New Girlfriend

I have a new Girlfriend named Mary from the comments. I actually think it is someone from Florida. Probably someone with a dick. IP tracking is nice.

Mah troll bitch is pretty funny so please be amused. Most of her points are retarded. The one thing I have been thinking about is what is the right thing to do. I am not sure that our situation is the right thing or the best thing for the kids. We do not fight at all. The kids get to see us both. We agreed to see other people. So there is no sneaking or cheating involved. We consider ourselves divorced and just waiting for the paperwork. I do not want to force them to move and lose their friends and live in some crappy apartment instead of a nice house in a good town. So I think for now I am doing what is right and what is best for them. All I can do is what I feel is best for them.

In her response to me calling her a cunt Mary said "She'll leave, or send you packing, the second it is convenient for her financially.". You know what though. I am fine with that. I can take care of myself financially and if being miserable for a little longer improves her financial situation so that my kids benefit then I am willing to do that. I guess we will never agree Troll because your all about yourself and what you can get out of the situation and I just can not put my kids through any unnecessary hardships just to spite my wife or to make myself happier quicker.

Bayne asked what the difference between telling Nick to dump his wife and my situation is. Only difference is he has no kids. If I did not have my children I would be gone already. It is two really small differences but they mean the world to me.

WOWWOwowowoWOWOWoWOWOWoooWOWOW

OMFG!

RUSH POKER!

I R DRUNKZ NOW!

FROM POKERING!

You can quote me if you want Al "Rush Poker Makes Waffles Drunk".

Notes on my first session.

I doubled up and left. Ratholer fucker.

Mostly because I was drunk from power and winning and that felt goooooood.

I read a bunch of strategy. I know I said Rush Poker is not Poker. I think in a few ways it makes you play poker the way you SHOULD.

Examples.

I always raised in position. In a real game where people get reads on you this is not optimal but I hardly ever raise even my good hands so this is good for me.

I ALWAYS c-bet. Not pot sized. Just 1/2-3/4. In a real game you can be taken advantage of if you ALWAYS c-bet. Again. I do not c-bet enough so this is probably good practice for me.

Initially most of my profit came from stealing from tighties. I generally took the approach that I would raise anywhere from 3 off the button and better IF I was first in and SOMETIMES if someone limped in EP. I won a TON of uncontested pots. I also took BIGGER pots with c-bets which almost always worked.

If someone played back at me on the flop or preflop I would normally just let it go and move to the next hand. I had a few exceptions here where I floated people. Sometimes it worked great and I took decent pots on the turn. Other times I shook my head and said "Why didn't you just fold".

My biggest losing hand was QQ vs A3 when I 3-bet him pre-flop and he called. Flop comes 33K. I lead. I bet the turn three. I thought about betting the river but I thought the value was too thin so I checked behind to his turned quads. Bet those fucking quads you moron.

That hand took me from +1/2 buy to -1/2 buy. Well. A couple tilt hands after that hand where I was steaming a little took a bit of that too. This is one disadvantage of RUSHHHH poker. If you start steaming you can go down fast.

So I regained control. Started playing hard again. I finally trippled up my 1/2 buyin with 78 vs 2 flopped sets with a turned GUTTER that hit. It was a little scary but Top set vs Bottom set vs my made nut straight on the turn is pretty good odds. This hand brought me back to my buyin. It also got me drunk. High on power and the ruuuusshhhhh.

I stole some more.

I stacked a shortie with AA vs QQ on a KJ flop. He bet the flop and I raised him hoping the large stack would fold. If the large stack jammed I figured KK or KJ beat me since it was 3 bet pre and all three of us were in the hand. My hand held. I had doubled my buyin in 1 hour. No idea how many hands but at least 200. Wheee.

Almost Forgot

Imma let you finish Pokerstars but WTF??!?! Listen I love you guys. You have an awesome site. Do any of you have real fucking jobs though? Seriously who thought 5:00 during a workday was a good time for a tourney? Is that just to give like Euros a chance at this or something? Cause I do not like Euros. So if your like helping them out then fuck you. Ok. Ok. I like some Euros. Like that Borat fellah seems kinda cool. At least I can play the weekend tourney.

Man Up

Michele and Nick are texting behind his wife's back. I guess that is a good sign. However all I can really say is "MAN THE FUCK UP". Grow some balls dude. He feels guilty because his wife is suicidal and he blames himself. Now let's forget the fact that SHE IS SUICIDAL BECAUSE THE DUDE SHE WAS FUCKING BEHIND HIS BACK DUMPED HER!!!!!?!?!?!? Fucking stupid cunt.

Here is my take on this. Her being suicidal is a PLUS. If you can push her that extra inch then you get the HOUSE no strings attached AND no alimony. I think you can live with a little blood on your hands for that. MAN UP! If you need some helpful tips to lead her towards the pill bottle I am more than happy to help.

If you are going to say you are not speaking to Michele then DO NOT SPEAK TO HER. It is dumb pussy kid shit to text behind your wife's back. You do realize she can get your phone records and find out. Just tell that bitch that you will date whoever the fuck you want. MAN UP! Stop this pussy shit. Finish the divorce and let the crazy woman go on her way. period. End of story.

In order to shame you into being a man I will tell you a little story. Once upon a time I was dating Michele. It was new and fresh and we were in love. Michele had been dating a freaky dude since before high school. She did not want to date him anymore. He was a good friend of the family and they assumed that she would marry him. One day I was at the house. Her parents asked me to take a ride with this guy in his truck. To discuss Michele I guess. In hind site I am too nice and trusting.

Scary dude and I were driving in his pickup truck and he pulls out a Magnum pistol. Loaded. He keeps talking about how he loves Michele and all this shit. I really do not remember much of the rest of what he said. It was obvious that he was trying to scare me away. Did I say "Hey Michele and I will not be talking anymore" then text her behind his back? FUCK NO! I kept pounding that hot pink pussy and fuck what he thinks. If he was going to shoot me with his gun then I would take it like a man. At least I would enjoy that pussy while I could. That is how a MAN does it Nick. He does not worry about other people. He just stands up for his woman and ignores all obstacles in his way.

In conclusion - MAN UP!

See What I Mean?

Holy fuck! See what I mean. Obama the fucktard is like "Well if I have to choose then I would pick New Orleans because of what those poor people have been through". Fuck you idiot. President of my asshole. What a dickhead. It is not like I am not compassionate but give me a fucking break. You know you just said that because it is the thing to say. Go support your criminal friends and stop messing with Football picks jackass.

Screw You

Ironically the Vikings loss gives me a change to go break even for the playoffs. If I win my Super Bowl pick I will be dead break even. I am kind of saddened by the Vikings loss as they were the only team left I had an emotional investment in. Besides hate. JETS JETS JETS SUCK! I was pulling for the Purple People but it was not to be. It was almost comical how many times they gave up the ball. The fact they even had a chance to win was amazing. Farve screwed up at the end and lost a 30-50% chance at closing the game out before overtime. It sucks to be him but that was not the big game ending play.

Bayne says "Yay Saints your town suffered so much you deserve to win feel good life is great rah rah rah". Fuck that stupid shit asshole. First off that crap happened like years ago. Fucking wipe your boo hoo tears already. It's bad enough that half the city is corrupt and the other half is on perma-fare. Bunch of crack heads, rapists, and murders. Screw New Orleans. Fuck all these pansy ass pussies that want some fucking feel good story. Should we hope that Miami wins next year because of the 1919 Key West Hurricane. How about Carolina Panthers the year after for Hurricane AndrewHugo. Fuck while were at it lets just give the 49ers a fucking trophy for the 1906 earthquake. Screw the Saints. Screw New Orleans. Screw you.

My picks for the Super Bowl. I am going to ponder for a bit. I need this win to break even so I have to give it some effort.

P.S. Learn to fucking spell Hoyazo - "Favre actually threw too hideous picks"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Fucking cooler powers. Nick and Michele are on hiatus until after his divorce is finalized. Do I need to call him up and tell him to grow a fucking pair? Fuck me.

Days of Our Lives

Just to fill the soap opera quota. Apparently the way the Ex-Au Pair Helen found out they were dating. POCKET DIAL! Fricken iPhone. It is not enough it make zombies but now this.

While they were in the car driving around the traitorous iPhone was reporting back to the evil Helen. She has now become the evil one. Why you might ask? I was driving in to work with my wife today and she was telling me how Nicks soon to be Ex wife was playing the whole tears card. She was saying she was so distraught and how she was going to be suicidal. Now all this from a woman who cheated on the guy and would still be with that man if he did not dump her. She was the Au Pair of her Ex-Boyfriends kids also.

Now normally I could care less about the whole situation. However the Wife expressed concern that Nick might break up with her over this. I said he would not. I still believe this. I have to for my sanity. He did however cancel a planned trip to Paris for the two of them in February.

I swear I am going to go to his house and yell at HER. I am going to be like "YOUR HUSBAND BETTER KEEP SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE OR ELSE YOU FUCKING WHORE!".

Did I cooler my easy way out? I hope not.

Cliff Notes:
Michele is my Wife soon to be Ex
Helen is our Ex-Au Pair
Helen is a casual friend of Michele
Helen is Nicks Wife soon to be Ex
Nick is Michele's boyfriend
Nick and Michele are talking about moving in together which is my key to freedom
Helen's was Au Pair to her Ex Boyfriends kids and probably broke up that marriage
Helen's meal ticket AKA Ex Boyfriend broke it off with here because it was taking to long to finalize the divorce
Chances are her Ex Boyfriend just wanted the money from her settlement to pay off his house
Helen found out Michele was dating Nick and was angry because they are "Friends"
Nick canceled trip to Paris
Nick apologize to me for Helen being a maniac and threatening to come over my house but has yet to apologize for canceling his trip to Paris
I have yet to find out if Helen would consider fucking me revenge on her Husband and my Wife
I do not fuck enough people. I am way behind average for Massachusetts.

Beat that Bitch

Tonight I get home and my wife is out with her boyfriend. I get a call a few minutes later. It is my wife warning me that our old Au Pair may come to the house. Apparently my wife is dating my old Au Pairs husband. I knew she was dating someones husband. The Au Pair found out tonight and flipped out. So there was like a 40% chance that she was going to come over and smack down my wife who happened to not be here. The boyfriend came by later to apologize. Wife getting smacked down by old Au Pair.. nothing to apologize for dude.. fuck, I would pay to see that.

Alright alright I do not REALLY want to see my wife get beaten to a pulp. Course if she got shot then that would solve some problems.. hmm.. no no no that is no good. I wonder why I have bad Karma too.

I wonder if she wants some angry revenge sex?

We shall see how it all works out.

Sad

Is it sad that my dream in life is an empty apartment with no furniture where I sleep on the floor or is it sad that I can not even get that?

Rush Poker

Article from AlCantHang on Rush Poker.

My opinion. Why pretend online poker is real poker anyways? All those pesky things like reads, and figuring out your opponent.. who needs them. Hand ranges? blah. Table selection.. Only monkeys with HEMP? HEM? Faggot tracker will have any chance at a read. Use shit like table selection. Position? Fuck as long as your at the table why care about what spot they put you in.

Rush poker is an ABOMINATION of poker that can only make the game better for two people. The first is Full Tilt since they will collect a fuck load more rake. The second is the zero level thinkers because they do not play poker anyways.

Of course I have to try out the new fad though. See you there!

Oh No She Didn't!

OMFG! She said to me tonight "Do not give me any attitude or I will stop being so nice". She really does not want to play that game with me. I am so stuck for now. She said that her and the boyfriend were talking about moving in together around September but who knows. I feel so stuck. I do not want to uproot my children and make them move but I am so sick of waiting. blah.

Politics and Football

It looked like I was going to go 4-0 this weekend until the Chargers choked. I was pretty much dead on my analysis of the game though. It was the hardest to pick. It did come down to if the Chargers would lay down like bitches again or actually play. I almost feel sorry for the fans of this team. It was like Indy before Payton got that donkey off his shoulders. I guess I need to never pick the Chargers again in the playoffs until they show they can win a game that counts.

As for why my cooler powers did not doom the teams I chose.. I think they figured out too many people were doing good with them so they had to start a market correction. Once all the gamblers who lost money fading me hate me enough again they will return to normal.

Picks for next weekend: Colts and Vikings.

JJ and I had a fun political discussion. He wanted to know who I was voting for in the election today.

Waffles: My town was SOOOOO crowded this morning with the stupid election what fucking loser are you gonna pick.. the cunt bag loser or the dooche bag loser?
JJ: haha. Go Scott Brown!!! Are you gonna vote?
Waffles: No. I hate voting. I am disillusioned.
JJ: Lets put it another way if you were to vote, who would you vote for?
Waffles: Probably Scott Brown because I don't think railroading some health plan so Obama can go down in history as someone who did something is a great idea..
JJ: haha
Waffles: what am I wrong
JJ: no. I just find the logic funny
Waffles: What its totally logical. I am pure logic man.
JJ: Not funny as in bad but funny as in "it's amazing how people react to this election". Honestly, you're in good company and I think you are right it's just amazing to me.
Waffles: I am not against National Healthcare and killing old people in Obama death camps. I am all for that. I just do not like that the Democrats have all the power and no checks on this. Hell I will sign my Mom up for the first Obama Health death panel but it needs to be more partisan.
JJ: well, I guess we'll see how it turns out.
I just find this election amazing.

and on some other profound thinking..

Waffles: I often wonder why the people who change the world the most are the peaceful ones like MLK and Ghandi and I have come to the conclusion it is because everyone is like "what a fucking idiot".. but they REMEMBER those people for their dumb peacefulness and then it kinda catches on..

I also just realized I probably doomed Scott Brown.

Fight Night

Stupid Bitch Wife. WTF does she think she is doing yelling at me? Fucking retard. It was so stupid too. The boy wanted to transfer his Rogue to our Alliance server. The cost is $25 and then $25 for a Faction change so he can join the good guys. We were going to make him do chores so he could earn it. We both thought this was a good idea. The boy then came up with his own idea -- I have fucking 25 bucks, why should I do your fucking lame ass chores? So I took his money and initiated the transfer. The wife then comes down and yells at me. Saying how we agreed he does chores, blah blah blah. Fucking cunt.

First off. What are we trying to teach the boy when we make him do chores for something? We are teaching him he has to work hard and save up to get things. We are not an ATM machine. New flash. If he ALREADY worked hard and earned the money then he has done what we asked.

Secondly. What does you telling him he can not spend his money to get the transfer tell him? Your a fucking idiot kid. You do not know what to spend your money on? I think this is the LEAST of the bad messages it sends.

Third. The REALLY REALLY bad message it sends is the feminasi I am a fucking woman and you will obey me message. Fuck that shit. You do not own the boy. Screw you. I DO NOT need him learning that message. Fucking idiot. I get enough of your men are worthless messages everyday. I will not let you do that to my son.

Seriously. Think about WHY we are making him do things not your own little fucking power trip. So she comes down and starts yelling at me. Like that is gonna work. SO I told her to shut the fuck up. I called her a fucking idiot cunt and told her to get the fuck out of my face.

Stupid bitch thinks she is like still blowing me or something. No fucking way she is going to talk to me like that anymore. I really think that this is a sign from god. He is saying "Tell that fucking cunt to fuck off". WTG GOD! Seriously though I am wayyyyy too fucking nice. I think I am finally reaching my boiling point. It is one thing to want to split up nicely and get everything done and give her time to get things together but she thinks she still owns me.

That shit needs to end now. I need to get off my ass and take back control of everything. If she wants anything she can fucking beg me for it. Fucking cunt. If she wants to play that fucking game I guarantee I will win.

Evil Bayne

Bayne says I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. He keeps prodding me for picks then finally said he would just post random picks and accredit them to me. So in order to avoid any confusion here are my picks:

Arizona Cardinals +7 at the New Orleans Saints - Saints for sure. Sorry Cardinals you suck.

Indianapolis Colts +6 vs Baltimore Ravens - I think the Colts will win here. The dome will cause them to be able to play their game and kick the Ravens butts.

Dallas Cowboys +3 at Minnesota Vikings - SKOOOOOL! Go Vikings! This pick may get me killed. I have a BONUS prediction also: Adrian Peterson WILL NOT fumble in the fourth quarter blowing the game. Guaranteed!!!

San Diego Chargers -7 vs New York Jets - This by FAR is the hardest game to choose. On the one hand the Jets have been playing great. San Diego is also an really good team this year. The Chargers and Jets are BOTH fricken choke teams though. The Chargers more so than the Jets. Tough game to pick. I am going to go with...... San Diego.

After today I think.............. StB will be my only ready. It has been fun.

Help Haiti Even If you Can't Spell it

Stole the idea from Riggs to steal LJ's post on Hati? Hatti? Haiti? Fucking Foreigner debil worshipers!!! Learn to spell. I do not post this because I am a good person. I would not want you to get the wrong impression. I post because I find it HIGHLY amusing watching people "Helping" Haitians while at the same time saying "@#%^ YOU @^@&MUNCHER YOU @#$%^&* CAN'T PLAY POKER WORTH @%#%!!!!"

CR instructor Verneer is organizing donations for Haiti here and has already raised over 6k, and FTP is also doing a bunch of tournaments and fake tournaments and matching 100%. Cribbed from Brian's blog:

1. Aid For Haiti tournaments: Starting tonight and running through Sunday, there will be a number of “Aid For Haiti” tournaments at a range of buyins for players to participate in. The first one is at 2PM ET (under an hour) and it’s a $5 + $5 ($5 from every entry will be donated).

2. Aid For Haiti “no-play” tournaments: These are “fake” tournaments that won’t run. For anyone that wants to make a direct donation, they can enter one of the 10 different tournaments (all “scheduled” for Sunday at 6pm ET, 3pm PT) and not worry about playing a tournament.

3. An “Aid For Haiti” user has been set up for direct P2P transfers. Anyone can transfer any amount greater than $5 to that player ID.

All money raised will be matched by Full Tilt Poker and sent to various charities, so for every dollar you donate, an additional dollar from FTP will be directed toward helping the cause. Personally I will be making a direct donation, as well as possibly playing in some of the tournaments. I urge anyone who can help, even a little, to do so as well.

****************************************

for those who don't want to use poker monies (like me) you can donate directly through red cross here.

also, timex (mike mcdonald), one of our team CR pros, organized a 20+20 super turbo this sunday at 1:35 pm. the tourney ID is 132657628.

apparently pokerstars is matching donations. info on their blog.

lastly via riggs: You can TEXT right from your mobile phone. text “Haiti” to 90999 and your phone will be auto billed for $10 and go directly to help efforts.

Poker at Stars

Played with the first of Bayne's blood money. I decided to take two shots at the 180's on Stars. I used to own those big time. I played really well until the end. I am not sure if I got bored or tired or what. I ended up stacking off with top pair vs AA. I knew he had it too. If I kept focused I probably would never have even been in the hand.

On the good side it was with 26 people left so I think I have good equity in these games if I stick to my strategy and keep focused. Perhaps tonight with Ghost Hunters keeping me amused I can finish off strong.

Safehouse

I have moved locations and am in hiding after this weekend. Did I go 0-4 or 4-0? I think 4-0. That is about as glass half full as you will EVER see me. I have to admit it was a nice touch of cooler power when Aaron fumbled at the end. So basically I think I have pissed off every reader except StB and Drizz. There is always next week!

Seriously though this is ALL Bayne's fault. I was not going to pick a single team. I would also like to remind you California is closer than Massachusetts for most of you. In order to keep my last reader -- Scott, no way your going to win the lotto! Peace.

Paid Advertisement

The following is a paid advertisement brought to you by Bayne. If you have any problems with his misuse of evil powers you should bring it up with him. Without further ado.. NFL Predictions for the Weekend brought to you by Bayne.

Jets +3 @ Cincinnati. I like the Bungles here. The Jets had to play hard to get into the playoffs and the Bungles just sat back and showed nothing. Excellent strategy. Now this week the Jets will be surprised and overwhelmed by the boys from Cinci.

Philadelphia Eagles +4 at Dallas Cowboys. I like the Eagles here. Dallas schoooooled them last week. Cinched home field advantage. Got it done. I still think they are a choke team. Dallas will choke and go home embarrassed yet another year.

Baltimore Ravens +3.5 at the New England Patriots. Have to go with my Patriots here. I think they will bring it and win in a close game.

Green Bay Packers (pickem) at the Arizona Cardinals. These are the two teams I have watched the least this year. I think the Packers do it here. I believe a lot in convergence and god wanting to make it hurt bad. So you need to figure out what would hurt the worst to people. Obviously it is a Vikings vs Packers game. So many people would be invested in that game so I see Green Bay continuing on to the next round.

So there you have it. Cooler powers have been activated. Bayne did not influence any picks he did however cause me to pick. I would have just let it play out if not for him.

Giganto Style

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker! Bloggers can register for to play for free in the WBCOOP, if you don’t have a PokerStars account you can get your Poker Download here.

Registration code: 266703

Red Pro Status

I was just thinking.. if iPoker ban's winning players.. does that mean I should hit them up for a Red Pro deal or something? Interesting possibilities.

Nothing much going on. I am in the funk still. I was thinking this morning about why I do not do things to help my appearance. You know like JoeSpeaker type stuff with the moose and the jell and whatever else he has to do to have rockstar hair. I came to the conclusion in wisdom spoken from my family "You can dress a platypus in a suit but that does not make him a prince". I was just born ugly and will have to live with the solace I get from saving 10K a year on hair product and foo foo barbers.

God Hates Me

Am I the only one who's first reaction to a crippled guy in a wheel chair is to think "Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto"? Perhaps there is a reason god hates me.

Now go forth and read some good people like Dr. Pauly as he finished up his MUCH anticipated Lost Vegas Book or The Wife as she contemplates the past year and her awesome body in the mirror naked even.. I swear I read a lot of naked! It was good.

It is kind of funny how a lot of the things she recapped were the same as me, minus the happy ending with the loving hubby and kids. Ah well there is always 2012 to look forward to!

TILT

Have you ever noticed how different games have different kinds of tilt. For instance No Limit Holdem. It is a passionate, quick, sweaty tilt. It consumes you with fire as you place buyin after buyin on the table. In the end, like any good steamy romance, it leaves you hollow wistful and broken, empty, and wondering what happened.

Stud is a more insidious tilt. It is slower and more disguised. You may not even notice it. It is mature like the octogenarians who frequent the many oxygen tank filled casinos of the world. You start thinking that your three cards to both high and low draws look kinda good on fifth street. The other guy sucked out his boat on the river.. why not you. You maybe win a few hands. In the end, like the old people who play, you wind up with a load of crap in your pants and not too much more.