Mookie You Whore

Ack! Out in the Mookie again.. I will never cash in this MTT ever again. I can tell. You would not believe the crazy fucking suckout that stl_philly put on me. Worst fucking donkey move I have ever seen.. He limps in the small blind.. so I pop it with AT.. and he re-pops me.. and so what the fuck I jam.. He thinks forever meaning he knows he is a retard to make this move.. and finally calls with AK.. What a moron. I mean really how the hell does he not fold that? I dunno. Bloggers. Or lurkers. Or whatever the fuck he is.

Anyhooo... My daughter is too smart for her own good. She has learned the fun of prank calling.. combine that with an excellent recall for numerical digits and you have hell in the making..

Case One: Daughter calls my mother over and over and over again.. at 9:00.. at night.. this from a five year old. Ack! Now 9:00 does not seem late to us young people but old bags need their sleep..

Case Two: Daughter calls me at work numerous times. "Hello, This is police. You come down to station now".. Sounds like a drunk Chinese lady. "Hello, this is police. Monkey running loose in your house. Please come now.". ARG! All day at work!!!

Case Three: Revenge baby. She calls up. So I call her phone back "Hello, Who is this? This is officer blinky from the town. Do you know prank calls are illegal? I may have to come and arrest you.". Click! Boom! Ha!

You would think my evil ways would cause her to stop prank calling.. but nooooooooo.. she never learns.. sometimes I wish the kids were more like their mom.

Omatard

I played a little more Oaklahoma last night. Fun game. I for sure went off the deep end in old fashion or new fashion Waffles style.. finally hit the 1/2 game and doubled up to end the night off ahead.. Ha! Perhaps that is the secret to winning at poker.. always chase your loses until you win.. but alas that never works out in the end. Oh well.. it was fun anyways.

I played a real mix of good and bad poker.. I had several OESD/Flush draw combo's and missed them all.. the most fun was to someone who could not let go of TPTK.. I potted the flop, turn, and value bet the river with my draw. He of course called all three bets with naked AQ TPTK. No draws. Nothing. Good for him. I also had a guy put his whole stack in drawing to a flush and hit. So even though I won 160 playing 1/2.. I probably gave back around 60-80 of it. Oh well a win is a win..

Tonight I give that bitch the Mook another chance. She better put out or I am going to slap her in the face.

Land of the Omatards

** NOTE: All money went in on the flop. He bet. I raised. He re-raised. I jammed all in. Also please note how much poker hates me as not one but two of the cards he needed came out. Now poker did not have to kick me in the balls then mash them into the ground when I was down but that is how poker and I get along.

SO I have ventured into the lands of the PLO Omatards. It is a fun land. I can play 75% of my hands pre-flop and not be too too far off. Ok.. I should fold a little more. However the Omatards can get even luckier than the NLHolEs.. Yes my friends as you can see my 80% type hands still do not hold up. Instead of the retards having just 9 outs to a flush.. or 4 outs to a boat.. they tend to possibly have more outs. These fuckers never fold and I want them to never fold. I want to ass rape them bad.

I have had some mixed results and really mixed play.. I have played horribly and won like tonight when I sorta knew the guy had AA.. but called with KK anyway because fuck I was getting 3:1 on my money and he at best was 60% fav in the hand.. especially against two of us.. I ended up having my ten spike trips for the win. Sweet.

I have played some excellent Omaha too.. and as you can see from the above result which was like the 5th hand I played on the table.. sometimes perfect is not enough..
I am coming to terms with poker these days.. a little step back and some perspective have been wonderful.

There are a bunch of myths about poker and the least of which is not that if you are skilled you will win. Just because you are better than the other retards at the table does not guarantee you will win. If you think that it does you should just quit right now. There are two outcomes in any poker hand: You win or you lose. Profound, huh? It is really a simple game and once you realize that you can stop taking it so seriously and have fun with it instead.

I wish someone smart would expound on the effect rat-holeing has on online poker. I mean if most of your table is going to double up and leave then is your edge over time removed? As soon as he sucks out on you and leaves you have lost your chance to get your money back from him.. Now we all know that there are 100 retards to replace the one who stole your money and ran but I wonder what kind of effect it has on the game..

Why am I rambling about poker in such a prophetic way.. I am fucking bored what do you think? Jesus. Grow up fuckers. See you at the tables.

Fuck Ya

Carmen the hottie has a great post up. She asked everyone for their most embarrassing moments.

I think the Rake's comment was kinda dumb.. If I wake up with some chick and I do not know her name who gives a fuck. As long as I remember getting laid. She can be Hottie, babe, Cutie, Sweetie, whateva. I also think Craig still wets his bed.

I was going to wax philosophically about the aging process but I think I will just be quiet.

Here is a funny story that involves my wife for a change. She runs as good as me sometimes. Her company had an outing yesterday and it involved walking around a famous landmark in Boston. So she is walking about and lugging her heavy bag around when this guy walks up and offers to carry it. So she let's him and they start talking.. he is from Drizzles part of the world originally this is why he was nice instead of trampling her on the way up the stairs... So she gets her picture taken with him and they hit the bar and chat it up a little.. Eventually the wife is talking with her co-worker and the person says "You know who that is who carried your bags right".. and my wife is like "um, no, so nice guy?".. Nope.. it turns out to be her bosses .. bosses .. boss.. one step removed from the CEO of the entire company. She was mortified.. I suggested she tip him a quarter and tell him thanks.

Until later.

Idiots

What the fuck is it with people who drive these days. Cocksuckers all of them. I am heading out to work today and the wife calls. She hits a nail in the road and has a flat with the kids and the hot baby sitter. So she wants me to come down and switch cars with her. SO ok.. I head out and with the help of Massachusetts roadside assistance we get the car back on the road. Thank you Doug!

So anyway.. I am in the breakdown lane waiting to merge back into traffic. The breakdown lanes are on both sides of the highway and I am on the fast lane side. So I signal I want to pull out and start speeding up and can a single fucking prick driving slow down and let me in? Fuck no. It would cramp their entire day to slow down and lose those five seconds of their life to being courteous and safe. Fuckers. I hope they all die. I finally get on the road and I have to slam on my breaks and the spare tire comes flying up from the back seat and wallops me. I fucking run so good. Bastards.

Helllooo? Is this thing on?

I think the doom of this blog is going to correspond with me having a good attitude about poker. I have been playing casually lately and enjoying the times I have played.. the bankroll goes up or down a little but I can not be bothered to check it out. I really have the perfect mental attitude for poker right now.

Which conversely means that the blog is probably pretty boring. No comments. I see you still peeking in with my stat counters and feed burners and crap like that I use to keep tabs on you.. but I know you want a full on raging rant and I just do not have one for you sorry.

I have been reading a bunch of the discussion on tight play on Blinders and Gnomes sites and I think tight is good for cash but sucks balls for MTT play. The madness and aggression and somewhat LAG style of play is what pays off in these things. You obviously have to be smart about it.. pushing your stack into someone who can not fold second pair is not going to get you far if your bluffing.. but sitting back waiting for Aces is only going to get you double your buyin if your lucky.. we all really want that top three spot. Nothing else matters. I keep mulling over what kinds of adjustments to make and have not come to a final conclusion but straight tight poker is meant for cash games where you have forever to make a hand.. MTT play is RIGHTFULLY meant for a little donking it up or in better terms a little gambling in the right spots.

Since everyone else is doing it I will make some comments on Michael Vick. I HIGHLY DOUBT he gets one second in jail. I am even willing to make prop bets here. I see him getting community service, making some ad's about how bad it is to kill animals but I really do not see him serving any time. Our country is based on rich people doing whatever they want. Agree? Disagree? I do think the Falcons dump him and some other team picks him up. I also would not be surprised to see the NFL suspend him for a year.

I am going to try and play an event tonight but I *may* have to work. We will see.. Working is so much more +EV than poker at least for me.. Peace.

Plans for the Week

Did I mention I got some kitties? No? Hmmm... I am not being a good blogger. I used to ruin your workplace productivity at an alarming rate.. I promise to try harder. Our kitties are 4mo and 4yr pair of females. The kids love them and are at the same time sometimes scared of them. They have sharp claws. They never scratch on purpose but sometimes accidents do happen..

I had this conversation with my wife this weekend.

Me: I am thinking of entering a bacon contest.
Her: A Bacon contest?
Me: Ya, I can win free bacon of the month for a year.
Her: Why would you want to win bacon?
Me: It's bacon!
Her: Who is the bacon from?
Me: It is bacon.. who cares..
Her: It is probably from some people who make cat food.
Me: So? It is BACON!!!!

She still does not get it.. I think women really are from Uranus.. oh wait, Venus right.. ya, thats it.. I need more sleep.. when I start fantasizing about kissing the neck of the chick in front of me I am wayy too tired..

It leads to other weird ass trains of though like for instances where do all these porno chicks come from? I mean you can log on to the internet every night and surf for ten hours and never see the same chick again.. What percentage of Americans have done a porno? Does anyone have that statistic? I mean does that show that someone I know has done a porno but I do not know about it? Kat? Jewels? IG? Carmen? LJ? YoYo? Is there something you want to tell me? I mean I could not imagine any of these fine ladies doing something like that.. is it all young California wanna be stars? Where do all these women come from?? Why did I never meet them when I was single.. Ok now that I have probably pissed off every female I even remotely know.. See lack of sleep is dangerous..

The plans for the week. I am going to hit up the Hoy tonight. I have been owning that bitch this year especially if you factor in that I hardly ever play it. I think I should keep playing the things I am doing well in. So following that line of thought I am BOYCOTTING the Mookie this week. Fuck that bitch. I am going to play something else during the time the Mookie is running. Hopefully this will make her jealous and I will win next week.

Dentists Suck

Man I hate the dentist. When I was a child the dentist would pick me up, slam me against a wall, and yell at me. The dentist then wonders why I have not been for like five years. Bah. So the checkup was not all bad.. I need a little work and some cavities filled.. but could be worse. He also wants to yank my remaining wisdom teeth. That should be fun.

A big shout out to Dr. Pauly.. It is his fourth year of blogging with the big dogs. Go read his post and see how this whole blogger thing really started. Everytime I meet up with the guy (which is never often enough) I am always impressed. Not necessarily by anything he does or his snazzy dressing style but just by the aura of who is he inside. You can really feel it. Ok I better stop before I start making out with him or something.

If you want a good laugh check out my WoW blog. I am not sure how many of you have talked to me on IM while I was playing an MTT but it is a unique experience. I get a little excited and the words just fly at 100,000,000 keys a second.. I can not remember if anyone has told me to shut the fuck up but it is probably a good bet.. What can I say I am excitable.. So last night I am doing the same thing in my guild chat and get some shit from people and decide to quit. I was thinking about it before because I think a guild should provide direction to new players.. but last night I just decided to sever the ties. You know its a sad day when nerds yell at you. Bah!

Cross Shilling

Normally I do not try to make people read my other blogs.. but this week they are too funny to miss. Please go to my fatty blog for some NSFW fatties that were posted from another blog. Be warned you may get ill. Also at the WoW blog I detail some juicy gossip.. oh, now I know I have some of you ladies interested.. heh. There is Sex, banishment, and a whole lot of hilarity. Go read it.

Fluxer you Tard

Just a general rambling post coming your way.. I easily amuse myself. This morning I was waiting for the Greenline and I started playing with the Charlie Card machine. This is a device that allows us to purchase tickets for a ride in to town. Much better than the cash system they used to have. I mean who ever has exactly 2.50 in change for a train ride? So I clicked on the deaf-chinese option and was amused by the oriental voice talking to me. I told you I am easy.

On to Suxor. Now normally when people say "Fluxer Sucks".. I totally disagree with them and stick up for the guy. HOWEVER last night was a fucking joke as he single handedly took me out of the MTT with two of the most brilliant plays I have ever seen.

I started the Mookie off so well.. stacking Columbo early when he could not get away from his Pocket Aces. I had called a small raise pre-flop and my jacks hit a set. We had a bet, he re-raised, and I jammed in for all of my chips. I know Columbo knew he was beat but he called anyway. I have the effect on people.

Fluxer's first brilliant move comes as he calls off over half his stack with a gutshot draw and hits the damn thing on the turn. No odds. Nothing. Gets unbelievably lucky against my set. No I did not slow play it. Now I am a firm believer in floating but calling off a third of your chips on a gutshot in an MTT is not the same thing. Moron.

So I sort of want to end the night here and make a bad play on purpose with bottom pair.. did not think I was up against a set of my bottom pair.. yes, a one out flop, but anyhow.. I get a bunch of chips back when I call two jams with 55.. presto is gold baby! I figured I was behind but I was not really feeling it. So after winning that hand against Surf's Queens and Fluxer's AK I had some chips and was ready to play again.

The final indignity came when Fluxer totally made a move he had to have KNOWN would not work against me. I have played with him so often that I know his style. So when an EP guy limps and I re-raise.. Fluxer goes over the top and jams his entire stack in. I call with my pocket queens. He turns over his KJo and is all set to lose over half his stack when he hits his 3-outer. Possibly a two outer since the ep guy probably had something also.

Now this little Fluxer squeeze play may work on the weak tards he normally plays or something but I knew he was full of shit and made the right call. Oh well down ten bucks for the night.. Actually up forty since today was payday.. chaching.

I also played the 28K and just never got into it. Very early on I made a really bad call when yet another tard made a stupid move. I raise pre-flop with QQ.. and get one caller. The flop come J9x and the guy leads out for a smallish bet. I instantly put him on a 9x.. So I re-raise for 1/3 his stack basically pot sized bet. He cold calls. When the 9 hits the turn I know I am beat but I refuse to let it go. Big leak there. So he turns over Q9.. hey I was right.. and that cripples me.. I made a nice comeback with ducks and jacks to even stack again and then pissed it away in a SB vs BB pissing contest when my opponent could not let go of ATo and called off his entire stack with it. Oh well. All in all I think I played the 28K pretty badly. So whatever.

I think the worse you are as a player the better chance you have to win an MTT in some ways. The good players accumulate chips too slowly usually and then some donkey sucks out on them and it is over. The donkey player accumulates chips in a large burst and it take 3-4 bad loses for him to get taken out.

Anyway still enjoying poker at a slower pace. I have a good sized starting bankroll and I am playing mostly 8.80 tokens to either 24+2's or 75's and blogger events. Mentally I am in a good state for poker.

CoxLover gets soooo lucky..

Some people are so lucky... but the Katitude donkeyment is for fun and I had a good time. I was down to about 1K in chips at one point and Numbono was wising off because he thought he had a bunch of chips with his 10K stack.. well I do not see his ass in the final three and that is because he donked them all off.. You can take the asshole out of the donkey but you can't take the donkey out of the asshole..

Peace. I may Hoy it up tomorrow night.

I Thought I Was Running Well Today

It was all going great.. I had no money this morning.. but when we trade the big bosses bring in lunch for free.. and with the market going nuts we got some free lunch! Woo hoo! Then my favorite lady stabs me in the back. Carmen how could you do this to me? I really despise my middle name... but... since I was tagged and believe in full disclosure here goes.. (man you owe me a lap dance or something baby).. Francois. Oh god and I just looked up what it means from that name meaning book thingy:

Definition: Literally meaning "Frenchman" or "one from France," Francois derives from the Old French "Franceis" and Late Latin name "Franciscus" meaning Frenchman. The French form of the surname FRANCIS.

Just fucking shoot me now.

Anyways...

F Fuck. I thought you guys knew not to try and learn new things about me. You never, ever, are the same afterwards. I may have mentioned this before but the first chick I fucked was REALLY REALLY FAT and on the RAG. She was horrible. Big letdown. I am so fucking glad I was drunk out of my skull BUT not drunk enough to stay the night. Do not get my wrong. I like fat girls but she was just a pig in every sense of the word. If she had a personality I would probably never even have noticed she was fucking fat. Fat bitch. I still hate you.

R Retarded. School is fucking retarded. I will give you an example of the lie that modern education is. I dropped out of school in 11th grade. I got a GED. I now make more money than 90% of the people I know. I do the same job as a ton of people making 50-70K less than me. Being self motivated and pushing to get what you deserve is much better than having a piece of paper.

Although I will say I might go back someday if I ever have the time. Probably just to get stoned and fuck college aged girls. I think if you enjoy education (which I do just not in a school environment) then it is cool. Just do not think once you graduate your done. My wife has an Ivy League degree from one of the sister schools.. I do not even know how many sisters there are. I make far more than her.

A Asshole. I think I was on the road to being a total asshole as a kid. I used to be relatively popular and I picked on this one kid mercilessly. We then moved and the shoe was on the other foot. karma is a bitch. I think it was all for the best though because now I have a better perspective on life and am not a huge asshole I just play one on the internet.

N Never. I have never done any serious drugs. It is amazingly funny to me that all growing up everyone around me though I was a total druggy. I think it was because I have issues with sleep and always had that rundown, slow, bags under your eyes kind of super stoner look. I did try a pot and hash a few times. Can probably count them on my fingers. I may try one of those stupid percosets my dentist gave me. Just to see what they are like. Although I have an addictive personality towards games I have never had any medical addictive tendencies.

As a kid as a mater of fact I thought if you took acid you would be sitting in a meeting like 10 years later and all of the sudden flip out and trip and do crazy shit.

C Coke. No not cocaine. Coca Cola. I am an addict. I drink so much of the shit it is not even funny. I never drink water. Ever. I drink so much Coke that sometimes I get acid buildup in my toe and it causes gout.

O Ok. I have a fucking long middle name. I have already told you about my orgasms so hmmm.. how about Origin. I was born premature. I was a few months early. I was put in an incubator and I swear to this day that is why I relate to computers better than most humans. My mommy was a machine. Long live the machines!

I I am really gonna kill you Carmen. Inception. I always thought my parents were married BECAUSE they had me. They just so did not fit together and the dates are so close.. so as an adult I have endless hours of fun telling my mom that she was a slut and got preggers before she was married. Ahhh life's little joys.

If you can not tell I have never really gotten along well with my parents. My dad died a few years back and while I find that I actually do miss him sometimes I can really relate to how Special-K says he feels like he should feel something more. It is not because I was abused or anything.. possibly neglected somewhat.. but it is what it is.. I do not have any hard feelings towards them but I also do not feel especially close.

S Skydiving. Figure I will cop out on the last one. I have been skydiving and I do not think it is scary. It was boring to be frank. I thought it would be a thrill ride but it is too surreal to create roller coaster type thrills. Oh well.

Anyway.. go blame Carmen for this and tell her to NEVER meme me again.

Katitude Baby

The biggest donk fest in the entire world is tonight: Katitudes Donk-o-rama. The password is donkarama. Go to her site for details. I will probably hit this one up. I actually missed the Riverchasers event last night. Got a little busy with some PvP action in WoW.

Elaine Vigneault responded to my post kinda poking fun at Veganism.. but I hope she understands I respect everyones beliefs and love poking people a little. Do you remember what I asked in my post?

I was just thinking would Elaine fuck me if I gave up meat for a year.. lol.

Well she left the following cryptic reply in my comment section.

You might be interested in:
link to Vegan experiment

Regards,
Elaine

Regards.. see now thats a classy lady. So I was wondering does that mean she was answering my proposition? I mean this could be a whole new marketing campaign for the Vegans: Save a Cow, Fuck a Fat Guy! Hmmm... I am going to cross post the link on my fatty blog too just because she is such a good sport.

I have way too much free time on my hands.

Want another interesting thing that happened today.. on the train ride there is this guy with a cell phone. Now keep in mind we are on the subway and are underground and surrounded by a hundred feet of concrete on every side. The guy is looking at his phone and talking to his friend and wondering why there is no response.. he is like "hello? hello?".. Retard.

While I am screwing around at Kat's I will also be playing some tokens or satellites. LJ had a VERY VERY nice score in the 32K or something like that this week. I am inspired to take some more shots myself this weekend.

Jordon is a Cock Rag

I bet you think this is a Jordon rant.. nahh.. Although I technically think raising KQo in EP is a stupid play he had the chips to be stupid.. He obviously had to call when I jammed my A6o against him. Why would I jam A6o against an EP raiser? Cause I knew he was full of shit. I could sense the weakness radiating from his hand.. haha. I felt I was head and needed chips and that is what you do in an MTT. With a 20K stack vs my 4K stack I think my range of hands for a shove allows Jordon to make that call.. and the flop of AQQ.. well that is just poker people. Congrats on the cash Jordon.. your running hot keep it up.

I have really changed my mentality in MTTs and have a few new idea's like if you let yourself get short stacked and someone calls you with any two cards then you fucked yourself. It does not matter what those two cards are.

I also believe that every MTT is about sucking out and if you get that big suckout then you have a chance to go far.. like when I called Ick's re-jam of JammyHawk (Thundercats ho?) with AK and killed his KK.. Of course everyone knows there are 24 Aces in the deck so it was the right call.

My real demise in the game was a concept that I am not sure about but I am getting more convinced of. You look down at your hand. The blinds are 200/400 or something like that.. You have a semi-healthy 8K stack and see something like 66/88 one of the baby pairs. Someone raises. The obvious move here is what? Call? Fold? Jam? What?!?!?! I normally call and hope for the miracle set.. and if this happens I make a nice score and go deeper.. but if I miss like I will for the most part I am down about 1/8th my stack.. I had two suck incidents last night where I called and it chipped me down from 8K to 5K and with the blinds I end up with 4K and trying to race with Jordon. These small pairs are tough to play to me and I am leaning towards just letting them go unless I can limp or I am short stacked in which case I would jam and go for the race. Comments?

Fuck You Mookie

I dunno what is up with the title.. lol. The Mookie used to be my favorite game when I owned it and cashed like every other day but this year has been dry for me. While I have multiple first and second place finishes in the Hoy and Riverchasers the Mook is just being a fucking bitch. I mean I hardly ever play the Hoy and I have a couple of firsts.. Where is the love Mookie? I am most probably going to hit this thing again tonight..

Speaking of nothing at all.. I was reading on someones blog that some game called "Get a life" or "Second life" or something like that has been asked to shut down gambling by the government. Now give me a fucking break. You are the worst fucking president ever and all you can spend your time on is going after virtual gambling halls in fake worlds where people do not exist to appease your right wing religious mafioso's??!?!?!?! I mean I do not even play that game and have no idea what a genital upgrade entails and really it does not sound good to me but fuck man that is some fucked up shit going on that never should happen in the land of supposed liberty. George you fucking suck.

Bad beats.. you want a bad beat!! I got one for you.. I was sitting in WarCraft and playing some poker at the tavern and I look down and I have KK on an AKK board. So I shove all 8 gold pieces in.. and the Warlock calls.. then I smell this sulphurous smell and the Warlock is moving his hands around and fuck the next card off the deck is an ace and he scoops a huge pot.. Ok, just kidding, they do not have poker in War Craft.. although there was a chick in undies and a bra pole dancing on top of my mailbox last night. I am going to have to get some pictures so the more lonely of you will start reading my Warcraft blog.

Speaking of wacky sex and crazy bitches I was reading Elaine Vigneault. Normally I think she is kind of a crazy bitch but not too bad.. usually I like her posts.. and this is no exception.. but is Vegansexualism fucking for real? I mean every man comes with meat baby... you will have to go muff diving to avoid that.. I can not see not fucking someone because they ate a hamburger.. but I am not really into not eating meat so my brain probably has not been damaged enough to go that far.. hmm.. I was just thinking would Elaine fuck me if I gave up meat for a year.. lol. I have too much time on my hands. Think of all the cows and chickens you would save and all it would cost is five minutes of hot sweaty sex.. I hope she does not read my blog. lol.

Actually for the most part I am all for doing your own thing but when it interferes with the potential pool of sexually eligible women I have to draw the line. Since I am sort of picking on her today she also wrote something about McDonalds and while I agree with some of her points I think FUCKING COFFEE IS SUPPOSED TO BE HOT YOU WACKJOBS! If some idiot puts it in their lap then that is Darwinism at its best trying to stop the reproductive ability of morons to clean up the gene pool. People need to take responsibility for their own stupidity but I guess if they did they would not be stupid. A vicious cycle my friends.

Shizz Nizzle Funny or something..

LMAO thanks Kaj!! I may write up something later about this little French pop tart I saw on the train.. I also am pretty sure I will be playing the FTOP #1 super satellite at 7:40ish tonight.

Around the Poker Blogger World

I would write about my own poker play but when you final table a small 90-peep SNG only to get knocked out in 6th with 16,000 outs twice over and a guy calling you with 44 on a J23 board.. well.. poker is annoying. We had equal stacks and I had raised pre-flop. I had a flush, and two overs for draws.

I read Don's post about MTT play being losing play and his (I think he pulled this out of his ass) 95% of MTT players being losers. I am not sure if I agree with his assessment entirely but read the facts people: 95% OF ALL YOU FUCKERS OUT THERE ARE LOSING PLAYERS!!!!! Cash, MTTs, fuck you might as well try blackjack.. most people lose playing poker. It is a fact. I am entirely proud of my break even status as I can claim to not win or lose. I am mediocre to the core. Woo hoo! Actually honestly when I have my first 80K year I will be happy with my start at being a winning poker player. I read one blogger who summed it up nicely: MTTs are a nice cheap way to spend a bunch of enjoyable hours playing poker.

I was also reading Bill Rini posting about Phil Laak and while he takes a measured approach to the whole thing I think if Phil is innocent posts like this just serve to stoke the gossipy idiotic trial by public system we have going in America. I fully support Bill's right to post his thoughts and "research", and he does a nice job of tieing together a bunch of circumstantial items. I have no idea if Phil did this or not but this kind of speculation seems wrong to me. What do you think?

Anyhow.. Bill is not Fox News.. although I am sure they would do the same thing.. so keep on blogging. I may stop by the Hoy tonight depending on how the work schedule looks. Peace.

Simple Poker 101

Here is a situation where loud mouth says I played a hand wrong. He always seems to have some good comments about my play while he is pushing his A3's into A9's or sucking out pushing his pocket tens into kings. If your gonna play one hand a tourney though I do not think A3 should be the one. Good suckout. I hate doing this by the way because while most of you never listen to a word I say about poker if even one of you gets better thats less money for me to be a break even player with. So please argue and call me a donk and NEVER use this move.

I am up against BuddyDonk co-host of the BuddyDonk WGHEY radio station. I probably had him covered 2:1-3:1 something around that. Anyway.. he opens up and raises and I look down and see a 79 s0000ted. We had a limper so I call in position. The flop comes Q7x two spades. Buddy bets out.

Now here I am with second pair and there is a flush draw on the board. Buddy potted the bet and I felt he was strong based on his play up to this point. Let us say I put him on KQo. So he does not have a flush draw. Here is the deal. I call his bet knowing full well that he is almost certainly ahead.

The turn is a spade. The flush has cometh. I have meekly called his flop bet and now with the flush Buddy is scared. I can see him shaking in his boots. Fuck. What would Waffles call me with.. he must be on the fucking flush draw.. why can I never win? $&*^$*&#.

Meanwhile I am laughing my ass off as he obviously checks scared of that big bad ole flush and so I lead out with a bet that looks like I really want him to call me. He lets all his time run out and finally makes a call. He says later "I knew I was fucking ahead". Here is some advice.. if you know you are fucking ahead bet the board!!!! Seriously that is the biggest mistake most players make.

Anyway.. the river gives me trip sevens.. and I am now ahead. Depending on the player I would consider betting the river hard to take the hand down. Buddy had second pair here and I think he would have folded to a jam on the river even if I did not hit my hand.. Instead I value bet my trips and scoop in a great pot against JJ. It has the added effect of inexperienced players believing I am a total donkey.. and a few hands later Buddy calls me all the way to the river with nothing and loses another pot.

This kind of play as long as you do not get carried away with it is a very common and essential tool that MANY MANY players use. Unlike Smokkee contending it was a donkey move it was actually a very well thought out play. Sometimes you can not explain things to level one thinkers though. Better luck next time.

Bitches

I went out with the exact same hand last night as I did in the first freeroll. At least this time I was out in sixth place instead of being the first tard out in 56th. The hand I played to get busted I am ok with. Only because I know that no matter what path I took besides folding pre-flop I was likely to get stacked. I could have jammed. Numbono would have called for sure. I possibly could have folded Queens on the J57 flop.. six sided.. against a guy who called my all in jam for 1/2 his stack about 30 hands earlier.. with KJo.. on a KQx flop.. with like four people in the pot... ummm no I think I would rather call.. Anyway.. his set of jacks were better than my queens and that was all she wrote. I actually lost the majority of my money with JJ vs TT against Goat, JJ vs KK against Jordon with a pre-flop push (5K to call, I had 17K, he was jamming a bunch).. and the final hand QQ vs JJ.. oh well.. I am not going to complain about a free 160 bucks in a re-roll. The win also makes me only down forty bucks for the entire BPT so I have to be in the 92 percentile at least.

Not sure whats next on the schedule.. feeling like playing a 50/50 tonight.. I also have a bunch of work to do for a project that is due Wednesday and there is always my level 22 hunter..

I Fart therfore I Smell

If you fart are you going to be creating a Waffles Fart blog?
-- Duggles

Ha! That reminds me I wanted to tell you all about a fart I had a few days ago.. I kept meaning to bring it up. I have no idea why I think you would be interested in my bodily functions but I have no idea why you read anyway so I am going with it.. It is actually anti-climatic.. I was in the subway and before I knew it I let out this long studerring fart near this cute chick. I guess I was amazed because I tend to only fart out loud when I want to.. maybe I am getting old..

But anyway.. I probably will not start a fart blog. I started the fatty one because I did not think poker readers would want to read about that.. same as with the WoW blog.. and I expect to write a bunch about the two..

Since Duggles started this whole thread.. I just had the most disgusting diarrhea EVER.. I hate to crap at work. I have no idea why but crapping in public places pisses me off.. but I had two quesadeas for lunch and they did not sit well. So I go in and was pleasantly surprised that the toilet was modestly clean. I wiped the seat. I am not sure this would do anything besides spreading any aids around the seat anyways but it makes me feel better. So I am sitting there and my ass is exploding, farts everywhere, crap coming down like drizzles.. and my co-workers walk in and they start talking to each other.

Now first off this is a big break in the toilet etiquette.. but what kind of idiot motherfucker has a conversation in the bathroom with what was coming out of my ass smelling up the joint? I mean jesus. I thought computer nerds has no social skills, math nerds are like 100x worse.. at least we do not talk to people in the bathroom.. well we do not talk to people.. but that is hardly the point..

I looked down at my work afterwards and it was this weird colored shit pancake covering like 75% of the surface water. It looked like that monster in that Stephen King Movie: Creepshow 2. You know the one.. with the four kids stuck on a raft while this floating blob eats them. One kid finally swims to shore and thinks he is safe but it jumps out of the water and pulls him back in.. well I swear that is where he got the idea. My crap looked exactly like that and if I touched it I bet it would be corrosive like the monster.

Anyway thank Duggles for this. At least I am not as crazy as Daddy. See you tonight at the Freeroll.

Created my WoW Blog

Man am I getting Ghey. I think it gets worse as you have more blogs. So my new Wow Blog is: http://wow-waffle-house-guild.blogspot.com/. That way I can keep all the WoW content separate from poker.

Tonights the Night

Last night at the Mookie I could not get anything going.. I was up and down all over. I think I made some good laydowns but with AK/AK/AA/KK/QQ/88/88/77 in my first few dozen hands I found myself down to 1/3 stack.. Finally ScottMc check-raises me with TP two kicker.. I had lead out for pot (500) which was half my stack.. I had to call.. and no suckout this time. He said he thought I had T9.. so we both laughed at the fact he knew I had to call and he also thought he was beaten. Extremely un-Scott like.. lol. Good game man.

Tonight is the Freeroll or as I like to call it the ReRoll. BWAHAHAHA! Crazy shit man. I look forward to it. If I win I think I will take some of the money and donate it to something fun.. maybe put it towards huggling a n000b in the ancient arts of poker like CC did... I dunno..

I really need to start a Warcraft blog now too.. I played last night and did my first two duals.. it was pretty funny.. I lost both.. but came close to killing a hunter that was my same level. Obviously no chance against a rogue that was 17 levels above me... from that the Hunter looks at my spec and says "You got crap".. and I am like, um... ya? Also this other dude laughed at me since I did not have shoulder armor.. well I never found a place to buy any dammit. So I joined this hunter guys guild for a while. At least until guild "The Waffle House" starts up.. He gave me all upgrades for my armor and told me to try out the auction houses for the best stuff. See what you never figure out on your own. Jeez. I got a 150 point defense boost and that is before I whip out my leather patch kit and give it another 16+ defense on 3-4 of my items..

I got my ass kicked in the first dungeon I tried.. all the Elite mothers came at me and fucked me up good. Oh well. Next time.