From I,Shane.. Part Duex

Go ahead and read the first post for the first few responses. I am doing the next few here.

I read this on I,Shane and thought it was interesting.

Comment on this entry, and I will:

1. Tell you why I am friends with you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
6. In return, you must post this to your own journal/blog.

Bayne

1. I think you are a smart guy and pretty funny and may even know a few things about poker. You have a very level personality and I find you to be good company during the day since we both screw off at our jobs.
2. I associate Rogain for Men with you. You have such shiny headed bald goodness!!!
3. I like how we greet each other in IM... Baynneee.. Wafffles... like some retarded murder mystery or something.
4. I will always remember that night in your room.. oh wait, no, that is ScottMc.. I probably will always remember some retarded suckout you put on me.. but I had a great time in Vegas with you and hopefully will make some more good memories.
5. Is your wife really a sexy slutty whore? That is how I picture her from all of our talks.

Katitude
1. We are friends because you are so fucking cool. I mean leather biker chick nerd. No way I could make a better friend than that.
2. I should say poodles.. lol. You and Jewels did not like that much. I was only kidding though! I would say I totally associate you with hot leather goodness.
3. I like your open grab ass attitude towards life. It reinvigorates me to see your fun energy.
4. My best memory of you is when Joannda, You, I and Gary were hanging out at the bar shooting the shit and having a great time. I really bonded with the people on that visit and will never forget it.
5. Have you ever had lesbian sex?.. no wait, save that one for CK.. um.. Can I have a ride on your bike?

Friday Fucking Rant

First off who the fuck saying walking is healthy? I just took a nice walk around the Hancock building. First I went to get my monthly T pass at Back Bay Station. Can I walk fifteen feet in Boston without some cracked out bastard coming up to me "CMON MAN! ONE DOLLAR! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!". Fucking work for your crack dollar like everyone else you fucking retard. Do not chase me down in the street and try and rip it from my pockets. Scumbag.

I get in Back Bay Station. Have you motherfuckers ever heard of something called "VENTELLATION!" I mean jesus fucking christ. At least hand out gas masks at the door if your going to pump the smoke from your dirty ass trains directly into the station. What a piece of shit operation that is.

So I risk the dangers of the train station and walk to get a drink at Burger King. Minor pet peeve, can you motherfuckers understand red vs green. I find it somewhat amusing as you dodge cars who have the right away but since none of you are hit and killed I can not condone your actions. Please have the decency to get run over. Either that or obey the law! Just be glad I am not Judge Dreadd!!! I would so fuck you up.

A big fuck you to the Yellow Bus tour service that parks outside the church. Who the hell decide that a crosswalk would be a good place to park a bus in front of every day? Hello? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you retarded? Is that why your bus is yellow? I do not appreciate having to jump into the street without being able to see if anything is coming. Your company should be shutdown and you should be burned at the stake.

Holy fuck my adviser on the streets has told me that Michael the Fucking Genius Craig can not even spell Andy Bloch correctly. I mean what the fuck? Do you not work with the guy? Is he not a Full Tilt pro like *snicker* you? Do you not have something called an editor? Your a piece of shit and you obviously can not be bothered by things like spelling and shit like that. Wait? Am I ranting about someones spelling.
Err.. NEXT!!!

I almost forgot Elaine says Diet coke is NOT enough to live on! Fuck you I am living proof. Oops. Maybe she is right. Dammit. I hate healthy people anyways.


Until later fuck you all.

From I,Shane..

I read this on I,Shane and thought it was interesting.

Comment on this entry, and I will:

1. Tell you why I am friends with you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
6. In return, you must post this to your own journal/blog.


Ten Mile
1. Who the fuck are you? I am sure as hell not friends with you.
2. I associate you with: SHIT. Brown noser motherfucker.
3. I do not like anything about you.
4. I will forget you even exist after I write this.
5. Why is my link not even on your crappy blog?

Vinnay
1. You look like a Vinnay.
2. I associate you with Joe Pesci. You could be an extra on good fellas.
3. I like that you can get Aces cracked in a Blogger event like me
4. My only memory of you is a black leather jacket. That is you right?
5. Did you not get the memo in 1970 that black leather is out?

Kaja
1. Friends is pushing it.. I have spoken to you on IM. Do not be so clingy.
2. I associate you with the Wiggles. How can I take someone with the name Kajajuju who names his kids Kajakiddo and Kajadoggo with anything adult.
3. I like how I laugh everytime I see your name. I am easy.
4. I remember you spewing chips at cash.. or maybe that was Skiddoo.. hmm..
5. Do you really think Kajagugu is cute? Are you really that fucking gay?

No nekkiiid Otis?

Ah well lost Nekkiid pictures again. Sorry girls. I am sure you would have enjoyed seeing Otis in all his splendor or lack thereof whatever the case may be. I ended up going out 4th in the Mookie due to not paying enough attention to the board. I am not positive I would have folded here. I did have the nut flush. However if I noticed the board was paired and McLucky was jamming I would have had to have considered it. He limped Kings pre-flop vs my A5d then turned the boat when my flush hit. Well played by him. I am a little disappointed I did not notice the board paired. I at least would have wanted the ability to decide how to act. My own fault but the only thing I am disappointed about. All in all I think I am playing well and getting lucky enough. I actually only won one hand while behind tonight. It was against TripJax. We just made the money and he limped Kings.. I jammed sixes into him and four flushed his ass pretty much out of the game. Congrats to the final table. Everyone played really well. Thanks to Riggs I made 3rd place money and top three are the money spots in MTTs so I am pleased. Tomorrow is Riverfuckers. Then I need to get my Big Game token. Until then.

Numbitcho

What the hell is this guys problem? Numbitcho? I swear I have never seen such a pussy baby in my life.. myself included. I wrote before how he always is behind me and whines that he loses. He usually tells me how good he is and how he is going to knock me out this time.. and yet it never seems to happen. Did not happen last night. Will not happen tonight.

Apparently I am not the only target of his moronic whining. Straight from last nights game via one of the Wankahs this funny chat.

[NumbBono]: well played
[NumbBono]: calling off those chips with 6-6
[NumbBono]: nice job
[NumbBono]: I don't know how you retards made it this far
Columbo777: just coin flipping
[NumbBono]: not really, but whatever
Columbo777: nothing i love better than being called a retard.
Columbo777: wtf?
[NumbBono]: I watch you play like crap every week, but you always get the best of me
Columbo777: I make a questionable call with 66 against a short stack and I play like crap every week?!
Columbo777: wtf?
MoFo_69: lol
MoFo_69: cant we all just get along
MoFo_69: or is everyone going to get pissy when they lose now?

He is talking shit to a fair superior player than he is. I respect the hell out of Columbo and his level of play and success at the game shows he deserves it. Very tough opponent and hard to put on a hand. Numbono on the other hand. Shitty player. Moron.

Oh an while I am complementing players Donkette has an actual poker strategy post up today and well it is pretty good. She states 22 beats AK. Brilliant baby! Keep them coming.

Lazy Pimpage

AlCantHang's BBT3

By Pauly
New York City

Wanna chance to win a seat to the 2008 WSOP? Stop by AlCantHang's blog for more details about BBT3, which will be held on Full Tilt.

BBT3 will start this weekend with Miami Don's Big Game.

If you do not have a Full Tilt account, you can download Full Tilt Poker here.


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Shamelessly and entirely copied from Tao of Poker. I am sure Pauly will forgive me for my laziness. If not fuck him. Al is the fucking man though. I am so gonna bust my roll playing this. Actually I am thinking of a more strategic approach to this playing less games but playing better and more focused. Not sure restraint in my best trait but we shall see. I am looking forward to kicking it off in Miami Don's "Big Shame". I have never really done well in this event but I am feeling good about my game lately. We shall see.

Tonight is the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK! I went deep in the Skillz again. Missing the final table bubble by a few. I had a good stack with two tables left but after Evy Blacjack any Face any Ace killed me in a few hands of holdem I got a little too loose in Omatard and squandered my chance. In general I think I played a good game until the end. Sometimes you just lose focus.

Need to win a Mookie this year for sure. I dominated them in 2006 then did not win a single one in 2007. So 2008 I need to kick it up a notch. I mean the players can not be any worse than the original Mookie crew was so it should be easy. I am not as obsessed about it as Hoyazo and Mookie are but I belong on the money board period. End of story. See you tonight.

Sorry No Posting

Sorry been pissed off to no end. I got all tilty this weekend from a few loses so I put a chunk of my roll on the table. 200HU and $69 tourney that god decided to punish me in. I won the 200/HU NLHE SNG again making my record 4-0 vs 200 NLHE HU SNG Donks. Really good value in those games. I also cashed in 28th or so place thanks to super fucking donk when I could have possibly gotten much higher. Having a top ten stack with thirty left I have no doubt I could have squeezed down to fifteen at worst.

My shit had corn in it this morning. What is so magical about corn that it can not be digested? I mean seeing chunks of it come back out just makes me hungry again. See I have nothing.

I have no aim right now. I am aimless. See you at the Skillz tonight I guess.

Why does god hate me

Full Tilt Poker Game #5396981628: $10,000 Guarantee (40343853), Table 4 - 400/800 Ante 100 - No Limit Hold'em - 15:36:59 ET - 2008/02/25
Seat 1: screeming chick (11,283)
Seat 2: DDH540 (16,421)
Seat 3: chefyrobz (36,422)
Seat 4: Waffles (10,020)
Seat 5: ALLJAYS (15,842)
Seat 6: vienna0001 (21,481)
screeming chick antes 100
DDH540 antes 100
chefyrobz antes 100
Waffles antes 100
ALLJAYS antes 100
vienna0001 antes 100
Waffles posts the small blind of 400
ALLJAYS posts the big blind of 800
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Waffles [Jd Ad]
vienna0001 folds
screeming chick folds
DDH540 folds
chefyrobz calls 800
Waffles raises to 9,920, and is all in
ALLJAYS folds
chefyrobz calls 9,120
Waffles shows [Jd Ad]
chefyrobz shows [3s Ks]
*** FLOP *** [3d Ac 9h]
*** TURN *** [3d Ac 9h] [3h]
*** RIVER *** [3d Ac 9h 3h] [4c]
Waffles shows two pair, Aces and Threes
chefyrobz shows three of a kind, Threes
chefyrobz wins the pot (21,240) with three of a kind, Threes
Waffles: lol
Waffles stands up
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 21,240 | Rake 0
Board: [3d Ac 9h 3h 4c]
Seat 1: screeming chick folded before the Flop
Seat 2: DDH540 folded before the Flop
Seat 3: chefyrobz (button) showed [3s Ks] and won (21,240) with three of a kind, Threes
Seat 4: Waffles (small blind) showed [Jd Ad] and lost with two pair, Aces and Threes
Seat 5: ALLJAYS (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 6: vienna0001 folded before the Flop

Sick

I have the plague. Is it too much to ask that I be allowed to soak my manhole in a nice warm bath. Apparently it is. Now I am bleeding. *sigh*

For my Beloved Hoyazo

Honestly he has not done anything recently but with his new found popularity, and several people singing his praises, I felt the need to remind the world he is an asshole. In general and without going into any specifics he was invited to a Blogger event. He attended. Pretended to be buddy buddy with everyone and all that shit. He gets back and one second later he is posting all these rude posts about people. Calling people names, publishing anything embarrassing that might have happened to anyone and just totally missing the whole point of what I think this community means. I do not blame him for not getting it but I think it takes a low scumbag of a person to do something like that. A weasel if you will. I have heard other rumors about him doing this over and over again but can not vouch for the validity of any of them. So forever more he is a scumbag to me. I do not blame the Goat at all for sucking his fiddle, if you will, for a hundred bucks and he probably has done nothing to deserve the Goat's hatred. I tend to be a pretty forgiving person in general as I usually get my vitriol out and move on but there are some people I do not care to ever associate with. So that is why I personally hate the guy.

*** EDIT:I am talking about Michael Craig not Hoyazo. Just in case there is any confusion. My I hate Hoyazo post will come later.

Great Night

I had a wonderful night. I went really deep in the Riverfucker Stud-8 tourney. If you remember I almost won one of these before. I admit Stud-8 is not my strongest game so it was nice to get as far as I did. Emptyman really fucking got me at the end. First he calls me down with AQ high vs my Flush and Low Draws not to mention any pair and he freaking wins the split pot with Ace-Queen high. He then fucked me on some other riddonkulous hand that I can not even remember and that was it. Out on the final table bubble. I will give the guy credit though. No matter what game he plays he really lays on the pressure.

On the other side at the same time I was deep in the KORD Razz MTT. I was owning this game. On the final table I had a 17K stack vs 4k of my largest competitor. I really played a great game. I put pressure on the final table until they started playing back at me then I slowed down and waited for premium hands to take them out with. Once they were afraid again I put the pressure on. It was a fun game and I think I played really well. I did suckout on Volgon on the final hand but I had such a big lead I figured I could gamble a little.

I owned Numbono like I always do. I do not understand this whiny little pussy. Everytime I meet up with him in a competition I kick his ass. I always get in with a better hand. He always cries that I suck and he is awesome and I am a lucksack. I think he is just jealous that he can not suckout on me like everyone else. I am all for complaining about someones play but that someone HAS TO BE BEHIND AND SUCKOUT before I will start crying. He always has the worst hand and whines like a baby. I just do not get it. I am glad I took him out in third and only wish it could have been in fourth.

So for the next month I guess I am THE KING OF THE RAZZ DONKS! Woot! All my loyal subjects can start supplicating now. I think I am going to focus a lot on my cash game. I have rakeback so I want to really give the game a fair shot. I have also been talking to the cash donkeys I know and getting geared up. We shall see how this goes.

Public Service Announcement

In case anyone has forgotten or does not know Michael Craig is in fact a fucking tool. Please cease and desist from licking his ass even if he does give you free money. You will get aids and die. This has been a public service announcement. Once again. Michael Craig is a worthless piece of shit and you do not need to kiss his ass. Thank you. The Management.

Interesting Night

I had a weird time at cash the other night and thought I would write my experiences and get some feedback. I did see Skiddoo lose a little money with 55. Fuels hand. Fools gold baby.

Anyway I was pretty frustrated last night as I kept running into sets with good strong top pairs. I obviously overplayed them in my MTTs but still frustrating.

So I sit at a 50/NL table and lose a few small hand. I then type to the table "*TILT* I HAVE HAD IT! I AM ON SUPER MEGA TILT! I AM JAMMING THE NEXT HAND". So the next hand comes and it is a nice 25o and I jam my entire stack in and the table folds. So I am chuckling a little. So I say "In four hands I am jamming my whole stack in!". So I wait four hands and see 63o. I announce to the table it is hand four and I am jamming ATC.. and I jam and they all fold and I show. I then notify the table I am giving them a break for 15 minutes and will jam all in at exactly 10:57. So I wait and some dude raises 1.50 in EP at 10:57 and I jam and he folds. Even though I announced that I was jamming. I show my A9o. I felt for sure he was going to call. So by now the table thinks I am a total donkey, not a bad assumption. A funny thing happens though. I get into a hand with a OESD and Flush draw. I make my flush. I jam the draw then the made hand and I get paid. I double up. Then I flop two pair and jam. A guy with an OESD calls my all in saying "Ok, I will gamble with you". He was expecting six more outs but I had him drawing to 8 on the flop and 6 on the turn since I picked up a flush draw.

So anyway I end the session up 1.5 buyins. I was up almost 2 buyins at one point. It seemed to me that my prior actions and a little luck sucking out with 17+ outs (I only made my OESD+Flush+Overcards hands one of three times) and some aggressive play made the table much more willing to call off my big bets with weaker hands. In the hand where I made the flush the guy only had a pair of nines. I already mentioned the draw hand.

So the interesting thing here besides me actually winning in cash. I find often times I can not get any action on my big hands. Mostly because people respect my play for some stupid reason or something like that. I do sometimes play a really tight game. So are there ways to generate action? Like Doyle said "You have to give action to get action". Is jamming in and showing a bad hand or calling down with a third pair for a small pot going to loosen up your table? Do you run a bluff and get caught? What methods can you use to make your table go insane?

Normally when I play cash I might win a buyin or a partial buyin. A few times like last night I see the table go crazy and I want to be able to manipulate that. The majority of the times I have made multiple buyins Fluxer has been at my table. Either winning the buyins from him or via transference where the table thinks everyone is a donk because one person is playing overly donkishly.

Any comments or suggestions. I would like to win multiple buyins more often. It is fun.

Welcome Poker MILF

But thank God, I found Riverchasers shortly after moving here. It helped me meet new people and it is a real poker tour, unlike the bullshit back in VA. I've improved my game and have met a lot of really, really cool people.
-- MILF Evy

Please welcome the lovely and talented Evy to the blogger fold. The quote from her very first post had me laughing for hours and what more can you ask for in a blog? Evy is a very nice person and I hope to meet her someday when I invade a Riverchasers event live. Of course I am still waiting to buy my exercise bike so when this happens is up in the air. Procrastination, gotta love it!

As for my night. Played some LHE, left up twenty, went out 3rd in a SNG KK vs 79h. I Raised 800 pre-flop and was called, and she jammed all in with a flush draw on the flop. I knew the bitch was on a draw too. Motherfucker makes it on the river and IGH. Fucking losers I have to be spiteful and look up their fucking losing records on Sharkscope. Normally these genius's have something like -2000 dollars at avg stake of 1 dollar. Now that takes talent.

I also went out 14th in Riverchasers. Lost focus. Got bored. I dunno. I raised pre-flop for the third time ever and got the normal two callers with A2 and not much else. I flopped second pair and a gutshot with a second nut low. The board was not very coordinated but I got a case of Kats "Ohfuckitz" and just went for it. If I folded I had like 5BB left. So possibly not a bad call. Not a great one either. Drizzle ended up scooping it when he turned a straight and rivered a straight. Something like that. I actually had some outs with overcards and my turned two pair but it was not to be. Oh well.

Tonight is the Mookie and who knows what else. I am feeling very aimless at the moment in poker. I am a little bummed out about being back down to 800ish. I understand variance and all that crap but sometimes it seem like I will never get anywhere. I also feel like I have no focus. I am not sure that is a bad thing but sometimes it can be.

Here is a good example possibly. If I decided to play LHE to make some money. Last night there was only one table running so not a lot to choose from. So in reality if I play four hours maybe I make $16-$24 or something at the 1/2 level. However if I play even one SNG then my profit is reduced by $10 if I lose. So spreading out and playing both games negatively impacts the limit games results and easily could make for a losing night.

Anyway just rambling.

Actually one funny hand..

I played one pretty funny hand on FT. I have 46o. It is raised. Re-Raised. One short stack jams. I call. The original raiser re-re-raises and the second raiser jams all in. So I take Hoys advice that if you are getting 3:1 or better you should always put your chips in. So I get all in with 64o pre-flop. All cards are turned over in this four way all in: KK/QQ/AJ and me 64o. So basically I am dooomed. Except I do not think I am in bad shape. I see a six on the flop. Now I know for certain I am going to win and stack two of the three players. The turn is a six. BOOOOM! The river is a four! BOAT BABY! I take down a HUGE stack. I never realized how smart Hoyazo is.

I am Alive

Apparently people been missing my daily posting. I am alive though. I actually went to the doctors this morning to get checked out and make sure I did not have anything seriously wrong. I was waiting for my Asian sexy goddess doctor having the usual dreams of stirrups, blow jobs, and lubricated fingers, you know the normal stuff. The appointment went well. She does not think I have Diabetes. She thinks its probably more of some sort of allergic reaction or skin thing. She prescribed some steroid creme (there goes my baseball career) and is going to wait and see. Interestingly enough she touched my wounds without a glove. Now tell me she was not coming on to me?

I went into work afterwards. I was standing at the crosswalk in Boston and little old ladies and cripples were crossing but I waited for the walk sign. It is just the kind of person I am. I try to follow certain rules of society while totally ignoring others. The ironic thing about life is that I could wait for the walk sign and still get hit by some fucktard running a red light. Just because you do things the right way does not mean you are guaranteed anything. Another life and poker analogy.

I am down a few hundred bucks at poker over the past few days. Just can not get much going. I took yesterday off partly because I was not feeling well and partly to get a little distance from the possibility of tilt. I did have fun in a few MTTs playing WWLD. It actually showed me that more aggressive play can sometimes work out well. Of course when I jammed Jacks into Queens that was the downside.

I also had fun playing a little with F-Train. Man did we get fucked out of some Razz pots. I finally donated a stack to him with a seven vs a six. Normally at these tables that is not bad but against a skilled player like F-Train it probably was not smart.

Anyway tonight I will try and hit it again with the Skillz game. peace.

I suck

I tilted hard yet again. The crazy monkey got me. SO I start looking at 200$ HU SNGs. If you remember my record to date is 1 for 1. Great stats! So anyways. I clicked on the wrong thing. A PLO HU. I promptly got spanked. Then I am on super tilt. So I play a 200HU NLHE like I wanted to. I win. I play the same guy again. I win AGAIN! Easiest wins ever. I mean there was not even any time I doubted the matches. Ok one time. On the second one. When I was down 500 to 2000. BUT I FUCKING CAME BACK MOTHERCUKERS! So anyways my tilt subsided when I won the second HU match and most of my losses for the night were recovered. I am a slick 3-0 in 200NLHE HU matches so far. Someone should sponsor me for some. Of course I may just play them better on tilt.

Doctor Doctor!

I think I need to see my Doctor. I hate doctors and avoid them all the time. Well not Dr. Pauly.. and Ick is ok I guess.. Lately I have noticed I have a few sores on my legs. They do not seem to be going away. Kinda gross. I think I might have Diabetes or a Heart condition.. or maybe Chad gave me Aids when he said "Get Aids and Die!".

Valentines Day

I almost forgot to tell this. I gave my wife a $4 box of chocolate for Valentines day. I picked it up at CVS on the way home. My son bet her $2 that I would bring her something. She said no freaking way. My son is a playah and will win all prop bets against you losers. Booyah!

Top Songs for Poker

I never really put on the headphones and listen to music while playing poker but over the years I have picked up a few songs that I have enjoyed listening to while playing. So I will post these over the next week or so when I fancy it. The first song goes out to someone I have been playing with since the old Party Poker Days: Gordogg.

In the olden times when Party Poker was the hot spot and the Government let adults be adults for the most part we used to play a lot together. It would be Gordo, Veneno me and Jusses hitting the little MTTs or SNGs every night cheering each other on. On those nights when we would do good and hit a nice pot Gordo would put down his bong at fire up "The White Boy is Back" and all us white boys (and girls) would be singing along to the lyrics having a really good ole time cheering each other on. Was a hell of a lot of fun.

Better Night

..I did lose the Riverchasers.. on a KKx flop.. with K8.. Possibly could have gotten away from that..

.. and I did bubble.. a SNG.. with AA vs A2...

.. I also made a great gut read, in the 11K... put someone on a hand.. went with it.. called their all in.. had them dominated.. with my Ace high (AQ) vs their Ace high (AT).. and turned a Queen... and got rivered by a straight ..

.. but I did win a few SNGs ..

.. and in five minutes of Razz made like 80 bucks..

.. and ended the night up a cool hundred ..

So yeah, tonight was a much better night.

Consentual Dream Sex

Just to clarify Baynes question. I did have consensual sex with dream April. However I did not ask real April if I could dream about sex with her. So was it unconsensual sex with live April? Just the metaphysical implications in developing an answer to this question are mind numbing. Also just for the record I would have no problem having unconsensual sex with dream April but normally most of my unconsensual dream sex involves yellow people taking advantage of me.

Ug

Last night was HORRIBLE. I went 4-6 in HU matches getting rivered as a huge favorite multiple times. My favorite was when I had KQ on a Qxx flop and Q3 calls my all in and rivers his three. After that I felt the bad "get even" feeling kicking in. A sort of hectic rush to win it all back. This never ends well. I recognized it. Donked out of the Mookie. Our table was sick as there were TWO quad Aces in the short time I was there. Got in a hand with KT vs K9 for all of a short stacks chips in the cash game.. river is a nine. Dude bets 1/2 his stack on the turn with a naked Ace high flush against my big pair. Rivers the flush. Down one buyin. Finally I gave in to the inevitable at 10:30 after my two pair lost to a bigger two pair in my final HU game. I am not saying I did not make some stupid plays but some nights nothing you do is going to be right. So I did a little damage to the roll losing around ninety bucks but it could have been a lot worse. I should have quit earlier but at least I finally quit. Perhaps this is Karma for raping April in my dreams. Who knows. Every day is a fresh new day though as long as you stay in the game. See you at the Riverfuckers.

Weird Times

I had the weirdest dream last night. I guess it might have come from seeing her at the end of the LHE Skillz game. I ended up finishing that bad boy in 7th for zero money. A lot of fun. I had a dream that I had sex with April. It was a really weird dream. We were in her bed and she rolls over and I feel that pleasing sensation of pussy surrounding my nice hard cock.. then Maigrey comes in and disrupts us. Next the dream gets weird. My wife comes in and April wants to hold my hand since we had sex and shit.. and I am like isnay on the ahnday oldingay because my wife is sitting there next to us. What do you think of that Mr. Freud? So now that I have creaped April out for the day.

I went deep in the Skillz game for the second time in a row. Does that mean I have mad skillz? Probably not. I got fucked over by the overlucky Bayne. First both Wankah (not sure which one) and I get him all in with A3 vs K8 vs Q2. Bayne has the K8 and I have the weak Ace and he turns a king to take it down.

Next I get in pre-flop with him. He has JJ and I have A6. Heads up six ways the flop comes JAx. So we bet-call it down. Worst flop ever. Sure I overplayed my Ace but we were heads up.

The final hand that knocked me out in sixth. I had a weakish but decent QTh and about six blinds left. Bayne also has six blinds or so left. So we get most of it in pre-flop. The flop comes Txx which is PERFECT for my hand. So we get the rest of our money in. He flips over A8. The turn is a blank. Then the lucksack rivers me with a fucking Ace. Three fucking outer. Asshole. I swear he is the luckiest fucker ever.

So I am sorta pissed I just missed the money and I go an play my nightly regiment of NLHE HU SNG matches. I get a DREAM opponent. I smoke him the first hand when he can not fold a KING FOUR on a 99JJK board. Sikk. Then he fucking destroys me the next two games. I get all in with him A9 vs A7 and he rivers a seven on my ass.. then I get in with 88 vs A2 and he flops a fucking Ace. Fucking retard.

So I quit on this guy and go find a guy playing HU PLO. This guy was HORRIBLE. He would over commit with just a pair. The first game I call a small raise of his with QQ and flop comes Qxx. We get all in on the flop and my queens hold against his kings. The second game I cripple him with a boat vs his over pair again. Finally I call a small raise of his with a sorta weakish Q6T5 hand s00ted. This guy was so fucking crazy on any flop I think seeing most flops was a good idea for me. The flop comes T6 and we get all in. He has JJ. The river pairs... but it pairs my ten so I beat him with a boat! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMA! He types in the chat "You are the luckiest fucker ever". Now I know how it feels to be Bayne! Woot!

Up for tonight? Hopefully more dreams of female blogger sex. If you want to send me some nice pictures to stimulate my overactive imagination sirfwalgman@gmail.com. I am going to do the "SUPER HU SNG PROGRESSIVE CHALLENGE!!!". The parameters are as follows. I will play three of my normal level SNG. If I win all three I progress to the next level. Until I lose one. My current longest consecutive winning streak is ten in a row so I probably will not get past the $33 level unless I run really good. Anyway it should keep things interesting. I will also be playing the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK! I want to win this bad tonight. Why? Because I am a Hoy hater and I want to keep him from winning. I feel like I have been getting back to form lately and been going deep and winning my fair share of things. So I feel good about a win in the Mookie this year.

I almost forgot, what the hell is it with Duggles and the Dog show? His choice the lovely Beagle won. What the fuck though? How can anyone watch that shit? Is Duggles Beagle Bestiality? I dunno. Weird.

One last thing. Go read Lucy's post on Middle Pairs. Very interesting stuff from someone you can tell knows how to play the game. I need to get me a cash game coach or something.

That is all.

Deciding Between The Following

Also working on my new hit single "Here's to you Mr. Old Pervert Man"...

Here's to you Mr. Old Pervert Man
Your Kids Don't Go to this School do they?
Here's to you Mr. Old Pervert Man
Stop Creeping me out on the Train Ride

Ok so I am bored while my Query is running.

Never Satisfied

Sometimes this is good and other times not so much.

I hit up the 50/NL tables last night. I think I played fucking awesome. Some of the hands that I had were as follows.

I have AJ on a JJxxx board, rainbow, no straights. I lose to an 88 boat. Lucky for me this person was a fucking tard and only bet very small amounts. I actually had a note on them that said "Small Bet big Hand", but I ignored this on the river and put in a small value bet which they just called. uh, hello?

I have KJ and limp in the blind. I see a flop of Jxx. All unders. I bet. I bet turn. I bet river. I never once get raised and I lose to KK. How the fuck do you never raise here? Ever? At all? Wow.

I have AK on a Kxx board and lose to yet another set hitting against me.

I have QQ and I fold it pre-flop. Early position raises to two bucks. I re-raise to four. He re-raises to ten. Now normally this play is read dependant but I had a good read on him and the other two times I re-raised him he folded.

I got Aces and Kings a bunch of times. I usually re-raised any initial raise with them and AK also and got a bunch of folders. Nobody really ever played back at me pre-flop.

I was pretty tight the entire game. I played 18% of my hands and raised almost everything I played. I showed down a few bad hands to show people I did not always raise with good hands.

Some of my biggest wins were with Ace high. I snapped off two river bluffs with only Ace high and won both pots. I had seen this guy do the same thing a few times. Raise in position with a week suited hand. C-bet the flop. Check the turn. Lead out with a weakish bet on the river. A few times I let him have the hand. Then I snapped off his bluff a couple of times to make a profit. He stopped trying to bluff me on the river.

So in like four hours of play I lost a grand total of fifteen dollars. I think I played a great game too. Fucking cash! Kiss my ass. I then went and played SIX heads up SNGs, went 5-1, and scored a nice little forty buck profit covering all my loses and then some for the night. Why do I want to play cash? I have no idea.

Free Speech

I really have a problem with Full Tilts chat banning policy. I have been the recipient of a ban or two in my life at Full Tilt and I think it sucks. You fuckers at Full Tilt want to tell the government we are old enough to play poker and decide for ourselves but we are not old enough to click that little button that mutes asshole? I know Chad is a total asshole. Really. I agree with you guys. So I want to start a letter writing campaign to Full Tilt. I am not sure who we will send these letters to. Obviously tech support is just a bunch of Indian's who have a script and get paid four bucks an hour to eat curry and piss people off. Not full tilts problem more of a general issue with all support.

Anyway if you want to join the campaign I am going to ask Full Tilt to.. Reinstate Chad? No fucking way. He is a homer. I instead think that they should either remove the muting ability at the tables or stop banning anyones chat. My feeling is that if the software gives us a way to handle loud mouths like Choad then that should be the method not some idiotic chat ban.

If you are with me send an email to sirfwalgman@gmail.com with your choice words for Full Tilt and I will make sure they reach the right ears!!! Please feel free to use this banner to spread the word!!!!!

Morosus

morose

Main Entry:
mo·rose Listen to the pronunciation of morose
Pronunciation:
\mə-ˈrōs, mȯ-\
Function:
adjective
Etymology:
Latin morosus, literally, capricious, from mor-, mos will
Date:
1565

1 : having a sullen and gloomy disposition 2 : marked by or expressive of gloom

How is that for a first in a Waffle's post. I used a big word. Mom would be proud. I usually take a "writing" style that is more simplistic because I feel like I want to write for the masses. It does not mean I do not know big words. I actually was very good at big words in school.

I am in a funky mood. Poker is going ok. I focused on HU this weekend and went 16-6 over 22 games. I made a little profit. Bumped back over 1K. I have been thinking a lot how I do not see myself alive in five years. That is pretty gloomy and sullen.

It is funny in some ways my life is very very good and I can really see it just needs a few tiny little tweaks in the right direction to be very good. On the other hand I feel like I am trapped in a pit of gloom and despair with no way out.

Fucking SNGays

I had a frustrating night. First I jam AK s00ted in the Bodog 10K and get called by JackAce motherfucker to get knocked out. Then I am 2nd in chips with five left and push my Kings pre-flop and get called by Ace fucking Seven.. and go out in 5th for a lot less then I should have won. Oh well. I did win seventy bucks tonight and a token which I lost in a 75/SNG when I was short chipped and jammed 99 into QQ with like five left. Tomorrow is another day.

I am sort of getting a little frustrated with the stalled bankroll. I keep working it up to 1200 then losing it back to 1K. Up. Down. Up. Down. Getting dizzy. This is natural for bankrolls and then one day you go on a little rush and push past that spot you were stuck at but it is still frustrating.

Not much else going on. I did have a fun day. I got to charge my client 2x my normal rate for some special work and they were not ready for me in the morning.. So I spent several hours watching Anime and waiting for them to be ready. Fun times!

I have decided that I need to make a 10K bankroll to spite all my readers. So in order to give the big fuck-you to all of you I am going to shoot the roll through the roof this year and end up with 10K. This will end any debate on my profitability in poker. Of course it will probably also end the blog since I find it very uninteresting when I am actually doing well. Stay tuned for updates. Don is setting the line now.

Fuck it I'll Bite..

In keeping with the retarded internet fight themes I guess I will bite. MiamiDon showed me this site where some Bodonky fag is talking shit about me. Now I have never claimed to be a massively winning player but I do not lie.

The first mistake he makes is assuming I have never withdrawn any money. I have withdrawn multiple times in the past of sums of money in the 1K range. I think the second bad assumption he makes is I am broke. I actually have a nice $1200 starter bankroll which is growing nicely. The majority of the "bust" outs I have reported over the past year have been on bankrolls started from free advertising money of $50. I would run it up a little and bust out. All of this money was FREE and so I do not consider it a loss. However if we take 50/mo for the past two years (even though this is longer than I have had the advertising) we come up with $1200. So in fact even if we were to over count this money I am still BREAK EVEN. Not counting any withdrawals I have made. I am very annoyed that someone would call me a liar. I am very proud of having made no money over the past few years and nobody can take that away from me. Nobody!

Next we get to my favorite comment on the blog.

$mokkee said...

i think you'll find very few players are making money or break even. the biggest problem for them is BR mgmt. Wawfuls has no BR mgmt skills. that's why he keeps going busto. somebody is staking him for the blogger big cash game Fuel has put together next wed night during the mOOk. whoever did that has got way too much $$$ to burn IMO.

How the fuck can this whiny bitch talk any shit about me? I mean seriously. I remember just a month or so ago he was whining about how he can never win on Full Tilt and that he sucked and he went busto and tears and shit. I have no idea how well he does in Poker but the times I have played against him I was not so impressed that he should be talking shit. So go chase your gutshots and whine about your Aces never winning and shut the fuck up. Jesus. Retards.

Fun Times

Played the big cash game. Many thanks to Poker Gnome. How did I do? I think I overplayed a hand or two which is a big leak in my NLHE cash game. I also played a few hands really well. The final hand I was short and rr with pocket sevens after a ep raise. The ep guy cold calls and the flop comes A34. I thought I might be beat but I had 160 left in a 360 pot. So I jammed and AQ calls. I think either him or I should have pushed pre-flop but whatever. It was fun. The worst hand I played was against Bone Daddy when I overplayed 33TTT vs his Quad Tens. I thought the turn bet was fishy but I did not back off like I should have. Oh well. All in all it was an interesting experience and besides playing one or two hands horribly I think I did alright. I hope to be playing this game with my own funds by the end of the year. Probably not regularly but once in a while.

The rest of the night was equally craptastic. Won a few bucks in 25/NLHE. Lost a few bucks in Stud-8. Won a token. Lost a few SNGS. Pretty happy with where I am at so far this year though. Tomorrow night I will try to dominate the Riverfuckers again. I love those guys.

Might be Fun

This is a test to gauge your mental flexibility and creativity. In the three years it has been developed it has been found that few people could solve more than half on the first day. Many reported getting answers long after the test had been set aside, at unexpected moments when their minds were relaxed, and some reported solving it over a period of several days.

Example: 16 O in a P. Answer: 16 ounces in a pound.

1. 26 L of the A
2. 7 D of the W
3. 1001 A N
4. 12 S of the Z
5. 54 C in a D (with J)
6. 9 P in the SS (this has changed to 8 since the writing of the test)
7. 88 P K
8. 13 S on the A F
9. 32 D F at which W F
10. 18 H on a G C
11. 90 D in a R A
12. 200 D for P G in M
13. 8 S on a S S
14. 3 B M (S H T R)
15. 4 Q in a G
16. 24 H in a D
17. 1 W on a U
18. 5 D in a Z C
19. 57 H V
20. 11 P on a F T
21. 1000 W that a P is W
22. 29 D in F in a L Y
23. 64 S on a C B
24. 40 D and N of the G F
25. 76 T in the B P
26. 50 W to L Y L
27. 99 B of B on the W
28. 60 S in a M
29. 1 H on a U
30. 9 J on the S C
31. 7 B for S B
32. 21 D on a D
33. 7 W of the A W
34. 15 M on a D M C

Scoring: 1-6 correct = average
7-12 correct = somewhat intelligent
13-18 correct = intelligent
19+ correct = genius

Mini Waffles Five Minutes of Fame

February 2008, Vol. 7, Issue 2

1. Benson and Hedges by Paul McGuire
I looked at her arms and wrists. She didn't appear to be a cutter, but she listened to a lot of angry indie chick rock and idolized Ani DiFranco. Her sullenness always bothered me. I wanted to try to talk to her, but it was not easy. She used to sit in her room and drink alone... More

2. Declaration of Independence and Love by Betty Underground
It felt like I had stopped breathing for minutes as he brushed his lips across mine, without touching them. Dusting them like feathers. My head grew light as he teased me. I was frozen. Suffocated by desire... More

3. The Big Empty by Johnny Hughes
Ever time I see Dowd, he gets shorter. Used to be taller than me. They say he puts a drop of honey on everything he eats, and he gets Chinese herbs from a chiropractor... More

4. Squirrel Hunting with Pudddin' Tooth by Clay Champlin
I was merely a hunter trying to kill him before he made it home. Without a word I pointed at the little grey dot bounding across the forest floor. Puddin' Tooth sprung to his feet, and we were off tracking the beast... More

5. Dragon Slayers and the Angry Villagers by Mini Waffles
J and A heard about a war and it was about the angry villagers and the Charlyaters but the angry villagers had to fight to keep their lands. Then they signed up... More

Published by Truckin' Staff

Baddest Beat Ever

No my friends I am not talking about the Patriots. I am instead talking about being about 20K chips away from seeing CK in all her nekkkiiidd splendor. If anyone was listening to Buddy Dank Radio a bet was made by the Asian beauty that I would not be able to win the Skills game. There were around thirty people left and I put up my money for this chance. I almost made it too. I went into HU play with a 120K-20K lead and just could not end it. I came close a few times. I had the 2345 all clubs that never materialized. I had the Aces that got sucked out by two pair on the river. I was so close that I could see those pointy nipples standing up for me but alas it was not to be. The deck went cold and with each player having ten blinds you have to get lucky late. My opponent played well also. I have no regrets about my play. I did well for a novice Stud-8 player and even after paying off my bet took home a nice $75 profit. Not too shabby. Perhaps she will become drunk again and I will get another shot at her hot body, until then I will surf Asian Porn on Pussy.org.

I also won the first HU match against Pirate Lawyer for the HUCVI or whatever the fuck it is. I swept it two straight. The first game I got lucky when I jammed 12 outs on the turn into his two pair. I rivered my flush and all was good.

The next game we both start raising each other on a 9978 board. I was bluffing. He was bluffing. The ten hits the river and he has J7 vs my QJ. That was all she wrote for the Lawyer.

I also won a two table SNG. So my coffers are flush with cash. I will be playing the Big Cash game tomorrow and hopefully I can do my backer proud.. or at least generate some good interest and action for him. I intend to play to the best of my ability against players who are much better at cash than I am. If I get lucky and the cards come I have a shot at making a nice score. If not then it was a great experience to see what it is like to play for some real money. Either way I am pretty excited.

15K Dissapointment

I played in the 15K Event yesterday as I was sitting home waiting for my car tire to be replaced. I am a little disappointed as I was a top ten stack with 100 left and 45 paying spots and did not make the money.

I start the game out by getting three guys all in on a 5J8 two spade flop. I have Fuel's fools gold, one guy has Queens and the third guy has AJ. This gets me to a top five spot with around two hundred left. I have 12K in chips at this time and I add to my lead when my pocket 9's suckout on a 2K shortish stacks AK on a Kxx flop. All the money went in on the flop and I rivered a nine.

I am feeling lucky and good about my chances at this point in time.

The first disaster hand I played badly. It shows that I really need to decide what I am going to do and where I think I stand a lot quicker. I would really like to hear what line people take here and when they decide to either bail or jam this hand. I really get myself in trouble sometimes with pairs. Do you even raise the tens in EP?

I have 14K in chips with the blinds at 150/300. So nice start. I am in early position and I look down to see TT. I raise 900 and get called by one person in the SB. The flop comes Q49 two spades.

I lead out for 1200 and get called. At this point I think I am ahead. No idea why. I do not really have a strong feeling about my opponents hand at this point in time.

The turn is a 3 and I lead out for 2400 and get min-raised to 4800 and call the extra 2400. Here I think I should either decide my tens are good and jam all in or fold. The call is bad. I mean am I looking for a ten? I have no idea.

My opponent pushes all in for her last 5k on the river. I am really confused here. It either means she flopped a monster like a set of queens or AQ or something along those lines or is bluffing at a missed flush. I decide to be cautious and let my hand go here. Not sure if this was the right move either.

Tough hand for me. I think there are a lot of places I could have let this go. I was totally confused for the entire hand and needed to make some sort of decision even if it was the wrong one. I need to work on that. After this hand I am left with almost 8K in chips. A little short of that.

I play fairly tight and get crappy cards and find myself blinded down to 5K with around seventy people left and the blinds at 250/500 with an Ante. So I am on the button and see KJc. Not a strong hand but I have two people left and can pickup an extra 1K. So I jam in for my 5K and I am up against the big blind with QQ. I flop an additional straight draw but nothing materializes and I am now crippled at 1080 chips.

Is this play with KJ a bad move? Did I act too early. Should I have waited until I was down to 8-blinds or less? Some other number? Am I over analyzing this hand? Was it just bad luck.

Finally in position I have 93h and say fuck it maybe I can get into a race and jam my monster hand (Goat says it is!!!) straight into fucking AA! I know this is bad luck. I would have loved to have seen AK but the game was killed by the prior two hands and not this one. I am out in sixty something place in the fifteen kay for zero bucks. I did satellite in so it only cost me six bucks but I am really disappointed.

Any comments are welcome.

I Hate You All

Nuff Said