Monday, March 31, 2008

ITM Again

Finally hit the cash again. Thanks to Cmitch. He was off his game bigtime tonight. He jammed A7 into my queens.. made a few questionable calls and then in a bad timing move jams AQ into AA on the bubble. Ick.

This allowed me to make the money after Astin called my raise with, and I quote, "Hearts". Now if his cooking and winning the Martini game AND living alone did not make him a fag then calling with HEARTS sure as hell did. He outflopped me and I had to fold. I had hearts also. Honestly this is why I hate playing an aggressive game. I had Pushmonkey whispering in my ear to be a little more aggressive. So I re-raise Astin with A8 hearts and he cold calls off 6k with, and I will quote again, "HEARTS", and outflops me. Fucking retarded. This is why I have stopped trying to re-steal or even steal in these games. Nobody has a fucking fold button. Ah well.

Tomorrow is the No-Skillz game. My backer has made a little money tonight so that is good. I shall continue to play my best and see what happens. I am just kidding about the Astin is a fag thing also.. He is a great guy and even if I do not want him standing behind me I really like him.

Friday, March 28, 2008

NCAA Picks

Some more fades for you all..

Wisconsin -5.5 Davidson
Who the hell are either of these teams? I dunno. Wisconsin I guess.

Texas -2 Stanford
Got to go with Stanford here. Texas sucks.

Kansas -12 Villanova
Kansas it is! I can not cheer for Villians.

Memphis -5 Michigan State
Ummm.. Michigan State? Ok.

Hope I cost someone some money. Good luck.


While I got crushed by bad luck playing Omatard last night including my favorite hand of the night when I flop a set vs top pair queen kicker NO DRAW.. and lose to runner straight I did lose fair and square in the Riverfuckers.

It is refreshing to actually be behind in a hand as it hardly ever happens. It was my own fault too. I limped in on the SB as a shortish stack getting 4-1 odds with a weak flush draw. I flopped top pair with a weak kicker and got all in against top pair with a tiny bit less weak kicker. He had over 10k chips so calling off 3k with top pair nine kicker is probably an alright move. At least he was ahead. I did get sucked out on once by Corron. He has Jack high double gutter on a two flush board that had a possible completed straight already and is calling my 3/4 pot bet on the turn. He had the chips to burn I guess but the heart on the river froze him and just proves that his call on the turn was idiotic. However his 30% chance came through and I lost a 4k pot that I desperately needed leading up to my final ouster with the top pair hand. All in all I prefer to be taken out by a hand that is ahead of mine than the bullshit I normally have to deal with in these things.

I keep reading the Blogger political posts. Who gives a fuck? I mean you have the right to your opinion and all that but you opinion is probably misinformed and idiotic so just shut the fuck up. This means you Iggy. Go back to the drunken falling off bar stools. I like it better. Peace.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Just in case...

Just in case you have not been following the next blogger flame war. Duggles insults MiamiDon in one of his poker comics. Love the hat btw. Excellent touch.

Anyhow it annoys people who are friends of Don and so ScottMc the Texas avenger swoops down and does his own comic. Excellent rebuttal and art work. If it was me I would have done something in a Silence of the Lambs vein where Duggle dreams about putting Don in a pit and starving him then wearing his skin so he could be Don.. but that is just me.

Scott also reminds us of an incident that happened a year ago. I think it is worth reading not because Duggles being a liar is any kind of news but because I find the posts amusing a year later. Some of the high points you can look for. I mention I am a break even player as early as April 2007. Sweeet! I give a great recap of why lying is wrong:

Now so what if he made a bad play and won.. the bad part about the whole thing is that he:

A. Lied about the limit. It was .02/.05 not 1/2
B. Lied about the hand. He said the guy bet very little and let him catch a straight.
C. Besmearched the reputation of a highly respected .02/.05 player.

I think point C is a classic. There is a copy of Duggles original post which he deleted in the comment section of Poker Jones post AND someone defends the prowess of the nickle and dime players. All in all it is a pretty fun trip down memory lane. Well worth a read if you are bored.

"I woke up and there were these people lined up with scalpels, steak knives, hacksaws, basically anything that could cut. I didn't know what the hell was going on at first. Then some guy mentioned a Craig's List ad, and I was screaming that it wasn't me who placed the ad. Some guy pulled out my organ donor card and showed it to every one. That was all the confirmation they needed," said Hopper.

Also worth a read if you are board is this post from BoingBoing. Apparently some trickster put an ad on Craigs list for organ donators and a bunch of people showed up looking for organs!! They would not take no for an answer. Is this a hoax post? I hope so. The funniest part of the post might be the following:

Police detective Rod Stumpley said, “Last week we had people come and take kids from homes after a 'free kids' ad was placed, we had a Wal-Mart cleared out after an 'everything's free' ad was placed. It's on the Internet so you can hardly blame people for believing it.”

So is this a real article? It is on the Internet so it must be true right? They top it off with a nice final quote.

A representative from Craig's List said that people shouldn't believe every “free organ” posting on the site, and that harvesters should consult with the donor before removing his pancreas just to be on the safe side.

Fun stuff to read anyways. Even if it is fake. See you all tonight on Riverfuckers. I am hoping to go deep here and then MiamiDon and his big game on Sunday. No idea if I will make my goal of being 14th in the BBT3 standings by the end of the week but we shall see. Good game to you all. I will never wish a single one of you lucksack any more luck.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I Hate You All

I really am getting sick of bloggers. Your really nice people but you suck at poker even worse than I do. Here is how my night at the Mookie ended. Three hands in a row.

AQ vs A8 - All in pre. Tie.
A4 vs Q7 - small stack, he hits 2 pair. (Not an idiot play BTW, you are excluded)
99 vs AQ - All in for all his chips pre-. Can fold KK? You can't even fold a most probably dominated hand.

Fuck you all. That is all for tonight.

Something Different

I lost to a decent hand last night. It's a miracle!!! I played a very tight game in Razz last night. Blinding down a bit and chipping up when I needed to. I think I may have played too tight.. as Numbono was stealing all over the place. Of course he finally got caught and went out a little before me. I made one semi-questionable call down vs LJ early on with a weak 8 low but it did not cost me much. I had a 76 go down in flames to a 75 which was ok also. I went card dead in the middle and had nothing I really wanted to fight back with. Here I should have used my tight image to steal more but I decided to stay tight instead. Finally I get into a race situation basically. I had 345 vs Corron's A23, the door is an 8 for me and a queen for Corron. Fifth makes my eight low but gives Corron a better eight low draw. On sixth he takes the lead and I am committed for my stack. I have to catch a seven or lower to win. I do not make it and I am out. It was neck and neck the entire hand so I do not think either one of us misplayed the hand. In Razz when the blinds get to 800 and everyone has 10K< chips you have to pick a hand and go with it. Nicely played Corron.

I would also like to say what a pleasure it was playing with TwoBlackAces in Monday at the Hoy. He is a player who is lighting it up with solid play instead of pushmonkery as far as I can see. He was very patient and solid at my table from what I could see and I had a good time playing with him. It is nice to see someone who actually likes to play Poker in one of these events and I wish him well for the rest of the series. If it would not put my seal of doom on him I might even pick him as a top choice for a WSOP seat. Since my seal of doom is final though I will not be picking anyone at this time.

Less you think that some Alien abducted me and replaced me with some nice guy.. What the fuck is up with AlCantHang? I fucking search for his site in google and I get a MySpace page?????!?!? What are you a fucking queer? What the hell? I am so disappointed.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

All Mookies Fault

Everything is Mookies fault. I totally apologize to jmathewson_III.. I know that he can work the library doors.. of course what he would do when he got inside I have no clue. Mouth breathers.

Honestly I normally would never race. I believe my edge is in outplaying people on the flop.. however small that edge might be.. when I race it always seems like bad things happens. The jam is the great equalizer. Skill is thrown out. However I also think that sometimes you need to make a stand.. and getting in 60/40 against someone is not the worst you can do. So I took my stand and went down in flames. Pretty normal.

However as I said to Prophet I do not think jamming AT is a profitable move.. At least Prophet was shorter stacked and making a move.. where J had PLENTY of play left at over 20BB AND I warned his ass that if he re-raised me again I was calling him. So at BEST he is a 40/60 dog.. probably at worst 30/70.. Why risk your game on that when you do not have to with a weak fucking hand? Obviously my original opinion of lack of skill is the only logical conclusion.

I do not know why I care about you all so much to point out your horrible play. It is not like you ever change.. or maybe.. you do change.. sometimes.. maybe makes it all worth it? Makes a tear come to my eye.

Ok before I get too mushy.. I am in deep trouble with my son now. Dr. Pauly published Mini Waffles story in his online magazine. So anyway he needed a short bio and so I submitted this without Mini Waffles permission:

Mini Waffles is currently a student and enjoys writing stories for his classmates, playing basketball, and checking out hot chicks on TV.

He asked me to print out the story for his class so he could prove he got published in such a fine online magazine. So he was reading the article.. and saw the Bio I submitted.. and well lets just say my arm is still sore from that punch he gave me. I am going to have to give him more potato chips and less karate.

Last but not least if someone would like to trade some PayPal dollars for some Full Tilt dollars let me know. I am looking to get 250-500 online via a trade. IM me if you are at all interested.

See you all tonight in the "No Skillz" game. I have been doing pretty good in this one lately so it should be fun.

Monday, March 24, 2008

I Dunno Whats Wrong with you Tards

jmathewson_IIIa I was going to rant and rave about you. However I sat back and asked myself "Is he any better than a 40/60 player?", "Does he ever get in any better than that?", "Is he just a retarded push monkey?".. and you know what.. I came to the conclusion that he is. A retarded push monkey. If he can jam ATo into a raise.. that is the best he will ever get into a pot. 40/60 dog is probably MUCH better than he usually gets into a pot with. So I can not rant on the poor person. He is just too stupid to know any better. So good luck to you.. and next time your outside the library trying to push the door in for an hour.. only to find out they PULL OUT.. well I will be praying for you..

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Back-ed in Black

Well I am all set for the entire BBT3 and no it was not that cheap skate Fuel. I found another backer. Fuel wanted 50% and wanted me to come up with 1/4 the buyin for the events myself. Hello? I am going to win the WSOP just to spite Fuel! Hell maybe I can even knock him out of it if he plays. HAHAH! Anyway should be fun. I am really just interested in being in all the games and having a chance to test my mettle against the entire field of bloggers. You bitches are so going down.

Oh yeah and why is my Wife being such a fucking bitch? She yells at me for being asleep when her and the kids come home. Not leaving the light on outside. Not reminder her to take her keys. Not waking up when she was banging the door. Finally like 3-4 minutes later I stumble from my sleep and let them in. Why the fuck is it my problem that you forgot your keys you fucking whore? Go fuck yourself. If I wanna sleep I will and if you forget your keys thats your own problem you cunt. I so do not know how I stopped from strangling her.

Oh and while I am at it WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS Thats Amore Show? I mean who is that fucking little fuzzy headed jackass? Am I out of the loop? I mean ok he has a ton of money from Italy? Is he a mobster? I mean tell me that cash chasing hoe Kim would be seen within 1000 yards of that short little fuck if he did not have money? Pleeeeeeaaaasseeee. Fuck I have to make a million bucks so I can get some cash chasing fucking whores to suck my dick too. Jesus. Does he really think anyone one of those chicks is sincere? Wow. What a numbskull. What is it with the Brokeback cowboy with him too? Is he fucking gay and just having fun with these chicks? I am so confused.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Demise Prematurely Announced

I guess my demise was prematurely announced. I am currently sitting at eighteen bucks and a token. So Don's dead pool will have to wait for payout. Oops. Stacked another one. Twenty one bucks. BLACKJACK!

Anyways.. I will be sitting out the BBT3 unless a backer shows up. Which is kind of sad because I was playing pretty well in a final two tables in every event kinda way.. working my way to 16th best blogger at one point. If anyone is interested IM or email me. I would be interested in a 50/50 deal including any WSOP packages I win. We can decide up front if I play in the even or we split the 12K entry package. Either way is fine with me.

I am pretty disappointed that I went insane yet again last night. I should be used to it. Someday I may reconcile my talent vs my penchance to go insane and stack off. As my good friend and poker mentor Don says it's all part of the game. You can not say your a good poker player and stack off until 4AM in the morning. Ah well. Someday maybe. At least it does not cost me anything from my banking account. Of course that could possibly be the problem.

Bayne suggests I use my token for a 26$ KO 90-Peep Event. Possibly a good idea as each KO is worth four bucks. I may do that. Peace.

Thanks Full Tilt

Pot size: $150. Capped pre- five ways. Capped flop 4 ways. I end up with top pair.. The guy who capped pre-flop and on the flop had 69o. The other two folded so I assume they had a draw. Nice gutshot fucktard. Thanks Full Tilt. I love you too.

Self Destruct initiated.

Meltdown complete. Set of Aces. Down to Tc flush draw. Wrap. Down to set of 8's. Made the wrap on the turn. Runner flush river. Fucking poker is stupid.

Thursday, March 20, 2008


Im gonna fucking hit something. 16th in the 11K. ARGGG! Fucking hate 16th. Came down to three hands. A9 vs A8.. A8 spikes an 8 on the river. Not heavy betting in the hand besides my pre-flop raise but he bet min on turn and river.. and it cost me about 20k of my 40k stack. I should have raised him off the hand wayyyyy before the river. He did have 175K though so who knows.

Second error in judgment was folding my AQ to 2 all-in before me. Now technically this might not be an error. I thought there was a good shot I was dominated. However I did need chips. The hands I was against were KJ and 88.. and I would have spiked an Ace to win the pot.

Finally I was getting desperate and called the CO jam with A2.. he had A9 and that was it for me. I really only had like 5BB left so whatever. I guess the AQ hand cost me a chance for the final table. Sucks. I play a hand like AK and flop a king and go out in 18th.. and I fold a hand like AQ and would have flopped an Ace and go out in 16th. I can never get it exactly right. Bah.

Picks for todays games

I hate you all so much. So I am going to post my picks on the games for today. I seriously hope Pure Prophet has the exact same picks as me.

12:20pm Xavier - 8.5 Georgia
Umm.. I like the letter X. It is fucking cool. So I pick Xavier! Go X-Men!

12:25pm Kansas -21.5 Portland St.
Two hick towns. I guess I will go with the favorite Kansas. What an upset that would be? haha. Go COOLER POWERS!

12:30pm Michigan St -7.5 Temple
If they go to Temple they must be good Jewish boys so lets go with them.

2:30pm Marquette -6 Kentucky
I did not even know there was a Marquette state. Did we add another state like Puerto Mexico? I guess I will stick with the original states and give Kentucky a nod.

2:50pm Purdue -2.5 Baylor
I like chicken! Especially the nuggets! Goooo Purdue!

2:55pm Kent St. -1.5 UNLV
Kent sounds like a fag name so I will go with the initials. UNLV. Is that Las Vegas? Haha hope so.

3:00pm Pittsburgh -8.5 Oral Roberts
Nothing good ever came out of Pittsburgh and Oral is great so I will go with that.

5:00pm Stanford -14.5 Cornell
Cornballs or someone from Connecticut? Tough tough choice. hmmm. Wait, is this a different Stanford? hmmm. I am so confused. I guess I will go with Stanford.

7:10pm Duke -20 Belmont
Hmmm.. Is it Daisy Duke or KKK Duke? This could make all the difference you know. Umm. Whateva let's go with Duke.

7:10pm USC -3 Kansas St.
I have had steak in Kansas and it was fucking good! GOOOOO STEAK!

7:20pm Washington St. -9.5 Winthrop
I have been to Winthrop MA and lemme tell you that is a bunch of fucking losers. I will go with Washington.

7:25pm Texas A&M -1.5 Brigham Young
Now normally I am against anything from Texas. I would like to be against April. She is a hottie. Getting hotter ever day too. She is doing really great with getting to a weight she wants to be at. I am very proud of her. Anyways.. Brigham Young is such a fucking pussy name. I just can not choose them so it is Texas A&M.

9:40pm Wisconsin -11.5 Cal St. Fullerton
I like cheeeeeese!

9:40pm West Virginia -2 Arizona
Which hicks to choose.. hmm.. The Virginia ones are more inbred I think. Longer time to breed so I will take Arizona.

9:50pm Notre Dame -6.5 George Mason
I like Rudy! Notre Dame is a fucking retard school though. I am picking George Mason just because.

9:55pm UCLA -32 Mississippi Valley State
WOW 32 points!!! That is one fucking big spread. I will take Mississippi just to see if my cooler powers can overcome such a great obstacle.

Anyway whats a good record in one of these? Like if I lose say 90% does that prove cooler powers? 80%? Anyhow I know nothing about Brackets and College and Hoops so these picks are all out of my asshole obviously.

I do hope to cripple someone in their Bracket because I am so fucking pissed off still from last night it is unbelievable. Not at PureProphet per say but at taking 8th in general. I think I played a really unbelievable game with basically zero suckouts for any large amount of chips. I also did not race when behind often except a few calls I made when I had a ton of chips and tried to bust someone. Even those calls I do not thing were bad and never constituted more than 10-15% of my stack.

Tonight I will be trying for 11th in the Riverchasers as this is my lot in life.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Played a Brilliant Game

However I came up short when Prophet decided AT was worth most of her chips. Now I watched Prophet play for a while and I think she played a fine game. Why would you call off most of your chips with ATo though? I think the only hands I had shown most of the night were things like AA-TT, AQ, AJ, AK.. and maybe some small pairs.. So what exactly is ahead of me? I dunno. Whatever. I moved up from 12th place finishes to 8th place finishes. I guess that is good. I just could not get lucky when it counted. I outflopped buddy with JJ vs QQ and he spikes a queen on the river.. I get in three times in race situations vs Lucifer and once against Buddy and lose all four. I then jam my small pocket pair against an obvious position raise hoping that someone in this tourney can fold.. but not being too surprised that they can not.. and the ten on the river seals my night. Fucking retarded. If I had 1/10th the luck Loretta had I would make a fortune. Not berating Loretta's skills because I have MUCH respect for them but damn did he get lucky. Ah well. Screw you all. See you tomorrow night as I probably come in 7th this time.. but probably more like 105th. Fuckers. Ah shit. I can't swear anymore because MiniDonk who I adore is reading this blog.

Holy shit too.. Talk about coolers. Our hot Au Pair is going back to Germany in a week and being replaced by this hideous dog Au Pair. I mean jesus she is one fucking ugly bitch. It looks like her momma mated with a Pug Dog. Hope she is good with the kids. Otherwise I am selling her to a prostitution ring!!! All those 3rd world hooker slaves are fucking ugly. I mean they expect to come here and be waitresses.. most waitresses are not known for good looks. Anyway see you all tomorrow night.

Horrible Idea

I know this is a horrible idea.. but I have a legal question to any of you Lawyer/Poker players who Hoyazo says infest this realm. So as you may or may not know a year or so ago my little daughter (three at the time) was in the "care" of a small (But Ritzy) gym chain in their tots program. These buffoons were not watching her closely and also had the mats setup wrong and also she was on equipment she should not have been on and she fell. She snapped the bone in her arm and had to be rushed to the hospital where they put her on a morphine drip and set her arm as she howled in amazing amounts of pain. No fun for anyone. So anyway the insurance company wants to send us 5K to settle the whole thing and not sue the fuck out of them. We probably were not going to sue the fuck out of them but were considering it.

My first question is how do you quantify the value of this kind of case. Is it worth going after them for more money? Is there some easy way to figure out a probable dollar amount? I mean if we are talking a few thousand more then its probably not worth it. If we are talking 10-20K more and up then why the fuck not. Consider that she is four and very cute. Go Jury!!!!!!

The second question is how do we protect against future problems. Now she has been back to the doctors and the arm is growing back correctly and nothing is out of place. Hopefully that is the end of it but there might be a slight chance it does not heal correctly and she might need surgery in the future. I assume taking the payout stops us from getting this treatment paid for in the future. Is this something we should be concerned about? Would insurance cover it all? Any idea? Can we make a clause that any future medical bills related to the injury must be paid by them but we will not ask for future pain and suffering damages?

Anyway I figured I would throw it out there for the fuck of it. Let me know if anyone has any experience with this kind of thing.


Ooops. Riverfuckers is NOT tomorrow it is the Mookie. Further proof you are dead to me man!!!! Oh and since I am here.. guy on the train that rubbed his junk against my arm so people could get by him.. EWWWWWWWW!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Getting a Littttleeee Sick of it All

I am sorta getting sick of 10,12,18, etc.. I mean it is kind of nice that I have scored in the Skillz game like 3 weeks in a row. It is also nice that the majority of the MTTs and SNGs I am playing I am going to the final two tables.. but I am getting fucking fed up of not hitting the big final table spot. Gah! Oh well.

Tonight I was semi-fucked by BuddhoHorseman. He hit his gutshot against my straight draw and someones made pair. I think you have to fold a gutshot before that point.. but I probably should have dumped my OESD somewhere too.. or raised it.. I am not sure. This is where I am weak in Stud. When do you let go of your OESD or Flush draw? I normally if I make the draw by 4th will be in it to the river assuming no scary opponent board. So is this too aggressive? What is the common strategy assuming none of your outs are visibly gone and you have the OESD vs a tame opponent board????!?

Anyhow Riverfuckers is tomorrow. I am looking forward to it as that is a game I seem to go deep in also. It was nice to money tonight but I need to do better. Especially considering I had the lead from 75th to like 25th. Sick.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bad Night

THEFATBLOKE: i actually lost my wife last week
SirFWALGMan: congrats
- Waffles Quote of the Night

Had a dry night. Got short in 11K Guaranteed and jammed A4 into Q9. Lost. Went deep in a 90-peep and had someone call off half his stack with 78o. Lost. Retard please die. I should have know it was gonna be a bad night when the first hand of the MATH I have KK vs AA not re-raised pre-flop. Pretty fucking tricky Buddy. Of course he is a pussy so I only lost the minimum. I never could get anything going though and went out early. Oh well.

A Tribute to Riggs

I found the always eloquent MiniDonk to be especially profound as she gushed about the frat boys Riggs poker playing acumen. If you are not reading the darling young MiniDonk you should be. She outplayed most of the bloggers in the Jenn Harman Kill a Dog Marathon. I enjoy her blog immensely and think it is much better than some supposed A-Listers out there.

Normally I totally disagree with the youngster about Riggs abilities at the virtual felt. All I have seen him do really is spew his entire stack with monster starting hands like Q5o. As a matter of fact MiniDonks post seems to backup my supposition that he is a freaking nutjob pushmonkey. However I did have the distinguished pleasure of chatting with the frat boy during the Jenn Harmon Euphanise a Cat Today MTT. While I will not go into the deep poker discussions we had, because you fish might be dangerous if you learn something, I can vouch that the Worlds Worst Poker Player thinks Riggs is a damn good player.

I, Shane I Hate You Fucker

Go ahead and read the first three posts for the first few responses. I am doing the next few here. I know you probably thought I dropped this crap. However I love my readers and will continue doing these until I puke.

I read this on I,Shane and thought it was interesting.

Comment on this entry, and I will:

1. Tell you why I am friends with you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
6. In return, you must post this to your own journal/blog.

Prison Guy
1. I am friends with you because you scare me
2. I associate you with Prison. Please update your blog so I can associate you with good things like Butterflies and Asian Women.
3. I like that you do not live near me
4. Prison. Prison. Prison.
5. So were you really innocent?

Instant Tragedy
1. I am friend with you because I see you as my next step in fuckeduppedness if that is a word.
2. I associate you with Tragedy
3. I like that your open and love your kids a ton
4. I remember you railing me in countless tourneys which I proceeded to lose
5. How did you decide to become a DJ?

1. I am friends with you because you are a bigger donator than I am.
2. I associate you with skiddoo which I in turn associate with some cosmic marshmallow being that goes around spreading gooey goodness.
3. I like that you think I am kidding when I call you a donator.
4. My latest memory of you is you running over the 200/NL blogger table and sucking out on MiamiDon with AK vs KK all in. It was truly funny.
5. Who is the best Atlanta Blogger player in your opinion?

Poker Enthusiast
1. I am friends with you because I do not have anything better to do
2. I associate you with Mo Vaugh.. a fat ass who has to hit a home run to score because he can NOT make it around the bases.
3. Much like JJ I like the fact you are around all day to help me pass the boredom with the girlie chat.
4. My latest memory of you is you standing me up for Vegas!! BASTARD! Even JJ showed up! Grr. Get your ass there next time!!!!
5. What makes you think you can write a Razz Blog? :).

Sunday, March 16, 2008


SirFWALGMan (Observer): i hope a dog eats your balls

I have a headache and toothache and I feel like shit. Since I am charitable I played the fucking Jen Harmon donkathon. I got knocked out when A8 jammed my raise and I called with 55 for not much more. I then had about 10K left and I jam steal from MP and some donk with TJo calls for half his fucking chips? WHAT THE FUCK! I mean seriously. There is no fold equity or god. I went out in 216th place of 3000. Fucking retards.

Friday, March 14, 2008

I wanna be better

I told Hoyazo last night that I raised 3xBB, got called by Jenn, the flop came K42, and I proceeded to get crippled by 44 with 12 people left. Actually I had 3k left and brilliantly put a hurting on Donkette with 84o to straggle into 12th place. I went down with K9c when my opponent rightfully called my Hoy with A4o. I flopped the flush draw but was not able to take it home. My last dollar went down with AJc vs Ducks. The ducks jammed the flop to protect my dollar but I was not able to win.

Anyway back to the main topic. Hoyazo was of the opinion that you just get fucked there. Now I respect the hell out of Hoyazo, I really think he is one of the most thinking players out there, but I do not really want to get stacked there. I am of two minds about this.

I hear shit like "Well you just go broke there" all the time. Like Donkeypuncher last night running his Kings into my Aces. The majority of people are like oh well it happens.

In one way I entirely agree with both of those sentiments. I mean MTT play is a huge chunk of skill but also a GIGANTIC amount of good timing AKA LUCK. I understand this and realize I beat myself up about these hands way too often.

On the other hand I think I can be a much better player. I think I can get away from the coolers. I can dig deep and figure out where I am. Last night I almost knocked Vinnay out of the Riverfuckers early when he semi-bluffed his 72o into my 3rd pair. It felt wrong but I did not go with that feeling. Against someone I have played with often enough I should trust that read. The AK hand against some Jenn person last night was the same thing. I had not played Jenn and did not know her well. I had no read that I was ahead or behind to her shove. I just called blind. If I have no read at all I think I need to let it go.

I am pretty psyched about my raw talent and ability to be better. I just need to bring it all together in the action phase and I will fuck some shit up. I will be the guy who folds Kings pre-flop if he knows he is beat and calls off his entire stack with bottom pair if he knows he is ahead. It is all going to come together and then you all will be in trouble.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Sick Sick SNG

My night was pretty horrid. First in the Mookie Predator06 had a hooker come to his house and since he was paying by the hour he tried to bust out quickly. I mean the guy was jamming ATC.. So I get the bright idea to stand up to his 'tarded play and jam my measly pocket fours into his early position raise. I am extremely brilliant and when he called and turned over 83 diamonds my great play was rewarded EXCEPT that I failed to take into account that I was in middle position and the guy on the CO had Cowboys. So recap. I jam my fours. Kings rejam. Idiot with 83d calls. The Cowbows hold up and I go home sad. At least I outlasted that retard Fuel.

I then played a 6.60 SNG. Now this went a little better and I found myself HU for the championship of the world with a 13K to 700 chip lead. Then this motherfucker goes on one of the sickest runs ever. Some of the highlights of her ten suckouts in a row. I got my kings cracked by 64o. I got in bad with K6 vs K9 but the flop gave me a miracle six the river took it back with a nine. I got in with J4 vs J5.. again I flop a four and the river brings a five. I got in a few races with 33 vs A6 and A9 vs Q6. Lost. I swear this cunt went on a ten to fifteen hand unbeatable streak and this was after she knocked the third place stack out with K5c vs K9 where she rivers a club flush. I know I complain about my bad luck but this was unfucking believable. If anyone would like an email of the match I will send it to you. It has to be seen to be believed. All I request is that you apologize for doubting me in the comments.

I ended the night trying two more SNGs. Nothing remarkable in these. I played the 180-peep on Stars. Went deep. Then with the blinds at 200 decided to risk a race with sevens.. against eight.. ick. I really enjoyed this game as the play was horrible and I will be trying it again. I also played a six peep 6.60 which I failed at when my flopped OESD/Flush draw could not outrace the all powerful 99 over cards.

I finished the night getting fucked in the ass by Pushmonkey as he played some crappy 8249 hand or some shit like that to my AK35 double s000ted god of a hand with a 248 two heart flop. I outdrew him on the turn when I hit my straight and he fucking redrew to a higher straight on the river. Cocksucker. I really fucking hate you almost as much as Coxlover. I should just disappear from FT forever.. you will never find me.. It gets tiring when people gun for you every night. I feel like Doyle Brunson but with less money.

Tonight is Riverfuckers for sure. Probably another 180-peep too. I used to do great in those on Stars. Speaking of Riverfuckers our own AlCantHang has a heart of gold.. it is mixed with booze.. but gold and booze baby.. He asks anyone who can to send a little donation to a friend walking in some Philadelphia Cancer walk. Now I have driven through Philadelphia and believe me I would NEVER walk through it. Fucking burning cars, people shooting each other in the streets, real Ghetto. So I think donating to this poor doomed person is a good idea. If you want to throw a little something in go to her shill site and give it up. Al assures me that I can get some good Karma from a donation so I will be sending a little something myself.

Last but not least..

One Live Chicken $25
One Live Bunny $37
A three child cart $55
Expert film services $500
JJ having a heart attack from his wife's picture obsession priceless

Peace out people.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Lost Focus

I went deep in the No-Skillz game last night. Then I lost focus and flamed out of both that and the MTT I was running at Bodog. Some nights you just get tired and stop thinking. I find PLO very difficult to play because it does require a lot of concentration to win. On the good side I pretty much covered my entry in knockouts including some of my favorite people like Bayne and Swimmom. I flamed out when the blinds were 1K and I had 8K left. I tried to pull a move on Astin when he had two pair. I knew he had two pair but I thought he might consider a set. In actuality it would have been better to bluff the turn. If I was more focused at that point I would have just folded. To add insult to the hand he had almost exactly the same cards as I did except I had a ten and he had a nine so I was drawing VERY thin. Oh well. Just read that Smokkee won it all. He was playing a good game. Congrats.

It was a lot of fun seeing Fuel complain as he misplayed almost every hand. Now I fully accept I suck at PLO. As Bayne often tells me. However Fuel was making mistakes even I would not make. Like calling me down with Jacks unimproved on an overcard board. Overplaying pocket pairs like a maniac. It was pretty funny. The best hand was when someone jammed a low all club flop and Fuel called with Queens no clubs and won the hand and said "WTF!" to the other player. I say "WTF! Both of you donks". It was good to see him even if he did not donk off much to me.

In the Bodoggy I went out early. I am perfectly fine with my play in the hand. I had the best hand on the turn and Chad as he does often in these small stakes game just jammed his draw on the turn and hit on the river. I am not really sad that I got in as a 65% favorite with one card to go. I also got bumped in my SNG the same way when Ace high flush draw jammed the turn against my queens. I even had one of his outs. Guess sometimes it is not your night. Chad pushmonkeyed out of the Skillz game too. I have to assume he does not play these things like he would a normal MTT otherwise I can not see how he ever wins anything.

I guess we are enemies again too. I have been busy and lazy about doing his Poker Blogger DB. Honestly I was not all that excited to make something for free for the guy and have him profit off it. He told me in IM last night "DO NOT IM ME EVER AGAIN! I ONLY TALKED TO YOU FOR THE POKERDB". Now some people think he was joking but I doubt it. I sort of had that feeling from the beginning anyways. I cried myself to sleep. It was very traumatic. He also said I am a failure as a nerd. That one hurt. As I cashed the dozen side job checks for the month and await my nice sized paycheck on Friday I reflected on what a failure I am. I am so ashamed. I always thought I overachieved for my limited intellect. Oh well. Time to reassess life because if an immature donkey tells you that your a failure it must be true.

I will see you all tonight at the Mookie. I really hate this event the most of all. I used to like it a lot but now I curse that rabbit spawner every Wednesday. I may forgive him if I win one of these. Thursday nights Riverchasers I will also attend. Now Riverfuckers as opposed to Mookie is one of my favorite games. If I stay patient in it I usually do very well.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Which one is the Pope?

Can you tell which one is the pope and which is that scary guy from the Poltergeist II movie? Huh? can you? Did not think so.

What the fuck is up with Vitamins? I figure since I am old and shit and my diet would kill a goat I would take some Centrum or something. I passed on the Silver until next year. Anyway does that shit taste like crap? Are you supposed to chew it? I mean I know it has zinc and shit in it but does it have to taste like dirt? I felt like I shoved a handful of dirt in my mouth. I mean wow.

Props to the sexy lady on the train. Spreading your legs wide open while sitting down is wicked hot. I appreciated it. It was great we got off at the same stop too.. Please do not walk as fast next time though. It is hard to keep up.

Asshole blocking the isle in the train not so good. I mean do you really have to stand across the whole fucking isle? Do you not think maybe someone might want to get past you and your fucking retarded backpack. I mean jesus where the fuck are you hiking to retard? It's the fucking city!!! HELLO! Get the fuck out of my way.

As far as comments on my KQ hand? Ya think you could tell me what you would have done? Fold? Jam pre- and pray? What is the right move that deep. I am leaning towards fold now. It is such a thin line between accumulating chips and getting blinded off in these things especially since everyone raises in position. Makes it tough to play sometimes. Anyway still hitting it. My last few non-blogger MTTs I have gone deep and hit the baby money. Hoping for something better soon.

Three months and counting since I said I was going to get that damn exercise bike.. One of these days. Peace.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Fucking MTTs

I went pretty deep in the 10$ KO. Finished up 18th. I think I fucked up HUGE though. I am not sure where I could play this better except losing only half my stack or folding pre-flop which I do a lot.

So anyways the CO raised my blind for the millionth time. I look down and see KQ s00ted so being a donkey I call his 6K raise. The blinds are at 2k and we both have 30k stacks which put us both in the 8-10 slot with 18 people left.

So the flop comes K52 and the original raiser leads out for a c-bet sized bet. I call. The turn is a ten. I now have around 10k in the pot and bet out 10k more when he checks. So if I fold here I have maybe like 12-16k left. Anyway he jams all in and I end up calling and getting stacked by a set. Bad call I guess. Anyone play this hand differently before the all in call? I know I could fold pre-flop to the CO raise but is that too pussy? I know I could also fold to the turn jam and save half my stack. Was leading out with a bet on the turn a bad play? Is it a cooler? I am really interested in this hand because it made the difference between a sucky 18th place finish and possibly a much better one. Who knows for sure. I am really interested in the good MTT players opinions like Chad and Hoyazo. All others are of course welcome to comment.

I am officially almost old

Thirty-nine came and went this weekend. How did I spend the last few minutes? I fell asleep in my rocking chair. Pathetic. Oh well. I pretty much slept most of the weekend. I am sorta feeling blah this week. I dunno. I did get ice cream cake though! WOOT! A card from my little sweetie daughter too. My son said he did not have time to make my card but promises me one in the near future. As if. Bankroll is on fumes. Extended losing periods suck. I do think I have been playing much better lately so we will see how it goes.

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Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Weak Night

Finished 28th in the 11K Guarenteed KO. Had 5 KO's too. Ran pretty well until the end. I had the ultimate cooler with 170 left. Well pretty close. I have AKc and EP raised. The flop came Kxx 2 clubs. So I get all in with the 8K stack and he has Aces. I do not improve. How do I not improve? Ah well. I went from 2nd to like 20th in that one hand. I never really recovered. I hung in and finally with 28 left and a smallish stack I jammed KJ into AA from the CO into the SB. Not sure what I could have done different there. I was folding like a motherfucker. So anyway no big cash for me tonight. Did well though. I used Joanne's super secret method for luck. It seemed to work well until the end.

The Mookie sucked. I raised KT from the CO and got re-raised. I felt that the person did not have a great hand so I jammed. They called with AJ and that was the end of my night. While I do not totally agree with the play I do concede they may have had a read or something.. of course JJ disagrees. heh.

What else. I dunno. Riverchasers tomorrow with my hard earned ninety bucks from the 11K. I may play that game again. I have played twice and I think I made the cash both times. No positive. Oh well. The six max format is fun since you can be more aggressive. Sometimes more aggressive is not good for me though.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Finally Enlightment

I myself induced some life tilt on Sirfwalgman. During the second hour I rivered a straight against flopped trips and his vitriol spewed forth. When Sirfwalgman raised and another player smooth called I knew I was going to push the flop before I even completed my Big Blind. Nevertheless perceived donkery is still donkery no matter the reasoning.
-- Life's a Grind when your Stupid

Brilliant. I take back everything I said. I can see your reasoning here. I am going to call the blind vs two players showing strength and then jam no matter what the flop is with a really weak hand. It is just amazing level nine million thinking. I humbly bow at your feet you guru of poker wisdom. I guess losing the big game is worth the entertainment value. Oh yeah. It is a SET not TRIPS. Minor point.

I, Shane Part Tripplets

Go ahead and read the first two posts for the first few responses. I am doing the next few here. I will get to 23Skiddoo and Prison guy next.

I read this on I,Shane and thought it was interesting.

Comment on this entry, and I will:

1. Tell you why I am friends with you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
6. In return, you must post this to your own journal/blog.

Bam Bam
1. I need friends I am so lonely.
2. I associate you with pedophiles.. fucking adult playing with Flintstones cartoons it is not natural.
3. I like your jovial personality
4. I guess my main memory is chatting at the Blogger get together while I was totally drunk off my ass. Normally I do not drink much because I am no good at it.
5. Now the Pebbles57 I see at Blogger events is that your wife? Or do you have another Pebbles somewhere?

Joanada AKA Scary Lady
1. You are a hot female. Nuff said.
2. I associate you with the Scary Lady of my poker nightmares. You scare me.
3. I like you. You are a very fun person to be around. Very open and nice and pretty. I think your a great person.
4. Same memory as Kat I suppose. Little threesome action going on. I had such a great time with you guys. You really made me feel special.
5. How come you smoke? Cmon! Smokes are bad for pretty ladies. If Al wants to chew the cancer stick that is ok but you better quit! heh.

1. You and Fastpitch are the only two who work less than I do.. maybe Bayne too.. So I need you to chat with on IM all day long while I am bored.
2. I associate you with your signature hand: JJ. Always. Forever. I will not even call you by your birth name. You are just JJ.
3. You are a laid back person. Totally cool and fun to hang with.
4. I remember endless hours in the IM chat and then finally meeting you in person. It was a pleasure.
5. Why would anyone want to live in Texas?

1. You give me so many chips I only feel it is right
2. Now that I have seen the Eh-Vegas pictures I associate you with an overgrown frat boy who never grew up.
3. I think your a pretty generous person behind all the bravado and childishness.
4. All my memories of you consist of you jamming Q6o into a three way pot and losing. At least you have the decency to lose.
5. How did you think up the idea for a business around Riverchasers and implement that whole thing. Business people fascinate me. At least when there not ripping people off.

1. You so bouncy
2. I associate you with Lemon, JackAces, and the letter R.
3. I like your energy. You are like a kid cracked out on Caffeine and Sugar. It is pretty awesome.
4. I guess my main memories will always be you and your girlfriend standing me up for my first strip club in Vegas and missing out on Nekkid pictures.
5. Have you ever had lesbian sex? *drool* Glad I saved that one.

I am the Best

Poker is funny. I usually hate it the most when I am playing the best. I mean you can not play any better than to get someone all in needing runner-runner cards to win. It is impossible to do any better. Now my good friend LifeCure.. er.. Ok, I am becoming confused in my old age.. anyways.. I would love to hear the solid poker foundation he has for calling 3-bets pre-flop with his shortish stack with T9o. I mean obviously nobody would have him dominated if he hit his lets say ten. Obviously not because top pair is gold for donkeys. I would have major respect for the guy if he jammed his hand pre-flop hoping for a race or to pick up the dead money. I would have to consider folding if he did jam. Calling with T9o against two opponents who have raised and then thinking your ten is good. Um. No respect. Sorry. That kind of play is the ultimate display of lack of good fundamental poker skills that you can ever show. It is textbook moronic.

Anyway I may play the Math tonight. Who knows. I might do something that actually makes me money instead like side work. This fucking cold is killing me. I have been sleeping and coughing all weekend. No fun.

I will say I am happy with my play lately. I am playing solid winning poker. If I keep with it the results will come. It is just really disappointing to lose with seriously dominating hands in crucial spots like that.

I am working on the next series of responses for Joanne, the Scary Lady of poker, CK, BAM BAM and the rest of comment posters including prison guy. My birthday is in five days. I will be 207. Thank you all for reading.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

So fucking mad

I am so fucking mad right now. I play a great game for 2 fucking hours and then Easycure thinks T9o is a calling hand pre-flop. Then he thinks top pair fucking 9 kicker is good against the set of tens I flopped. Obviously the cure for his fucking brainlessness is not easy. Except he fucking runner-runner straights me. Fucking making an idiotic play on a flush draw board without even one fucking flush card and fucking gets paid off. What a fucking retard. I fucking hate poker.

** Lol. Sorry EasyCure. Please Replace LifesAGrind for EasyCure in above rant. lol. Although I am sure Easycure is a donkey too.