The Legend of Waffles

I got a nice shout out by my DJ buddy Instant Tragedy. It was kind of fun to hear him at work. The legend of Waffles continues to grow.

DO NOT MISS AlCantHangs Memorial Katitude Donkeyment.



I will be joining Al in the hell that is forty in March of the next year.

I found out my new Warlock Human WoW character who is female wears a thong!!! Ok I need to get laid. She is progressing nicely.. but she has a fatter ass than the Night Elves and she dances.. well.. like a white girl human.. so I guess she fits into the mold she was made for.

Someone asked what is wrong with T9o to a raise.. Nothing at all.. However the mistake MOST people make is playing it too long. If someone raises pre-flop and the board does not make my straight draw or two pair.. I need to proceed CAREFULLY.. when the pre-flop raises leads out and then the turn makes a flush AND puts an ace on the board.. and your willing to call off a bunch of your chips with second pair.. well long term that is losing poker. My opponent made the same error many more times and was busted out very quickly. Post flop play is much more important than pre-flop card selection. If your no good at it then do not play a wide range of cards.

Poker Tilt Remidies and Other Stuff

Fuck poker. Lets talk about other shit. Oh btw -- When I lost last night I did say "bastard" and I want it to be made clear I was not calling LJ a bastard.. as I think she is a fine person.. I was calling poker a bastard!!! Stupid poker. I actually have a great way to not tilt after these disgusting sick suckouts at key time: Go play Warcraft and KILL KILL KILL KILL things!!!!!". It works great.

Kawhoojujuj made me take the nerd test and so I pass the day wasting crap on to you. My results are not unexpected.





I quit yet another WoW guild last night. I really hate guilds. I really hate people so this is not surprising. Some fucktard was saying I did not kill these level 50 elite Dragons solo. I was sort of looking to quit anyways.. but this made a nice excuse. The guild leader while a nice guy is retarded when it comes to raiding. I guess he just likes to rush around and die. I prefer to use some strategy and planning to succeed in raids. Different styles.

The kiddo's are cute as usual. My son has grand plans for "Sportstopia".. the idea the little trump has is that we will pool "OUR" money and buy sports cards and bobble heads and all kinds of sports memorabilia. Of course all of said items will live in his room. Got to give the kid credit for trying.

My daughter uses the more direct approach.

"Daddy, give me money".. Uh huh..
"Um, I know you are freaking adorable but why exactly should I give you money?".. "Because I said so"...
"um, no".. then the pouty face.. "butttt daddy listen to my piggy bank.. hear that?".. "Ummm... no"..
"See daddy it is empty and it needs money".

Of course this works and I throw a few coins her way. I think I am in big trouble. She is only four.

Mookie you Whore

I maintain my inability to beat the bitch called the Mookie. I came very close to cashing last night though. It was 6-max which was an interesting change. I had a good mix of a table with some solid players like Moemdown and Mike Mahoney and some not so solid players. Like the guy who called my bet pre-flop with 9t, flops the 9, calls my turn bet which brings an Ace and a flush.. and well.. donkeys never fold. I would get my money back later.

One funny hand that was interesting was helped by said Donkey. I raised pre-flop against him and when the flop came Axx I figured if I bet his whole stack with ATC he could only call if he had an Ace.. well he had A8.. and I lost that pot but still had plenty of chips. So very next hand I see AK.. and raise it against a solid player. The solid player calls and the flop comes Axx.. So I make the same exact move I has just shown I was capable of knowing the player would not be able to resists calling. He did. This is the thing I like about poker.. the mental aspect.. knowing how someone will react.

Now on to the bad. I played an excellent game the whole way through. Never got in worse than 40-60 for my chips.. and won a couple of those types of coin-flip hands. Three tables are left and thirteen people when I raise Bayne. The fucking whore donkey looks down and sees a lovely AT and jams all his chips in. Thanks for the gift donkeyfucker. His AT is WAYYYYY behind my AK and he is looking for 3-outs.. and of course he wins. Cause he is a lucksack and me not so much. Cockrag. Fucking people who overplay A-weak should be shot. That is such a fucking HUGE leak it is not even funny.

So I survive that and I double up playing aggressive poker when I jam my K5 into A4 and win that coin flip hand vs the infamous Lefty. I get moved to the queen of all suckboxes table LJ!!! I raise her blind and she jams all in with Q7.. and guess what people.. I have her bent over the table ready for penetration with my QT... until the fucking flop hits Q7.. Two fucking hands where I have my opponents dominated to hell and I go out of the Mookie out of the money. Who says poker was a skill game? So sick. I think they need to relabel the word domination. Call it like "I am in a little trouble but if I am a lucksack I will win so you can't really call it domination now can you.. tee hee.".. Ok, maybe that is a little long... but you get the point. So fucking sick.

I Miss Carmen! Wahh!

Heh. I got used to chatting with the hottie every day. This new job has GOT to go. Oh well..

I am thinking of rolling the other blogs back into this one. On the bad side you have to read about exercise and Warcraft.. on the good side.. I do not write daily in those blogs. On the extra good side: I can torture you with endless stories of my destruction of Elite Dragons! WOOT!

Is this what Al's nights look like?



The WoW game allows you to drink until you can not drink anymore. Besides effecting your stats in fighting it also eventually makes you see blurry and I am not sure if you blackout but possibly. They call it the AlCantHang module of WoW. If you have not read about Pauly and Al storming Florida your an idiot. Please go now. It is excellent writing and funny as hell. Al wrote some stuff too.

Remind me to ask him how he found a wonderful woman who does not mind reading about his strip club antics. One of a kind. Too many people in this world are way too untrusting.. and a little fun at a strip club does not mean anything. It is refreshing to see a relationship that is that solid.

Actually back to WoW.. if you want to read some really funny shit read the thread that picture came from. Funny stuff. A couple of guilds got drunk and tortured a guy by trapping him over and over again while he tried to escape. So now in the forum the guild this guy belongs to has vowed a blood feud with the offending parties. I am still laughing.

Sexual Advice Waffles Style

I am a total pro here guys.. plus not a lot of poker this weekend as I was busy kicking the shit out of TWO level 50 ELITE dragons with my level 48 hunter. Booyah! So I figured I would comment on this Article I found via Fark..

10 biggest sex mistakes men and women make. Forgetting to take the condom off before returning home to your wife surprisingly absent from list.

It was pointing to an Article on MSNBC about the Today show.

Disclaimer: I may say fuck cunt slut whore bondage anal rape or any other combination of sexual words to boost ratings and garner more ad revenue.

1. Women don’t understand why men don’t like to cuddle.

Ian: After sex, men return to the pre-aroused state, women return to a semi-aroused state. For guys it’s a total system shutdown. We just want to crash, whereas women want to connect, cuddle, converse, even have more sex. Women shouldn’t assume that a guy is insensitive if he’s more inclined to snore than snuggle. He’s probably just shattered. Think of it as a compliment to the sex you just had.

Fuck ya bitch! I shot my load into you and now it is time for me to go to sleep. If you were lucky I also let you have an orgasm.. Ok for me this is a MUST because I sure am not getting action from my looks alone. Got to give the ladies something to come back for. So anyway check this response out..

Tracey: I disagree with this. I think men do like to cuddle! They’re just worried their partner might see it as weak and them as vulnerable. I think a lot of the time a man suggests sex, what they’re really after is the physical closeness a cuddle would provide

What the fuck are you arguing about bitch? Like you know shit? Shut the fuck up! Let the guy with the PENIS talk. Jesus your a fucktard. I will tell you one thing. Guys do like to cuddle. However NOT just after we blew a load all over your face. No. We want to enjoy our triumphant moment with SLEEP. So get over to the wet spot and shut the fuck up about snuggling. If you want to put your arm over my sleeping body feel free. When I snore into your ear do not take it personally. It means you did a great job. I am satisfied. Talk about snuggling later when I want to get laid again.

2. Women don’t understand the extent to which performance anxieties, self-esteem issues and body-image issues all affect male sex drive.

Ian: Absolutely. Guys have many of the same issues as women when it comes to sex: feeling out of shape, unattractive, not wanting to be seen naked during sex. I worked with one guy who always had to rush to put on his boxers after sex and could never cuddle naked. His wife didn’t know what was going on. Turned out he felt very “smallish” after sex.

Tracey: Men aren’t robots. They’re humans and worry about the same stuff females do. Also there’s pressure on men to provide good sex to women. They expect a lot from men in bed these days, and often expect men to be mind readers, rather than tell them what they want. I’m not surprised men get anxious and their libido dips.

Ok. I think both of these fuckers were smoking crack on this one. I mean just because you found one fucking retard that is probably gay that wants to put his boxers on after sex does not mean we are all retarded. Shut the fuck up Ian. How the hell can I feel unattractive when I am doing the nasty with some chick in bed? This is my triumphant moment! I am KING! She is moaning and screaming and begging for more. If I feel anything it is GOD LIKE!!!!!

3. Women think that men are always ready and willing to have sex any time, any place.

Ian: No way. As relationships progress over time, women can’t assume that guys are Pavlovian dogs that want to have sex every time you ring the bell. The mental turn-on becomes more crucial than the physical turn-on, and sexual desire begins in the brain, not the groin.

Tracey: They do! And they get all upset if he doesn’t get an instant erection just by looking at her! It’s true that young men probably are ready, willing and able at any point, but once a guy moves into his 20s, the pressure mounts in other areas of his life, like career, and he’s as capable of getting distracted by life’s problems as she is!

Hello? In his 20s? What the fuck are you talking about bitch! Of course we want it all the time! Here is a clue: As soon as we do not want it all the time it is time to find a new bitch!!!! Jesus. I would thought you would have learned that by now. I am fucking almost Fourty years old and I want it all the time with the exception of just after I had it and then I just want to sleep.

I do agree that sex is all about the mental though. Ian is correct about that. So surf some freaky ass porn sites and figure out some freaky deaky things to do with your woman. It will keep the sex fresh and mentally stimulating. It will also help empower you by seeing all the shit you whore bag is willing to do. Trust me guys. You will not be disappointed.

Anyway.. as fun as this was.. I will let you read the rest of the article yourself. One thing I am not sure of from the article is who the hell are Ian and Tracy? I mean what makes these fuckers experts? Have they logged 10 million hours of porn? Do they even know what sex is? I have no idea where they get these people. Here is to hoping I play some poker tonight.

SNGs and Black People

First off still cranking away at the Feurg. Actually this is kind of fun.. I remember when I first started playing poker and was a little more bankroll stable.. I used to enjoy mentioning the "Next" big level of LHE I was going to play.. So pretty soon I will be announcing the FIVE DOLLAH level of SNGs! WOW! I am a big boy now.

I cranked through a 9-peep SNG last night as well as a HU match and went 2-0 with a first place finish in the SNG.. So I should hit the 100-mark pretty soon. The SNG was funny. I was a little tired so on an early hand I see a board of K447 and I am holding KQ. The board had 3-diamonds so I am like whatever lets just push.. and I jam and the slow played flush calls... and the river is........... a King! Yes!!!! You really have to make stupid moves to be lucky.

From that point on I held first place throughout the whole game. I did not lose a coin flip and I won my share of dog races.. like the guy who on the bubble kept jamming all in pre-flop when I limped in the blinds.. I have 7K in chips to his 2K. So I limp my KT and call his jam. He happens to have A6.. and I win.. But if your going to jam every time I limp you have to expect me to call and if you get unlucky your out.

I went HU in the SNG with a 11K-1K lead and first hand I call an all in with T7 and this time I am ahead of 96 and win the game.

On to the blacks. Is that a racist term? I dunno. I will state right now I am not a racist person.. I hate everyone equally and you can all go fuck yourselves. Now to continue.. What is up with this Jenna-6 thing? I totally agree that the prosecutors went for charges that were ridiculous and the white kids should have been more severely punished for what they did but calling to free people who beat a kid until he was unconscious? I am all for a fair punishment but just saying "Awww, let's free these poor kids" is mind boggling. I get the whole American law system is unfair thing. I totally agree. We need to change that. Letting scumbags who would beat a kid UNCONSCIOUS though seems to be setting a dangerous precedence. So does that make me a whitey hater? Oh well. I can live with that.

While were on the subject I saw an idiot on the train in Boston with a Free Juice sign. WTF! This guy has.. let's be nice about it.. "Anger Management" problems.. He just has no impulse control.. I should know. I am an expert. I just do not get rallying behind people like this. Why don't you rally behind some good roll models or something? I dunno..

Anyway.. on tonights schedule I think I might play the Katitude Donkeyment at 9. Password: I dunno go to her site and get it. Jesus you people can do nothing for yourselves. I think it might be fun.. but I am only playing if Kat is there. It just is not the same without a leather dressing biker chick.

Bodog Its the Life

Breaking News hot off the wire: Bodog is now http://www.bodoglife.com. However wait a second! Is this true? Or is it a scam? I received this email today from service@emailet.newbodog.com.. However how do I know this is the REAL Bodog and not someone trolling for passwords???? My My what a mess Bodog has gotten into over this Domain thing.. Anyway.. this is the email I received. I take no responsibility for its accuracy.. I leave that to real reporters.. possibly Smokkee knows.. he has been sucking their cocks pretty hard lately? So is this the new site my man?

---

This is Bodog. This is the Life.

Bodog is pleased to announce the launch of our permanent new home www.bodoglife.com.

Although the Bodog Web address is changing for good, you likely won't notice many other changes at all; same great site, just a new address.

Bodog recently released a temporary site as a quick solution to a dispute related to our domain name www.bodog.com. We reacted fast so you could continue enjoying the hottest site on the Net with no interruption in play. Today's move to www.bodoglife.com represents our permanent solution to this situation.

However, the bottom line is at Bodog, it is business as usual.

We're still the most trusted place on the planet to get your kicks, whether it's poker, casino or sports betting.

This is Bodog. This is the life.

bodoglife.com - http://www.bodoglife.com

If you have any questions, contact Bodog Customer Service at service@bodoglife.com or call 1-888-263-0000 or European Customer Service +800-1004-2004.

Calvin Ayre, Bodog Founder

Software Updates: Follow these links to download new software to play in the Poker Room or at the Bodog Casino.

Are You Missing Out Marshall?

We want to stay in touch, but only in ways you find helpful and of value. If you're not already a subscriber to Bodog's email subscriptions, you're missing out on some incredible special offers, promotions and giveaways. Login to your account (1443020) and update your Bodog email subscriptions today.

We respect your privacy and have a zero-tolerance policy against sending you unsolicited email. You can opt-out at any time.

---

Goals

The past few days have seen little poker and bad results. By bad I mean 1-1, 1-1, and 2-2. Solid. Break even. Losing to the rake. HU poker. I am not sure if I am becoming bored and making some more interesting plays or what. Either that or its just a good stretch of ole variance. I do remember many of the loses on hands such as A3 all in pre-flop getting called by T5 but it was fucking s0000ted motherfucker. Five on the turn seals my fate. Other ri-dick-ulous plays and probably a little loose calling by me have contributed to other loses.

I hover at like $88 at the moment.. up from $2 a week or so ago.. I wish to attain the illusive $100 mark so I can play some *gasp* 5 dollah HU!!!! I think goals are the ruination of many a poker player though.. you tend to push to hit that goal and stop doing what got you there in the first place. Indifference is your friend. Really it is.

Nothing else to report.. the weather was cool enough to keep the cleavage indoors. I did see some thonged feet and even though they were pretty feet naked feet < naked cleavage everyday.

In Todays News..

A man died in an Internet cafe after a three day bender of playing video games. Fucking amatures. Jesus.. I have had bankroll busting sessions longer than that.. chasing the loses. This is just an example of Darwin in action. Weeding out the weak players from the strong. Sorry dude. Game over.

Annette Obrestad has gone where no man, or woman, has gone before. Up my asshole? No wait. That is a different story.. anyways.. I think a big titty slut like Brandi Hawbaker winning the WSOPE would be much better for poker. It would bring more big titty sluts to the table. How dare this average looking genius of a kid poker player win. All kidding aside good job!

Speaking of big titties since I am on the subject it is a wonderful 64 degrees here today and all the young sluts in training have removed their clothing and made my commute very enjoyable. Thank you all so very much. I would like to love each and every one of you.. err.. I mean, well you know..

I did play a little poker last night.. going 2-2... one of the games was brutal. I had to leave and so I wanted to finish it up quick.. So I started jamming. I got all my money in with A3o and was called by T5h. I lost. It brings up and interesting fact though: Aggressive play in HU is NOT the way to go. At least in my opinion I can get my money in as a MUCH better favorite than 66%.. and I want to win more than 2-1 to make HU profitable.. I really need to win 5 or 6-1 if possible... to be wildly profitable.. Ok, technically winning 2-1 is profitable but you can do so much better. I much prefer to play post flop and get my opponent drawing to very few outs. While this does not guarantee a victory it gives me a much better chance to hit my goal of 6-1.

For tonight it is work, work, work, work.. blah.

Boring

Being responsible is boring. I am doing the Feurgy thing but I think I have nothing to write about. I mean ok I took 2 bucks and turned it into 91 in 1 week. SO who gives a fuck? I fully admit 50 was from Advertising but 2 to 41 in two weeks is pretty good.. especially since I have not been playing much. I have had 3 sessions where I went like 20-3 (in total) which helps a bunch.. No hugely losing sessions yet either knock on wood.. But I dunno... being good is boring. Jesus does not get commercials cause he is nice and quiet and unassuming.. Think of all the good no-name professionals like Cunningham who just play poker. Boring. Oh well..

Nice Weekend

Smokkee said...
nothing can stop the Chargers.

Right as usual Smokkee.. I think the Patriots cheated though. They put no-block powder on the Defence, and Cant-Tackle tape on their hands. I think they also used slow-as-shit on the pass defense and who knows what they did to the offense. Either that or they are just better than most other teams. Nah must be cheating.

I am totally for the Patriots losing a draft pick though. Even if every other team in the league cheats and you know they do.. if you get caught you have to pay the price.

The Fergey continue slowly.. I got some poker in this weekend but not a whole lot. Had a mixed weekend with a pretty break even run. I may be getting bored. I dunno. I did end the weekend up another six bucks though so the challenge stands at $32 at the moment..

Not much else to say.

Car Accident

Nobody hurt. Thank goodness. The sexy play toy of my fantasies AKA the nanny was driving the kids around and some retard pulls out and hits her in the side of the tire. He is then totally fucking rude, does not ask if anyone is ok, and tries to blame her for getting hit on the side of the car when he had a fucking stop sign. Piece of shit motherfucker. He lives in my town.. I am so tempted to go burn his house down or kill his dog. Alas I will keep my Michael Vick tendencies in check.. its cultural you know.. and just fume to you my loyal readers.

Played some HU last night and today.. got the roll over the 30-mark. Did not play very well today and went 5-4 or something. Just kinda gambooling when I did not have to. Last night I played very well and still went like 5-3.. The hand I knew I had to leave for the night was sick sicks sick.. first I get the guy all in with AA vs AK and he four flushes me then with my scraps I get all in AK vs A8 and get sent home. Poker Off. Warcraft on. Kill Donkeys.

Britney Spears

Jesus Christ people.. Britney looks fine and healthy. What the fuck do you want all your women showing their ribs and looking like fucking rejects from an Ethiopian diet factory. Ok I have no idea what that means. She looked really great. We really do not need another generation of young women puking till their teeth fall out. All these fat fucking ugly people telling Britney she is fat should just shut the fuck up.

Patriots

Broke Back Furgey

Looks like a ton of people are doing the Furgey. The basic premise is to taking small amounts of dollars and prove that you can run them up to 10K or more in a short amount of time (6 months). I have read a bunch of people trying this out with varying results. I am kinda doing this now myself. So far I have about 6 sessions under my belt. I have been mostly playing HU SNGs and my results have been good. I have run my initial stake up from $2 to $26.. and I get an free influx of cash from advertising soon which will jump it up to $75. Here are some of Furgey's guidelines as published on Full Tilt.

He never buys into a cash game or a Sit & Go with more than 5 percent of his total bankroll (there is an exception for the lowest limits: he is allowed to buy into any game with a buy-in of $2.50 or less).


So this limits me to 3.25 buyin games, at $100 I can start playing $5 games.

He doesn’t buy into a multi-table tournament for more than 2 percent of his total bankroll, but he’s allowed to buy into any multi-table tournament that costs $1.


This severely limits the MTTs I can play and puts them off the play list until we reach the $250 mark. It is sort of a shame since I think MTTs are a strong point of mine.

If at any time during a No-Limit or Pot-Limit cash-game session the money on the table represents more than 10 percent of his total bankroll, he must leave the game when the blinds reach him.


This one is interesting. So he plays cash with a stop win limit. I have heard many different opinions on this.. I doubt I am going to play any $5 cash tables.. who knows, maybe.. but basically once you double up you have to leave. hmmm.

Is anyone else attempting the challenge? I looked at his graphs and the first four months are the hardest.. once he go a toe hold and hit around $500 he was able to skyrocket his bankroll very quickly to 10K. I assume this is because his game is very strong and as he moved up he did very well against the fields of semi-retarded people. I have no idea if you should expect the same results especially in just six months. It may be a little high to shoot for someone who is not a poker professional.

Comments?

Real Poker

It is funny but I think I have to mention this. I really hate writing about poker because it is stupid and everything depends on perspective and conditions. However I have been enjoying my foray into small stakes poker. Especially like playing HU matches. The reason for this is obviously not the money but because THESE ARE REAL POKER GAMES.

What do I mean by this? How many times have you played the Mookie or the MATH and just cruised through the game. Looking down at your jacks and not really having a read on the guys push but calling because hell Jacks R Ok.

In smaller stakes full table games I find myself vegging out. I just do not find the game interesting enough or something. However playing HU you really are playing against one player. This allows you to focus all of your energy on picking up tells from that player. Detecting his style of play, what his bets mean, all of the things that are REAL POKER.

I have to admit I am enjoying the hell out of it. The last time I really had a good time was when I used to play with Fuel, ScottyMc, MiamiDon and the guys at the 1/2 tables. I think my motivation there was to prove I was as good as these guys. I have a lot of respect for certain players and I focused like I probably always should. It is harder to focus on a large group of player but I felt motivated to do so. It turned out to make the game very very interesting and fun. The money was high enough that while it was still pretty worthless it meant a little something. The competition was great. I was able to pickup tells and signs and really play to my full potential. It was an amazing time.

So if you have not played a lot of HU poker I really suggest you give it a try. Instead of pushing in with your slight edges pre-flop or jamming every flush draw I challenge you to see every single flop you can. If the guy raises pre-flop decide on your own if you should play the hand but try and see a bunch of flops. Just do not get in a hole by calling every raise. Let the guy do some betting.. make a few SMALL calls when you are pretty sure he has you beat.. So you can lookup the guy. Get a bead on him. Figure out what it all means. Then dominate the fuck out of him. You still will lose to the suckout and bad play. However you should be able to focus on changing your game based on your opponent and take advantage of the information you have collected.

You should find yourself making more marginal calls and being right. You should be able to figure out when you can raise the guy on a bluff and have him fold. Because you have probed his defenses when the blinds were lower and now you KNOW what he will do. How much pressure to apply. When to bluff. Totally owning a person in poker is the best feeling in the world. Well... ok.. there may be better feelings but it is pretty good.

Fucking Anonymous Whore Rags

I hate losing to them. I guess it is good I have a 13-2 streak going.. but the last game was BRUUUTAL.. I get the guy to commit his entire stack with Aces on the turn vs my 2 pair and he rivers the fucking 2nd pair..... and then the cocksucker calls my all in with K4 vs my A4 and my streak is over. Fucker.

On the good side of things I was able to spank LJ. The funny part is I was playing random HU games and we just by accident got into the same game when she was trying to play Bayne. The game actually ended on a cooler. I think I would have won anyway as I was playing well and bluffing at the right times.. but LJ flopped the 2nd nut straight vs my nut straight and she slow played me.. while I fast played my straight and all the money got in with her thinking she was ahead. Obviously you go broke here HU every time. If I had her hand I go broke. So we are 1 and 1 lifetime.

We were also talking about the NYC games and I think I might have to get down there sometime.. Jordon will let me crash with him right buddy? Anyway.. I need to go do that. It is not very far. I really really want to do a Bloggers across the USA tour but I think I have to hit the lottery first.

Later.

Whats going on..

Busy busy busy.. Still working a ton.. although I missed 80 hours this week. Pretty close though..

In other news..

There are friends:

I think of you as bi-sexual but so ugly probably rejected by both sexes
-- Bayne

Then there are friends like Pauly who send me Waffles pictures from around the world. Ha! Sweet. I got my London Waffles a few days ago. If I ever win the WSOP maybe I can get a sponsorship deal with Eggo? Go read Truckin' if you have not also.

Speaking of old school peeps are any of you tards coming in December?

My daughter started school today. The commute is awesome.. she just goes downstairs. We are keeping her at home for Kindergarten because the other options all suck. She has one other class mate who is attending the Waffles Home School. I will begin teaching them Poker 101 next week.

Speaking of Poker I am having an enjoyable time with my crumbs. I have been playing low stakes HU matches. I like to imagine that this is the last few dollars these people have and I am dashing their hopes and dreams. It makes it so much more interesting that way. My record so far is 9-1. Not bad.

I have cursed Football teams across the nation with my selections.. check some of this Waffles luck out:

Sep 10 Jason King, of the Kansas City Star, reports Kansas City Chiefs RB Larry Johnson recorded just 43 yards rushing on 10 carries Week 1, his third-lowest rushing output as a starter.

Sep 10 The injury suffered by Jacobs Sunday has been preliminarily diagnosed as a sprained MCL in his right knee, the Daily News reports. He will undergo an MRI Monday.

McNabb said he felt fine after the game, but he looked little like last year's version, when his play was MVP-caliber. He was only sacked once but was under constant pressure and did face an emerging defensive unit in Green Bay.

At least I picked San Diego Defence! Sorry Smokkee there goes your teams entire year!!!!

That is all. Return to your normal boring work day.

Everytime..

It is funny but every time I think about shutting down the blog I find some new people in the comments who seem interesting and kind of inspire me to keep it going.. the Judesalems (If your husband is reading this I mean the other Judesalem) and BWOP's (Omatard) of the world keep this place going.. not to mention that it would not be the same ribbing Jordon (Hey BT gimme your bankroll so I can show you how to play) or slamming Jeciimd's (You totally agree with me admit it) tight play if I did not have the blog.. I guess this monstrosity may last for a very long time..

Tonight is going to be special. As much as I complain about my work and all the hours I put in.. tonight is when it pays off.. as I will be getting paid to watch football.. Ok, I may have to type a few URL's in and write some notes during commercials but primarily I will have the laptop on my lap and the TV on the game and get paid for watching football.. ok, ok, I will have to work a little.. but that is what commercials are for right? Sometimes I love this job!

Working my Ass Off

Sorry for the lack of posts.. I have had zero time for Poker, War Craft or anything else. I have been logging a nice 80 hours a week for the past week and it does not seem like it is going to let up anytime soon.. While it is nice to double my paycheck every week I am extremely tired and have very little time to do anything. Ah well.

I am working too hard..

Worked the whole weekend. Yay Money! However I know I have been working too hard. You know how I know? I fell asleep last night and had a dream that I was in Don's van.. but it was not really Don's van it was more like the classic druggy mobile in Fast Time as Ridgemont High.. Anyways.. I am asleep and Chad comes up to me. Except he has a beard and he starts hugging me and tickling me.. in a manly way of course.. umm. that is wayyyy too fucked up.. blecck.. I wish they made soap for your brain.

Here is a question for you all on Net Etiquette. I have my lard ass fat blog and I posted this link to NSFW pics of fat people. I copied one of the pictures from his post and linked back to his site saying "Enjoy the list from.." and posted his site name and URL.

So today I get a comment on the post:

Spidey said...

Looks like you ripped the photo from my blog...Enjoy, but try to give props.

Also on his blog I get the following comment..

Spidey said...

Stop ripping off the photos from my blog and then posting them on yours. Talk about a pack mentality! At least say thank you. It takes time to find all those pictures and rip them off of other people's blogs and websites.

So I respond in my natural gentile way:

Fuck off spidey I gave a full fucking URL link to you and sent people to your blog. What the fuck else do you want????!?!?!?! A fucking medal for stealing someone else's picture and posting it??? I gave you full props by linking to your site.. jesus..fuck it I will just delete the post and tell any readers to never go to your site.

Am I right or did I break some unwritten net etiquette rule? I really think if someone is trying to send traffic your way you should appreciate it not act like a fucking retard. Anyhow.. I really could care less but this guy seems like a fucking donkey. I bet he is 900 pounds and is self conscience about everything hence the stupid ass response. Well fuck you again Spidey you cock rag.

Stupid Meme

I hate these goddamn things but when someone picks me out of the millions of people on the planet to pass one on to I figure I probably should answer their stupid questions. I figured I would give this a shot like a normal human being then I remembered I have no idea what a normal human is like.. sooo...

Accent- Who the hell cares. I am an equal opportunity hater. I hate all you fuckers regardless of race, color, accent, or sexual preference. I do have a fond place in my pocket for English ladies accents though..

I Don't Drink - Much. I am mostly a social drinker and since I am not very social well there ya go.. Actually my father was an Alcoholic when I was a very small child and while I am not sure that turned me off of booze I never really drank at a constant pace.

The most drunk I have ever been though was at a party when I was 19 or 20.. I know I should have known better. I smoked a couple of bones, chugged a whole bottle of Bacardi.. drank a dozen beers and had a couple of shots of whisky. Now while this is the warm up for AlCantHangs night if you know me I can get Coyote Fugly drunk on like two beers.

I ended up puking for 12 hours straight the next day while my good "friend" cruised around in my Mustang "getting me stuff at the CVS".. fucker..

Chore I Hate - All of them. I refuse to clean. When I was single the sign it was time to move to the next apartment was that I "HAD" to clean the toilet. Lucky for me I usually had roommates and did not reach critical mass too often.

Pets - I had a dog when I was little. His name was Charlie and he was a basset hound. He howled up a storm and fucked my sister's leg every chance he got. SO one day my parents took Charlie back "To the farm".. it took my Mom 26 years to admit there was no farm. It took me 25 years and a wife to figure out there was no farm.

I had two cats growing up: Smitty named after the Phillies player Mike Schmidt. Spookie and Orange tabby. They both lived a very long time. I rescued Smitty from some asshole kids who were throwing him up against a screen door. Their cat had a bunch of kittens. My mom said "No Cats".. and so I lowered a Halloween pumpkin to the ground level, went downstairs, put him in, and brought him up to my room. I fed him milk from my pinky. He was a good kitty. My mom found out I snuck him in of course but she was a pussy and gave in and let me keep him.

We have two cats we just adopted from a shelter.. Vanilla and Angel. They lived together at their old place. We also have fish and my son has had a few frogs.

I have had a turtle, frog and a bird before. See above about chores. My turtle ended up stewing in his acidic water. Oops. I did not know how to take care of him. I caught him at a pond like the frog and brought him home.

My bird named Tweety rocked. As a kid I really hated my Grandmother for some reason.. Not sure why.. maybe cause she smelled old.. man I have some Karma coming back at me.. anyways.. Tweety would get out of his cage and fly into my Grandmothers newly down hairspray hairdo and get stuck scaring the living shit out of my Grandmother. It was the balls!

Essential Electronic - Computers. Computers. Computers. I have been a nerd for them since I was 13 and I doubt I am going to change now.

Perfume/Cologne - Fuck no. What the hell? I hate fucking guys who splash on huge tanks of Cologne. It is usually some Guido with chains and back hair doing it.. but fuck does it make me want to choke. The ole Irish Spring deodorant is enough for me. I do like some scents from women but I can not tell you the names and I am very picky.

Gold or silver - Platinum! My wedding band is actually made of Platinum. We liked it better than the gold and silver options for its ability to last and look good long after the marriage is over.

Insomnia - Fuck ya! I have Sleep Apnia actually but I can never get to bed before 2AM.. and I am always fucking tired. Sucks balls to never get a good nights sleep.

Job Title - God Emperor of Earth!!! Ohh what theyyyy call me.. I guess computer consultant. I work for my self essentially and line up contracts with different companies for computer services mostly with Microsoft technologies.. but I am a generalist and I like to do a little of everything.

Most Admired Trait - I guess openness.. there is not a thing I will not talk about and it is hard to offend me. Probably cause I am always pissed off. I like to argue a lot too. Just for the fun of it though. I never keep any hard feelings.

Kids - Two of them.. Five and Eight. God they keep getting older. It is actually pretty cool. I really love them a ton.

Religion - I was raised without religion. Sure we celebrated Christmas and hanukkah but we never went to church or synagog. Technically I inherited Jewish I guess. My dad was some sort of baptist or something but not religious. I dabbled in religion for a while growing up. My first experiences in Church consisted of turning the holy water green with my life saver and knocking down the kneeling thingy to make a loud BOOOOOOM! in the middle of the Sermon.. I was part of a church youth group for a while too.. It was fun and I could quote large chunks of the bible at the time. I consider myself searching for the truth now because I am not happy with the way humans portray the desires of our deities in any religion.

Siblings - Sister. Please take her. We are a little different. She steals from her family and has babies without a dad and well I don't.. There are other differences.. I just really think she is a tard and want nothing to do with her for the most part. It was fun teasing her for a year about almost going to jail for running up charges on my credit card. My entire family was begging me to drop the charges but I would not. She got out of it somehow though.. I think my parents paid off the creditors.. probably with there life savings.. my sister is a tard like I said and could care less.

Time I wake up - No set time. When your a talented consultant that people want you can get away with a ton of shit.. and I get away with it all..

Unusual talent/skill - Well I am not as talented as Carmen's tongue.. man that is hot.. but I can make a dog/dragon out of my fingers.. it has a mouth and ears.. pretty cool..

Vegetable I refuse to eat - Little Suzy in the wheelchair down the street? No just kidding.. no legs is hot! I like pretty much everything but Squash and Beets kinds suck.. I think those are veggies right?

Worst habit - Sometimes I eat my beard hair.. ick.. My wife came home one day from work and told me about this freak who did it.. and I was like no fucking way that is so gross.. and then some sub-conscience trick made me try it and so sometimes if I am stressed out I will absent mindedly do it.. Ick..

X-rays - I was MR. Accident as a kid.. 2 Broken Arms, Broken Skull, Numerous lacerations.. probably like 8 times I had to go and get stitches. I was a wreck.

My favorite meal - Fuck I love them all thats why I started my fucking obese blog.. As a meal I will say Sushi. I am a big seafood fan and like it either fried or raw. Next would be some nice hot spicy thai food.. One of my favorites is Squid Pik Pow! MMM! Spicy. Hot. Squid!

Well that is all.. not too offensive this time. Of course that will only encourage these foolish meme people..

I think I caught Stupid from Blinders

Before I get to the title.. My vote for AlCantHang bacon winner is Mary hands down. I mean this gives all new meaning to debauchery.. fucking your chick while eating the fried bacon off her body.. WOW! Gimme some bacon!!!

Ok.. So anyway.. I am back to almost broke which is cool.. I am currently crushing the 2$ HU n000bs.. heh. At least it is fun. Since I caught the stupid bug from Blinders let me ask this question: When is Poker actually ever profitable?

Now this could mean a lot of different things to a lot of people but what level do you need to play to make any kind of meaningful money... I know some of you work at S-Mart.. Shop Smart.. Shop S-Mart! But.. If you have a decent job then when does this poker thing become profitable. I mean we say that making 5/bb hr is pretty good in poker right? SO at 1/2 NL your talking 10 bucks an hour? Did I do the math wrong? 2/4 jump way up to 20/hr.. umm.. hello.. am I still a fucking n00b who just graduated college? Do I really care to make entry level money.. So to make any real money are we jumping up to like the 10/20 game?

Ok.. Now we are talking some good money.. I can live on 80/hr.. but is my expected win rate going to be 5bb/hr at higher levels? Is it just as 'tarded as the low levels? I am pretty sure it is not. MOST decent players probably will never be able to play this high.. so is it worth playing poker for monetary reasons if you actually have a good job? Seems kind of stupid.

So what is a good reason to play if building a bankroll is never going to be a hugely profitable endeavored? Hit the lotto in a big tourney? Fun? Meet people? Suckout on the river? Hmmm.. Maybe Veneno has it right after all...