Free Money

I think I am going to go down to Foxwoods this Saturday. Need a poker fix. Besides if Josie can win money anyone can right? Anyone else going? Wanna go? Peace.

In Which We Learn People Watching Is Dangerous

I have been doing a lot of people watching lately. I assume if you watch enough people then perhaps you can become a person yourself. Not working so far.

The Hancock building is great for this. It has mirrored glass windows. You are able to see out perfectly but people can not see in very well. At time I swear the chicks know I am staring at them though. It must be my huge brain sending out telepathic signals "I want to lick an olive out of your ass".. Otherwise maybe they just get this cold shiver down their spine. Like in horror movies.

It is fun to people watch anyways. You see all kinds of people. I swear this humongous guy is a warning from god. The last two days I have seen him he was wearing the same shirt as me albeit 50x larger.

Today I got some bad Karmic payback for my evil people watching ways though. This old lady pulls up in front of the window. I swear her rats nest hair made her look like a relative of Crusty the Clown. She stops at the window with her beer gut hanging out and proceeds to "straighten" her hair. Seriously killed my boner. I then laughed and thought to myself "Well, at least it can not get any worse".. and as if on key she immediately starts cleaning her teeth in the window with her finger. I think she picked her nose afterwards too. It is fun being Waffles. Peace.

Checking In

Life still sucks. I am still alive. Perhaps Don and I can share a bunk. Peace.

They Do Exist?

If you see a young woman on the train, with a hoola-hoop, high heels, shorts, and a tee-shirt, fine ass legs, do you immediately think stripper? Have I finally seen one of these illusive creatures in the wild?

You Might Be Pessimistic If..

If you get a fortune cookie that says "All your problems will end soon" and you assume it means you are going to die are you pessimistic?

Synopsis of Synopsis

If you have not been keeping up make sure you read Synopsis of Hoyazo. If your REALLY busy you can read Synopsis of Synopsis of Hoyazo brought to you by the always droll Julius Goat.

Since I am shilling shit you might as well read my Tao of Fear posts. It is the end of the world I tell you!

Sorry no Dancing Ooompah Loompah Goombahs today.

Oh My

When you weigh 300 pounds what possesses you to wear a mini skirt? Not only a mini skirt but one that is bright orange. I think HR should enact the "If you look like a fucking orange blimp your fired" rule. I will never be able to scrub my eyes clean.

Getting old sucks. I think my ass has picked up the idea that farting is a mating call.. so I need to keep an eye on it when I am in the elevator alone with a chick. Peace.

Some Days..

Things remind me of Josie.

How does a curmudgen celebrate 4th

I ended up going swimming with the kids. I was going to bail out and I actually said I was not going.. but then I thought about it and decided I should.

The pool was free which was an extra bonus. It was a fun time. The boy is really getting good at swimming. I taught him how to back float and tread water well. We swam out to the 9-ft depth and he even did a lap. I was really proud of him. He was exhausted at the end of the lap though. We were "racing".. except I just floated on my back until he got close then did a couple strokes to get ahead.

While out in the 9ft area he told me to do a hand-stand. So I have to go ahead and show off.. I go to the bottom and get my hand-stand going and all of the sudden I pull a muscle in my leg. I mean swimming is supposed to be relaxing, non-stress activity for the body right? From the responses I have had to people I have told this to I assume I am the only person to ever pull a leg muscle swimming.

I was a little pissed. The boy stood in line to pass the deep swimming test. Pretty much they let everyone pass who does not drown in the deep end. Unfortunately the boy got some cunt who was a stickler for form and she failed him because she thought he was stretching too far in his crawl stroke. Unfuckingbelievable.

He was totally bummed out and called her a few names. I told him I was proud of his swimming though. He really did a great job. I was impressed.

Once I got home I crashed and fell asleep. I then had to pick the Au Pair up at 12:30. She was coming back from the Fireworks in Boston. I ended up being wired and not getting to sleep until 3AM... which made my arrival time today somewhere around 11AM. Blah.

Josie got kidnapped by hippy bikers this weekend. Sounds like fun. Peace.

Sears, Not So Bad

I am starting to think that I might be a negitive person. I was reading things about being positive and how a negitive attitude draws negativity to you. It seems true. Take today for instance. I bought a Lawn Mower from Sears. Second time I used it the thing starts to studder and almost stall. I decide I do not want to deal with this crap so I decide to return it.

I assume this is going to be a tough thing to do. Driving to the Sears I played the whole thing out in my mind to the point where I was coming back from the car with the gallon of gasoline, pouring it on the sales associate, and burning him while evily chuckling. Over a lawn mower.

I think this kind of thinking tires you out too. I mean you have to live through every fight even if they never happen.

It turns out Sears was pretty awesome. The idiots cheat on their wait queue and mark you as "helped" before they even come out.. wayyyy before they ever come out. Besides that minor issue it was easy. Scan my reciept in at recieving. The guy comes out. Does not even ask what is wrong with the mower. Takes it back. Gives me a pocket full of cash. Good times.

I kept telling myself on the way home I should be more positive. I would then drive past some Lance Armstrong wannabe on is bike and call him a fucking moronic faggot. Not exactly positive. Also giving the finger to the old guy who told me to slow down was not helpful.

Thinking about this did give me a smile.. well, if you call a small your lips being in a straight line... hey, small steps.. Peace.

So It Begins..

So it begins. I may have editorialized a little bit. Sue me. I am just getting back into the synopsis.

What a fucking math genius Hoyazo must be to come to the conclusion that because a small group of people only won one bracelet at the WSOP (included in his sample size is a person who is not even playing) that they are distracted by legal matters and playing sub-par. I would almost bet you money that any 6 person sample size in the WSOP that has one bracelet is actually an unfucking believably good win percentage.

I would further conclude that certain people he chose like Lederer have historically never done well at the WSOP. Period. Out of date, wannabe, fucking player.

Moron. Learn some fucking math skillz instead of your retarded lawyer twisting reality to suit yourself skills. jackoff.

Good News on FT Front

"According to the L.A. Times Article, the attorneys representing Full Tilt Poker have said the company signed an agreement Tuesday with a group of unidentified European investors who would put up enough money to pay back players, while gaining a majority stake in Full Tilt’s parent company Pocket Kings. "

Assuming this is true then people should get paid back soon.

Here is the link to the LA Times article also.