. the whole company gets together. They introduce any new hires and well guess who was not there. Sometimes I can not BELIEVE how fucking lucky I am. Not!

Despite this foobar work has been really good for me lately. I have been going to sleep around 10 every night and waking up a 6AM and feel pretty good. The questions I am asking myself are more along the lines of "How do I develop a system to do x" instead of "What color should that alternating website line be".. ok, my old job was not that bad but this is much more of an Architecture and ground up development job on large scale complicated systems which is fun.

Don, you better hurry up and Trademark your "Big Game". I read this on one of the sports gambling blogs:

Greedheads at the NFL want to trademark the expression "The Big Game" so as to further their ability to extort tribute from businesses whose sales get a boost from Super Bowl viewers.

Quick man! quick! Before it is too late.

What else.. oh yeah, I have picked up yet another award! Yay Blog! is a bit of a lovefest for other bloggers and doesn't seem to post much of interest to those outside the circle. A bit like attending a party where it seems as if everyone knows everyone else. However, he has attempted to video some play online. I've often thought about managing something like this, but the effort involved always makes me reconsider. However, playing that single uploaded hand gives you an insight into how sirfwalgman, and a large number of people, play. - Peter Birks

I responded to him..

You must be a fine writer because I can not decide if you are insulting me or not. Keep up the good work!

I am pretty sure he did not mean anything by it.. Probably just needed the linkage since my "Circle of Friends" gives me a page rank of 6, and his is only 5.. nah nah nah nah!! Actually Peter seems like a smart guy and maybe sometime he could explain how "I and a large number of people play" and what I should change in my game. Although I got the idea he plays LHE and NLHE MTT tourneys and I mostly play NLHE cash games, MTTs and "other" games.. which conceptually is very different.


Sunday, March 04, 2007


Not too much to say about the new job yet. The first day was basically meeting people and learning what stock research is all about. I found out that researching a portfolio of stocks is just like gambling. The financial people even use the same terms like EV, Variance, and risk vs reward. They have all kinds of formula's to figure out if a particular stock is a good fit for a person or portfolio. I am sure a lot of the same math was used to figure out if it is good to push AA pre-flop.

I will have to ask someone like Fuel but it seems like the majority of people in finance sweat a lot. I swear I felt like yanking my hand back in revulsion multiple times. Ewwwwwww. I think smart people have a lot of quirks too. The guy I am working for repeats a lot of words twice. Like if you tell him something he will say "ok ok". Crazy but it seems like a fun job.

Getting to work is a mixed bag so far. I have been getting up at 6AM to get showered and then getting the kids up by seven so the boy can catch his bus and I can leave to catch the train. The easiest way for me to get where I am going is to drive for 45 minutes and then catch a train. You see Cambridge is a mystical place that magically is hard to reach no matter where you start from. It is messed up in other ways too. I may end up taking a longer commuting option but save on parking a little and be able to read during the trip instead of shouting at the other drivers on the road.

Fridays trip was a little harrowing since it was pouring rain out along with strong winds and my wiper blade decided to wig out again. Every once in a while the blade bolt gets loose and stops working.. So I had to stick my hand out the window so the blade would not go past the edge of the car.. Of course it then decided to work on its own time table so every few swipes it would jam the working blade. Finally I pushed it over to the side so it would not work and drove from the right hand side of the car. It was a ton of fun let me tell you. Somehow life always seems a little more difficult for me.

I spent all day yesterday chipping ice from my driveway. For you southerners who can not imagine what I am talking about pretend you are in heaven and you have a GIANT drink of whatever gut rot you guys drink on the rocks. Now southerners do not deserve to go to heaven so this is really hell and your drink spills out all over your driveway. Ok.. some of you deserve to go to Heaven maybe so none of the booze spills just the ice cubes.. all over your driveway and they stick to the ground to the only way to get them off is to bang them over and over and over with something heavy. Now you get a little picture of how it is in the North, jeeze, and we call you stupid. I now have sore hands, sore back and wobbly legs. I am not meant for manual labor.

I did have a nice Dial-A-Shot call from Al, Don and Carmen. It was sweeeeet! I think it made my week.

Peace. Next time a counterpoint to MiamiDon's excellent write up about his reason for going to Vegas.


Friday, March 02, 2007

Bloggers Doing Good

I am going to tell you about my first day of work but before that I feel the need to mention a great achievement from one of our own the lovely and talented Love Elf. Our very own Tina, seeing the writing on the wall with that deadbeat Smokkee, has been accepted to [begin gibberish I don't get] the Doctor of Psychology in Clinical Psychology program at Argosy University/Orange County [/end gibberish]. She is going to need to make some Doctorate money if Smokkee is going to play poker for a living.. I have seen him play.. So if you have not gone by and given her a pat on the back then do so now.

I am just kidding about Smokkee too. I remember the first time I met the two of them. It was on my first trip to Vegas.. Everyone thought that Smokkee was going to be a big black man but that impression did not last.. Instead on first glance it was a macho Italian guido guy with his look pretty and nod blond girlfriend..

I am glad I got to spend some more time with the two of them after that initial five minute impression because it could not be further from the truth. Tina is a smart, smart, smart lady who is also a really great person. I can see why she chose the field she did and I think she will do great in it.

My initial impression of Smokkee was a push monkey donkey poker player.. oh wait, that has not changed.. oh well, at least I got to spend more time getting to know Tina. Actually Ray is a cool guy and he might even know something about Poker and playing big time tourneys. Anyway good luck you two and congrats on get accepted Tina!!!