Ah Well

End of my day kind of sucked. A guy at work who I respect and like a lot is being an asshole. I think I am thinking a lot clearer these days because I do not need people with negative attitudes in my life. I am done. We have lunch together every day. He is an egotistical asshole. However normally it never bothers me. I have had enough though. Today I come down and help him and because he is mad he dismisses me like a dog. Like.. Ok. Cya. Bye. Fuck that shit.

If I need negativity in my life I can provide much better from myself.

I came home and did gundham style with my daughter... If this video shows up on YouTube I am going to be very upset with the wife. More so than usual. It was fun dancing beside my daughter. It was also a good workout. I was sweating and breathing hard. I did my 75 jumping jacks, 3 planks, and 27 pushups afterwards too. We will see how it goes. I also had a small dinner with rice, chicken, couple peperoni, and some cheese. Pretty tasty.

I am going to cook dinner for our ex-Chilean Nanny who is visiting us. I need to get together the recipe. I am thinking rice with some peas, small tomatoes and broccoli steamed, and then some meat like fish. Need to put it together for Saturday.

Also learning Russian is coming along.. slowly.. I am pretty slow with spoken languages. I think it is because I am deaf in one ear. Enunciation is very hard for me.

Back In The Saddle

Sorry I have been incognito lately. I had a really bad January and February. My depressions medicine was not working and I had no desire to do anything at all. I lost focus and discipline. Kind of wallowed in the murk for the entire time.

I am however coming out of it now. I have doubled my depression medicine and finally started back to doing things that actually help me. Got a new list of goals, and things I want to do. Checking off one thing a day.

So far the big ones are exercise. Been doing cardio 3x a week for 20mins at least.. and throwing in some work on off days. For instance this week I have gone up 26 flights of stairs Monday and Tuesday. Last week I did a 20 minute inside jog, on Wednesday I did 75 jumping jacks, and Friday I ran in place again. Also threw in an extra walk on Tuesday.

Also started up my pushup program. Up to 27 pushups in week 1. I do 5 sets so it's not too hard. Doing 4,5,4,4, and 10 as my last set. Tomorrow will bump up significantly as the 100 pushup program elevates a bit quickly. I am not too worried about failing a week or two here.. in the end it works out.

Started taking vitamins also to try and improve my health.

Have a lot of other things on my list. Up to 30 items right now. Try to keep the items smallish. Like getting divorced is way too much. Need to break it down into steps and accomplish each of the steps till the end. Works the best for me.

I will check in and out as I feel it. I am not giving up on the blog, just have a lot going on and have not felt the need to share lately. 

Hooooohhhhboyyyy

Wow. The posts I could write today.

I went to my shrink again. This time the one who doles out the medicine. I actually see two separate ones. The druggy and the talker. The druggy and I decided that my medication level was too low. We started at 10mg and gave it like a month or two. So she bumped it up to 20mg.

I have no idea if it is the drugs or what but I am flying high today. The best I can explain it is almost like being drunk. I have to watch everything I say because the flood gates are down and my mouth is in full drive. I almost feel like I have too much energy. My body keeps trying to leech it off a little by moving around and stuff. Is that like the shakes from a meth addict or something? Who the fuck knows.

Normally I think medicine has no effect on me but I am feeling it today. Will keep you all posted. I have actually been playing some poker. Home games with a friend from work. It has been fun. It is more a social thing as we put up 5 bucks and have 5-7 people.. and play an SNG with either 8 or 10 minute blinds. I have done very well breaking even both times I played. Josie would love this game.

I really like my talker shrink. She is kind of weird but she is kind of cool. I feel like she knows things that I do not know. Some secrets of being human. The other day she explained to me that modern psychology is not about delving into your past and bringing up all your bad experiences so much. It is more about learning good methods of dealing with the problems that your hangups are causing you today. Working on coping mechanisms and getting things on track so that your life will improve. It was kind of interesting. Latah!

Sorry

Sorry no posts. I am in a deep rut right now. Will update more once I have something to say.